My Caged Parakeet

By M.A. Khan

This romantic novel deals with a true-life dilemma faced by an Indian boy and a girl who have been in love with each other since childhood. Their lives complexities deal with historical, cultural, traditional, and family circumstances while growing up in an urban environment in India. It illustrates natural instincts that bloom into pristine love unintentionally, showing that love is as natural as an innocent bud blooming into a flower.

Life does not handle love gently and presents several challenges. The day-to-day problems and concerns make it hard to make decisions. As the girl matures, restrictions related to customs, seclusion, and traditions provide a veiled threat to the survival of their romance. The struggles are explicitly explained with unusual family circumstances showing life in India.

Arranged marriages, traditional requirements, and customs come into picture at every juncture. In spite of all restrictions, love has the strength to withstand adverse circumstances and devises its course like a river flowing between rocks. The way the two communicatebeing segregated while living close to each othershows the latent power of love. But the ensuing stress, unexpected challenges, and unforeseen circumstances make life difficult for both lovers to an unbearable extent.

The struggle of the young boy to balance love and tough financial circumstances, along with his desire to study in the United States, are presented in extraordinary details. Life of the student coming to the United States during earlier days and surviving amid emotional challenges faced so far away from home are described showing all painful circumstances. The desire to fulfill a lifelong dream presents unique insurmountable problems for both lovers. The emotional sacrifices made by both are tremendous and exemplary.

Finally, life takes its own turns and decides on its own terms.

• Language: English
• Publisher: LifeRich Publishing
• Release date: Dec 10, 2013
• ISBN: 9781489700933

M.A. Khan

M. A. KHAN hails from India and currently resides in the United States. He has published several books and articles primarily in academic areas. He has travelled extensively in most states in India, observing and recording historical, cultural, and traditional issues that impact the day-to-day lives of ordinary individuals.

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

Growing Up In India

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YEAR 1950

GROWING UP IN INDIA WAS as exciting as the country itself. What you experience sticks with you like a dream that never ends. The culture of the country blends with individuals and molds their entire life forever – from way of thinking to way of living. Life becomes romantic, tragic, magical, surprising, mystical, and contradictory, all at the same time. Indians love their country as much as they hate it. In fact, it seems like the country gets into people’s genes passing from generation to generation. Thus traditions, beliefs, affections, myths, superstitions, and rivalries continue for centuries. Traditions become entangled with circumstances and circumstances become lasting memories. Miniscule and intangible thoughts such as the smell of the earth after rain- come back unexpectedly with all memories associated with it and last until they drop as tears from the dried eyes. The lone dying tree in backyard, the drying water pond in the middle of the street, and aging mud houses, all suddenly become un-erasable part of the memories. Walking long distances in rain while going to school become nostalgic. Such incidences get etched in memories and remain there forever. This is the land where numerous romances have been slowly stifled to death but it seems as if their souls linger infinitely. This story is stark reminder of all such circumstances some of which suffocate within hearts and never come out. Unbelievable as it may sound, it is a factual story that portrays one of the many such hearts that longed for each other and ends up bleeding forever. Hearts that beat and bleed for each other but the world never want them to be together. Every effort is done to keep them away from each other. I have to pen this story not to get your sympathy but to understand that there are many such relationships that never see the light of the day, succumb slowly and are left to die in the darkness of customs, family honor, and traditions.

It was in this India — in a princely state of Hyderabad that I grew up in a rather semi-conservative family — which was rather more conservative on the religious side but also very open minded when it came to adjusting the way of life. My father was working for government at a fairly high level position but had taken retirement when I was only six years old. Our family was well to do in comparison to the prevalent Indian standards at that time. That was the time when India had freshly gained independence from British and soon after the assassination of Mahatma Gandhi, the father of the nation. We were hardly aware as to what was going on or what independence meant. We were six siblings within our family, which was an average family size in India at that time. I had two brothers and three sisters. Two of my sisters were older than me, one brother was older and one younger than me. I was in the middle with one brother older and one younger than me.

