The Six Tasks of the Miserable Poke

By Heather Bravery

BOOK DESCRIPTION

ON

THE SIX TASKS OF THE MISERABLE POKE

BY

HEATHER BRAVERY


The story begins with two young royals Prince Poke and Princess Misery who have been betrothed since birth.
Prince Poke is a pampered and very spoiled mommys boy who is used to getting his own way and when this does not happen he throws tantrums and screams and cries. His favorite friend is his teddy bear.
Princess Misery on the other hand is a feisty young lass who longs for adventure and is known to speak her mind on every occasion, she knows little fear and is practiced in sword fighting.

The parents of the two young people are about to announce their engagement, when an evil Wizard appears to prevent this happening. Wizard Lostmywand is determined to have both the princess and the kingdom and when Princess Misery defies him; he sets both youngsters a task. They are to go out into the world and find him six items he needs for a major spell to be performed at the next Wizards convention.
These items are the Golden Egg from the Faraway bird who lives in Eggnog. The tooth from Mischief the fierce Dragon of Toofytown. Kelpberries from the Sea Monsters,
Blue Lizard from the witch Damnimgood, the spit from the Grannybug and finally the eye of Newt (but then everyone knows that Newts are extinct).

Along the way they meet the friendly Lukan the Leprechaun and Wizziboo a rather forgetful wizard, both of whom come to their aid. The four soon become fast friends and experience many wonderful adventures whilst trying to fulfill the tasks.

On the other hand there is a young and handsome prince named Sebastian who is on a quest to become a man in order to take the throne from his father. He meets some incredible characters like Elkhorn King of the Pixies and the beautiful Mystique Queen of the Fairies and assists them in taking down their arch rivals Marko the Malicious and Villainous Vile his henchman. Sebastian has to face many challenges but also learns some vital lessons about patience and tolerance.

The two groups meet up at the National Music Festival at Splishyden Cove and Sebastian and Misery become friends. Prince Poke meets a young lady named Bubbles, who is really Sebastians long lost sister, although her true identity is only revealed at the end.

These six people continue on the quest for the remaining items required and meet up with Wizard Smartass and his strange family.

Finally they all return to the castle to hand over the required items to Wizard Lostmywand only to find that he has taken over the entire kingdom and is intent on ruling forever.
A magic battle ensues involving Wizziboo, Witch Damnimgood and Wizard Lostmywand.

Finally the kingdom is returned to its rightful owners and there is a reunion with Sebastian, his parents and Bubbles his long lost sister.

A double wedding takes place and everyone is delighted with the outcome.
Although the two young couples are now thinking of taking a further holiday in a new strange land they have heard of called Mughaland.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Nov 11, 2010
• ISBN: 9781456812751

Heather Bravery

Heather Bravery was born in Johannesburg South Africa and is a Hypnotherapist and Natural Healer with more than 40 years experience in the this field. She has a grown up married daughter and two adult grandsons who were her inspiration for writing this story, based on tales she would tell the children when they were young. This is her first novel and has taken her 10 years to complete; hopefully it will be followed by a sequel.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

The Curse

Once upon a time in the far off land of WhereamI there lived a King called Slap me in the Face (Don’t you dare!) and his wife Queen Pain in the Butt. Both, affectionately known as King Slap and Queen Pain. They had a daughter called Misery. It is interesting to know how she got this name. When she was born she was traditionally supposed to take her Grandmother’s name from her mother’s side. Now when the official scribe (a new fellow on the job) arrived in the Kings office the morning after the birth of the princess, he had no idea what her name would be. So he enquired as to the name of the new arrival from the King. The King however, was not feeling very well, he had been up all night celebrating and had been dishing out much berry beer and wisteria wine to all the courtiers, having had he’s fair share of drinks as well. By morning his body was revolting, his head pounded and screamed and he just couldn’t think straight. There was no way he could remember his mother-in-laws first name no matter how hard he tried. So when asked by the scribe he just muttered it’s a mystery to me The scribe dutifully recorded this in the royal register as Princess Mystery-to-Me and toddled off to do the official paperwork.

Growing up—it was too much for the little toddler, so when asked her name, she always replied Mitherey and so she became known as Misery!

The princess was very beautiful and adventurous, but the King and Queen kept her at home as they feared that someone would steal her away from them, being their only child. This made Misery very unhappy and rather than learn her Princess duties, she would roam around the grounds learning all manner of things. She used to spend a great deal of time in the kitchens learning to cook. She took sword fighting lessons and archery lessons much to her mother’s dismay. Misery longed for adventure and would day dream about going out in the world and fighting dragons and such.

