Autumn Ivy Cannon: A Mother’S Perspective from Struggle to Triumph—Wilms’ Tumor

By Juliet Knowles

Juliet Knowles began writing a blog about her daughters fight with cancer as a way to reach out to others in the same situation, and her work became a personal story of survival. Now she offers her perspective on that struggle in Autumn Ivy Cannon. Juliets daughter, Autumn, is a wonderful, beautiful, and strong little girl who had a very rough and exhausting fourth year of her life. She was diagnosed with a form of kidney cancer just two months after her fourth birthday.

For Juliet, hearing that her child had cancer seemed unbelievable, unmanageable, and unreal. It felt as if she were witnessing someone elses life from a distance, something she believes was a way of protecting her own emotions from the tragedy. Now, looking back, she recalls her experiences of facing that tremendous challenge and learning of her own capacity for strength and endurance.

Juliet began writing during Autumns cancer diagnosis and treatment in the beginning of 2011. It was an intense year, full of anxiety and frustration as well as moments of truly understanding both lifes brevity and its greatness. Sifting through photos and rereading the passages she wrote during the past year throughout Autumns recovery has helped her to heal, reach out, and share her story with others.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Apr 17, 2013
• ISBN: 9781475982589

Juliet Knowles

Juliet Knowles, currently an instructor at Cal Poly in San Luis Obispo, has a bachelor’s degree in biology from UC–Santa Barbara and a master’s degree in evolutionary biology from SFSU. This is her first published book. She lives with her three daughters along the central coast of California.

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Contents

Tuesday March 15, 2011

Tuesday March 15, 2011 Midnight

Wednesday March 16, 2011

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Friday, March 18, 2011

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Monday, March 21, 2011

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Friday, April 1, 2011

Friday, April 1, 2011

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Friday, April 8, 2011

Monday, April 11, 2011

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Monday, April 18, 2011

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Monday, April 25, 2011

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Friday, April 29, 2011

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Monday, May 16, 2011

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Monday, May 30, 2011

Friday, June 3, 2011

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Friday, June 24, 2011

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Monday, June 27, 2011

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Monday, July 4, 2011

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Friday, July 8, 2011

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Monday, July 11, 2011

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Monday, July 18, 2011

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Monday, July 25, 2011

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Friday, July 29, 2011

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Monday, August 1, 2011

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Monday, August 8, 2011

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Monday, August 15, 2011

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Friday, August 19, 2011

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Monday, August 22, 2011

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Friday, September 2, 2011

Monday, September 5, 2011

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Monday, September 12, 2011

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Friday, September 16, 2011

Monday, September 19, 2011

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Friday, September 23, 2011

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Monday, September 26, 2011

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Friday, September 30, 2011

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Monday, October 3, 2011

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Monday, October 10, 2011

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Monday, October 17, 2011

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Friday, October 28, 2011

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Monday, October 31, 2011

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Friday, November 4, 2011

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Monday, November 7, 2011

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Friday, November 11, 2011

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Monday, November 14, 2011

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Friday, November 18, 2011

Monday, November 21, 2011

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Friday, November 25, 2011

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Monday, November 28, 2011

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Monday, December 5, 2011

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Friday, December 9, 2011

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Monday, December 12, 2011

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Monday, December 26, 2011

Friday, December 30, 2011

Monday, January 2, 2012

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Monday, January 9, 2012

Monday, January 16, 2012

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Friday, January 27, 2012

Friday, February 3, 2012

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Monday, February 13, 2012

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Friday, March 9, 2012

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Monday, April 8, 2012

Monday, April 9, 2012

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Friday, May 18, 2012

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Friday, June 1, 2012

Monday, June 4, 2012

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

June 21, 2012

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Thursday, September 27, 2012

To Sage and Lindsey,

for being the best big sisters Autumn could ask for!

From Heartbreak to Hope—a Cancer Story

This is a story about my daughter, a wonderful, beautiful and strong little girl who had a very rough and exhausting fourth year of her life. Autumn was diagnosed with a form of kidney cancer just two months after her fourth birthday. Cancer is a frightening word, part of our vocabulary that has become almost taboo. When you hear that your child has cancer, it seems unbelievable, unmanageable and unreal. It feels like someone else’s life that you are witnessing from a distance. Perhaps distancing ourselves from tragedy is a way of protecting our emotions. No one ever knows what life we are going to be handed, what challenges we will face nor the capacity of our inner strength. We each have a road to travel, most of which is unknown to us until we look back and realize all we have endured over a lifetime.

I began writing this blog during Autumn’s cancer diagnosis and treatment in the beginning of the year 2011. It was an intense year, full of anxiety and frustration as well as moments of truly understanding life’s brevity as well as its greatness. Sifting through photos and re-reading the passages I wrote during the past year throughout Autumn’s recovery has helped me to heal, to reach out and to share her story with others. I hope it may offer you the same.

Tuesday March 15, 2011

There is often a day in each of our lives that is simply unforgettable. For some, that day is remembered as the greatest moment in their lives. For others, that day would best be forgotten.

Ours began on a Tuesday morning, March 15, 2011, a day that began like so many others but that ended unlike any I had ever experienced.

