The Adventures of Commander Ryan: Book I

By Kenneth Turpin

When Denis Ryan a tall well made good looking young man, Who knew where he was going, reached 23 he was manager at his work chained to a desk, This was not the sort of job Denis liked, So he resigned and left to go to Australia, The Australian Police Force were recruiting staff at Australia House in London Denis joins as a Criminal Investigation Officer and heads for a new life in Australia, But as soon as he steps foot on the ship a set of circumstances happen, He meets 3 young girls and they became friends, they found him amusing and decided to stick together and a love affair starts, they found out the real reason Denis prefers to wear boxer shorts, he was a big lad and the girls loved it, When he and the girls get off the ship in Durban, South Africa He likes the easy luxurious way of life, his riches bring him, The Sun, the Erotic love affairs so he stays in South Africa using his money buying various properties, in Natal, and the Cape Provence which he falls in love with and living a luxurious life style, He eventually gets to Australia ends up in the Australian-Navy- intelligence and gets sent to Viet Nam, on Illegal smuggling in Human trafficking cases. Then as station commander with the Papua & New Guinea Police and expedition force, on a number of incidents in a country thats 9 tenths Jungle and the Crooks have poisonous arrows, His last case takes him on an expedition down the Fly river chasing Cannibals and they get caught by a Tribe of 7ft tall Amazon women who used them as SEX Slaves.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Dec 26, 2012
• ISBN: 9781479766710

Kenneth Turpin

Kenneth Turpin was born in Leeds, West Yorkshire in1942. Up to the end of the WWII, he lived in Berwick-upon-Tweed and Aberdeen, as his father was serving in the Kings Own Scottish Borderers. Then they came back to live in Seacroft, Leeds. Turpin attended the Grange school on Seacroft Green, and Cross Gates Secondary Modern School in Cross Gates. He left school to serve his apprenticeship at John Curtis and Sons. At the age of seventeen, the author also served in the Kings Own Scottish Borderers, in the Regiment his father was in. From there, the author has traveled from one country to another. Presently, Turpin now lives in Devon, England.

Book preview

Copyright © 2013 by Kenneth Turpin.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

0-800-644-6988

www.xlibrispublishing.co.uk

[e-mail]

305361

Contents

Chapter One The Young Mr Ryan

Chapter Two The Break-in

Chapter Three Cape Town

Chapter Four Durban

Chapter Five

Chapter Six Game Reserve

Chapter Seven Cape Town

Chapter Eight Is This the End?

Chapter One

The Young Mr Ryan

Denis, at the age of twenty-three, realised his job was going nowhere. He had been made contracts manager six months back and now he is sitting in an office, chained to a desk. This was not the job he wanted to do any more. He had just got a film from his aunt in Brisbane, Australia. It was a recruiting film from the Australian police force offering a good career to anyone who was interested and had the right qualifications. Denis noticed they were looking for forensic investigations officers. This made Denis smile. Science! It was his favourite subject. He phoned the Australian embassy up in London and asked for the application forms, filled them in, and posted them back. He waited with great anticipation. One Sunday morning, at church, he told us he was thinking of going to see his aunt in Australia, but we thought nothing of it.

About two weeks later, Denis had to go to the Australian embassy in London for an interview and medical with the Board of Police Commissioners. He came back with a big smile on his face. They had offered him a job as a trainee detective investigator, and he would go out to Australia as a ten pound pom. That meant the Australian government would pay his fare. He was well pleased as he waited for word of his sailing date, and then it came. He was to join the ship Canberra a P/O cruise liner.

With this came a letter of confirmation of his rank, pay bracket, with the address of the police HQ in Sydney and a phone number that he had to phone on arrival. It said they would pick him up and take him to a hostel, where he would stay while he was at the New South Wales Police Academy, taking basic training was for six weeks, and then another eight weeks studying forensic science. But they gave him a week off with pay to settle in before starting college. There was another letter asking him to take a physical by the police board and an examination of his personal measurements: his height, weight, chest size, waist size, collar size, his inside leg size, shoe size, and cap size, and this had to be handed in at HQ on arrival so that they could get his uniform made. But he knew all this as he had got a white dinner jacket, a tuxedo, and a blazer made for the journey out on the Canberra.