The house I grew up was located in a suburban area of the city of Hyderabad. The city itself had a romantic touch to it with beautiful exotic buildings, parks and attractions. The culture, traditions, food, and even the air that one would breathe had the essence of the royal traditions, which were rapidly losing their glamour since the government had changed from royalty to the so-called democracy. The remnant of the princely state of Hyderabad was very much evident almost at every corner of the city. Our family also was very much integrated into the culture although our ancestors migrated from the northern part of India.

There was complete dependence on elders in our family and it was a very carefree living, where children did not worry about almost anything in life. Being at that small age I had very little to do other than to play, eat and sleep. It was one of the most wonderful life periods that would never come back except in memories and pleasant dreams. My parents were particular about providing good education to all their children and so one day I was dressed up to go to school. The school was a Catholic missionary school where the education was all in English. I must be between four and five years of age and I was scared to death going to school and facing a teacher who was more authoritative than friendly. I was admitted into kindergarten class which had very cute-looking baby chairs and chalk board with multi-colored chalks; both considered class room luxuries, which was not possible in other schools within the city. I still remember that first day in class. For me it was a fascinating experience, although I felt extremely homesick on the first day of school. I cried softly when my father left me at school, still trying to hide my tears from classmates and scared that teacher might get upset at me. I took strength from other kids who were crying out loud continuously.

With time I adjusted myself to the daily routine, however, the best time of the day was when I returned from school in the evenings and was free to play around. Our house had a mini-garden with flowers and colored leaves almost at any time of the year. The tropical climatic conditions helped in keeping our garden colorful at all times. Once we reach home we would throw our school bags, have some tea and then go out to play until dark. We had very limited number of friends and confined ourselves to gates within a large compound in front of our house. Our house was a large sized duplex with very nice architecture with almost perfect symmetry in all respect. For us the house was like a mansion, with servant quarters on the outside, where an army of servants lived with families — varying in ages from newborn to very old ones all living in those quarters. They all were very faithful and served our family faithfully and responsibly. In fact we respected some of them as much as we did our parents. We all were dependent on them for getting every sort of task done and in turn they depended on our family for their livelihood.

Although we lived in one half of the duplex, the other half was always available for rent. My parents had bad experience with tenants who rented that part of the duplex. As much as I remember, the past tenants were mostly older families with no children. Being children, we had very little, if any interaction with earlier tenants anyway. The most exciting time for us used to be when the house was vacant and we could play there and discover fruit trees which were within the premises of that part of the duplex. We would watch tenants either when they would come to our house for visit or when they were disappointed and at times had heated arguments with our family. It was interesting to watch how families argued with each other and still lived as landlord and tenants right next to each other. Some days things would be pleasant with exchanges of gifts (mainly food) and on other days with signs of utmost animosity, no communication, and bad feelings. I had very little to do with these exchanges and frankly did not like any member of the tenant families, maybe because there was no one among them who was even close to my age group. Moreover we were not allowed or expected to interfere in any matter, even if that would involve children.

