Faith, Hope, and Love: A Personal Journey from I to I

By Sarojini and Shyam Kanagala

A portion of the book proceeds will be used towards the Clean India Mission (Swachh Bharat Abhiyan/Village Upliftment).
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A sculptor sees the beautiful statue: the image of a Jesus, a Buddha, a Rama, a Krishna, or a Sai hidden in a boulder. All his effort is essentially to remove the obscuring rock and release the image that was all along within. The Lord himself is the Divine Sculptor. The world is the Sculptors studio; life and the experiences it affords are the tools used by the Divine Sculptor to chisel out the excess rock and release the divine image trapped in the human boulder. This is a story of such transformation from unhewn self to radiant Self.

Sarojini and Shyam Kanagala are seekers of the higher wisdom. They participate actively in nonprofit organizations dedicated to serving under privileged communities in different parts of the world including - the U.S.A, Nepal, and India.

This little book contains all the gems of the universal teachings of all the ancient masters of spiritual cultures past and present; that of love, inner peace, and brotherhood...a birthright of all who manifest on this tiny planet.

Isaac Burton Tigrett, founder of The Hard Rock Cafe
and The House of Blues

This book is a delightful two-part ride into deep spacespiritual spacein a cosmic chariot drawn by two quite different yet matching steeds. Part I, The Journey Begins, consists of Sarojinis true life stories that help clear up why were all here. Part II, Home Coming, is husband Shyams learned probe into what here really means and lays out the map for getting to it.

Jack Hawley, author of The Bhagavad Gita:
A Walkthrough for Westerners

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Nov 19, 2015
• ISBN: 9781504334082

Sarojini

Sarojini Kanagala was born in India and earned a Master’s degree in English Literature from Nagarjuna University. She grew up in a devout family and naturally assimilated that atmosphere. She became a certified Montessori School Teacher after coming to the USA and she has several years of experience in the field as well as in the Spiritual education program. She authored a book on spirituality in one of the Indian languages titled “Sai Spandana” . Shyam Kanagala was also born in India. He studied aeronautical engineering from the Madras, Institute of Technology, and also from the Indian Institute of Technology, Madras. He also has a Master’s degree in Helicopter Engineering from the ENSICA, Toulouse, France. He worked for several years in the aeronautical industry before migrating to the USA. After coming over to the USA he pursued a Master’s in Computer Science from Texas A&M University. He currently works in the Information Technology field. . With articles contributed by many individuals from the USA, Sarojini and Shyam compiled a book – “United Souls of America for Sai” that was published in November 2010. . Sarojini and Shyam Kanagala are seekers of the higher wisdom. They participate actively in nonprofit organizations dedicated to serving under privileged communities in different parts of the world including - the U.S.A, Nepal, and India.

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Copyright © 2015 Sarojini & Shyam Kanagala.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-5043-3407-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-3409-9 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-3408-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015908519

Balboa Press rev. date: 11/17/2015

Contents

Preface

Foreword

Introduction

The Journey Begins

1 A New Beginning

2 Faith Tested and Hope Resuscitated

3 The Unseen Hand

4 Everyone Is a Guru

5 Love in Action

6 The Best Friend

7 Raw Fruit to Ripe Fruit

8 Divine Instruments

Homecoming

9 The Hound of Heaven

10 Eternal Quest

11 Pinnacle of Creation

12 Three in One

13 Mind: Friend or Foe

14 There Is Only One

15 The Golden Key

16 Heart: What's Cooking?

17 The Final Frontier

Afterword

Gratitude

Acknowledgements

Glossary of Terms

Notes

Lovingly dedicated to

Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba,

incarnation of Love

Preface

On Easter Sunday in 2013, while watching a TV program on the life of Jesus, we heard St. Paul share his words on Faith, Hope, and Love. You see these words at the beginning of this book. The thought of sharing our life journey took birth at that moment. It made us to reflect on our lives and the immense Grace that we have received and continue to receive.

Sarojini wrote her chapters while tuned into a stream of consciousness, and the thoughts and knowledge were given to her. Her writing was not in spurts but was one continuous flow. Once she put pen to paper, the words kept coming through without any hesitation. She was done midway through the summer of 2013.