When we were taking confirmation classes at the vicarage after church, we used to go back there for coffee, and it carried on after. It was at this coffee morning that Denis showed us this letter. I tell you, we were all very impressed. There were a few jealous people in that room, and some of us were sad. We were losing one of the old school pals. The village cricket side would suffer, as Denis was an opening bat with Neville. There were jokes like, ‘Well, Denis, you won’t get rained off playing cricket in Australia, ha ha.’

On the last Saturday night for Denis, we gave him a send-off in our local pub, the Cricketer’s Arms, on Seacroft Green, a place he knew well, as most Saturday nights, at nine thirty, someone would shout for Denis to give them a song. While most lads, like Vic White, sang rock and roll, Denis was more a Nat King Cole or Bing Crosby-style singer, and he was good. He had the knack of turning his kind of posh, well-mannered voice into the same type of crooning voice. But he had to be in the mood. It came on spontaneously, usually after two or three pints of beer.

Denis looked very smart at his farewell party, in his navy blue blazer and grey flannels he had tailor-made for the trip. He also had a white dinner jacket and a tux made. Some of Denis’s girlfriends were crying their eyes out, asking him not to go. You could see he was very popular. At one time, he was dancing or smooching on the dance floor with two girls at the same time. This was his home, and these were his fans. He did not realise how many friends he had. His dad picked him up at half past twelve and took him home, legless. But he was at church the next morning, singing his heart out. At the end of the service, the vicar came to shake his hand and wish him well.

That was the last some of us saw of Denis. He was leaving on Monday morning, with his mother and father to see him off at his next stop, Southampton, on the Canberra, then on to pastures new.

They arrived at the Canberra terminal. It was heaving. Denis told his mother and father to go to the railings as they were starting to panic and get overexcited. Denis made his way to check in his baggage. He only had two cases, a large suitcase and a zipped-up holdall. Denis was getting a bit jittery himself as he shook hands with his father and gave his mother a hug and a kiss goodbye. He had never been out of Leeds, except on holidays to Scarborough or Black pool, and now, he was going to the other side of the world.

‘Well, my aunt will be there,’ he thought to himself as he made his way to the check-in counter and handed the man his passport and documents. The man interrupted him and asked him how much money he was taking out of the country with him, as you were only allowed £250.00 in cash and the rest in traveller’s cheque He returned the documents back, along with a blue card.

‘This is your boarding card and cabin number. You’re in Cabin G8228. It’s on the port side amidships. That’s in the middle of the ship, so just follow the blue line and check the numbers as you go.’ Then the man gave him a four-page plan of the ship: the first page was A deck, the second page was third deck, the third page was prom deck, and the last page was games deck. ‘Next one, please,’ he asked.

Wow! Well, that was short and sweet. Denis walked off with his two cases and a smile on his face. He had butterflies and nervously mumbled the song, ‘We’re off, we’re off, we’re off in a motor car, twenty cops are after us and we don’t know where we are.’ That was what we sang when we went out on day trips with the school bus, but this is no bus. Just had to look at the size of it. ‘It has got to be half a mile long,’ he thought to himself.

Denis was smartly dressed in a navy blue blazer, with a county cricket badge on (well, he made the second team), and grey trousers. He looked like a sportsman: tall, with a rugged look, square jaw, great smile, and a proper gentleman. At the end of the gangway, there was a steward to welcome him aboard. He took a quick look at Denis’s ticket and said, ‘Turn left and follow the number.’

‘That’s what the other guy said,’ Denis replied nervously. He was walking for what looked like ages, trying to find his number. It was hectic. People were going this way and that way. Denis had forgotten about the blue line. It turned left, but Denis carried on. When he had realised this, he turned back and found his error. Ten yards down the passage, there was his cabin. He walked in. It was a two-bunk cabin.

