I Could Be Killing You

By Jeremy L. Main Sr.

Take a journey through a life being put to death. Ride along with a serial killer as he tells all. Come inside and explore the darker side of your soul. As you ride along with beauty and brutality, love and lust, undying friendship and the art of death itself. You will have to come inside to find out for yourself. One thing is for sure, once you walk in his shoes, you will never be the same again.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 10, 2014
• ISBN: 9781491848159

Jeremy L. Main Sr.

I have been writing since I was nine, nothing else comes more naturally. I write because I love to, and because I need to. The need to create something out of the realm of mediocrity. Turning fact into fiction, adding substance to intangibility, and giving life to raw imagination. My family are and always will be an amazing support system, and a constant inspiration. As are the majestic mountains of Montana, where I will always call home. On a final note I would like to thank everyone, from my dedicated readers to the person just now reading this entry, thank you for listening to my words.

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© 2014 Jeremy L Main Sr All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 12/27/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4918-4817-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4918-4816-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4918-4815-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013923689

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and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Preface

Chapter 1: A Bit of Blood

Chapter 2: My Stepdad is Trash

Chapter 3: The Mental Roller Coaster

Chapter 4: The Big Drop

Chapter 5: The Game

Chapter 6: He’s Gone

Chapter 7: Rushmore Falls

Chapter 8: Devil’s Cove

Chapter 9: The Vacation

Chapter 10: Adopted Faith

Chapter 11: Gator’s

Chapter 12: Fire Season

Chapter 13: Can’t See Death Coming

Chapter 14: An Eye For An Eye

Chapter 15: Home Again

Chapter 16: Fuck Chuck

Chapter 17: Fred is Dead

Chapter 18: Arrested For Murder

Chapter 19: Death Row

Dedicated to

Timothy A. Olsen

Died in August of 89

A TRUE FRIEND TO THE END

Preface

Come and journey with a life being put to death.

W ith all the anticipation of his last breath. He will take you to the edge and back, beyond the norm for you. Telling another his tale, but could it really be true. You’ll wait, hate, even feel like bait, but in the end you’ll think it’s great. Jay is the man and Max will come to melt into your mind. A truth will appear in Montana, but she’s not there to find. Your mind will change in so many ways, unable to stop reading for days and days. Nothing left to do but turn the page.

Now switch on the light and step on the stage.

Chapter One

A Bit of Blood

L ife started simple for me, our family was poor for one. I can remember seeing pictures of a one-room apartment, when I was just a baby, my mom, step-dad, my older sister, who was only eighteen months older, and me.

Mom worked part of the time and got welfare part of the time. She did the best she could for the way things were. She held a full-time job at a chip factory called Kitty Clover for over a year, right around the time I went to kindergarten. I was born on Christmas, so I had to start school late, at the age of six.

My step-dad was an entirely different story. To put it a nice way, he was a rotten, lazy, no-good son of a bitch! I know, that’s sounding disrespectful, but you didn’t have to live with him. So don’t judge what you know nothing about. Yeah, there are a few of you out there, that same kind of childhood, but it’s how you come out in the end.

You see, there are three kinds of people:

All the victims out there, living like sheep. That’s most you. People who control the things around them, and there is Me, an artist in its most simplistic form. I was not always that sure of myself, it took time to beat in all that confidence.

His name was Butch, my so-called stepfather who beat it into me every day. He did little repairs on cars in the driveway or in the street to get beer money. Many little jobs, it was 1977 and there was always some kind of money flying through the neighborhood. Especially with my mom’s brothers always smoking pot.

Back then, I had four uncles on my mom’s side, now I don’t really have any. No, they are not dead; they really have not been any part of my life since grandma Connie died. That is my mom’s mom; she was the glue that held them all together. She was deaf, and she still kicked ass. She was the best and bravest women I have ever met in my life. When I was in the third grade, she moved to Portland, Oregon, on her own and lived there for fifteen years before she died. After that, the family started to go their separate ways.

