Turkeys and Tall Tales

By Clarence T. Hellums

In this his first book, the author teaches lessons on turkey hunting as he relates to the reader a series of funny stories about encounters he has had over the years while hunting turkeys with dear friends and colleagues. Embedded within the TALES are lessons and tips that hopefully will make the reader more successful at turkey hunting and cause them to laugh at the ridiculous scenarios that can and do happen in the turkey woods.

Hazards like snakes, bears, fires and barbed wire fences are discussed in the stories to make personal safety something the hunter should always consider.

Practical, helpful tips to make a turkey hunter more successful are scattered throughout and in a section at the end. The central theme of the book is friendships and the love of the wild turkey.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Oct 1, 2013
• ISBN: 9781491817377

Clarence T. Hellums

The author has hunted for over 50 years and practiced law in Tuscaloosa and Centreville, Alabama for over 40 years. Turkey hunting has been the author’s passion for over 35 years. He has recorded seven grand slams, five royal slams, and two world slams with the National Wild Turkey Federation. Ted Hellums has hunted turkeys in seven states and Mexico and written several magazine articles. He is the maker of wing bone, box and friction turkey calls. In 2004 the Federal Land Bank Magazine did a story on the author and said this: “Tales of the Hunt”--Ted Hellums has loved hunting since his first hunting trip when he and a friend packed a lunch and his friends mother dropped them off in the country to hunt squirrels. When he begins to talk about past hunts, a youthful spark of wanderlust comes into his eyes, and a broad grin breaks across his face” People are mesmerized by his TALES of the Hunt and cannot help but laugh at the funny things he relates.

Book preview

© 2013 Clarence T. Hellums. All Rights Reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,

or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 09/28/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4918-1736-0 (sc)

978-1-4918-1737-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013916649

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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Contents

PREFACE

FOREWORD

TURKEYS AND TALL TALES

AN INTRODUCTION

I. WHERE IS HE?

II. THE SWITCH

III. CHAIN SAWS, LOG DECK, TRUCK DOORS AND REDMAN

IV. THE EASY YELPER

V. SNAKES

VI. KEEPER AND PEEPER

VII. DECOYS

VIII. BEARS

IX. GEAR

X. BEWARE OF BARBED WIRE FENCES

XI. TAKING IT EASY IN THE AFTERNOON

XII. DEAD BIRD

XIII. MISSES

XIV. JUVENILE COURT

XV. TURKEY’S DO FUNNY THINGS

XVI. YOUNG HUNTERS

XVII. OLD HUNTERS

XVIII. CONTROL BURNS

XIV. SEEKING SLAM

TIPS AND TACTICS ON BEING SUCESSFUL IN A NO GOBBLE YEAR

THE LAST LESSON

TURKEYS

and

TALL TALES

PREFACE

I began turkey hunting in the spring of 1979. A deer hunting diary, which was given to me as a Christmas present in December 1978, went with no entries during the deer season. That next spring I began having so much fun turkey hunting that I just had to write about each days hunt. In this diary was written anything worthwhile and I continued this routine for many years. Additional volumes were started when space ran out in the old ones. They now provide a source of information for this writing.

I strongly encourage all turkey hunters to keep such a journal for their future reflections, storytelling, and reference guide by including what calls, tactics, equipment and type of movement worked or did not work and a judgment as to why.

On a number of occasions, I was writing in the journal as things began to happen. This was the case in Carlos Cano Cruz, Mexico, while hunting for ocellated turkeys or PAVO as the locals call turkeys. Once you start putting in the journal who you were with, the what, where, when, and how and the other details like what number it was or how much it weighed or spur length will inevitably find their place but what will really matter as you get older is the who with.

Every hunt has a lesson to teach but few of us can recognize the lesson or remember those lessons from year to year without having them written down and later read and studied. I would like to offer special thanks to the people mentioned herein because they have all been a part of my life, a very special part. There are many other special friends that I have turkey hunted with who I am sure are glad their names are not mentioned in the TALES. Wayne Fears first gave me the idea of going after the grand slam and provided the contact with Craig Winter at the Nail Ranch in Albany, Texas, where for over ten years I hunted Rio Grandes and spent many wonderful days with friends.

Thanks to dear friends like Mark Lamp and Weary Young in Burke, South Dakota, Crystal Rathbun who lived near Devils Tower, Wyoming, prior to her untimely death in a car wreck and David Jones in Welaka, Florida for allowing me to hunt again and again on their lands.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned in these 70 plus years is that happiness is best measured by the number of friends you have, and I have been blessed to have many, some who go back to elementary school or high school.

The quality and character of ones friends is of utmost importance and I hope I do not lose any by the stories related herein. Names have not been changed to protect the (innocent?). This writing is about friendships and lasting bonds created because of love of the wild turkey and for that reason, I have mentioned many names.

There are some lessons found here, if one can sift through the shaft. I hope that one of my friends, grandchildren or great grandchildren, if I have any, and you will glean some of what they are. With the exception of the Florida turkey a photo is shown here of each species of turkey to give the reader some idea of the beauty of each.

FOREWORD

By Dr. Jerre White

Neighbor, patient, attorney, grandfather of five, hunting companion –FRIEND, that’s Ted Hellums, who as a teenager was called Butch. When I moved to Tuscaloosa with my family we lived next door to the Hellums who blessed my family by being fantastic surrogate grandparents to my children who will never forget Pops and Mama teacher.

After returning home from the Army Ted was as busy in the world of law and business as I was in medicine which kept us apart for several years but his turkey hunting activities and accomplishments soon brought us together as I too loved turkey hunting.

Ted is an avid turkey hunter who pursues his quarry with great intensity and possesses an uncanny sense of woodsmanship and which more often than not produces excellent results. He listens carefully and thoughtfully to the calls turkeys are making and replicates them with ease. He always seems to know when to move and when to sit still. He knows how far he can shoot and judges distance as well as anyone I have hunted with.

Together we have chased gobblers in Texas, Florida, Kansas and South Dakota and Alabama. Were it not for Ted’s encouragement I would never have completed a Grand Slam which gave opportunity to enjoy the beauty of God’s earth, meet wonderful people and provide exercise. When Mexico beckoned us to seek the World Slam he made the trips happen choosing the right place and outfitter.

Each trip and hunt has been recorded in his journal which contains more funny stories than this book would hold. I know this because they were read to me as we would travel home. I have it on good authority (his guide) that he came close to missing out on a World Slam because he was writing in the journal when he should have been looking.

My FRIEND is an inspiration to young hunters, a caring guide for old hunters but above all a great storyteller. Enjoy the book.

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AN INTRODUCTION

For years after leaving the U. S. Army as a combat infantry officer, I had no use for a gun or rifle and pretty much had forgotten all my training at Ft. Benning, GA. except for the occasional reading of the officer’s guide. My subsequent years in the Army Reserve were with the 75th Field Hospital unit under the command of Col. Rufus Bealle. He had commanded the 82nd Artillery Battalion unit I was assigned to before going to (IOBC) infantry officer basic course. Why I chose to become an infantry officer instead of an artillery officer is still a mystery to me and it is a question I have repeatedly asked myself these last 50 years, with no clear answer. Not from the recesses from my mind nor the paper work I found stored in an old army footlocker that remained virtually untouched for 35 years.

After leaving the active duty in 1967 my concentrations were on my sweet wife, our two children, and the practice of law. They occupied most all my time. On the rare occasions I had time and chose to be away from them, golf was what interested me the most. Then, as was inevitable, my son began to grow up. As he grew, he first wanted to do what Daddy did: play golf, basketball, baseball and soccer. About age 10, it happened. His friends and the older boys he hung out with began hunting with their fathers and going to their hunting clubs. My son kept on wanting to shoot a gun and hunt too.

Finally, in 1978 I took my dad’s Browning Sweet 16 gauge shotgun and some #9 birdshot and went to some acreage I had in Northern Tuscaloosa County to let him shoot it. I placed him behind a fallen log and propped the gun across the top. After fully explaining how to put the gun into your shoulder and keep your chin tucked close to the stock and observing that he had it down about as good as he was able to do it, I told him to pull the trigger when he was ready.

Many of you fathers have gone through this experience and know what happened next. The recoil knocked him down and he cried, and then got mad at me. The 35-mile ride home was unpleasant. What happened was my fault at least that is what my son thought. It did not help that I had laughed once it was all over.

I tell all this because at that point it seemed that guns and hunting were not going to be an issue in our family in the future any more than they had been in the recent past. All about guns was forgotten for the rest of the of the year but the following year he became convinced, after talking to his hunting buddy friends that all he needed was a small caliber rifle like a 223 or 243 and he could handle it. He was positive that he could deer hunt if he had such a gun. Would I just get him one?

You can only deal with the begging so long before you give in as a parent and in the fall of 1979, I found myself in the Army Barn in Centreville, Alabama, talking to the owner, Willard Schultz, about a gun for my son to shoot. Mind you now, I had never deer hunted with a rife, only a shotgun, and if it were not an M-1, M-14, or M-16 I had not fired it, let alone known anything about it except for what I had been told: that the 243 fired a round was smaller than a 308 but still similar to the NATO round used in the M-16. Well Willard made me a good deal, (I always liked good deals), and that night I came home with a Winchester 243 that was used but a new Bushnell 3x10 Sportview scope had been added.

If you think the tongue-lashing and crying, I heard from my son a year ago was bad you should have been a fly on the wall at my house once the rifle