Our house, which I will refer to as Golden Lily was filled with architectural designs and golden color, which were not very common for houses in those areas. For example, we had a room that was completely circular on our side of the duplex whereas a square room on the other side of the duplex. Exactly in the center we had six vertical two by eight feet high windows with horizontal iron panes, three on our side and three on the other side of the duplex. There was a solid brick wall in between separating these set of windows. These windows each had separate shutter doors which added to the decor by being a center of attraction. All structures were planned to provide architecturally attractive features to our entire house. These windows are central to this story and must be visualized to understand their significance in this narration. Each window had curtains vertically covering half of the window vertically. If one would stand close to the window from inside, they would be right behind the curtains. These curtains were made of cotton fabric and had colorful designs on them. Due to the cultural and religious restrictions women stayed behind these curtains and will peek through the curtains, if needed, by slightly moving the curtains to one side. However the restrictions did not allow women folks to often come close to the window curtains. It was only when male family members are away from home on errands that women would have liberty to get a short glance through the curtains. Thus one would either not notice if someone was behind the curtains or if one tries hard would be able to see one eye and part of the face of the person who is trying to take a peek from behind the curtain. There were beautiful trellises of flowering plants that provided a canopy that extended over the exterior shade portion at the top of these windows. This green flowery canopy like structure prevented sun and rain from coming through the windows. The primary reason that I am describing details of these windows is because behind these curtains were prisoned emotions and feelings that later became a part of my life and the very essence of this story. I can never forget the shadows and images that were behind these curtains, particularly during night time, whether in darkness or when lighted. We lived on the left side of the duplex and the right side was the one that was for rent. The windows on the tenant’s side of the duplex are the ones which I will refer in this story from time to time as the windows of my emotions, since for years the iron panes separated me from my loved one and there was one solid brick wall between houses that separated burning suffocated emotions and feelings of two innocent souls for several years.

As days passed, the tenants in the adjoining house became very uncooperative and did not get along well with our family. Most of the problems were minor but the buildup of feelings led to tremendous insurmountable problems. Their family life also was disintegrated with in-fighting — in other words, it can only be described as a mess. Finally they decided to leave and so the house next door was vacant. Although there were two separate entrance gates the duplex was within one compound surrounded by a nice solid walled fence. As children, we used to enjoy playing within the compound - going freely when the other house was vacant. My parents were looking for new tenants anxiously aiming for some good and sincere people since they had a very bad experience. As children, we were aloof from the family politics of selecting tenants and so were never allowed to voice our opinion even if we had one. At that age we did not even care about those things. We also did not have any advance information as to who was interested in renting or who will be the new tenants. We were happy to see the other part vacant and loved playing there with so much freedom. Our servants used to scare us with ghost stories since the house would be very lonely. So we would go there as a group during day time. Several days passed and the house was still vacant. The search for tenants seemed to be endless. Our job was to play and spend time in the vacant house during the day.

CHAPTER TWO

Monsoon Morning

ONE MONSOON MORNING WE SAW strange movements next door. We first were surprised, and then realized that new tenants were planning to move in the vacant portion of the duplex. We were unaware when the selection of new tenants took place or other details about them. The people who moved in had very little, if any, belongings with them and moved in quietly. They were very strange people, very strictly embedded into the rural culture of aristocratic state of Hyderabad. In fact we now realize that they were migrating from a nearby city since they were driven away by military action (referred to as Police action locally) of the Indian government soon after the partition of India into two countries – India and Pakistan. When British left they divided India into small regions and gave them the option of either remaining independent or join either India or Pakistan. By one account there were fifty two such regions that were ruled by small kings or Maharajas. Hyderabad was the largest of those regions (referred to as regiments by British). The city of Hyderabad and its romantic origin needs more description at this point. All regions were ruled by kings or princes, directly or indirectly under the British rule until the time of partition. Hyderabad was one of the biggest such regions. The rulers belonged to the Asif Jahi family, locally referred to as the Nizams. The seventh prince or Nizam worked very closely with the English, cooperating in different political and civil activities, gaining Britishers’ loyalty and favor. In fact, the last ruler was given the title Faithful Ally by the British for his loyalty. When Indian independence was announced, Hyderabad, which had a Muslim ruler wanted to remain independent. However, Indian army moved in and forcefully merged the state into India. This action is commonly referred in Hyderabad as the unfortunate Police Action. Unfortunate, since many families got dislocated, and hurt physically and morally. The one’s that suffered most were those who were associated with the Hyderabad army or freedom movements. In any case the police action brought literally the end of the royal governance of the largest state of Hyderabad. The traces of royalty lingered for quite some time and our childhood did see some of the remnant culture of the erstwhile rule in Hyderabad. One thing which we remember the most is the sounding of canons during special occasions of the royal family. In fact, the rumor was that every time a child is born to the erstwhile ruler the cannon will be fired. It was even rumored that by counting the number of loud bangs one can learn if the baby was a boy or a girl. So we all used to count the number of bangs whenever we would hear them. In fact, all children will come out of the house to count. The city had its long history with a lot of myths and stories, some recorded and most of it by passed along generations through the word of mouth. There were a lot of leftover aristocrats as well as their bureaucratic way of doing things, a sheer reminder of the remnants from the royal families. It was hard not to miss ubiquitous presence of royal traces such as special attire, accent, and other behavioral habits. Even for a long time there used to be escort cars and traffic jams whenever the erstwhile king would go out from his palace. The region had its own currency, postage stamps, and transportation for few years even after being annexed by Indian government. In general, people were happy and prosperous during the regime of Nizams. People of all religions coexisted peacefully, respecting each other’s religious and cultural values. Some descriptions are presented in italics to show how certain historical and cultural, sometimes romantic values impacted our lives and our way of thinking during that time. These anecdotes represent both historical facts and common myths, which directly or indirectly affected our upbringing.

