Thank God I Had a Stroke: A Stroke and Brain Tumour Survivor’S Journey of Recovery

By Barbara Gabogrecan

It is devastating when a busy person who thrives on setting goals and meeting them is suddenly struck with a serious illnessa situation made worse if the person is responsible for caring for others.

Barbara Gabogrecan had always been a busy woman with a plan, one who thrived on setting goals and meeting them. In addition to her many professional responsibilities, she was caring for her blind and deaf ninety-year-old mother who was battling dementia. Her husbands chronic back condition left him bedridden much of the time. She didnt have the time or energy to deal with any moreand thats when her own life was changed in an instant, when she had, in quick succession, a stroke and subsequent surgery for a brain tumour.

For many people, that would have been the final straw, but for Barbara, it was the chance to rise above her adversity and not just survive but prosper. Her extraordinary life experiences and accomplishments shaped her character, and now she shares her journey to recovery in candid detail with humour and compassion.

Barbara tells her story in the hope of inspiring those who are living with a serious illness or are caring for someone who is.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press AU
• Release date: Apr 17, 2013
• ISBN: 9781452509815

Barbara Gabogrecan

Barbara Gabogrecan is an award-winning artist, author, speaker and entrepreneur. She runs Home-Based Businesses Australia, develops websites, and writes articles and e-books, including Are You Ready to Start a Business?, E-Book Marketing and Selling, and Home-Based Business Ideas. Her beautiful silk paintings are treasured by international collectors.

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Copyright © 2013  Barbara Gabogrecan

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

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Balboa Press rev. date: 04/15/2013

CONTENTS

Foreword

Preface

Introduction

Chapter 1    A Few Blinding Moments and My Life Was Changed Forever

Chapter 2    Good News and Bad News

Chapter 3    The Shock of My Life

Chapter 4    The Silver Lining

Chapter 5    Why Me?

Chapter 6    I Moved to a Hotel

Chapter 7    Building Bridges

Chapter 8    The MRI Madness

Chapter 9    Preparing for the Unknown

Chapter 10  Major Surgery and the Aftermath

Chapter 11  I Am King Hit in Hospital

Chapter 12  Caring for Others

Chapter 13  Touching My Heart and Soul

Chapter 14  A Tough Time

Chapter 15  I Needed Help

Chapter 16  On the Road to Recovery

Chapter 17  My Full Circle

Afterword

In memory of my mother, Esma Frances Deece.

She gave me the courage to be me.

When you see something, you will forget it. When you hear something, you will remember it. But not until you do something will you understand it.

-Anonymous

FOREWORD

I met Barbara on the neurology ward in June 2011 at the time of her stroke. I was impressed with how quickly she adjusted to her situation. One of the first questions she asked me was, Will I be able to read again?

What followed was a journey of discovery as Barbara examined, assessed, and discovered what she did and didn’t have. The human being in time can conquer and compensate for lost ability and indeed, this is what she has taught me.

A sudden impairment of brain function can be incapacitating, especially if it affects your communication skills. It is especially traumatic if you depend on those skills for your living.

To have a deep-seated brain tumour, discovered incidentally at the time of a stroke, is a lot for any person to digest.

On June 10, 2011, Barbara underwent a complex operation to remove her brain tumour, and through motivation and perseverance, she made a speedy recovery. Looking after Barbara in hospital, I noticed how she cared and involved herself with those around her. No doubt, this was a small reflection of her lifetime spent caring for others.

I am sure her life experience (as told in this book) will inspire those who read it. There are lessons learned for those of us in health care on perspectives through the eyes of the patient. There are lessons for all of us on how we can successfully meet significant challenges in life.

Congratulations, Barbara on achieving this publication within barely a year of such major life events. I am sure you will charge on with life!

Mr. Arul Bala, MBBS (Hons.), FRACS (N. Surg.)

PREFACE

I have always congratulated myself on my strength of character, my determination, and my ability to take on a number of tasks with vigour and passion.

I have also had a strong desire to help others by sharing my experiences and skills with them. To watch others make changes to their lives so that their confidence and self-assurance grows because of my support gives me a sense of achievement and a great deal of pleasure and satisfaction.

Even though I think I have coped with many difficult problems in my life, they paled into insignificance when compared to the life threatening double whammy I experienced by having to mentally and physically cope with both a stroke and a brain tumour at the same time.

As I dealt with each stage of my illness, I wanted to share my journey with others who might be suffering from similar illnesses. I am sure that my goal-oriented approach to my illness helped with my recovery. By sharing my journey, I hope that others might also find solace and inspiration during their time of suffering.