‘Thank the Lord for that!’ he said to himself. He put his cases away in his locker and made his way outside to the ship’s rail to see if he could spot his mum and dad. He looked down, and the band was playing; there were people throwing streamers, waving their arms, and shouting at their relatives on the docks. Then they started to play ‘Auld Lang Syne’, and the ship’s hooter gave a sharp toot; then the men on the dockside released the ropes from the bollards, and the ship began to move. Denis had a tear in his eye as he waved to his mum and dad and wondered if he would see them again. There were three girls who came and stood at the side of Denis, shouting their heads off as tears filled their eyes as they waved goodbye.

‘Excuse me, you need a hankie?’ Denis asked one of them, with a smile as he offered her his handkerchief.

‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘I am such a softy. Are you going to Australia?’

‘Well, where else does this ship go to?’ Denis replied jokingly.

They both had a laugh. He carried on chatting with the three girls; then they turned back to look at their parents to give a last goodbye and then he turned to go back to his cabin. ‘My name is Denis. What’s yours?’

‘Well, I am Iris, this is my sister, Irene, and this is Ann. We are all going to Sydney and then up to Queensland. Which side of the ship are you on?’

‘My cabin is over here,’ and he followed the blue line back to his cabin to show the newfound girlfriends.

‘Ho, this is nice. Is there only two of you in here?’

‘Yes, but the other guy hasn’t turned up yet. Now, where is your cabin?’

‘It’s on the other side and a bit further to the front.’

‘Forward.’

‘What’s forward?’

‘Your cabin is forward. It’s not nearer the front. It’s more forward.’ Denis pointed to the front of the ship and said, ‘That is forward. Pronounced forrad. It’s the navy term for front.’ Pointing his finger to the back of the ship, he told them that that was called aft and when the ship was moving, it was going forward or astern.

‘All right, we believe you.’ They carried on exploring the ship and found the lounge.

Denis found a P and O, red and white log, and info of the cruise. It informed you where you were on such and such a day, how fast you were cruising at, and the average temperature. Sitting at the table, he showed them all that was happening and where it was happening and the time it was happening.

‘Yes, we got one too, said Iris.’ Leaning on Denis’s shoulder, she asked, ‘What time does the bar open?’ Looking down the info sheet, He said, ‘There is a captain’s cocktail party.’

‘In about an hour’s time,’ was the reply.

‘All right,’ said the girls. ‘We will go get freshened up and meet you at the cocktail party for a drink before dinner.’

‘All right, bye.’

Denis noticed that there were quite a few German people on board but thought nothing of it and carried on, making himself at home in his cabin. He then lay down for a rest until the bar opened, but he could not rest. He was off to explore the ship. So first, he headed aft (to the back of the ship) to see what he could find. Denis’s eyes were everywhere. He had never seen anything as big as this before. Only on the Corona at Scarborough on short trips, out to sea. This thing is a monster.

‘Which side of the ship am I on?’ he thought. ‘I remember when I was in the sea cadets at school, we were told a poem, Red left port. If it’s red, that means it’s left, and it’s the port side.’ So he turned around to face forward (the front of the ship). ‘All right, I am on the right of the ship, so this is the starboard side of the ship. It’s right, and it would have a green navigation light.’ So then he knew where he was headed. He continued walking aft, passing a reading room and a load of shops when he saw a sign ‘Peacock Room’, with an arrow under it. ‘That sounds interesting’, he thought, ‘and I am going in the right direction.’

He came to a bar. ‘I wonder if this is the place I am supposed to meet the girls.’ He poked his head around the door to have a look and see what was in there first.

‘Hey, this looks a bit all right!’

So Denis walked in, ordered a pint of lager, and walked out of the Peacock Room. ‘This is where they must hold all the dances,’ he thought. He sat down and had a closer look at the booklet that he found on his bed. He noticed that there was an event every night, and this little book was a mine of information. The intro informed you that the first night would be informal, but from then on, you had to wear a suit and shoes. Bare feet and baggies were not allowed. Dinner was served from six till eight-thirty. You just walked in, sat down, and ordered, and within three minutes, your dinner was there. You could go swimming, go to the gym, go running, play golf, indulge in clay shooting, and play tennis, table tennis, cricket, and ten-pin bowling. You could go to the cinema, the theatre, the opera, the pantomime, play whist and other card games, and listen to classical music. ‘Boy, this place is something else! Well, I can’t see myself getting bored in the next three weeks it takes this ship to get to Australia.’

Denis was just about to get up and go when the girls he had met came in, and they were looking smart, very smart. The two sisters, Irene and Iris, were wearing black slacks, the ones that had the strap that goes under the arch of the foot. Iris had on a blue top and Irene, white top, flat shoes, and a short red jacket with a wraparound belt. Ann was also in slacks with a very sexy pink top that showed off her figure.

‘Hi, Denis; Where were you? We have been waiting in the other bar.’

‘Which one is that?’

‘Come, we will show you.’

‘No! First let’s have a drink here. Then we’ll go on a pub crawl.’

So Denis got the drinks, and they sat there discussing the info and all the venues in the book.

‘Welcome on board the Canberra. Where are you from?’ asked Iris.

‘Leeds’, replied Denis, ‘and you?’

‘Ho, we are from Weatherby, but I lived in Camborne as I was studying at the Camborne School of Mine Engineering.’

‘Very good. How did you do?’

‘Well, I got a B pass, and so now, I am going to seek my fortune in Australia,’ she said with a laugh. ‘And you? Why are you going to Australia?’

‘Well, I am joining the Australian police force.’

‘What! You’re going to be a copper?’

‘Yes, what’s wrong with that?’ Denis replied with a smile.

‘Nothing’, said Iris, ‘you are certainly big enough. It’s just unusual. What’s wrong with the British police?’

‘Nothing, my aunt lives in Queensland, so I thought I would stay with her.’

‘Well, I say let’s move on to the next pub,’ Irene said. ‘There are more men in there.’

Denis thought to himself, ‘After me, mate, after me.’ He thought all his Christmases had come at once with these three good-looking girls on his arm. ‘Why you looking for a good man?’ said Denis. ‘I am here.’

They all had a laugh, and they got to the next pub. It was called the Cricketer’s Tavern. ‘Hey, this looks good.’ Denis put his arm around Iris’s waist to guide her through the door.

‘The bar isn’t bad either!’ Iris gave him a smile.

As they walked into the bar, he could sense that his hand got a good reception. ‘It looks impressive.’ Denis was feeling more and more drawn towards Iris.

Along the walls were cricket stars from bygone years: Donald Bradman, 1930; Fred Truman, 1950; Ian Botham, 1955; Godfrey Evans, 1950; Sir Viv Richards, 1952, to name a few. It was Denis’s sport, but right now, all he could think about was Iris, and as they sat there talking, he gently played with her fingers, out of sight, under the table. Then she pulled her hand away and asked, ‘Do you play cricket, Denis?’

‘Yes, but I also play rugby.’

‘Ho, that’s my dad’s favourite sport. We always watch it on the TV. Do you play professional?’

‘No, just amateur, for a team in Headingly.’

‘Well, you’re built like a rugby player,’ Irene said, smiling. Denis sensed something when Iris started to smile back at him.

Well, things went on and on until it was about time for dinner. They made their way to the dining room, found a table, and ordered a bottle of champagne. Denis did the honours in popping the cork. They toasted each other as they raised their glasses. ‘Here’s to a new life in Australia!’

After a fantastic meal, they were all feeling stuffed and sleepy, so they went out on to the deck and leant against the ship’s railings. They could feel the warm fresh wind on their faces. Ann and Irene had noticed that Denis and Iris were holding hands as they walked along the ship’s deck. Iris had a big smile and was acting sentimental and lovey-dovey, so they decided to call it a night and hit the sack, leaving Iris to enjoy some time alone with her new boyfriend, Denis.

As Denis and Iris leant against the side of the ship’s railing, they could see the white waves whooshing against the ship’s side, and they chatted and peered aimlessly into the sea. Denis had his arm around Iris’s waist and pulled her to him, and they started hugging each other. Iris reached up to put her arms around Denis’s neck, and they started kissing each other and then petting. Denis put his arms around Iris’s back and unclipped her bra and started fondling her breasts slowly and gently, squeezing her nipples as they kissed, but before long, things heated up. They were both on fire and wanted more, so Denis asked, ‘Would you like to come to my cabin for a coffee?’

‘Yes, please. I thought you would never ask.’ Iris smiled at him shyly.

So they made their way back to Denis’s cabin. As he opened the cabin door, Iris hesitated for a second, as though to think again. Denis saw this and gently held her hand and told her that it was all right and he asked her to come in. They kissed and then Denis just picked her up and carried her in to his cabin and laid her on the bed and locked the cabin door.

They kissed a little more, and Denis took off her bra and kissed and fondled her firm breasts as they lay there. She grabbed hold of Denis’s neck and started kissing him harder as his hand left her breasts and slid slowly down to the honey pot.

Denis got up and stripped. Then Iris said, ‘OMG, you are a big man,’ and took hold of his erect cock and played around with it as Denis kissed and fondled her. ‘Give it to me,’ she said as she lay there on her back, with her legs partly open, and Denis knelt in-between and entered her. She whimpered as he entered her, his big cock going further into her with each thrust. The rhythm was getting faster, and the excitement growing, she had her legs around Denis’s waist; she could feel his hot dick thrusting inside her and the excitement grew. ‘Yes, yes,’ she yelled, and they both climaxed. OMG, that was brilliant, and she kissed him, hugging him, her legs still around his waist, holding him there inside her. Then they lay there holding each other; Denis got up and got a bottle of wine out of the small fridge and poured two glasses full and got back into bed. They chatted and listened to the ship’s radio. ‘You’re so strong and gentle,’ she said, and they started kissing; then they made love again. That night they made love about three times.

It was 3.30 a.m. and the ship’s radio was still playing soft romantic music as they lay there making love, when all of a sudden, the opera singer, Paul Robson, came on singing that song from Sanders of the River.

In the middle of lovemaking, Denis was on his knees and Iris had her legs around his waist with his dick still inside her and he suddenly stopped. Denis got the urge to start singing. So all of a sudden, all Iris heard was Denis’s interpretation of Paul Robson, singing ‘I Yiga-toe, a Yiggady, I Yiga-toe, a Yiggady! White Men Sail Down the Mississippi, White Men Sail on the Deep Blue Sea.’ He was doing the actions of someone paddling a canoe—Iris being the canoe!

Iris broke out laughing her head off. She thought he had lost his nuts. They both then broke out in roaring laughter for about twenty minutes. Denis said, ‘I just got the urge to sing.’ At 4.30 a.m. in the morning, both of them were laughing their heads off.

Iris said, ‘Give me a drink quick! You’re bloody killing me.’

They eventually stopped and lay there cuddled up and fell fast asleep. The next thing they knew, it was eight o’clock and breakfast was at nine. Denis was up already doing his Thai-Chi. Iris looked on in admiration seeing his muscular body doing a slow exercise; she had never seen anything like it. Iris got up and said, ‘I will have to get a move on. I have to go back to my cabin to shower and change into some clean clothes.’

Denis said, ‘I will walk you to your cabin.’

‘Ho, you’re such a gentleman.’

‘That’s all right. I need the walk.’

When Iris got to her cabin, the other girls were very inquisitive, saying ‘Ooh, you dirty, stop out!’ Iris started laughing. ‘You will never believe what happened.’

They all sat there on one of the bunk beds, all wanting to speak at once. Ann came out with, ‘Is he any good in bed?’

‘I can tell you one thing,’ said Iris. ‘The five years at Camborne School of Mining when I abstained from sex, well, it all came out last night. It was great! I have never known a man so big and gentle and so polite.’

‘Did he ring your bell?’ Ann asked.

‘Ring my bell? He rang everything. We made love four times.’ Iris lay back on the bed and shouted, ‘I am in love! We fit together like a hand into a glove, and he is so comical when you get him alone and that smile. He is gorgeous. Do you know we laughed our socks off? We were making love for the third time—’

‘Ho, you dirty bugger!’ shouted Ann with a chuckle.