On the other side of these lands, there was a Kingdom known as Idontknow and it was ruled by a King called Kick me in the Butt (Don’t you dare!) and his wife was Queen Moaning Mini. They had a son named Prince Poke me in the Eye (don’t you dare). Their minions knew them by the names of King Kick, Queen Moaning and young prince Poke.

Prince Poke was the only son and as such was very spoiled indeed. Everything he wanted he got and if anyone dared say no to him, he would throw the most awful tantrums. He would scream and shout and throw himself on the ground kicking and screaming until eventually he got what he desired. His mother doted on him and thought he was the cutest thing in the world. His behaviour did not make him very popular with the palace staff nor with the courtiers who knew him. In fact most people avoided him as much as possible, but this never bothered the Prince as he could do what he liked to whoever he liked and no one was allowed to reprimand him at all.

Now these two kings decided that it would be a great idea to unite the two kingdoms of "WhereamI and Idontknow, by marrying off the Prince and Princess.

So a large ball was planned and everyone from both kingdoms was invited to celebrate the engagement of the two young people.

Princess Misery was not at all happy about this arrangement, but being a good and obedient daughter she would do as she was told, although she would far rather run off somewhere and have a great adventure.

Besides which she never really liked the Prince much anyway.

Now Prince Poke was terrified of the whole situation and the thought of leaving his darling mummy was too much for him to bear.

The moment he saw the Princess he started crying.

I want my Mummy he cried and ran off to find his mother.

Queen Moaning Mini dried his eyes and said "Now, now my little one, I know this is hard for you, but you must be a brave boy for the sake of the kingdom, besides mummy will always be close by.

In fact I will make it a rule that you live in our palace after the wedding then we shall always be together."

This seemed to calm Poke down a lot and he dried his eyes and was soon smiling again.

Now Queen Pain in the Butt watched all this palaver and was quite worried how her daughter would cope with the Prince. Princess Misery went over to her mother and asked Do I really have to marry that snivelling little wimp?

Queen Pain took Misery’s hand and said. "My child, your father is only doing what he believes is for the best. Besides, this way you will be close to us.

If you married a prince from a far off realm we would never see enough of you."

Misery thought about this for a moment. Very well mother, but I warn you I shall not put up with his miserable ways once we are married.

The moment came for King Slap to announce the engagement and forthcoming marriage of his daughter to the wimpy Prince. All of a sudden there was a strong gust of wind and a loud explosion and there in the middle of the ballroom stood the wicked Wizard Lostmywand. He was a mean old man and he didn’t want the two kingdoms to be united, as he was a greedy man and wanted both, all for himself and he also wanted the Princess for his bride. That would make him the richest and most important wizard in the entire world.

So! he boomed you thought you would get away with this marriage did you? Well now, I will not let this marriage take place, as the princess is mine! Now listen here, you big bully, said the Princess I would rather be dead than married to you, you’re old and ugly".

I see the girl has spirit, boomed the wizard, well in that case I will make you a proposition. The prince and princess must set out immediately to fulfil the following requests I have. This must be done in 30 days. Failure to fulfil this quest and I will turn the Prince into the ugliest frog in the world and the princess into a ghastly toad. There was a gasp of horror from everyone at this announcement.

The first thing they have to bring me is the golden egg from the Far Away bird that lives on the highest mountain in Eggnog. The next thing is a tooth from the fierce dragon Mischief who lives in the caves in Toofy Town The third thing is the tail of the Itsy Bitsy Blue Lizard who lives in the dungeons of the castle of the witch Damni’mgood. The fourth item is the Eye of a Newt (now everyone knows that Newts are extinct, so that would be impossible). The fifth thing I need is the juice of the Kelpberry which grows in the depths of the ocean that is guarded by the poisonous Sea Serpents and the last thing is the spit of the Grannybug"

Which can only be found in the land of the Monster Tree’s and Fierce Flowers. These things are to be brought to me by midnight on the 30th day, or else I will carry out my spell, which will last for a lifetime."

There was a stunned silence, as this terrible news sank in; everyone knew that it was impossible to fulfil these tasks in such a short time, so they were all doomed. The Prince started crying and calling for his mummy. But the Princess started laughing. This was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to her. O.K., Wizard, you will get your wish and we shall set off immediately. But be warned I intend to bring back everything you require. There was a gasp of shock from the guests.

