Ten Proverbs Singles Should Know Before Marriage: The Real Truth About Singleness and Marriage and What the Church Will Not Tell You
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About this ebook
Ten Proverbs...is a transparent and biblical approach to dealing with everyday propositions, healthy and unhealthy relationships, marriage, and divorce.
Ten Proverbs...encourages you not to give up on God.
Ten Proverbs...offers prayers and a prayer journal to help you transition from hurt to healed as you unmask the hurt and pain.
Ten Proverbs...offers prayers and a prayer journal to help you discern Mr. Right from Mr. Wrong.
Ten Reasons...encourages readers to forgive.
A story of hurt to healed.
Lucinda G. Graham
Elder Lucinda G. Graham is an ordained elder in the Church and she has served as a campus minister. She has traveled across the country, planting churches, participating in conferences and preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Lucinda has done further study towards a doctorate of philosophy degree and a doctorate of ministry degree. Lucinda has one daughter, Hope.
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Ten Proverbs Singles Should Know Before Marriage - Lucinda G. Graham
Copyright © 2015 Lucinda G. Graham.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
Scripture quotations taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.
New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright © 1989, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
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ISBN: 978-1-4908-7544-6 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4908-7546-0 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-4908-7545-3 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2015905179
WestBow Press rev. date: 4/23/2015
To all the people who have supported the ministry God has given me, your prayers, time, love, and finances did not go unnoticed. Bless you!
CONTENTS
Acknowledgments
Preface
Chapter 1: Save and Invest
Chapter 2: Stay True to Yourself
Chapter 3: Avoid Negativity and Be Positive
Chapter 4: Keep It to Yourself
Chapter 5: Speak up. I Can’t Hear You.
Chapter 6: That Is Not a Rhetorical Question
Chapter 7: Stop Blinking
Chapter 8: What’s Mine Is Mine
Chapter 9: The Same Thang It Took
Chapter 10: Pray without Ceasing
Afterword
The Pep Talk
Prayer Journal
Notes
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I thank God for the experience to share my story with others who are wondering about marriage and what to expect. I would like to thank my students for allowing me to practice the Word of God on them. Without the practice, I would not have seen the manifestation of the Holy Spirit at work. I would like to thank my friends far and near who witnessed my pain and perhaps felt my pain but never once judged me. My family has always thought I was over the top. Thanks for encouraging me to express who I am and to never give up. I would like to acknowledge my daughter Hope.
PREFACE
The shelves are lined with princess dolls and bridal dolls, which adds to the fantasy of one day being married to Prince Charming or Mr. Right. This is normal because it’s every girl’s dream to be married with children. There are sitcoms and family television shows pivoting a twisted view of what marriage and life are really about. But the reality is that there is no Prince Charming or Mr. Right who will sweep you off your feet. Prince Charming is a television mogul illusion, and Mr. Right can be wrong for you if you are not very careful.
Mr. Right may say all the right things and make all the right moves, but has Mr. Right shared with you his dark side? Prince Charming may pay for the elaborate gifts and fine dining experiences, but has Prince Charming shared with you that his financial status is insolvent? Mr. Right and Prince Charming both have a past. The question is this: Are you equipped mentally and spiritually to handle the past? What really happens during the courtship? Is it really a courtship? What is the difference between dating and courting?
As I write this book, I think of the women who cried on my shoulder when they realized their marriages were over. I filed for divorce five years before my divorce was finalized. There are ten things I wish I had known as a single woman before I got married. I decided to share the proverbs and the reality of my marriage in a book. In this book I will refer to my ex-husband as Jay-Jay.
I bought tapes and books on how to live single and holy, but nothing compared to real life. I purchased marriage preparation materials and found that after the honeymoon I was not prepared for marriage at all. I believed scripture in the literal sense that I was a help meet, so I did whatever I could to make sure his dreams became reality. I purchased a truck for him and I even put his business in my name. This was done in the name of love because I believed marriage was until death would do us part, not divorce. I learned that Mr. Right was the wrong man for me.
America’s divorce rate is extremely high, and there is no explanation, only theories. Theories are only good for classrooms and textbooks. I was listening to a morning show and heard a marriage expert say that marriage is not work.
I have read and have heard of the extreme measures married couples take to keep their marriage together. Yet it still fails. I just have to believe, as a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ, that marriage is not for everyone and that some of us just need to remain single.
This explains the title of my book Ten Proverbs Singles should know before marriage. Marriage is not for everyone, and neither is remaining single; however, you have to be faithful in either singleness or marriage. I have forgiven myself and my ex-husband and have moved on to greater things in life; therefore, I am not bitter. I let go of the past and the strongholds that came with divorce, and I allowed God to redefine me and refresh me for a new and prosperous future.
As a divorcee, I would like to share my feelings during the time when I realized my marriage was over. I realized my marriage was over when my spouse moved from the master bedroom with me to the guest bedroom to sleep alone. I realized my marriage was