Fighting the Urge
By Caleb Ansley
()
About this ebook
They do everything they can to help each other, meeting others on the way; a strange boy called Garth with an unhealthy obsession with fire and the very source of all three of their problems: Two Men.
Related to Fighting the Urge
Related ebooks
Hanging Onto Hope Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Vampire's Life Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGrowing Pains 3: Awakening Tragedy: Growing Pains Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Blind Lily: A Gifted Series Companion Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHowling Dawn Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSun Burned Angel: You're Gonna Make Me Miss Summer Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFinding the Strength Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRevelation Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHer Name Was Emily Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsShe's The Boss Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAltered World: Beastly Manners Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Iowa Kid: The Murdered Family Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAngel Yearning: Avoidables, #2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAlpha's Last Minute Bride 1: A Paranormal Opposites Attract Hate to Love Werewolf Shifter Romance Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsForever Red Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAs Far as You Know Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Guard Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOnly A Phase, Ma: A Gallery of Oddities Story Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsConsultations of the Mind Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhat She Says Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEchthroi Shadow Wielder Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMeeting Angela Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Secret Love Song Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRenascence (Death Dealers MC #5): Death Dealers MC, #5 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSmashed (Suppressed Saga Book 4) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDegare' (Briarcliff Series, Book 3) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Cheerleader and the Billionaire 2: The Irish Lover: The Cheerleader and the Billionaire, #2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPigeon English Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHalloween Madness Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsScornful Sadie Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
General Fiction For You
The Covenant of Water (Oprah's Book Club) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Fellowship Of The Ring: Being the First Part of The Lord of the Rings Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Man Called Ove: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The City of Dreaming Books Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Silmarillion Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Ocean at the End of the Lane: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Life of Pi: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mythos Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Unhoneymooners Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Priory of the Orange Tree Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Iliad of Homer Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pet Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5It Ends with Us: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dante's Divine Comedy: Inferno Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Cloud Cuckoo Land: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Labyrinth of Dreaming Books: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything's Fine Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Canterbury Tales Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Rebecca Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Babel: Or the Necessity of Violence: An Arcane History of the Oxford Translators' Revolution Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Alchemist: A Graphic Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Beartown: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The King James Version of the Bible Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5You: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Other Black Girl: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Ulysses: With linked Table of Contents Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Outsider: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Meditations: Complete and Unabridged Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nettle & Bone Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for Fighting the Urge
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Fighting the Urge - Caleb Ansley
Copyright © 2012 by Caleb Ansley.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
To order additional copies of this book, contact:
Xlibris Corporation
1-800-618-969
www.Xlibris.com.au
Orders@Xlibris.com.au
501795
Contents
PROLOGUE
1. Taint
2. Garth
3. Taint
4. Garth
5. Taint
6. Taint
7. Alana
8. Taint
9. Garth
10. Taint
11. Alana
12. Taint
13. Alana
14. Taint
15. Alana
16. Garth.
17. Taint
18. Alana
19. Alana
20. Taint
21. Alana
22. Taint
23. Alana
24. Taint
25. Alana
26. Taint
27. Alana
28. Taint
29. Alana
30. Garth
EPILOGUE
NOTE OF THE AUTHOR
For Lotta, Bree, Jemma, Audrey, Steph, Selina and Stacey,
Without all of you I wouldn’t have my Alana. All of you are strong, beautiful people who will or already have got through terrible times and that is the most admirable trait in a person. For Emily, my first fan. For Tia, for reading and editing the first draft and discussing the plot with me.
501795-ANSL-layout.pdfIt’s better to be good than evil, but one achieves goodness at a tremendous cost
~ Stephen King
PROLOGUE
501795-ANSL-layout.pdfAlana
The man looked at me with eyes that showed no mercy as I walked home from school on a Thursday afternoon. He looked at me and asked, Need a ride home?
his voice kind and sweet, almost completely opposite to his facial expression. I stayed quiet and continued walking down the thin concrete path way that looked like it had been shattered by a massive foot. I shook my head from side to side but he persisted, It’s a hot day. Come on in? It’s aircon’d in my car.
No thank you.
I said politely. His face twisted into an even more hateful expression.
Get in! You need a ride!
He said. I was scared. I started crying and screaming.
Help!
I screamed and started running, dropping everything I was holding. I was just a seven years old. My entire mind was screaming at me RUN RUN RUN! He got out of his car and slammed the door behind him and he sprinted after me. He was beside me within seconds and he knocked my legs out from beneath me with one swift movement. I fell to the ground and scraped my palms and knees. Ow! Help!