Now the wizard needed these things for a very special spell he was planning to present at the Wizard Convention. He wanted to win the trophy for the Best Wizard in the land, more than anything else and he thought that by doing this spell he would be able to take over as Chief Wizard without any arguments. That would leave him free to do whatever he liked and no one would be able to stop him. Besides he really didn’t have the courage to go and get these things himself. So this was a good excuse to make the Prince and Princess go instead.

Queen Moaning was trying to calm the Prince down. Come now my darling, you have to be brave or else you will be a frog for the rest of your life. The Prince was not having any of it I don’t care, I don’t want to go, I want to stay with you. Let her go instead.

Queen Moaning took Misery aside. My child you are indeed very brave to want to do this, but perhaps there is another solution? You don’t want to marry Poke, so maybe marrying the wizard would be better?

Misery looked at her mother as if she had gone mad. Mother for goodness sake, the one is as bad as the other. Quite frankly I would rather not marry any of them, besides I have no desire to be a toad either. So I shall go on this quest with that imbecile.

So the adventure began. Both Kings and Queens were dreadfully unhappy by the prospect of losing their children, but they helped to pack all the provisions on the horses and stood and waved the couple good-bye. Queen Moaning Mini was weeping and ran after the prince to give him his favourite teddy bear, just in case he should get homesick. The princess was laughing and singing with joy, while the Prince was crying and wailing I want my mummy. As soon as they were out of sight of the castle the princess stopped her horse and dragged the screaming prince off his horse. She slapped him really hard Shut up, for goodness sake, you silly wimp. We are going to do this because I have no intention of becoming a ghastly toad, nor do I have any intention of marrying you. But if you don’t keep quiet I will feed you to the Far Away bird the moment we get there. This is hard enough as it is without you making such a noise. The prince got such a fright that he kept quiet and hugged his teddy bear instead. Next the princess went behind a tree and took off her dress and put on some breeches and a shirt which she had borrowed from a footman. When she came out of the trees, the prince screamed Why are you dressed like that, you look horrible? Well, I can’t go riding around in that huge dress it will get in the way and besides I don’t particularly like dresses if you must know." With that they rode off into the sunset.

They rode on all night and when morning came the prince started moaning why can’t we stop now, I don’t want to ride anymore and I am hungry. My mother would never treat me like this. The princess looked at him and said Oh for goodness sake stop moaning and act like a man, we have to get as far as we can. We will stop later, in the meantime here’s a bun that should keep you quiet. Around noon they stopped to rest awhile and have a snack, when all of a sudden they heard a tiny little voice. Hello strangers it said. Both the Prince and Princess looked around, but they couldn’t see anything. The voice came again, a little louder this time. I said Hello strangers! The Princess said Hello! Who are you and where are you, as I cannot see you! and with that there was a little puff of smoke, which gave the Prince such a fright that he jumped right out of his shoes and he started running down the track screaming I want to go home, I want my Mummy, there are monsters trying to eat me! There in front of the Princess stood a little Leprechaun all dressed in green and gold. My name is Lukan said the little Leprechaun and I come from around here. But who are you and what are you doing here? And who is THAT running away like he’s seen a ghost or something? Oh that! said the Princess Is supposed to be my future husband and companion. We are on a quest set by the Wizard Lostmywand. With that the Princess told the little dwarf the whole sad story about the quest they were on, and how much she disliked Prince Poke.

Lukan, thought long and hard about what the Princess had to say, and he stroked his beard in thought. Hmmmm said he This calls for some serious thought! You know I think you need to visit with a friend of mine, who I am sure will help you with your quest. I know for a fact that he dislikes Wizard Lostmywand. Who is this friend of yours? asked the Princess. Well, he’s a wizard himself, but a good one mind. His name is Wizziboo and a wonderfully good wizard he is at that. He lives not far from here so I’ll take you there and we can see what can be done to help you. Mind you perhaps it’ll help if you get your friend back first. The Princess went after the Prince and managed to calm him down enough to come and meet Lukan, who invited them both to stay in his house for the night and take supper with him.

The Prince was very frightened and insisted on having his teddy bear sleep with him. So the Princess tucked him into bed with his teddy bear, before getting into bed herself.

The next morning early they all set off to visit with Wizziboo. They travelled all morning through the forests, but every time there was a sound from insects or birds, the Prince would whimper and cry. This was getting on the Princess’s and Lukan’s nerves, so they told him they would leave him in the forest if he didn’t keep quiet. The Prince never made another sound until they arrived at Wizziboo’s house.

