Why Not Me?

By Linda McBride

One night waking up from a dream, wet with perspiration and head pounding came the realization that something was battling my heart and soul. Finding a lump in my neck led to a biopsy. The day after surgery my son gently wiped a tear from my eye. He said with fear, There is blood in your tears! Unexpectedly, a drug reaction sent me back to the hospital. Waiting in the hospital bed for the doctor to arrive with the biopsy results, anticipating the discharge. I was ready to go home. The doctor walked in and looked to my daughter and said You dont know how hard my walk from my office was. The words we never wanted to hear. You have cancer. I felt a tear fall on my arm, it was my husbands. I said Why? I had to think, I had to plan but I could only think of one thing. I have cancer. I could die.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Inspiring Voices
• Release date: Aug 7, 2012
• ISBN: 9781462402090

Linda McBride

Linda McBride lives in a small, old house in Southern California with her family and dogs. Her philosophy is that community can be everywhere, including work, home, and with family and friends. Beth Kennedy, illustrator, is currently a studio artist in Bozeman, Montana.

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Copyright © 2012 Linda McBride

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ISBN: 978-1-4624-0209-0 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4624-0208-3 (sc)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012942543

Inspiring Voices rev. date: 8/01/2012

Contents

PREFACE

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER 1 THE DIAGNOSIS

CHAPTER 2 WHY?

CHAPTER 3 PLAN OF CARE

CHAPTER 4 THE DREAM

CHAPTER 5 SIDE EFFECTS

CHAPTER 6 WONDERFUL MOTHER

CHAPTER 7 ACCEPTANCE

CHAPTER 8 REALITY

CHAPTER 9 CHEERS TO ANOTHER BIRTHDAY

CHAPTER 10 GRADUATION

CHAPTER 11 ELATION

Also by Linda Ray McBride

Mema Has Cancer

Preface

I doubted everything. What was wrong? I was spiritual but so afraid;

I loved my life and feared the suffering. I had to prepare myself and my family for a time that would change our lives forever.

Dear God give me the strength to survive.

Acknowledgement

McDonald Baptist Church I will always be thankful for your prayers, endless meals, just right amount of visits, calls and the fact that you were available for my family and understood when I was too sick for visits. Also my wonderful husband, children, grand kids who kept me full of hope when I wanted to give up. Bob, you are the love of my life. Hunter, Hannah, Micah, Sarah, Cade and Braylon, you are the sweetest grand kids, full of love, joy, and always surprises. Tommy, Amanda and David, you are the strength that makes a mother so proud and thankful every day for having children.

Introduction

We can feel discouraged, disappointed and selfish longing for life as it was, and then we see another person that is much worse. Realizing I have no right to question, why this happened to us. I will continue to pray and believe

I will survive.

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Cancer can never extinguish Love

Chapter 1

The Diagnosis

I looked over at my daughter and was happy she was with me. I was so blessed to have my children so close. I had gone to the emergency room with a drug reaction to the antibiotic Doctor Lee had prescribed after the neck biopsy. Just 6 months earlier we had the big cancer scare, a spot on my lung had enlarged and the Doctor was convinced it