I was completely balling my eyes out by that point. He watched me on the ground and laughed.
Stupid kid. Thinks they can escape me.
he muttered. He scooped me off the ground and walked me towards his car.
You’re so fat, little child. You’ll never be good enough for anyone. You should be glad I’m about to do this to you. I’m probably the best you’ll ever get.
He took his belt of and tightened it on my mouth to use it as a gag. He threw me in the boot of his car. I felt the car go down slightly as he sat in the driver’s seat and he put the key into the ignition and drove off to an unknown location.
He was the reason I tried to kill myself multiple times.
He was the reason I went bulimic.
He is the reason for every one of my problems.
Because of him I had to fight off urges that came all the time.
He would pay.
1
501795-ANSL-layout.pdfTaint
I looked at that first scar. Still there. It still held meaning; the day I started this mess. Starting Self-Harm was a terrible idea. But it got me through the day. I pulled down my shirt sleeve and entered the school gates. I was fifteen. I only had one friend. Her name was Alana. She had straight blonde hair down to her shoulders and the richest green eyes. She was just shorter than me.
Hey.
I said to her completely emotionlessly. That’s what we did. Hid our emotions. I used to pretend to be happy. I had more friends back then. Then when I started hiding my emotions, Alana was the only person who I could be myself around when we were alone. At school when I was with her I was emotionless. When it was just us I was full of emotions. But none of them were happiness or joy. I hadn’t felt either of those in years. Alana was the only one who knew about me. I was the only one who knew about her. She has been suffering from Depression and Bulimia since she was seven. She never told me what happened to her. She always said that she didn’t want to talk about it.
Hey
she replied. As far as I knew Alana had never self-harmed. But she had attempted suicide three times at that point. I always can see the sadness no one else notices in her eyes. I wish she would tell me what happened all those years ago. How are you?
She asked. I checked my surrounding before I answered. No one was within hearing range. Terrible. I relapsed after not cutting for two days. I think that’s a record.
Congratulations.
She smiled.
A smile. What a rare treat from her. I returned the smile. The smile was meaningless of course. I noticed that some of our surrounding people were staring at us so I made it look like we were having a good joke. People looked at us strangely because they had never seen either of us smile in ages. When they looked away a shiver went down my spine. I hate it when they look at me.
I said.
Me too.
Do you want to go to the shops on the weekend?
I asked. That was the code we used when we wanted to go out and buy blades from the hardware store. We weren’t of age but we certainly looked it so they never ask for ID.
Yeah sure.
She replied. She didn’t buy blades but she liked to look at other things in the hardware store like lengths of rope. The siren rang, indicating we had to get to class. Hundreds of people were clogging up the path ways. I didn’t see the raised piece concrete stick out of the ground at a diagonal from the rest of the path. I tripped, my sleeve got caught at the wrist on a nail sticking out of the fence and it was lifted all the way up to the top of my fore arm. They all looked at my wrist. The scars, the cuts, the scabs, all revealed. I quickly pulled up my sleeve but it was too late. They had already seen.
Emo!
one said.
Go cry Emo kid!
another yelled. Others joined in.
Emo Fag!
Cutting retard
Go die!
All of these words were such a trigger and caused huge urges to cut again. I got up but one of them pushed me down. And then one lifted me up by my arms and his friend pulled down my sleeves to show everyone.
Look at this stupid Emo faggot!
I could see Alana. She was looking at me from a distance. She was distressed. She couldn’t help me. The people lifting me were so big. I was helpless. Then he threw me to the ground and I hit my head and the last thing I heard was a smack as everything went black.
2
501795-ANSL-layout.pdfGarth
My parents were out getting mum checked out at the hospital. She was eight and a half months pregnant. They had me babysitting my six year old sister, Georgie, until they got back. We were making a fort out of chairs and sheets. I loved my sister. Although, sometimes she was extremely annoying.
Garth! You need to build quicker,
she demanded, Otherwise the aliens will get you and eat you up with chicken soup!
I made a mimic of a shocked face. I was such a funny, happy kid. Until about ten minutes after the fort building. We finished making the fort. Garth, can you make me fly again?
she asked. I smiled in return and she knew that