When they arrived, they found Wizziboo busy chasing a goat around the garden, and looking very distracted. Hey There Wizard Wizziboo, what are you DOING? asked Lukan. Well, you see that stupid goat just stole and ate one of my magic orbs and I want it back! said Wizziboo, not even noticing the visitors at first. Oh! Its you Lukan, and who are these people you brought with you?

"Let me introduce you, this is the Princess Misery and her companion the Prince Poke. He then went on to explain the whole story to Wizziboo.

Well now, you had best all come into the house and have a little drink of my Frizzy Frith, its good for quenching the thirst.

I must say though, that you both have most unfortunate names, especially you young man. The Prince didn’t answer, as he was too busy hiding behind the Princess.

Wizziboo busied himself with pouring his special drink for his visitors. It looked rather strange, as it was orange and green and bubbling. Here you go, have a sip of that and you will feel most refreshed. The Princess took her glass and hesitantly took a tiny sip. Lukan just drank it all down in one gulp and asked for more. The Prince refused to drink it, insisting that Wizziboo was trying to poison them all. Oh shut-up! said the Princess and drink it or I’ll make you! That is most unusual Wizard Wizziboo sir! What is in it? Oh now said Lukan. You shouldn’t go asking a question like that, as you may not like the answer. I myself just love the stuff, it makes me feel great!

Well, lets see now, what did I put in it this time? said Wizziboo scratching his head Oh! Yes, there’s a little orange rind, and a few cucumber sticks with some root of myrtle, a drop of gizzidygoo and a blob of whatshallicallit. I can’t remember the rest. But it is most refreshing."

Then Wizziboo waved his wand in the air and said Table set, and set it right, with sandwiches and Marmite. Humble Bumble Bumble Bee, and then pour a nice cup of tea. Sticks and spoons and the garden rake, will give us all a piece of cake. Before their very eyes the tea sandwiches and cake appeared. Wow that was a really neat trick commented Misery. Poke in the meantime was back hiding behind her and quivering in fear.

They all sat down and enjoyed the sandwiches, tea and cake. Misery had to coax Poke to eat. Oh for goodness sake eat, you keep complaining you’re hungry, well now there is food, so sit down and eat! Poke sat down next to her and tentatively began eating.

Now then, tell me again about this quest of yours, how did it begin and where are you going? The Princess once again told the whole story from beginning to end. When she had finished, the Prince was crying once more. I want to go home, I don’t like it here, and I want my Mummy! The Princess kicked him on the shin and pinched his arm. Ouch! That hurt, you’re a mean and nasty Princess and I don’t like you anymore. Oh do keep quiet Poke; I have had just about enough of you. We are in this together whether you like it or not. So you have to go through with it. Besides there is nothing to be frightened of said the princess, who was by now most annoyed with the prince.

"Hmmm! Now then, I know this Wizard Lostmywand very well; he is a miserable old thing and no sense of humour at all. His spells are normally quite good, although there are better than him out there, but none quite so nasty. Except of course for that witch Damni’mgood, now there is one who can be as mean as all get out if she so chooses, but generally she is a good sort, in fact really nice now I come to think of it. She is a good white witch.

I think it would be a great idea if I came with you on this journey. Seeing as dear old Lostmywand never said you couldn’t have any companions. What about you Lukan, will you join us on this journey? Lukan just smiled, he loved adventures with his old friend Wizziboo, besides he was thinking up all sorts of things to do to the prince. Of course, dear friend, I wouldn’t let you go without me. Oh no! said the princess We could not possibly impose on you like this, it is very dangerous out there and I would hate for anything to happen to the two of you." That remark started the prince off wailing again.

Nonsense, dear girl. You will need my skills and my potions if you ever hope to succeed in this quest. Besides I dislike that old wizard and would love to see him defeated. So no more arguments now, I have a million things to get ready. We will leave in an hour. Now, off you go and have a little fun while I get busy.

With that Wizziboo left them all sitting at the table and went off to get all his potions packed.

CHAPTER 2

The Golden Egg

A few hours later they set off once more on their journey, this time with Wizziboo and Lukan as companions. Pretty soon they came to the edge of the land of Eggnog. In the distance they could see the mountain, home of the Far Away Bird.

I think we will rest here for the night said Wizziboo, for we need to eat well and sleep well tonight, so that in the morning we can face that dreadful bird and get this part of the journey over with.

They set up camp and the Princess decided to cook the evening meal. The prince was whimpering and crying, this time quietly because he was frightened of the prospect of facing the bird.