‘No, listen. We were making love for the third time, and the radio was playing softly when all of a sudden this song came on from Sanders of the River, and Denis had a mad moment. We were making love the normal way when Denis changed to the kneeling position and started singing this bloody song and acting as though he was in a canoe and I was the canoe. Well, it was so comical. He sang, I yiga-toe, a yiggady, I yiga-toe, a yiggady. Ho, it was so funny! We just rolled around in hysterics.’

‘So, you had a good time, sis?’ Irene asked.

‘Yes, it was great!’

‘Are you seeing him again?’ she asked.

‘As soon as I have a shower. We thought we would go for breakfast together, all of us.’

‘Ho, thanks for the invite,’ the girls said laughingly.

‘I don’t believe it. First night on board and she finds Mr Right,’ cried Ann.

‘Don’t worry, Ann,’ said Iris. ‘There are plenty more on board and three weeks to play around in. So what time is breakfast?’

‘Eight thirty till nine thirty, I think.’

Iris had made arrangements with Denis to meet by the Cricketer’s Tavern. He would be playing the slot machines that line the passageways. Denis had not been there long when the girls arrived. ‘Good morning, girls. How are you all this morning?’

‘All right and you?’

‘Well, I got a bit of a hangover.’

They chatted as they made their way to the Atlantic Restaurant. ‘It must have been that last pint I had. It’s not like the beer in Leeds. I think it would be easier to get one of the four lifts. The nearest one is just down here.’

So they got on the lift and went down two levels. When they got out of the lift, the head waiter came up to Denis and asked, ‘Table for four, sir? This way, please.’ He led them to a table, and three other very smart waiters came and pulled the chairs out for the girls and sat them down. ‘My name is Ludwig. I am the head waiter. Anything you want, come to me, all right?’

The three waiters all introduced themselves in their broken English as they were all Italian. ‘Tea or coffee?’ they asked.

‘Can we have four coffees please?’

They walked away to give Denis and the girls time to look at the menu, but they soon came back. Denis noticed that they all walked in a line, one after the other. The first had the coffee, the next had the milk, and the last had the orange or grapefruit juice. ‘All right, what do you like for starters?’

‘We will skip the starters and go for a full English breakfast.’

‘Why? You no like the starters? We have a beautiful an’ fresh pawpaw an’ a fresh grapefruit segments an’ a fresh strawberries and cream. It is magnifico, make you strong like an Italian stallion.’

‘No, thank you, just four English.’

‘Okey-dokey,’ the waiter replied.

They all turned and walked away in line again. Ann said, ‘Quick! Look at the last one. Look how he walks in those tight trousers. It looks like he is walking down a catwalk.’

The girls gave a little chuckle.

Denis said, ‘They remind me of the Three Stooges, but they’re very smart and polite. I hope the breakfast is as good. I am starving.’

‘Still got a hangover, Denis?’ Ann asked.

‘No, but this orange juice is going down a treat.’

‘How’re the arms?’

‘My arms are all right. Why?’

‘We were just wondering. With all the canoeing you were doing down that river last night, we thought your arms would be tired. Iris was pooped.’

The penny dropped. Denis smiled, but his face went scarlet.

‘How does it go, Denis?’ Irene picked up her spoon and used it like a paddle. ‘How does that song go? I yigga toe, a yiggady, I yigga toe, a yiggady.’

Denis just sat there red-faced. Grinning, ‘All right, you got me.’

Just then, the three waiters arrived with their breakfast, all walking in line again, and one after the other this time. The first two waiters were carrying the breakfasts, and the third carried two racks of toast. The plates were full. Three rashers of bacon, two eggs, two sausages, black pudding, fried tomatoes, beans, mushrooms, and a slice of fried bread. ‘Boy, I don’t think I can eat all this,’ Irene muttered.

They all got stuck in immediately, just chatting occasionally between mouthfuls. Then Denis said, ‘Ann, here comes your boyfriend, the one with the tight trousers. Ho, Ann, you cracked it. He’s bringing you some more toast.’ They all laughed.

As the waiter put the toast down, you could see he was looking at Ann’s breasts. ‘Magnifico!’ he said and then wiggled off.