Shyam's writing took off during the Labor Day weekend of 2013 while we were relaxing at the residence of our friends Elaine and Robert Hausman in Santa Fe, New Mexico. That morning, Shyam found himself strolling outside their home, which was built into a hill overlooking a vast expanse of land with a few houses generously spaced out. He watched as a large bird lazily drew circles in the largely cloudless sky. The night before, he had browsed through Robert's well-stocked library of scientific books and fallen into a reflective mood. The Los Alamos National Laboratory was pretty close by. The pages of history gently turned over in his mind's eye and set in flow a range of thoughts. He felt connected with nature and life in an intimate sense. The Eternal Quest chapter took birth in these settings. The remaining chapters would find expression later and were done by November 2013.

In the book, when referring to God, we have used the traditional pronoun of He. This is not meant to say that God is a male. Readers who feel more comfortable in relating to God as She, are requested to make the mental substitution as they read through. Also, for readers unfamiliar with Sanskrit terms, we have a glossary at the end of the book for easy reference.

Writing this book taught us many lessons as well. The virtue of patience was made to strike deeper roots. The act of juggling many daily tasks along with the writing of the book tested us. As many challenges surfaced from time to time, many of which were simply beyond us, we were led down the path of acceptance. This experience also helped reiterate that things happen only as per the divine will and divine timeline. In the midst of hectic activity where time was a driving force, we were shown the way to operate in a parallel world of timelessness by stilling our thoughts and our sometimes-restless minds.

We wish and pray that all of us are guided to find the meaning and purpose of our lives.

Foreword

This book is a celebration of the only thing ever truly worth celebrating: freedom. The spiritual journey takes us from the bondage of a false identity---believing ourselves to be an illusory, limited, individual self---to the realization of our true identity, which is the unlimited, eternal Divine Self. In that process, our consciousness expands from the tiny trickle of the human mind to the mighty river Ganga of the God Mind. Man expanded to infinity is God. That is our goal. That is our inheritance. And that is our ultimate challenge. It is the only truly meaningful purpose of being alive. And yet it appears to be a most arduous trek, a well-nigh impossible task, until we discover---not just in our minds, but in our hearts, in our guts, in our very essence---that it is we alone who have placed all the obstacles in our way, and it is we who must remove them. It is we, who are already at the goal and have always been there, but who are the very ones keeping ourselves bound, with nursery tales of bondage and limitation, centered on the worldly adventures of our bodies.

To help us escape from this self-made prison, it is essential to seek out guides who are free of their own web and can clearly show us the way out. And so it is good to find a realized master as a guide. It is even better to implore Rama or Krishna or Buddha or Christ, whose teachings are perennial and whose power lies in unseen dimensions, to help us on our way. But best of all, and rarest of all good chances, is to have God Himself come as avatar of this age, to choose us and to offer Himself in a physically accessible form, to be our guide and guru, and to show us the way home.

For the countless millions of devotees who have come into his fold, Sai Baba is the avatar of this age. He is revered as the incarnation of the full power of Divinity. Such an auspicious advent has not occurred since ancient days, when the Divinity came into human form, many thousands of years ago, in an earlier age of mankind. In our lifetimes, he came again in the role of world teacher to guide and uplift mankind, befriending all faiths and emphasizing the unity of all religions in the oneness of Divinity. Not being limited to the physical plane, Sai Baba worked and continues to work in all dimensions, gross and subtle, appearing through visions and dreams and inner experiences, inspiring from within and directing from without. He continues to illuminate the heart and transform the mind, and he reveals the greatest of all treasures, the immortal Atma, the universal Self, which is already abiding in every heart.

Just as sweetness cannot be understood through words alone but must be experienced directly through the taste so also the Sai phenomenon cannot be understood by merely reading about him, studying his words, or even experiencing him firsthand. His truth can be known only by fully living his teachings and practicing them in every thought, word, and action of daily life. By transforming our lives in this way, we discover the rarest of all jewels, which is the deepest mission for which He has incarnated, namely that the Divinity appears among us in order to remind us of our own divinity. I know who I am, He says. I have come to help you realize who you are. You and I are ever One. You, yourself, are God. You are in no way different from God.

The authors of this riveting narrative had the great good fortune, as did I, to receive their guidance directly from Sai Baba. But that doesn't mean their passage was easy or free of trepidation and difficulties. In this book, they take us on their journey of self-discovery. Theirs is a compelling account of what it means to live the sacred teachings Sai Baba came to instill in the hearts of all mankind. As a teacher in the Sathya Sai University, I had the good fortune to meet many bright students who were growing up to exhibit exemplary character. A few shone with a special luster. I would say that the authors of this work are of such mettle.