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Hyderabad city (currently the capital of Andhra Pradesh, a state of India) was originally named Bhagyanagar, a city founded by Sultan Muhammad Quli of Qutub Shahi dynasty. He named the city after his beloved lady, Bhagmati in 1590. After she entered the royal household and embraced Islam her name was changed to Hydermahal and so the city got its second name, Hyderabad. Bhagmati who was taken as a wife by the ruler was reported as a Telugu (regional affiliation to the Telugu language speaking populace) courtesan from the village across the river Musi. Muhammad Quli, grandson of Sultan Quli of Hamdan of Turko-Iranian descent, was greatly fascinated by Hydermahal. Once Muhammad Quli came riding on a horseback to go across the river Musi to see his sweetheart. The river was swollen and overflowing making it difficult to cross. He crossed the river daring any consequences since he wanted to meet his love at any cost. Later he ordered a bridge to be built across the river which stands to this day since 1578 referred to as Purana pul (old bridge). Bhagmati had entered Quli’s life when he was a prince and their long-lasting romance was evident from a long list of legends. Whenever the queen of love moved, the sultan had a thousand horses in procession. In addition to being a ruler, Muhammad Quli Qutb Shah was a scholar and poet. His poems that expressed his love are still sung in many songs, especially during marriage parties. His literary contributions led partly to the development of Urdu language which emerged out of a combination of several languages combined with local dialects. His grandson, Abdullah Qutb Shah, was the seventh Sultan of Golconda. His favorite courtesan was Taramati. He constructed a mansion called Baradari with 12 doorways to allow cross ventilation, considered to be the most ingenious technique at the time. Abdullah Qutb Shah is believed to have enjoyed Taramati’s song even while sitting on the top of his fort referred to as the Golconda fort. Golconda fort was built on a mountain, surrounded by walls protecting the fortress. The remnants of the fort can still be seen and is a common city attraction for tourists. The entire army as well as part of the population resided within those confines of the fort. The king’s throne was on top of the mountain, overlooking the entire city. The fort was built in a unique architectural design. One of the aspects that is admired by tourist is that if one whisper s or clap at the entrance, it can be heard all the way to the top to the King’s throne located at a very high elevation almost a mile from the spot. When Taramati sang, her melodious voice would be carried from her residence by the breeze, reaching the prince’s ear at the fort, because of the acoustics model, built in the structure of Baradari as well as at the fort. It is also said that Taramati and her sister Premamati danced on ropes between the pavilion and the balcony of the fort. All rulers of the Qutb Shahi dynasty are buried about half a mile from the Golconda fort. The inadequacy of drinking water and frequent epidemics of plague and cholera persuaded Quli Qutub Shah to establish a new city with a square monument, Charminar (four minarets) at the center with four great roads fanning out on four cardinals. It served as a gateway to city with four roads leading to different sections of the city. Muhammad Quli Qutb Shah constructed the Charminar in 1591. Legend has it that Muhammad built the Charminar to commemorate the end of a plague epidemic. He is said to have prayed for the end of a devastating plague and vowed to build a mosque at the very place where he was praying. The epidemic ended soon afterwards and Muhammad Quli Qutb Shah ordered the construction of the mosque which stands on the upper level of the magnificent Charminar. The structure still stands in the midst of the old city and is also a historical attraction very commonly associated with the name of the city.