Autumn, my four-year-old and I, were at the local beauty school for a haircut. When it was time to leave, she tripped and fell off her chair onto the floor and began crying. Her cry was intense, and it was different from any other cry she had ever had. It was unusual. I had no idea what had happened, but something was just not right. She vomited and then seemed eerily sedated. It was frightening. I rushed her to the ER where she proceeded to vomit so forcefully that I began to panic.

The ER doctor gave her some medicine to take the pain away. She continued to complain of severe side pain but could barely talk and just didn’t know how to communicate how she was feeling. I felt helpless and scared.

After an initial scan, the doctor thought Autumn might have an issue with her spleen, something that might be resolved over time. I felt a bit of relief as I sank back into my chair. There wasn’t much we could do; we had to wait and monitor the spleen. They gave her pain medication, and she seemed to be doing better.

Moments later, the doctor returned with unexpected news. He said that it was not Autumn’s spleen, but it appeared to be her kidney that was the problem. He showed me her right kidney, then her left and explained that her left kidney had a very large tumor growing on it. WHAT? What does that mean? Was this cancer? Was it benign? Are you sure?? I was confused. The only thought that kept passing through my mind was that this was some kind of freak benign tumor, a large mass that was going to be removed. Autumn would recover in weeks, and life would go back to normal.

I had no idea what I was dealing with, or how profoundly the next year of her life was about to change.

I asked the doctor what needed to be done, what was next? He said that Autumn had to be flown immediately by helicopter to Santa Barbara for the removal of this tumor. Since we had no pediatric surgeons in San Luis Obispo, this was our only option. He also said that there was a good chance that I could accompany her, because my demeanor was fairly composed. (Was it?)

It took about thirty minutes for the helicopter to arrive. They placed Autumn on a stretcher and covered her in blankets up to her neck. She looked so helpless, so innocent and so very tiny. She had no idea what was going on. It was at this point that they informed me that I could not join her. At that moment I could only feel rage rushing through my veins. I had to be there with her; how could she go in alone?

I called a friend who was able to drive me down to the hospital. A nurse, she was an ideal person to be with as she had seen situations such as these in the past. On the drive down, the only thing I could fathom was that this tumor was just a mass, not cancer. It couldn’t be cancer; how could it be? I tried to think positively.

When we arrived at the hospital, Autumn was already in surgery.

Tuesday March 15, 2011 Midnight

Autumn is a brave little girl who just had to undergo three hours of surgery to remove a huge tumor (about the size of a grapefruit), along with her left kidney. She made it through surgery and is now in recovery, but we have yet to hear a final diagnosis. Waiting is the hardest part.

All we do know is that it could be a stage 3 or 4 Wilms tumor, a type of kidney cancer. There are many other factors but all of the pathology reports have to come back before we can know for sure. We may know more tomorrow, but some of the results take up to a week or two. That feels like forever, and I all I can do is search on the Internet, looking up everything having ANYTHING to do with Wilms. There is too much information out there. It can be a dangerous place for a parent—a scary lonely place without much solace.

What just happened??

At this point all we know is that Autumn will have to undergo at least six months of chemotherapy and radiation which seems so insane to me. All we can do is hope for the best pathology results and the absolute best recovery.

At this moment I realize that life is going to change. Our family is going to change. Autumn is going to have to endure more than I ever had to in my entire life. I am writing this blog to share Autumn’s story with her family and friends.

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Wednesday March 16, 2011

We are at Cottage Hospital in Santa Barbara right now, most likely for the next four to five days. We will then go home and set Autumn up with all that she needs. She already misses home and her sisters. In a few days, we should be able to have visitors, but for now, the doctors recommend that we keep any visitors to the waiting room as there may be risk of infection.

As I sit and watch the news regarding the nuclear disaster in Japan, it just makes everything in life seem so very surreal right now.

Please keep Autumn in your thoughts.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

A few hours ago we were finally able to talk to the hematologist and oncologist regarding any reports that they have. There are so many questions, I hardly know where to begin.

At this point what we know is that Autumn most likely has a stage three Wilms tumor (tumor of the kidney). After all of the initial reports, it seems to be that this is, indeed, what they removed two days ago.

So, what does all of this mean?

Autumn will have to undergo two to three weeks of daily radiation, each session of which takes about twenty to thirty minutes. She will also have to go through chemotherapy treatments involving three types of drugs once a week for the next ten weeks and then every three weeks for about four months.

We are so thankful that she does not have to undergo any more than this, as this will be overwhelming enough for such a little body!

Autumn is a strong little girl, as most of you have already noted! We have so appreciated all of the love, support and care that all of you have given to her over the past two days. Thank you!!!

Life is precious.

Friday, March 18, 2011

We had a great night last night, as most of the nurses were trying to allow Autumn to sleep a bit. The night before was a bit challenging, because it seemed as though every thirty minutes someone stopped in the room to check something, take blood (her least favorite part!), change the IV bag, or any number of other things that needed to be measured. I am trying to sleep on the little twin bed with her. It feels good to keep her close.

We are hoping to make it home this weekend, which is a bit scary and wonderful at the same time. Autumn seems to be feeling better. She can move around and make it to the bathroom almost on her own.

For those of you who know her sisters well, you may appreciate this. Yesterday when Lindsey and Sage came to visit, Lindsey and Autumn, almost instantly, like clockwork, got into a bit of a tiff. That’s when it seemed apparent that Autumn was feeling