They dined on stew and dumplings, which was very tasty. You make a very good cook, for a princess said Lukan. Who taught you to cook like that? I thought all princesses just sat around all day issuing orders to servants. The princess laughed and said Oh no, not this one at least. I always used to sneak into the kitchen and watch the cooks working, and so learned from them. After all I am not your typical princess.

Morning came and once more they set off on their travels. By mid-morning they were at the base of the mountain. Now’ said Wizziboo, who shall go up the mountain and get that egg? I will, said the princess. After all, I figure that as the bird is known as a Man eater, I’ll have more chance of success than most. Good thinking there my dear said the wizard. I will cast a spell to help protect you, but you will have to hurry once it’s been cast, as it does not last too long. As they stood discussing the whole matter, a huge shadow appeared to move over them—they looked up and there was the bird flying over their heads and screeching—Go away, Go away! or least that’s what it sounded like to them. It swooped very low indeed and snipped a piece of the prince’s hair off his head. With that the prince started screaming and running, with the bird chasing after him. The prince threw his hands up above his head, and the bird snatched his teddy bear right out of his hands and flew off to the top of the mountain. Well, that started the prince off all over again; he raged and screamed louder than ever. boo, hoo, sob sob, he st st stole my teddy, I want my teddy, I WANT MY TEDDY he screamed. The princess had to give him a sharp slap on the arm to stop the screaming. Oh, do be quiet you imbecile, don’t you know how lucky you are that the bird only took your teddy, it could have taken you instead. Now I tell you what I’ll do! When I go up the mountain to get the egg, I’ll see if I can find your teddy and bring it back to you. How does that sound? The prince, still crying stammered uh, huh, iiiiift you don’t mind, I I I promise to try to be g g good from now on, I, I really will, o o only p pplease bring back my teddy, he’s all I hhhhhhave.

In the meanwhile Wizziboo was making up a potion to help protect the princess whilst she climbed the mountain. Now let’s see. Mistletoe and rhubarb root, with twisted vine and mint, a drop of Rue and Bubblewort and a little piece of flint. Mix it all in marigold and a little touch peat, all in all that should make the spell complete. Now young lady you drink this up, and it should protect you from the bird’s attack for a little while.

The princess grabbed her sword and a short dagger and a bag to put the egg in, and then she drank the potion. Ugh! That is awful; couldn’t you at least have put a little sugar in it? With that she set off to climb the mountain.

It was an easy enough mountain to climb, but very high. Once she got half way up, the bird started flying around her and watching her progress, but somehow it never got too close. At last she reached the top and could see the nest. It was enormous and she had to climb up to get inside. Just as she got to the top edge of the nest, the bird came down screaming Go away, go away! Oh go away yourself you dumb bird, all I want is one of your eggs and I am going to take it.’ She jumped down into the nest and began putting the egg into the bag. The bird went crazy and tried to attack her with its talons. The princess drew her sword and slashed out at the bird, cutting into one of its feet. It got such a fright that it flew off screaming in shock and pain, for no one had ever dare attack it before, everyone was afraid of it. The princess quickly grabbed the teddy that was lying there and began climbing out of the nest and made a hasty descent of the mountain before the bird could come back. But the bird was much cleverer than that, it flew off instead towards where the others were waiting and once again made an attack on the prince who was again screaming, Mummy, mummy I want my mummy. Wizziboo thought quickly and sent off a fireball at the hovering bird, it struck him in the chest and the bird went off screaming once more. Oo! Boy, these people are crazy thought the bird best I leave them alone, before they do even more damage to my poor person. So the bird flew off back to its nest. The princess returned, all out of breath from the climb and carrying the heavy egg. Whew! That was a close one, I thought that bird was going to really damage me, she said. But at least we now have the egg and we can leave right away and get as far away from here as we can get. Oh! By the way dear prince here is your darling little teddy bear. The prince grabbed the teddy out of her hands and didn’t even say thank you. Hey! You mangy little beast, at least you could say thank you to me for bringing that moth eaten toy back for you. Thank you," said the sullen prince, who was not used to being treated in such a harsh manner, besides he had never had to say thanks for anything his whole life.

So the little group of travellers left the mountain and the land of Eggnog, heading west towards Toofy Town, where they hoped they would find the fierce dragon Mischief.

They travelled the rest of the day and well into the night before stopping to take rest. Wizziboo decided that they would take the morning off to refresh themselves and have a bath and a decent meal. They camped beside a river with lovely fresh bubbling water.

Each one of them took a turn to have a bath in the river, all except the prince who refused to bath.