Upon leaving the safety and comfort of all that they cherished---their homes, their security, their warm families, the constant spiritual nurturing they had been brought up in---they gave all that up to come to a new country as strangers in a strange land and meet survival challenges at every turn, having only the spiritual teachings they had been steeped in to rely on. They met the hardships of starting a family while engaging in higher studies, scraping by, and all the while living with the uncertainty of where the money would come from to make ends meet.

Their compelling story serves as a powerful guide to what it means to lead a life following the teachings of truth, right action, love, peace, and nonviolence, which one-pointedly kept them on the road to self-realization, despite the most challenging adverse circumstances. In reading their account, we effortlessly find ourselves drawn into the lives of real human beings who are honest, warm, and compassionate and who write with clarity and wisdom. How readily we can identify with their challenges and, at the same time, find inspiration and encouragement to aspire to life's true purpose and to turn within to find answers to life's deeper questions.

As with the authors, we discover that as we proceed on our path, that the clouds of illusion thin out, and quite unexpectedly, we begin to experience and become aware of a great mystery. We suddenly realize that the spiritual journey we thought we were on is itself an illusion. We never were these separate embodied individuals living out our worldly lives. Instead, we are, and always have been, the immortal Atma, the universal Self. As Atma, we were never born, we will never be reborn, nor can we ever die. As Atma we have not come from somewhere, nor are we going somewhere. We have never changed. Only the illusion of separate existence has changed. Ultimately that illusion disappears, and we discover the glorious truth that we have always been one with God. Baba tells us, God if you think, God you are. Dust if you think, dust you are. Think God. Be God. You are God. Realize it. Like the blessed authors of this work are showing us, let us be about it!

Al Drucker

Visiting professor, Sri Sathya Sai University, Aerospace engineer and physicist, served with NASA, FAA, and National Academy of Sciences

Holocaust survivor US Army: Korea, Japan, China

Certified acupuncturist, homeopath, and rolfer

Author of Sai Baba Gita: The Way to Self-Realization and Liberation in This Age and Self-Realization: The Knowledge of the Absolute (based on Astavakra Gita)

Introduction

The Stories and Lessons

This is a book of life's lessons learned against the backdrop of our migration to the United States. As we tried to settle down in our new land, life threw many curveballs at us. We were fortunate to receive much help from different sources. This helped us adapt to life. However, during the difficult moments that we encountered, our thoughts were not so calm and composed. There was a feeling of unease and often outright restlessness, accompanied by a self-righteous sentiment of Why me? We had to remind ourselves that things happened for a reason, even if the reason itself was not apparent. We started to accept challenges as they came, and we offered gratitude for their presence in our lives. The lessons became our teachers.

The Lord was keen to nudge us along spiritually, and difficulties only served as means to this end. At the same time, he helped us realize that there were some core aspects that needed to be an intrinsic part of our lives, chief among them being Faith, Hope, and Love.

As time has passed, the restlessness during hard times has given place to a sense of serenity that comes from reliance on a higher power that governs things small and big. Not just that, but the Divine Spirit is also helping us navigate through the maze of this life. We are happier and better off today for the experience.

Through all this, the Divine allows us to peek behind the veil and catch a glimpse---however fleeting or fuzzy---of the face of the unseen director of this cosmic play called creation.

For the reader's convenience, the book is divided into two parts. The first, written primarily by Sarojini, has a collection of stories and anecdotes that served as a means for us to grow spiritually. Woven in between these stories are the lessons that we gained.

The second part of the book, written by Shyam, delves further into the lessons shared in the first part. Stories, too, form an integral part of this section, but perhaps to a slightly lesser extent than in the first part.

The Lessons and Stories

In the spiritual path, the initial phase may seem to have many thorns and pebbles. However, later on, it takes us to the purpose of our lives and to the truth of our being. The gains are priceless.

We appreciate you, dear reader, for joining us on our journey. There are ups and downs along the way, but the end is exhilarating. Life experiences gathered through the different events and challenges help us to know ourselves better. They help us to grow and understand the bigger picture. We reflect on deeper meanings for fundamental questions and pray for guidance. We reach for security in the midst of uncertainty. We constantly look for happiness through several means. We rely on our physical strength, material strength, and many such ultimately evanescent props. Eventually, we realize that the very truth, joy, and peace that we were in search of are to be found within our own selves. We see the wisdom in the apparent chaos. We then see the external world as a part of ourselves and not as a distinct entity. There is an integral relationship that runs through all appearances. This, we realize, is the one God, source, consciousness, and higher self - the One that manifests as all that is, was, or will be. The layers of ignorance are destroyed by the powerful light of knowledge, and we stand revealed in our true nature.

