The Love Life

By Davison Kanokanga

This book is an excellent tool for those wanting a healthy relationship with themselves and with others. It will teach you how to overcome different types of sexual temptation, how to deal with stress and grief, how to avoid fatal attractions, how to manage your finances as well as how to have healthy relationships. It is a must have.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Sep 27, 2012
• ISBN: 9781477222171

Davison Kanokanga

Davison Kanokanga is a senior lawyer who practices law in Harare, Zimbabwe. He is the author of several books on love, marriage and relationships. He is also a radio and television personality, a marriage counselor, a preacher and a conference speaker. Davison and his wife Gwendoline are the founders of The Marriage Centre which offers pre-marriage and marriage counseling services as well as the senior pastors of Impact Christian Centre, a bible based church in Zimbabwe.

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©2012 Davison Kanokanga. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in

a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means

without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 11/13/12

ISBN: 978-1-4772-2216-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-2217-1 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Chapter 1 Sexual Temptation

Chapter 2 Recipe for a healthy relationship

Chapter 3 Stress management

Chapter 4 Grief

Chapter 5 Fatal attraction

Chapter 6 Money matters

Chapter 1

Sexual Temptation

THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF TEMPTATION. Chief amongst them are pride, money and sex. Many Christians have fallen, are falling and will continue to fall because of pride, money and or sex. Families, great men and women of God as well as great ministries have been destroyed either because of financial or sexual scandals. This is partly because there are not many churches that teach their members on the dangers of succumbing to any one of these temptations as well as what one can do when tempted. Due to the lack of knowledge in this area, some people have perished whilst others continue to perish.

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge}

The knowledge which you are going to acquire as a result of reading this book is going to guard you against falling victim to sexual temptation. No longer will you be ignorant concerning sexual temptation.

The entrance of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.²

So, what is sexual temptation? It is simply temptation of a sexual nature. It is being enticed, persuaded or seduced into engaging in a prohibited sexual act. Anyone who engages in a prohibited sexual act becomes by virtue of that act, sexually immoral. In other words, sexual temptation can lead to sexual immorality. You never fall into sexual immorality. You walk into it. Sexual immorality is not something that happens to you. NO. It is something you make happen. Sexual immorality is a choice. You can choose to be either sexually pure or sexually immoral. The choice is entirely yours. To choose to be sexually immoral is to choose to live in sin.

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people³

Types of sexual immorality

Bestiality

This refers to having sex with an animal. The bible prohibits bestiality.

Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it.A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it;that is apervesion"⁴

In Zimbabwe, bestiality is a criminal offence. Sec-tion 74 of the Criminal Law (Codification & Reform Act (Chapter 9:23) provides that;

Anyperson who knowingly commits any sexual act with an animal shall be guilty of bestiality

Incest

This refers to sexual intercourse within a prohibited degree of relationship. In Zimbabwe, incest is a criminal offence. Section 75 (2) of the Criminal

Law (Codification & Reform Act) Chapter 9:23 provides that;

"Where sexual intercourse takes place between :-

(a) A parent and his or her natural child, whether born in or out of wedlock, or adopted, whether the child is under the age of eighteen years or not, or

(b) A step-parent and his or her step-child, whether the step-child’s parent and step-parent are married under the Marriage Act (Chapter 5:11) or the Customary Marriages Act (Chapter 5:07) or are parties to an unregistered customary law marriage and whether or not the child was over the age of eighteen years at the time of the marriage; or

(c) A brother and sister, whether whole or half blood,; or

(d) An uncle and his niece; or

(e) A grand-uncle and his grand-niece; or

(f) An aunt and her nephew; or

(g) A grand-aunt and her grand-nephew; or

(h) A grand-parent and his or her grand-child; or

(i) Any person and his first or second cousin; or

(j) Any person and an ascendant or descendant of his or her spouse whether the person and his or her spouse or former spouse are or were married under the Marriage Act (Chapter 5:11) or the Customary Marriages Act (Chapter 5:07) or are or were parties to an unregistered customary law marriage; or

(k) Any person and his or her ascendant or descendant in any degree;

(l) Any person and a descendant of a brother or sister, whether of whole or half blood; and either or both of the parties know or realize that there is a real risk of possibility that they are related to each other in any of the foregoing degrees of relationship, either or both parties to the intercourse as the case may be, shall be guilty of sexual intercourse within a prohibited degree of relationship.

The bible also condemns incest. It says;

"No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations...

Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; do not have sexual relations with your father’s wife; that would dishonor your father. Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere. Do not have sexual relations with your son’s daughteror your daughter’s daughter, that would dishonor you. Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father’s wife, born to your father, she is your sister. Do not have sexual relations with your father’s sister; she is your father’s close relative. Do not have sexual relations with your mother’s sister, because she is yourmoth-er s close relative. Do not dishonor your father’s brother by approaching his wife to have sexual relations; she is your aunt.Do not have sexual relations with your daughter-in-law. She is your son’s wife; do not have sexual relations with her. Do not have sexual relations with your brother’s wife; that would dishonor your brother. Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. Do not have sexual relations with either her son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter; they are close relatives. Do not take your wife’s sister as a rival wife and sexual relations with her while your wife is living"⁵

Lesbianism/Homosexuality

This occurs when sexual intercourse takes place between people of the same sex.

And the man, instead of having normal sex relationships with women burned with lust for each other, men doing shameful things with other men...⁶

Fornication

This takes place when an unmarried person has sexual intercourse;

.God wants you to be holy and pure and to keep clear of all sexual Sins so that each of you will marry in holiness and honour⁷

God takes fornication so seriously that he has prepared a lake of fire for fornicators

But for the fearful, and unbelieving, and abominable, and murderers,and fornicatorsand sorcerers, and idolaters, and liars, their part shall be in the lakethat That burneth with fire and brimstone⁸

Masturbation

This occurs when one sexually arouses himself or herself by manual stimulation of the genitals;

So I say to those who aren’t married and to wid-ows...better to stay unmarried if you can, just as I am. But if you can’t control yourselves go ahead and marry. It is better to marry than to burn with lust⁹

Adultery

This refers to voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person other than his or her spouse.

Honour your marriage and its vows, and be pure; for God will surely punish all those who are immoral or commit adultery¹⁰

Causes of Sexual Immorality

There is nothing mysterious about sexual immorality. No act of sexual immorality is inexplicable. There are reasons as to why some people engage in various acts of sexual immorality. Here are some of the reasons;

Failure to set boundaries

Whenever one is involved in a caring relationship such as the relationship which exists between a teacher and a student, a doctor and a patient, a counselor and a counselee, an employer and an employee or a pastor and a congregant-it is particularly important that there be boundaries. The mere setting of boundaries is however not enough. The boundaries have to be respected to avoid a situation where some of these caring relationships evolve into something else. For example, some people who were involved in some caring relationships ended up fornicating or committing adultery.

Wrong Association

It is a fact that you are either influencing or being influenced by the person(s) with whom you associate. In other words-no relationship is neutral. The people with whom you associate mold your character. If you associate with wise people you will become wise. By the same token, if you associate with sexually immoral people you will become sexually immoral.

Following the desires of the sinful nature

The bible makes it quite clear that unless one lives by the Spirit, they will follow the desires of the sinful nature. These desires are ungodly. They lead to such things as drunkenness, idolatry, hatred and sexual immorality.

"I say then walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust