When Things Go Wrong: Concepts of Change

By Pedus Chidi Eweama

The focal point of When Things Go Wrong Is Change - the only concept that does not change.

In a contemporary world where materialistic pursuits and economic exigencies have prompted a war between morality and calamity, this book in its simplicity remains a must read. From marriage and divorce to inter and intra-racial accomodation; from gender issues to child abuse, "When Things Go Wrong" would satisfy your thirst from a moral and bicultural perspective. When Things Go Wrong has a unique literary dimension. It is informative, educative, entertaining, thought-provoking and unique. It is a literary recipe for change. Virtually everything you desire for your reading pleasure would be seen in this book. Welcome Aboard!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 20, 2001
• ISBN: 9781465334039

Pedus Chidi Eweama

Pedus Chidi Eweama is a native of Nigeria who now lives in Savannah, Georgia. As a freelance writer, he has contributed to various local and international journals. Pedus was a local winner in the 1999 “letter to the front” worldwide letter writing contest. As a poet, his celebrated poem, “A Mutilated Virgin of Ten”, was recently published in the International Library of Poetry Anthology, “Nature’s Echoes”. At the time of this publication, he is a semi-finalist contending for the International Library of Poetry Open Poetry Contest Award. Some of his award-winning poems have also been published in the Famous Poets’ Anthology, “GEM 2000". A believer in volunteerism, he founded Child Aid, Survival and Development International (CASDI) as well as volunteers for the American Red Cross (ARC) As a human rights activist, he belongs to the International Society for Human Rights (ISHR) and The Community Rights Project (CRP). Pedus is a new generation writer who strongly believe in perseverance, dedication and innovation.

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Copyright © 2000 by Pedus Chidi Eweama.

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Contents

PART 1

INTRODUCTION

ACKNOWLEDGMENT

DIVORCE: AN AMERICAN NIGHTMARE

BLACKMAN’S PREJUDICE AGAINST BLACKMAN

SEE THEM KILLING AND MAIMING THEIR BROTHERS

BLACK BY COLOR, WHITE BY CULTURE

SEXUAL LICENTIOUSNESS IN THE USA: WHO IS TO BLAME?

ARE WHITE COPS AFTER AFRICAN AMERICANS?

LOVE OR INFATUATION?

LOOKING FOR A DATE?

SUCCESSIVE POLYGAMY IN THE USA, SIMULTANEOUS IN AFRICA

LOOKING AT HUMAN RIGHTS IN A MILITARILIZED NATION

WHEN A COUNTRY IS CORRUPT

GENDER DISPARITY

CHILD ABUSE

LOOKING AT F.G.M. FROM A POETIC PERSPECTIVE

EXCLUSIVE BREAST-FEEDING: A PANACEA FOR CHILDS’ SURVIVAL AND DEVELOPMENT

PART II

INTRODUCTION

FOCUS ON THE RAVAGES OF HIV/ AIDS IN AFRICA

PREVENTIVE APPROACHES

AN INSIGHT INTO NURSING

LIFE AND PEOPLE LIVING WITH AIDS

COLLECTIVE ECONOMICS

HEALTH

ON PROCREATION:

POLITICS AND INTER-RACIAL RELATIONS

ON DRUGS

MESSAGES THROUGH POEMS

THE ROSE THAT SURVIVED ON STONE

To the glory of the God Almighty,

I dedicate this literary work to my parents,

Chief R. A. Eweama (of blessed memory)

and Mrs. Christiana U. Eweama, as well as my brother, Collins C. Eweama

(of blessed memory) for their encouragement and infinite love for education.

PART 1

INTRODUCTION

Mankind has tremendously evolved socio-politically and economically over the years. In the face of grave circumstances, man has proved that he is a political animal that can change its course when threatened.

As the new millennium dawns, man continually strives for excellence. However, no good thing has come so easy and so will the desire for change. Since life itself was not built on the platter of gold, this overriding need to address things that have gone wrong in the society requires the collective consciousness of all and sundry.

Fundamental and contemporary issues such as divorce, discrimination, relationships, morality, AIDS and AIDS related issues, human rights, and much more are subjects emphasized in this book.

Chapter after chapter, the simplicity of the language and the linguistic spices will obviously boost your desire to read more.

As we all look forward to seeing startling technological developments in the 21st century, the issue of undermining cultural identity, equality, justice, peace, fair-play and other socio-cultural abnormalities witnessed in the recent past can no longer be relegated to the background.

The majority of the problems mankind has continued to encounter stems from poorly grounded leadership. From the basic unit of the society—family-to the larger society, there is a serious war between morality and calamity. People no longer have values and as a matter of fact, the society seems to be at war against itself. The long outstanding issue of color superiority still plagues mankind.

Until we all realize the need for change while avoiding our hedonistic tendencies, narcissistic predispositions and ethnocentric biases, things will continually go wrong.

Plato, the great Greek philosopher, once warned that unless philosophers become kings (leaders) or kings become philosophers, there will be no end to societal ills (and man’s inhumanity to man). A philosopher according to Plato, is the most highly cultured personality, friend and kinsman of equity and justice and not just an academic professor of philosophy who may not after all be one. A philosopher is the most rational of souls and posses the noblest of natures. He is eager to know the right thing and does the right thing at the right time. He does not segregate or stereotype. He knows that hard work, dedication and perseverance have no substitute. He has the quest and thirst to achieve. Above all , he is always an advocate of change when things go wrong.

This book, the authors debut, is scintillating in outlook and precise in presentation. It is meant for all ages. It is heart-thrilling, thought provoking, entertaining, educative and a recipe for a new dawn. You are welcome aboard!

PEDUS C. EWEAMA

COPYRIGHT 2000

ACKNOWLEDGMENT

As the saying goes, no man is an island. In the light of this fact, this book wouldn’t have been a success without the effort and unflinching support of friends and relatives. However, the greatest support came from the Lord God Almighty who by his grace strengthened me physically, emotionally and even materially during the course of putting this book in place.

My sincere gratitude goes to the following people who in one way or the other contributed towards this worthy course. They are my parents, Chief (late) Remi and Mrs. Christina Eweama, who perpetually have a place of pride in my heart. My brothers and sisters, Emma Ikeri, Dr. C.J. Eweama, Collins Eweama (of blessed memory), Mrs. Kate Emele, Rev. (Capt.) Ike Eweama, Mrs. Rose Njoku, Sunny Eweama, Tony Eweama, Agnes Eweama, Frank Eweama and Mary-Ann Eweama who have been instrumental to my accomplishments.

My appreciation also goes to Professor Sylvester and Mrs. Echika Chukwurkere, Michael Porter, Leticia Bell, Mr. And Mrs. Vincent Emele, Peace Emele, Bede Emele, Melissa Davis, Rev. Sister Trinitas Oluchi keke, Abraham Adewara, Christy Dibiaezue, Rose Dike, Duane Farmer, Arinze Onyekamma, Christy Chisolm Rev. Fr. Augustine Okwuoma, Mrs. & Mrs. Segun Adedipe, John Ebere, and Ugo Ejike. Another person I can not forget is Ms. Betty W. Jackson, who wholeheartedly offered to type and put the manuscript in order. To you, I am profoundly grateful for the job well done. I also wish to thank Cassandra Milla for all the good things she has done for me. My friends, Dr. Kennedy & Mrs. Lesley Okere will not be forgotten because they have been spiritual catalysts and mentors to me. I can not forget all my friends at the University of Benin School of Medicine and those in the USA whose names this section could not contain.

Finally, I wish to say a bigger thank you to my beloved brothers Rev. (Capt.) Ike Eweama and Professor Sylvester and Mrs. Echika Chukwukere for their immense support.

If I continue to mention names of those whose help I can not deny, it might take the whole book. I therefore use this medium to apologize to all those friends, relatives and well-wishers whose names this book could not accommodate. To you all, I am profoundly grateful.

DIVORCE: AN AMERICAN NIGHTMARE

Marriage is a divine concept, which is as old as human existence itself. It is not a union of weak minds. It is the bonding of like and activated minds, which is not meant to be temporary. As a matter of fact, it ought to be an as long as there is life concept.

However, it has become increasingly apparent that the issue of marriage in contemporary North American society has not only been jeopardized, it has been bastardized and relegated to the background. Divorce in America is one of the aching social ailments of our time, which cuts across social, economic, educational, ethnic, and religious segments of the society.

As an alien in the US, having come from a part of Africa where divorce is unheard of, it beats my imagination each time I read or hear about the alarming rate of divorce and its consequent single parenthood. The fact that one in every two marriages in the USA is bound to fail is astonishing! My perception is that the social system has become epileptic. Something, indeed, has gone wrong somewhere. Every segment of the society has been evidently represented in this flea market.

What is the root of divorce in the US? Where are our cherished societal values (if our New World Syndrome has not eroded them)? What is the psycho-social and economic feedback divorce can present? Can this nightmare ever be overcome? This chapter is aimed at not only sensitizing the reading public, but also calling for an urgent and decisive re-evaluation of our family values. Watch out as we dilate upon the topic!