Namaste,

Sarojini and Shyam

The Journey Begins

Without Love we are nothing.

Love is patient; Love is kind;

It is not jealous; it does not boast;

It is not proud; it keeps no records of wrongs;

It rejoices with the truth; it bears all things;

It believes all things; it hopes all things; it endures---all things;

When everything else disappears, faith, hope, and love remain.

But the greatest of these---is LOVE.

---St. Paul's quote on love (partially modified)

1 A New Beginning

Sarojini

What the caterpillar calls the end the rest of the world calls a butterfly.

--- Lao-tzu

Change Is Fundamental

Change is the law of nature. This is inevitable. It has to be embraced and accepted. We feel comfortable adapting to predictable change. Anything other than that can cause a breakdown unless we take the first step of change in faith. It appears that we live in a self-made bubble that is filled only with our little selves. This tiny, airtight balloon has no room for anyone or anything. When this gets popped, the volcano erupts. We start to feel the pain when we are pushed out of our comfort zone and come face to face with reality. Disappointments, unexpected losses, troubled times, illness, and so on can cause frustration, leading us to turn within to ask questions about life and our existence. We observe that our innate, dormant wisdom comes to the surface.

Once we accept, trust, and surrender, we will soon understand the simple truth that we are born to realize our own potential, which is our innate divinity. Whether we know it or not, we live our lives in search of the ultimate reality.

Life gives ample chances to grasp the essence of our purpose, with its own wake-up calls to teach the required lessons to grow in love, in peace, and in right action. This teacher, called life, has a way of pulling us out of miserable scenarios, shedding light and grace, and healing us back to normal. All of us have unique stories, and we also have fortuitous opportunities to expand our awareness and see beyond our own little selves. With such expansion come limitless possibilities.

This book is all about the little self and its journey toward realizing the higher self.

A Little Background

I come from a middle-class Hindu family from Guntur, a district along the east coast of Bay of Bengal, which is located in the state of Andhra Pradesh, in India. Guntur is a famous center for education and learning in the region. It is also the home of many historically significant temples, such as the famous Amareswara Temple dedicated to Lord Shiva. According to legend, Gautama Buddha preached in nearby villages of Dharanikota and Dhaanyakatakam, located in the Amaravati mandal or county of Guntur district. According to history, scores of Buddhist stupas (shrines) and inscriptions have been excavated in the villages of Guntur.

My maternal grandfather, Jagannadha Rao, was a Gandhian, and he selflessly served the community. Grandmother, Mrs. Vimala, followed in his footsteps. My paternal grandparents, Mr. Bapayya and Mrs. Sarojini Devi, after whom I was named, served with distinction as educators and were Brahmo Samajists. The Brahmo Samaj was established in the early nineteenth century by a set of social reformers and community leaders who wished to eliminate untouchability and child marriages. These goals were primary among many elements of bringing the members of society together as one family without any differences under the umbrella of the one Brahman (supreme self). Their prayer was universal, and they offered it to the universal, formless divine.

My father, Anilkumar Kamaraju, is a retired science professor who is admired by all of his students. Hundreds of them turned out to be excellent educators and professionals. He is well versed in many spiritual teachings. As a renowned motivational speaker, he regularly addresses vast gatherings on integrating spirituality with day-to-day living. His talks are based on the teachings of our guru, Sri Sathya Sai Baba, as well as other enlightened and realized masters, including Jesus and Buddha. He has authored around thirty books and over five hundred CDs on the topics of spirituality and self-help. He travels around the world on various speaking engagements at seminars, conferences, and retreats. In all of these, he brings God's light, love, and laughter to diverse audiences. His very presence takes us effortlessly closer to our higher nature. My mother, Mrs. Vijayalakshmi Kamaraju, has worked as a teacher in a convent school. She too serves the community, especially its most underprivileged members.

