Don't "Bleeping" Do That: How Not to Manage a Small Business

By Sarel Gous

This is a Not To book and not a How To book. The book is full of dark humour and describes the pitfalls that small business owners should avoid while building a business. It discusses the interesting relationships between the owner and his family, employees, customers, suppliers, and the taxman. The owners character and personality traits are discussed extensively.
Some of the topics are:
Pillow talk. Dont get ideas !
Stubbornness. Dammit man!
Innovators. Stow them away
Consultants. Virgins giving sex classes
Loneliness. Get a good friend
Two business plans. I must be mad
The security of yourwife. Do you want food tonight?

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: May 31, 2013
• ISBN: 9781481796743

Sarel Gous

Sarel Gous was born in and still lives in South Africa. He holds a BSc (electrical engineering, cum laude), as well as an MBA from the University of Pretoria. He worked for government departments and corporate organisations until 1982, when he started his first company; he has worked for himself ever since. In 1996, after a severe car accident, he sold the lucrative companies he had and closed down the less successful ones. He then became a consultant to small business owners. Ever since then, small businesses have become his passion. He has travelled extensively overseas to investigate small business development in various countries. He is also an avid reader of books on small business development, relationships, philosophy, religions of the world, and economic development. He is a keen observer and storyteller.

Book preview

DON’T BLEEPING DO THAT

How NOT to Manage a Small Business

Sarel Gous

Starting your own business is like getting married.

The first three years are the most difficult;

thereafter it is only hell—unless you work on it.

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AuthorHouse™ UK Ltd.

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403 USA

www.authorhouse.co.uk

Phone: [phone]

© 2013, 2014 Sarel Gous. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 01/06/2014

ISBN: 978-1-4817-9673-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4817-9674-3 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

How to Use This Book

Acknowledgements

Introduction

I - You. The Small Business Owner

Allowing Money to Control You

Don’t Lie—Ever!

Don’t Fret

Don’t Take Any Book You Read as Gospel

Don’t Fear

Don’t Just Talk—Listen!

Don’t Have Any Regrets

Flirting

Health

‘I’ Specialist

Loneliness

Promises

The Poison of Bitterness

Profile of an Entrepreneur

Rewarding Yourself

Sex

Stubbornness

Working Long Hours

Working from Home

You Think You Are a Fighter Pilot

II - Family and friends

Influence of your Spouse

High-Maintenance Wives

Busybody Wives

Pillow Talk

The Security of Your Wife

Growing Out of Your Wife

You and Your Children

Distinguish between Friends and Pals

III - The Company

Beware of the Planning Trap

Bribes

Building That Building

Business Partners

Coyotes

Decisions

Delegation

Dipping Your Pen in the Company’s Ink Pot

Diversification

Don’t Confuse Cash in the Bank with Profits

Don’t Try and Trade Your Company Out of Shit

Employing Family Members

Employing Personnel in a Hurry

Expensive Cars

Innovators

Motivation

Mutual Admiration Meetings

Prepare for Growth

Screwing Your Employees

The Business Interferes with Your Personal Life

Two Business Plans

IV - Company Business Partners

Beware of the Corporate World

Borrowing Money

Consultants

Customers

Suppliers

The Tax Man

Post-Mortem

I was looking for the answer for many years. I read one book and thought that it must be the answer. I read another book and thought, ‘Okay, now I have the answer.’ I read through many books. I had many interviews with small business owners, looking for the answer.

Now I realize that I do not know what the question is!

This book is dedicated to all the small business owners in the world that bust their… . backs to survive and make a company successful.

HOW TO USE THIS BOOK

This book is divided into four sections: You, Family and Friends, The Company, and Company Business Partners. All sections consist of topics in alphabetical order for ease of reference, with the exception of family and friends; those are not in alphabetical order to allow for continuous flow in reading. Each topic starts on a new page.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

To Cecil Gericke, who nagged me for years to write this book, gave valuable input and introduced me to Writers Write. To Nick Paige, who really started the spark. To Ulrike Hill, for mentoring me; thank you. To my sons, Hugo and Willem, who supported me in this mad venture. This book would have never seen the light without your support and motivation.

INTRODUCTION

Starting your own business is like getting married. The first three years are the most difficult; thereafter it is only hell. Don’t take this too seriously!