Another focal point of this literary piece is to pinpoint depository factors responsible for a sizeable number of family problems, including divorce. This call to duty can not be complete if I can not cite my own family as a model and case study in this direction. All these are aimed at re-establishing family visions and values in the scheme of things, which will ultimately bring love, unity, spousal bond and security to all American families, who deserve the very best of family life. For a long time, divorce has been treated as a non-issue, despite the fact that victims have been dying in silence. By the way, What is good for the goose is good for the gander. Making the world a global village will indisputably become a more realistic concept if one good thing happening in a given cultural setting would be acceptable in another without recourse to ethnocentrism.

In fact, without prejudice, a Nigerian will evidently inform a causal observer that Americans are the best in all human endeavors. Coming to America, however, has prompted me to understudy the social setting, to learn new things and to share my ideas with people from different backgrounds. Unfortunately, I came to discover that this issue of divorce is underlying without a sincere effort to extinct those stimuli that make the majority of the populace respond to this fruitless call of divorce. Family values seem not be prioritized and the lack of social and moral cohesion has done more harm than good.

The easy disintegration of families makes a mess of human integrity and values.

Does it therefore mean that it is a misconception for one to say that family values and visions are the landmarks of the American society? I have continued to wonder if this is the great and civilized nation I used to hear? We can not continually be carried away by the winds of independence, economic greatness, political glory, and civilization. We have to take our individual and collective greatness home in order to define and defend the great portfolio of power and confidence the outside world reposes on us. This is because greatness not defended is greatness not defined. The definition, however, has to be broadened to include family values. Actually, what matters is not the circumstances that led to our attitudes, but the attitudes that led to our circumstances.

Yes, the economic strength and democratic apostleship can not be over-emphasized. However, societal values and morality from a close observation puts a critical observer in doubt. For example, saying that all marriages in contemporary North American society is for better or worse is very far from the truth. Once again, is divorce a product of economic prosperity or individual gratification? Is it an aftermath of a New World? Is it a war between morality and calamity? Who, for the sake of posterity, has the answers to these thought-provoking questions? Though men suffer in cases of divorce, women are more often than not at the receiving ends. They have often complained of their betrayal, abuse, victimization, and trash-like abandonment. Indeed, most women have developed immunity to divorce, having married and remarried in geometrical progression. Unfortunately, children are not left behind when the psycho-sociological trauma of divorce befalls their families. These children actually deserve public sympathy. Their survival as social entities becomes a puzzle. My consolation to you, the little victim is weep not child! Your parents shall be accountable for their actions and inaction when it is question time, here or there. Most children are just celebrated refugees in their own families.

I accosted a young man recently; and in my innate curiosity, I decided to seek his opinion regarding marriage as he sees it. Without mincing words, he started by defining marriage as a necessary evil of our time. I disagreed with him while using biblical citations to convince him that marriage is not a luxury, not evil, but a divine necessity. His poor understanding of marriage coupled with bias left much to be desired. However, he later expressed gratitude for having learnt a lot more than he knew. He further agreed that he had been confused regarding the concept of marriage.

What behavioral psychologists and all other authorities in the field of human behavior are yet to put clear to the public is the reason why some marriages here in the US have succeeded, leaving the majority of marriages to assume disintegrated status. The explanation is much more than individual differences and learning. This holistic research requires urgent attention because the trend could be compared with a drastic disease which deserves a drastic cure. At this juncture, I would want to drive you literally to the family where I was born and where divorce is a taboo because charity begins at home; and based on my promise earlier to use my parents as models and case study. The marital relationship between my parents as will be briefly discussed here is just a tip of the iceberg. As I write this chapter, I reflect and meditate soberly on how great my parents have been. When I look back at the many years of love, happiness and understanding between my parents, I wish I could be in a position to award them an honorary Doctorate Degree in marital affairs and child rearing. Though this does not exist as a degree, it is an arbitrary qualification to couples who have lived inseparably for four decades. Bravo! Mom and Dad, I am very proud to be associated with you. Communication was the key my parents used to unlock happiness, mutual love and understanding. They used the same defense to convict and sentence the trio of misunderstanding, bitterness and rancor to life imprisonment without any opportunity for parole. Their marriage is not a success story because of their individual strength but because each of them realized that to whom much is given, much is expected. Though I’m thousands of miles away from home, the memory lingers in my mind. I have been bequeathed a legacy that I will also leave behind for posterity. The glamour and exigencies of life never carried my parents away, despite their education and exposure.