Now that you got a small picture of the way things sort of started, we can move on. I’ll finish that part and tell you about my real dad later on. So I’m going to start where my life really started to blossom.

As time went by, I began to major in manipulation, to beguile every situation in my favor. Either with my mind or just plain physically, and that was always my favorite. It had been six months since my stepdad disappeared, Mom had a full-time job waitressing, and we got into a three-bedroom house. Life was starting to look up and I only had a couple of weeks before I had to start Jr. High. Mom worked many hours so we got away with a lot of shit, Mare my older sister and me. I pushed everything my thirteenth year to the max.

Mare was going into High School as a freshman too. She did not leave things to pleasant for me at McMillan Jr. High. She was pretty, but a rough ass bitch when it came to attitude. She loved to fistfight like a dude, so from day one, people were trying to punch my ticket. The first day was mostly just orientation, so I started the day right and took a four-foot bong hit before I left. Things always seemed to go a little easier when I got a buzz. Anyway, I met a kind of cool person early in the day; we sat next to each other in homeroom. His name was Shawn. I liked him from the jump, even though most people thought he was a dork. I always looked for the potential in others where most could not see it. He has always been a great artist, even back then he was drawing murals on his bedroom wall with a pencil. You have never seen anything like it. When lunch came, I got my food and sat at the first empty table I saw. I figured I should get one of my own to start with. Shawn was the first to join me there. Welcome to my table. I said. I think he thought I was kidding, but he came to find out quick that I wasn’t bullshitting. It didn’t take long before I had three or four girls sitting with us.

Trina and Julie came first. Trina caught my eye right away. I just knew I had to make her mine and I figured to hook Shawn up with Julie. It took about a week before I had a full table of my kind of people. At first, Shawn did not initiate many conversations, but once he got to know me, I could not shut him up. Especially when he thought about me helping him get laid. Hell, he just wanted to feel a pair of titties at first. He was a real eager beaver when it came to that subject. The next day classes started and band was my first one. It didn’t even get started before a fight broke out. This guy tried to punch my ticket. Mare had beaten the crap out of his sister the year before, so he thought he would get some revenge on me. His name was Robert, somewhat stocky and just an inch shorter than I was. It was early and I was tired, so I had my feet up on a chair. He came over and grabbed my feet, then shoved them off. I jumped up and he pushed me into the file cabinet in the teacher’s office. Your sister hurt my sister last year and now you’re going to pay for it, said Robert with a snarl on his face. The other five guys in there just looked at him in amazement waiting for things to pop off. His fist clenched as a smile came to my face. His face started to change to concern as I threw my right fist up toward his face and brought my foot up into his gut. I smiled at everyone as he dropped to one knee. Now who’s getting hurt, bitch! And I’m just getting started, mother fucker! I growled as if I was demanding a response.

Oh God, He whimpered as a tear started to well up in his eye. That’s when I really went to work on him. I grabbed him by the hair and started to drag him out into the band room where everyone else was.

They all started yelling, Fight, fight! as the guys that were in the office locking the door and slid a wooden bench against the other door so no teachers could get in. Everyone was cheering as I began to slam his head into the instrument lockers. I must have bounced his head off every locker in the joint. He was battered and bleeding by time the teachers got through the door. They had to drag me away from him, which is the way it always ended when the teachers intervened. From that day forward, I was known as one crazy motherfucker and my reputation grew from there. There are people that are still scared of me to this day. Because they witnessed the damage, I did to others back in the day. I took the rest of the year to build upon that momentum. I started selling joints in school, then took that money and parlayed that into my gambling business. Before summer hit, I was rolling and I was pretty much running the school. I got into a few more fights with guys trying to keep me from taking over, but it always ended in the same way. The rest of the year was uneventful as my popularity grew out of defense for myself. Nothing you would have done differently, if you could have. Don’t give me that shit, some kids out there have killed to be popular and that is a fact. Remember when you were at that awkward, out of place and somewhat lost 13th year, floating in a sea of puberty. There is no other time like it in your life. Now that you got the gist of the beginning, I will jump ahead to the 8th grade.