They carried on discussing the plans of the day over their coffee and discussed what the next port of call was. Irene noticed that there was a piece of paper tucked in behind the salt and pepper. She upended it and showed the rest. ‘Look, we even get a Daily Canberra News.’

This reminded them of what day it was, and the ‘Thought of the Day’ was read out by Iris.

‘Well, Denis, it says here, Women are wiser, because they know less but understand more. Ha ha! I don’t know which way to take that.’

Denis said, ‘They are humouring you. What else does it say?’

‘Well, it tells you what’s happening onboard the ship, hour by hour. It all starts to happen from 8.15 p.m. So we can get a suntan through the day and get drunk at night.’

‘Ha ha! That sounds good to me,’ Ann laughed.

‘It says that other games can be found in the Games Room. It even tells you of the first cruise way back in 1844. Let’s take it up on deck and read it there.’

So they all got up from the table and on their way passed the head waiter. Denis said, ‘Arrivederci, Luigi, and Presto.’

‘What did you say to him?’ asked Ann.

‘I said, goodbye, see you later in Italian.’

‘I didn’t know you could speak Italian?’

‘I can’t. I was on holiday in Rome two years ago, and I have still got the phrase book. Ha ha!’

They got up to their level and made their way out on to the sun deck, leaving Ann and Irene playing the one-armed bandits. Iris settled down to a book she had brought with her. Denis read the Canberra News. Ann and Irene came back with big smiles on their faces. Ann said, ‘Help me with this lot. We just won £100. I am rich!’ she laughed, clinging to her sun hat, full of half-crowns. Irene had the rest in her bag. She said, ‘I hit the jackpot!’

‘Drinks are on you tonight,’ said Iris.

‘All right, but first I am going to look for a new outfit for myself from that boutique on the upper deck. Come on, Irene, let’s go.’

‘Hey, wait for us. We are coming too.’

So they all wandered off, looking at the shops along each deck. They came across a women’s hair salon. ‘Want a haircut, Denis, or a perm?’ Ann said, jokingly, they eventually found the shop.

‘I will wait out here,’ Denis said shyly.

‘All right, we won’t be long.’

Denis had wandered to a men’s shop a few doors down and saw a pair of short pants that he took a fancy to. He liked the dark pair, but his legs were too white, so he chose a beige pair that had a matching belt. ‘May I keep them on?’ asked Denis.

‘Yes, sir, of course. I will put your flannels in a bag for you. Make sure you take your wallet out of your trousers.’

‘No fear,’ replied Denis.

So then Denis had a white shirt on and the new short trousers, short brown socks, and black shoes, and a pair of long, white, but muscular legs. He looked in the mirror, ‘Holy mackerel! I will have to do something with them legs.’ Denis walked back outside to meet the girls and started to play on the gambling machines. All of a sudden, he felt something crawl up his leg, and it made him jump. But it was only Ann playing one of her cheeky pranks. When they had stopped laughing, they showed him what they had bought.

‘We are just going to our cabin to change. We will see you later in the same place.’

‘All right, so’, Denis thought, ‘I will drop my trousers off in my cabin and take off my socks and put on my thongs to walk about in to get my feet tanned.’ He did just that and sat on the sun deck to finish reading the Canberra News.

When the girls arrived, they found Denis lying flat on his back on one of the sunbeds, shirt wide open, snoring his head off. They just let him sleep and did the same. Iris got up and started to put some suntan lotion on and thought she had better put some on Denis before it was too late and he got burnt, but he woke up.

‘Hi, love. What you doing?’

‘I was about to put some lotion on you before you burnt.’

‘I put it on already.’

‘What type of lotion did you use?’ asked Iris.

‘The best Brylcreem.’

‘Brylcreem? That’s not suntan lotion.’

‘I know, but it gives you a fantastic suntan. I used it in Italy. I was as brown as a berry.’

‘All right, suit yourself. Don’t come crying to me when you burn.’

They were there tanning themselves for about two hours, turning over on the hour to get an even tan when Denis jumped up and said, ‘I am going to put my swimming trunks on and go for a swim. It’s getting hot out here.’

The girls did