Hyderabad state was independent province and existed as a princely state since its establishment in 1591 by Mohammed Quli Qutb Shah, the fifth sultan of the Qutb Shahi dynasty. It offers a panorama of the past, with richly mixed cultural and historical tradition spanning over 400 years. The eighth Qutb Shahi ruler was Abul Hasan Qutb Shah, nicknamed as Tana Shah. His name was given by a Sufi saint meaning a child ruler. Tana Shah was known for his fragile built as well as the way of life. His throne was located on the top of the Golconda fort about a mile walk from the entrance, with winding steps leading to his throne. Legend has it that Tana Shah was so sensitive that even if he sees from the top of the fort a curd (yogurt) seller passing below on the street he would start sneezing!!. Tana Shah was the last Qutb Shahi king. It is also said that he was served grains of rice cooked to look like fresh jasmine flowers and to bathe in a fountain filled with rose water. He was the son-in-law of Abdullah Qutb Shah who received the sovereignty of the Mughal rule under Shah Jahan, the builder of famous Taj Mahal. This obligated the kingdom to pay taxes to the Mughal rulers. Refusal to pay taxes and accede to the Mughal supremacy led Mughal Emperor Aurangzeb (son of Shah Jahan) on a military campaign to reassert his rule on the Golconda fort and Qutb Shahi dynasty.

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Hyderabad’s fame, strategic location, legendary wealth and Golconda fort were also attraction for Aurangzeb, who was one of the last Mogul rulers of India. He came with his army and surrounded the Golconda fort. Since the fort was built on a mountain it was impossible for the army to enter the large walls and doors leading to the fort. The entrance was locked by heavy doors with projectiles which prevented elephants from breaking the door open. Tana Shah defended the fort for eight months but finally Aurangzeb succeeded in capturing the fort. There are several stories describing the conquest of the fort. One of the legend has it that it was one of the Sufi saint in Aurangzeb’s army that helped the conquest of the fort while others state it was due to the bribe given to the gate keeper. In 1687 Aurangzeb captured Golconda at the end of a longstanding and difficult siege. Aurangzeb was a pious Muslim ruler and had quite a few religious warriors in his army. As the Mogul Empire lost its grip on the region, Asaf Jah I proclaimed himself as the Nizam and established independent rule of the region referred to as Deccan. Hyderabad became the capital of his kingdom. Incidentally Nizam’s dynasty also lasted for seven generations. When India became independent it was ruled by 52 regional rulers, one of the largest one being Hyderabad. British India was divided into two main countries India and Pakistan. Each independent ruler was given the choice to either join India or Pakistan or remain independent. Forceful military action was taken to consolidate into India all rulers who did not submit easily. Hyderabad was also taken by force and had to join Indian union. Although Hyderabad started changing with new political situation, the royal traditions were still evident in the culture, lifestyles, and thinking of the inhabitants of those regions. The city of Hyderabad to this day has very unique traditions, food, customs, and dialect which are very different from other states in India. Traces of royalty are still evident from various customs and rituals followed by generation from the erstwhile state.

Growing up under those historical and cultural influences, it was impossible to avoid the traditions and the way we dressed, lived, and survived. The restrictions imposed on women folks were overwhelming. Women were not allowed to go out in public or even have their shadows visible to outsiders. Yet women participated in several activities and also took part in political events. There were also traditions and celebrations which became popular, many of which are still followed.

1955

Evidently the story of my life as well as others’ life was also embedded in a culture which had roots in unfathomed love and harmony. The new tenants finally moved in the other part of the duplex (I will refer from now as the house). So the patriarch of the tenant family who rented our house was very much involved in politics and had to run away from their hometown, Adilabad, when Indian government forces took control. I was still trying to figure out as to how many people were within their family. They hardly came out and there were at times when we could hear some noises. Finally, I did saw some children come out of the house, admirably looking outside with fascination as if they were finding freedom after a long time. For me the most exciting part was to note that they had three girls, two of them about my age and one older than me. Earlier tenants were always older couples. I was then about seven years old. Although I did not know and did not care to know how they were related to each other it was exciting to see children moving next door. It was with a lot of hesitation and shyness one day they became friendly with us, particularly with me. Actually it was me who was more ashamed to play with them; probably since I did not have any younger sisters, plus playing with girls was not a cherished idea at that time. We were also very scared of our parents since at that age they used to control our movements. With encouragement from our parents and seeing that the relationships are new and cordial among elders that I slowly became friendly with those girls. Also the outer areas of the duplex were fairly large for use as our playground. It was strange that neither my elder or younger brother had any interest in getting acquainted or friendly with them and were rarely interested in mixing with them. It was me who unintentionally got more closely acquainted with those three girls.

Two girls, Nergis and Mona were of same age but were not twins. The older one, Salma was almost five years older than the other two girls. It was later on that I came to know that Nergis and Mona were aunt and niece respectively, and surprisingly Nergis was six months younger than Mona. Although Salma was older, she used to play with us. Our plays were mainly running around, playing hide and seek, catching each other, and at times gossiping about our families. Monsoon season provided ample opportunities to use moist soil as drawing board for games, writing on mud and drawing whatever we felt like. The semi moist dirt provided a flexible canvas for drawing and erasing whatever we felt like. This was more interesting when the rainfall will be intermittent. We would come out quickly when the rain will stop draw something and then run back into shelter when rain will start again and wipe out all our masterpiece art work. Monsoon season always had romantic nostalgia in the entire region as witness by writings of many poets and scholars who have written volumes about the impact of this multicolor season with its special blessings only in tropical countries. One has to really experience the season in order to believe its emotional and romantic impact, particularly when the rain begins to moisten the parched summer earth.

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Monsoon season is caused by prevailing winds due to the thermal low over land mass within the tropics. This season comes after very hot summer starting from June and ending in September and brings rains sometimes continuously for days. The rain is a welcome phenomenon after hot summers and first few months are always awaited and welcomed. When it rains too much then people start disliking it. When the first droplets of water reach the scathed earth, there is this sweet smell which incites romantic feelings. Also, seeds sprout and plants start flowering making it a very delightful, fresh and clean environment. Of course, this is the most awaited season by farmers who depend solely on the moisture provided by rains. In villages swings are attached to large trees and many young/teenage boys and girls play out when it does not rain. There are also different kinds of insects that emerge, some good and others not so good. Some become collectable pets due to their adorable nature. A velvet beetle, which is a beetle with soft and red velvety outer skin also comes out during this season from red clay of the region and was a collectable pet by all of us. In addition, many tropical fruits become available which adds to the delicacy of the season. Poets have written numerous romantic songs and poems relating to this season, which is considered as the most romantic period of the year.

Our families became closer with each other with frequent exchanges of food on special festivals and family occasions. Strange as it may sound, it was not very customary to record date of births, although we celebrated birthdays randomly on the basis of memories of our parents and their parents. It was funny to note that some of us were lucky to have birthdays celebrated while other siblings did not. Actually we did not mind since birthday celebrations were not very popular during those times – although we celebrated numerous festivals and occasions. Actually the use of date of birth was seldom felt except when getting school admissions, since one had to be of a certain age to appear for the high school exams. Parents, usually fathers, will carefully calculate the years and provide a suitable date on admission applications, assuring that the kids will reach the required minimum age when they would appear for the final high school exams. Also, people used different calendars based on solar or lunar calculations which did not match well with Christian calendar. Lunar calendar is ten days short every year compared to the regular calendar, which adds to confusion. At times, parents have to remember at least two different dates. In any case the number of celebrations, get-togethers, numerous unannounced visitors, new clothes to wear, and different foods to eat made life extremely interesting for all us.

It was amazing that as children, we had a lot of disagreements but never fought aggressively and when we disagreed, we made up very quickly. Maybe the gender difference between me and the other two girls prevented from getting into too many unsolvable arguments. Our relationship was more innocent than cordial. We became free with each other to an extent that we felt free to walk in and out of our houses at will, although the girls visited my home more often than me going to their house. We will visit each other at almost any part of the day although never ate meals at each other’s homes unless on special dining feasts arranged by our families. However, we enjoyed eating fruits mostly guavas which grew in abundance on trees in both of our houses. We collected different flowers, divided territories, played hide and seek, had lots of fun. We would talk in general a lot about things that did not matter to us. Salma was very bossy being the oldest among our group and dictated what games we will play and eventually who would win those games. I was not very physically active and although participated did not enjoy outdoor games as much as the company. Our play times were mainly during evenings.

Time flew, days went by, seasons came and went, and we did not realize that we were growing up together. We were too young to even worry about age. I was going to my school, however, strange it may seem, the girls were not going to any school. Their parents had this strong feeling that education is not for girls. However, their family used to imitate almost everything my family did. Seeing that my sisters were both going to school, they admitted all three girls into a neighborhood girl school, where my sisters were also going. Thus our playtime was now confined to afterschool times and holidays.

CHAPTER THREE

Purdah – The Traditional Female Seclusion/Veil

SALMA, NERGIS, AND MONA ALL three were going to the same girls’ school. The school had Urdu language as the medium of instruction with no subjects in English language. It was a big difference to have these girls enrolled in school which was not customary in their family tradition; however they decided to do so since my sisters all went to schools. Co-educational schools were virtually non-existent at that time. Girls had to go to strictly girls’ school and boys to boys’ school. All three girls had to wear school uniform which used to be green shirt, green top and white pants. One of the most prevalent traditions at that time, particularly among Muslims in Hyderabad, was that females were required to observe purdah.

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Purdah or Pardaa (hijab – the traditional veil] is the practice followed in almost all of the Muslim countries, which is the practice of preventing women from being seen by men as well as to preserve the modesty of women folk. The actual translation of the word is screen or veil. This word is also used in Urdu for curtains. This takes two forms: physical segregation of the sexes, and the requirement for women to cover their bodies and conceal their physical shape/form. Physical segregation within a building can be done with walls, curtains, and screens. A woman’s withdrawal into purdah occurs at puberty and restricts her personal and social activities outside her home. This practice followed by Muslims is closely related to Hijab, which has roots in Islam, which requires that women should not come out in front of or be freely visible to males that are not related or eligible for marriage. Women are allowed to go out but they should cover themselves very well in public. In following this practice all Muslim houses are also covered with curtains on windows and doors. In fact many houses are built with grills and peek holes, so that women in purdah can watch outside without being noticed by outsiders. This is one of the important facts that should be taken into account while this story moves forward.

Nergis’s and Salma’s parents strictly observed this tradition of Purdah to an extent that their mother did not come in front of Mona’s dad, who was actually her son-in-law. Keeping with the tradition of female seclusion, many houses in our City were constructed considering privacy as well as requiring canopies or curtains to allow flow of air but still curtailing visibility to outsiders. This practice required windows in our houses as well as doors to be covered up with curtains, which were made of colored materials for decorative purposes. At that time this practice was very strictly followed and even when girls would go out, they had to use curtained rickshaws (three wheelers driven physically). Thus it was not very easy for men to see women, let alone have any contact with anyone of age among female gender. Rickshaws were the common mode of transportation, which were pulled manually by individuals who in most cases were skinny and weak men, earning their living by cycling rickshaws.

Rickshaws as a mode of human powered transport were used in Asian countries for a long period of time. They are still used in many countries although they are getting replaced fast by autos. In its original form a runner will draw a two wheeled cart which seated one or two persons. During earlier days manually pulled rickshaws were pulled by bicycle type of mechanism currently being replaced by motorized three wheelers.

Since purdah was to be strictly followed, the rickshaw puller was asked to turn his back or go behind the rickshaw when alighting, so the women folks were out of the view of the rickshaw puller. Even to cover up the short distance from the door to the rickshaw two people will hold a bed sheet so that no outsider will get a glance of the female passengers as they would be getting seated into the curtained rickshaws. It was funny to hear sometimes grumbling rickshaw pullers complaining that three people sat in the rickshaw while they contracted for two — he never saw how many got into the curtained rickshaw. Thus the rickshaw puller neither did not see the passengers nor had a glimpse of them. It would be a problem if any males dared try to get a glimpse of ladies while inside the rickshaws or when they are behind the curtains. Winking one eye was considered very impolite particularly when confronting females. It was considered as a solicitation for flirting. It was extremely rare to see girls moving along with boys or talking to each other, even in limited co-educational institutions.

One day Salma would not come out of the house to play with us. I waited for three days but she never came out. Much later I understood that she could not come out then since she had to start observing purdah after reaching puberty. (I did not have any clue as to what it was or what it entails at that time — we were not supposed to know or enquire about those things and such talks were considered morally prohibitive — even to be thinking on those lines). Since she had to observe purdah, all girls now had to go by rickshaws that were fully covered with curtains. That left Nergis and Mona to play with us and they would join me as soon as they came back from school. Also, some of Mona’s six siblings were growing up and coming of age to be able to play with us. So slowly we had a fairly large group of different ages among us to play in our compound. In all matters the elder children had the first choice. Mona was the oldest daughter and she had three brothers and three sisters. Her father was at home all the time since he did not work and solely depended on his father-in-law, who was Nergis’s father. It was considered, in Hyderabadi orthodox families, as a symbol of pride/social status, to have son-in-law stay with in-laws; not to seek any employment, and be supported by in-laws financially. According to this tradition, Mona’s dad did not work and stayed at home all the time. Nergis had a sister older than Salma who was married and Mona and other siblings were her children. Mona’s father occupied the room adjacent to the three curtained windows and would normally be sleeping or lying on a denim-strapped bed much of the time. Since he did not have any job to do (as mentioned earlier, it was considered bad to have sons-in-law take a job, once they were under the virtual protection shield of in-laws) he would spend his time resting. Obviously he was an obese, short statured individual. He would often peak outside of one of the three windows; most often to spit out the red colored pasty liquid, which results from chewing pan.

Pan or Paan is Indian name for rolled betel leaf that is wrapped over pieces of betelnut often garnished with lime (calcium), catechu, and spices and chewed as a stimulant, especially after a meal. It is chewed most frequently both by men and women, particularly older ones at different times during the day. It is chewed as a palate cleanser and a breath freshener. It is also commonly offered to guests and visitors as a sign of hospitality and as a sign of respect. It also has a symbolic value at ceremonies and cultural events in many parts of South Asia. It creates a special flavor in mouth and produces a red colored juice which has to be spitted out. Colors of this juice are commonly seen on streets, walls, and byways where people spit the saliva-mixed juice while chewing pan.

Children were not allowed to chew paan unless when given by parents on special occasions. It normally stains the teeth that may become permanent if the practice is continued for an extended period of time. It is a very common sight in India to see red colored stains on pavement and at times on walls due to the colored spittoons. In fact, at many places signs are placed requesting not to spit. People would often ignore such signs. Some patrons started putting posters of religious deities on walls thereby stopping