I did get what I wanted; Trina and I were together for about nine months by this time. However, sadly enough, nothing lasts forever. It wasn’t going to be long before the two of us would be no more. Yeah, she was bar none the best-looking girlfriend I had up to that point. Nevertheless, she was like gas on a fire. She just seemed to find trouble and seek it out. The sex was great, but it was not enough to ignore the other things. She was the reason I got rid of Jason, to begin with anyway. Give me a minute and I will tell you who he was.

It was just a couple of days after school started. One of the guys I use to protect worked in the office part time, his name was Mark and he knew when all the new people were coming in. All sorts of interesting news he kept me up on, especially when they planned to raid the lockers. It was early that morning when Mark came running down the hall and trying his best to get my attention. Jay, Jay, Mark yelled while waving his arms up in the air. I stopped and turned around to look. He was sort of out of breath when he got to me.

Catch your breath and then tell me what’s up, okay? I told him as I put my hand on his shoulder.

You got to hear this. There are two new guys starting today! He said very quickly.

Okay, thanks for letting me know, I replied and gave him a little grin. I knew he was totally loyal because I never let anyone mess with him. He always looked like you could just pick him up and snap him in half.

No, you don’t understand. They expelled from their old school for extortion, from what I read of their records, they were bulling a lot of money out of people. They have been doing it for years; they live right next door to each other. I overheard, while I was in the office, Mr. Haynes saying that he did not like the fact that both their parents made it possible for them to go to the same school together again. He thought they should have been split up, because it meant nothing but trouble for the school. One is black the other is white, Mark explained.

Thanks, just keep me in the loop if you hear anything else, I told him as I patted him on the back and then walked away. All I could think about was to put them down fast and hard! I headed straight up to my locker on the third floor. I needed to get my head on straight and ketch a buzz. I snagged it out the locker and before I shut the door to walk away, there was Shawn.

Just the guy I was looking for. I don’t know what’s more frustrating, me not getting laid yet or how much I want that human blood, said Shawn sort of looking down at the floor.

I really need to catch a buzz, if I heard you correctly, so just follow me to the bathroom hideout, I told him as we took off before the bell rung. I wanted to make sure we didn’t run into any teachers, I had enough on my mind as it was. We would go into the upstairs restrooms, climb up on the stalls and go up in the drop ceiling. Just pop the panel out and get on the back wall of the bathroom. We could sit up there all day, completely undetected.

Look, let me talk without you saying anything until I’m done. First I am going to light this blunt. Now, you got two new players on the field this morning and the word is that they are partners and they played it real dirty at their last school. We will have to extinguish this shit fast. You know there is going to be a fight, so pull all the lose cash we have together and get the odds going. Tyson will be running the other bank, so drop six hundred on him right off, before the fight. If he is running odds against me, we can break the bank, and then we will get all the bets from now on. Make sure you tell him I want my cash first when I win. Then I took a big hit off the blunt.

Now explain to me about the blood, I said toughly, so I made sure I got my point across.

Okay, first thing, are you going to push this thing today? he asked.

Yeah, I got a feeling, I’m not going to have to push much to get things popping, I answered.

In theory I think I can be a vampire, I just need some human blood to prove it. Don’t look at me like that, I need your help with this or I’ll end up getting caught, He explained with a very sincere face.

Okay, chill out, just get done with what I asked you to, take care of it and I’ll figure something out about your blood. Can’t have you getting caught, Roxanne and Brenda wouldn’t be happy with me if I let that happen. I told him.

I know he did not care for the idea, but he knew I wanted to bone both of those sisters of his. A few years later, I did bone Brenda; we messed around for a while before she got divorced. She couldn’t handle the big one very well though. In her defense, her husband was a dick. He ignored her and was always at the titty bars, which made no sense. Brenda had nice 38d size breasts, a great ass, pretty eyes and she loved to kiss.