Undoubtedly, then, my generation---which includes three siblings: my sisters, Sailaja and Yeshaswini, and my brother, Srinivas---grew up in an environment of devotion and faith to God. Sailaja and I attended the St. Ignatius Girls High School in Guntur. The majority of instruction was in our native language, Telugu, and English was our second language. Our spare time was often taken up with service activities focused on the needy. Although my studies included a master's in language arts with a music minor, I never lost my deep pull and yearning toward a godly path.

Typical of many Indian households, arranged marriages were prevalent in mine, too. I remember my parents asking me to be open and mentally prepared to meet families of potential grooms. Many times I went through uneasy scenarios of meeting an entire family---all the while not knowing whether or not I would be accepted. It didn't take many of these before I became completely turned off; some of these educated people treated me disrespectfully. Soon I stopped caring to meet any of the boys from these families, as they did not exhibit any independence or self-confidence. Their parents also approached us for a dowry, either directly or indirectly. The whole experience left me with a sick feeling---and I grew to prefer going to an ashram environment in order to lead a spiritual life without the encumbrance of marriage. Within a few days thereafter, our guru called my parents and me for a private audience. He spoke to me with great love and compassion, indicating that he was aware of my thoughts about remaining unmarried. He said that staying single was not suitable for my path. He then assured me that he himself was going to introduce me to the right person, who would share my interest in spirituality. He promised a man with good character and a service-oriented nature. My faith allowed me to say yes to our revered guru right away.

Within a couple of weeks, Sai Baba introduced me to Shyam Kanagala, who exhibited each trait, as promised. He always went out of his way to help people, and he preferred to do things without recognition. Shyam's parents also were longtime followers of our guru. Our marriage took place in the sacred presence of our beloved guru and even was solemnized by him. The year was 1988.

Coming from similar spiritual backgrounds in India, we were always surrounded by like-minded people. Above all, we had the rare privilege of spending a considerable amount of time learning spiritual teachings directly in the presence of our guru. He guided us with timely advice and encouraged us to practice human values: truth, righteousness (right way of living), love, peace, and nonviolence under all circumstances in our day-to-day life. He said that the constant practice of these virtues would lead us to find the ultimate purpose of this human life. Understanding and living these teachings helped us to experience the joy within and around us. It was a constant celebration of life. We saw firsthand the results of experiencing the unconditional love inherent in all of us---it spontaneously emanated all around.

For six years we lived in Bengaluru, the capital of the southern Indian state of Karnataka. We were about an hour's drive from our guru's ashram in Brindavan and about three hours from his main ashram at Puttaparthi, which is a district in the state of Andhra Pradesh. From this location, we could run to either ashram to be in his presence every now and then. We had a lovely home with a beautiful garden. Our older son, Nirupam, was born in 1990, bringing more love and laughter into the family. Shyam earned two master's degrees, one from the Indian Institute of Technology (IIT) in Chennai, India, and the other from ENSICA (École Nationale Supérieure d'Ingénieurs de Constructions Aéronautiques) at Toulouse, France. He landed a very good job working with helicopters in a large aeronautical firm, where his work was of national importance. My life revolved around taking care of the family, doing voluntary work, and attending to the constant flow of guests. Life was beautiful. Then everything we knew changed.

Change Unfolds

In 1994, our family moved to the United States---to Texas, in particular---when my husband got an opportunity to pursue further studies in computer science. Despite my master's degree, for some time I was not able to work or return to university because of my immigration status. In fact, without appropriate visas, neither of us could even think of applying for decent jobs. Suddenly, our fun and hectic lifestyle---the comfortable social position, job, and title we had become accustomed to---came to a complete stop. Neither our status in India nor our professional abilities provided currency in the United States. I felt incapacitated. For several months I had to confine myself to my apartment, during which time I felt that I was forgetting what I had learned.

Before moving, we had been aware of some challenges we might encounter during our transition from a comfortable, well-protected professional lifestyle---where pretty much everything was taken care of---to a student status in a totally different environment. We had experienced a small taste in 1991--92, when Shyam had stayed in France for eighteen long months, at ENSICA. Although on that occasion Nirupam and I had stayed with my parents and grandparents, Shyam had been studying. He missed us, and especially some of Nirupam's early developments. So this time, we agreed that Shyam should not forgo seeing our son reach his milestones; and we were determined to face the consequences of the choices we made. Whether it was rough or smooth, we would not shirk but would experience it head-on. Still, the reality was very tough to accept and live through. We had no choice but to cope, since moving back to India under