In my case, the love and support of my husband Pete was a major factor in the speed of my recovery. Therefore, I also wanted to let the loved ones caring for those suffering understand what they are going through and just how critical their support is for a final, triumphant recovery.

In the process of wanting to help the sufferers and their caregivers, I have told my story as I really felt it. However, I did not expect the medical team to find something of value in this narrative. I was therefore surprised when Mr. Bala, my surgeon, said, From a medical perspective, it was valuable seeing your honest insight of the entire hospital experience. Nurses and other professionals from my medical support team also indicated that they were keen to read my story. It would help them better understand exactly how patients felt about the treatment and help they got when in hospital, and they could therefore better assist in the care of these patients.

This story is not simply a chronology or a factual medical interpretation. I wrote it around my own emotional, and at times frightening, experiences. I designed it to inspire and enthuse readers to enable those suffering to cope with their illness and to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

INTRODUCTION

Peter O’Connor

B arbara had quite a unique early life that was different from what most children in Australia experienced. It was definitely foreign to children such as me, who were born and grew up in the city. She was brought up in the bush where her dad managed sheep properties and broke in horses. Her entire network consisted of the family: her mum, dad, and two younger brothers (Jimmy and Fred). Barbara and Jimmy completed their primary schooling by correspondence and learnt to be self-sufficient, confident, determined, and resourceful.

This lifestyle meant that Barbara did miss out on a number of social skills, such as how to respond and react with her peers, but her unusual upbringing helped shape her into the strong and resilient person she is today.

There is no doubt in my mind that Barbara’s early life gave her both the strength and courage to cope with having a stroke and brain tumour. Her incredible journey through trauma, acceptance, and eventually recovery is a testament to her strength of character that developed in those early years.

As Barbara matured, another trait that became obvious was her desire to care for and share information with others. She treated her career of teaching art more like a vocation than a job. She had a fierce determination to share her knowledge and experience with her young students and took great delight in watching students hone their creative skills, enabling them to achieve far beyond their own expectations.

I remember one occasion when she and three senior students spent a weekend outdoors painting a complex landscape. Barbara and one of her students sold their paintings to a gallery, and Barbara was ecstatic to learn that the student sold his for double what she received!

Barbara carried this enthusiasm into the next stage of her life when she developed a successful art business and began to mentor other start-up business operators. She decided to develop Home Based Business Australia to give herself a platform from which she could share information and enthuse and motivate her colleagues as they developed their own businesses. Barbara encouraged me to help her build a number of websites and blogs to further assist the home-business sector. Her three main sites were listed on page one of Google, which was no mean feat for someone who was a self-confessed dummy when it came to technology.

Barbara then wrote a number of business self-help books and became a renowned key speaker both in Australia and overseas. She also organised a number of prestigious events, including awards for small business. The awards attracted major sponsors as well as state government departments to help run them throughout Australia.

All of Barbara’s efforts were aimed at helping micro and home based businesses. It did not take long for her to became known as the home-business guru, and a number of government departments (federal, state, and local) invited her to sit on various committees and advise them on the needs of the sector.

I feel that writing this book was simply another platform for Barbara to share her experiences for the benefit of others. Instead of targeting business operators, her story is now aimed at helping those going through the same traumas as she did or for loved ones trying to cope with those who are suffering. It therefore surprised both her and me when a number of medical professionals (from nurses to doctors) said they felt it was also important for them to understand how the patient felt and coped with the trauma of a serious illness. Apparently, these professionals were also keen to read her book.

Barbara has always thrived on setting goals, as they provide her with challenges that give a real boost to her ego and build her confidence, allowing her to move forward with gusto and passion. Writing this book was a major goal that she enthusiastically strove to fulfil, at a time when she desperately needed a trigger to boost her morale. I am sure that Barbara did not fully realise just how difficult it was going to be. I witnessed her struggle with her handicap during the writing of this book, and I was just so pleased that I was there and able to help her to the degree that I did.

It wasn’t just me who encouraged, supported, and loved her during her time of trauma and recovery. Her mum and eldest son, Mark, who lives with us, were always there for her too. Her two younger brothers, Jimmy and Fred, lived in other states, and she did not get to see them very often. During her illness, Jimmy rang regularly to check on how she was coping and Fred actually made the trip from interstate to the hospital to see her for the first time in nearly ten years. I know that she was really chuffed by this, as she missed Fred a great deal.

Barbara has two sons: Mark and Billy. Mark has experienced many problems throughout his life of forty-five years, from the time of his birth when Barbara clinically died for three minutes to now as he struggles to lose excess weight. Mark has never married and has become an uncle figure to the many children of his friends.

Her younger son, Billy, is in the army, and Barbara seldom sees him with his overseas postings and constant movement from one state to another. As a youngster,