There Are Many Faces of Domestic Violence…: Here’S My Face

By Felicia Johnson

There Are Many Faces to Domestic Violence.Heres My Face!

This book will take you on a journey through thirteen faces of emotions. Each emotional face gives you a detailed glimpse into my world as a victim of domestic violence. There are thoughts that prompt me to never forget although I have forgiven.

You know what your problem is? You dont know how to treat a man because your dad wasnt in your life.
You wouldnt even think by looking at him he would do something like that to you, besides you have always been so strong and independent.
How could you get involve with someone like that?
Why dont you just leave?
How did I get here?
God why me?
This is my day to stop hurting!
You are wiser after you have been truly tested and stronger from having endured the experience.

How do you forgive someone who was determined to destroy you and called it love?

Since my experience, I have found that sharing my story has encouraged and even inspired other victims and survivors of domestic violence. This book gives a very different perspective to the battered woman. It provides a glimpse into the experience, the emotions and the escape of a woman who endured thirteen years of abuse. In addition, this book shares mind boggling adaptations to living through and surviving the abuse.

Felicia Johnson is an educator in the 3rd largest school district in Houston, Texas. She is an only child, a mother of two boys and a native of Little Rock, Arkansas. Ms. Johnson received her BS in Psychology from Campbell University and MA in Human Relations with an emphasis in counseling from the University of Oklahoma. This book was inspired by her love to write and the overall impact of this life altering experience.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Mar 28, 2012
• ISBN: 9781468563061

Felicia Johnson

Felicia Johnson is a native of Memphis, TN where she was raised and currently lives. She has a Bachelor’s of Science Degree in Biology and an Associate’s Degree in Nursing. She has been a registered nurse for more than twenty four years and has enjoyed having the opportunity to have worked in many interesting fields during her career as a nurse. She is a lover of romance novels. She is married with three children.

Book preview

There Are Many Faces of Domestic Violence . . .

Here’s My Face

Felicia Johnson

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AuthorHouse™

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Bloomington, IN 47403

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© 2012 by Felicia Johnson. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 03/11/2012

ISBN: 978-1-4685-6305-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-6302-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-6306-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012904704

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Dedication

Introduction

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

Resources

Dedication

Tears for Grandma

Author: Felicia Johnson

Grandma so many words left unspoken

Opportunities missed… .

The simplest gestures

A hug or kiss

A lifetime of love taken for granted…

By preconceived notions, misconceptions

Of eternity or worldly bliss

Haultin by reality of a wonderful life

Ceasing to no longer exist… .

Consumed with life’s struggles

Valuing only the superficial things

Missing out on the greatest gift

That life could ever bring… .

With God as the foundation

The word as the sword

There should never be a question

Why? . . . .

Let us just thank the Lord…

Shed our tears

And remember that my Grandma

Had a good life;

Because she lived not for herself but for Christ

These words are like fire now… .

That must be expelled

I love you Grandma regardless of…

Time, distance, and space

I know we will meet again at the end of my race…

Until then you will occupy

A secret place within my heart

A place until now was occupied only by God

Although time passes like grains of sand

Through my finger tips…

I am blessed

Are the words, which consistently flow from my lips

Everything is now standing still… .

Or moving in slow motion

But seemingly taken its place

Almighty God Thank you for your unmerited favor and saving grace.

My tears are visible as you can see…

You can rest grandma

Your race is complete…

And the tears I shed are a sign of victory not defeat

It’s alright now no more pain, misery or strife…

Grandma I know you had a good life

A true disciple you were indeed

A sister to some to others a mother,

But to me you will always be my god-fearing grandmother

I draw strength at this time from one fact alone

That you are home

Sitting on the right hand of the father where you belong

I can’t stop these tears though from rolling down my face

There are so many things… .

I wish I could’ve said to you face to face

The opportunity has passed

The words are bursting to be free

I scream with no restraint… .

I love you grandma and I wish you were still here with me.

There is an uneasy silence that I feel…

Consumed by my uncontrollable tears

My grandma is gone now!!!

My grandma is gone now!!!

And I know that she is peacefully sitting in her rightful place

She is looking down on each of us

From God’s throne of grace

Though tearful I am encouraged… .

By what my grandmother’s life stood for

And I draw strength from the opportunity

To stand as part of the greatest legacy she leaves behind

Serving a God that is forever faithful

And always merciful and kind

However, there is a void in my heart now…

For my grandma is gone!!!

So I will pray for you

And you pray for me

As we continue to allow her spirit to live in each one of us

Remembering her legacy of living for Christ

And all the personal memories of her daily sacrifice…

I am certain as times passes

It will get easier…

My tears, your tears, our tears

And the void though still present

Will be an inspiration to continue

To live according to God’s will…

Words can never express just how deeply

I love, respect and admire my grandmother and the sense of loss I feel,

But this is not good-bye for we will meet again . . . .

My grandmother, my confidant, and my eternal friend

This book is dedicated to the life and memory of my loving grandmother. It was her unconditional love and support, which will continue to inspire me.

In Loving Memory, Doris Marie Mays

Acknowledgement

I give honor first to God who is and will remain the head of my life. My grandmother Doris Marie Mays was a viable part in the motivation and the overall inspiration process of this book. She taught me that everything in life happens for a reason and God will somehow get the glory out of it no matter how painful. My mother Mary Rose Johnson has always been a pillar of impeccable resilience and strength. She nurtured and shaped me into the woman you will come to know throughout this book. These two beautiful and courageous women contributed greatly to my determination and motivation to survive and overcome the insurmountable obstacles and circumstances addressed throughout the content of this book. I cannot overlook my extremely talented and energetic sons Dell and Jamin. Dell is a constant reminder of resilience in spite of the negativity and ill-will that might come up against us. I am proud of his accomplishments and even prouder of his mistakes because it has made him stronger and wiser as he becomes the mighty man of valor God has purposed for him to be. Jamin is a consistent reminder of God’s miraculous beauty, which came out of a painfully damaging relationship. He is an earthly example of God’s unconditional love for me. Finally, I extend heartfelt gratitude to my loving family who has and will continue to be a source of unwavering support. This book would not have been possible without their love and encouragement. Love truly is an impeccable gift, which is why I have extended it to each person who has chosen to read this written proclamation of my mental/physical struggles and embrace my survival through the breaking of the shackles of manipulative control.

Foreword

My journey may seem a bit familiar and reflective to some, while astonishing and unbelievable to others. However, this story is one I feel must be told for my own personal growth and hopefully in the process it can encourage and inspire others. Although it is a difficult story to share, my experiences are a consistent reminder of my sense of loss. The little girl from Little Rock, Arkansas died through this life altering experience. I am no longer a believer in fairy tales but I do believe in love. Although, it is something I have yet to truly experience here on earth within the constraints of a relationship. I am certain it does exist because I was surrounded by it throughout my childhood. It was what kept me grounded throughout this marriage. I am not bitter or angry. I have forgiven the man but never his actions. It is my goal in life to not allow myself to dwell on or in the pain of my brutal past experiences.    Therefore, I felt the need to write this book to encourage myself and enlighten others. It is truly my hope that not just women but men as well will be inspired and encouraged through my transparency and candor.

Love is patient and kind. It is not envious, proud, rude, self-seeking, or easily angered. It rejoices with truth, always protects, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.

(1 Corinthians 13:4-7) It is my hope that mindsets will change and growth will take place for every individual who reads this book. The time has come for us to stop looking at the surface of people and circumstances. As I share the many faces of my experience, it is my hope that you will come to understand that we all have layers. My desire is that after reading and sharing this book someone will become encouraged, inspired, and maybe more attentive to the things that matter