You start your company after borrowing money from family, friends, and fools. You are full of energy and passion, and you can vividly see in your mind how this company will be listed on the stock exchange in an initial public offering (IPO) someday in the future. You work very hard and long hours. The company grows so much that you have to employ new people to assist you. This is where the ‘fun’ starts!

You don’t want to hear some of the things I am now going to tell you. It hurts. Nobody wants to be hurt. You will find that there is nothing new about what I am saying; you knew it all the time. Yet you keep on falling into the same traps. This is why preachers keep their jobs: they have to repeat everything over a lifetime. Everybody hears, but nobody listens.

You may find that some of the things I say are outrageous or outright controversial. If what you say is not controversial, then you have nothing to say. You make no contribution and maintain the status quo. I tried to avoid giving advice to small business owners—I just wanted to make them aware of all the pitfalls. I guess I did not succeed. The advice that I did give was based on my experience and interaction with small business owners. In some instances I did not give advice because I would have been out of my depth. This is supposed to be a ‘Not To’ book and not a ‘How To’ book.

Female owners of small businesses may feel that they were short-changed because this book is for men, and it is written by a man. That is correct in a sense. I am a man who does not understand women. Someone once said, ‘Men should not try and understand women. They must only love them.’ I would suggest that women who read this book must place themselves in the shoes of the men I describe. Everything will become clear; the same principles apply.

This book is more about ethics and relationships. It is not so much about hardcore issues that you could sort out with logic and reasoning. Hundreds of books have been written on hardcore issues. The things I say do not pertain to a particular culture or country. The topics I address happen in small businesses all over the world.

Some of the expressions I use are not my own; I have heard them over a lifetime from different people. I apologise if I have stolen anybody’s thunder!

I hated hearing any sentence starting with don’t when I was a child, because it was so negative and cramped my style. I was rebellious. Now I end up writing a whole book about don’t. I could have made it a positive book. People like positive things and do not like negative things. From a positive point of view, the title could have been: The Small Business Guide to Screwing Everybody. The headings would have been: ‘How to screw the tax man’, ‘How to flirt with female employees’, ‘How to screw your employees’, and ‘How to dip your pen in the company’s ink pot’. This would have been a highly instructional book. I think it would have been a bestseller!

This was not my intention. You will have to live with the don’t.

There is a Taoist saying: ‘Those who know, don’t say. Those who say, don’t know.’ Maybe I fall into the last category. You be the judge.

I

YOU. THE SMALL BUSINESS OWNER

Most of the pages in this book were dedicated to you. How you interact with your family, employees and other people. In my opinion the success or demise of your company is determined by your interpersonal relationship and not so much about your knowledge of business.

Have you ever asked yourself the question, ‘Who am I?’I want you to think about this carefully. Who are you really?

You may say, ‘I am Peter Smith; a very well qualified person with extensive experience. An amicable person who performs excellent in my job’

Is that really you?

I want you to do a little exercise. Try and get out of yourself and look at yourself from the viewpoint of another person. I know it’s not easy but give it a go in any case. What do you observe around you? What are you thinking right now? What emotion is predominant in you now? Do you like what you see? I want you to observe yourself. Go back to yesterday. Recall your how you acted in situations with your family and employees. Try and remember every detail. Were you angry with a particular person and how did you show it? What were you thinking at the time? Are you now happy with what you said? You are most likely not. You would have handled the situation differently now if you had another chance. Ask yourself what emotion you experienced at the time. Why were you angry? Was your acumen in question and you did not like it; or was it the fear that you would be viewed as not assertive enough? Could all your interpersonal relations be traced back to love and fear?

I think that what we are is a result of influences during our childhood days; the interaction we had with our parents and teachers; the friends we had and the interaction with other people while we grew up. We were programmed by the circumstances in which we grew up. This is why we act or react as we do today. It could be good programming or it could be bad.

The following section is about the pitfalls that lie ahead of a small business owner. I want you to take note. Observe yourself every day and be aware of your emotions when you interact with other people. This is the ultimate wisdom that will make your company successful. It is all in you and nobody else.

ALLOWING MONEY TO CONTROL YOU

Money makes you ‘free’, but at a cost. Never allow it to control you, because you will become its slave.

It is always a shock to