Roxanne, on the other hand, was a bit taller, with smaller breasts and hypnotic eyes. It had been a long while before her 30th birthday since she had been laid, so I was going to make her come. Brenda threw a party for her and all night I was hinting to her. I knew she wanted to, but she got drunk way to fast, so we had to put her to bed. I went in and checked on her about twenty minutes later. I talked to her a little bit.

I sat down on the bed facing her; I knew she was too wasted to do anything. I told her maybe another day I would sex her up, then I leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. At the same time, she was running her right hand up the inside of my thigh and did not stop until she had her hand on my package, it got hard as a rock too.

I’m touching you like a woman, you touch me like a man, please, She said to entice me. I put my hand on her hand between my legs; I then leaned in and kissed her on the lips. I lifted up her hand and kissed her on it, told her happy birthday, and walked away. Nobody even noticed me go in or come out, no one ever knew. Nothing ever happened between us after that, but I always thought, if I would have made her come, she could have turned out to be a different woman. Anyway, I will get back to the main story. You know, everyone out there has or will pass on something they will regret the rest of their lives. So celebrate when it’s mutual. It always has a chance to be the best sex of your life!

Shawn had a couple of hits, but I smoked most of that blunt. After that, we got down and walked to the office, I got a late slip as if we just got to school. It was only twenty till, so we were not very late for our first classes.

By the second period, I was starting to hear shit about this pretty boy, blond punk and a big black muscle motherfucker. It is OK to say black, because half the school was. It was a great environment; it just got a little crazy sometimes. There were beautiful girls of all different races. I love all beautiful women and they would love me after one night! I am not bragging, it is just a fact.

Third period was gym and I got a look at the black one. I saw him in the locker room and they were right. He took his shirt off and everything was defined muscle. He was also a foot taller then me. It was too early to intervene; I needed to get the bet up a bit. I had seen Tyson talking to him in the corner of the gym. I could tell he was getting shit revved up and pointing me out without really pointing. Everything was playing right into my plans; I just had to be patient. Everything stayed about the same until lunch, when I hooked back up with Shawn again. Trina and Julie were already at the table. Shawn went to sit down, as I was getting ready to get my food. It did not take long for me to get to the table, but as I was approaching, I could tell the girls were being sneaky. About what was the question? I sat down quick and got right up in her ear.

What are you talking about? I said a little loud to scare them both.

If you really must know, Trina and I were talking about the new blond guy named Jason; he has really beautiful blue eyes. Isn’t that right Trina? Julie revealed with a smile on her face.

Yeah, he does have pretty eyes, very pretty eyes, Trina said looking over at me.

Well he won’t be very pretty when I knock his eyes out of his fucking head! I said with a little bit of anger."

Oh, chill out, your blue eyes are prettier than his, Trina said and then gave me a kiss.

I turned and told Shawn what I knew about the situation and just then, Jason walked through the door.

The odds are three to one against you, Shawn said somewhat worried.

Don’t sweat it; put the six hundred on me after lunch. It’s going to blow wide open before the day is out, I told him with extreme confidence, as I looked him right in the eyes. Trina and Julie wrenched their necks from the way it looked, as they spun around. Maybe it was just me, but it looked like he surveyed the lunchroom, and then fixed his eyes right on Trina. It was as if a fire had started in my gut and worked right up into my heart. I was much more emotional back in the day than I am now. He seemed to stand there forever, as if he was showing himself off and I was about to show him a little something else. I jumped up like a volcano that had erupted.

Where are you going, Jay? asked Trina.

I’m going to teach this punk ass bitch some manners! I told her as Shawn followed me away. I walked straight at him, looking him in the face the whole way. It did not take long before he got fixated on me, as I got closer and closer. I have been riled up before, but I thought I was just going to snap. Without him saying anything, he seemed cocky, as if he could take any pussy in the room. I didn’t stop until I got about five inches from his face.

I am the only one I have ever known who could calculate a situation as fast as I did. Yeah, I could have just blasted him right in the head and beat him to dust, but what would that have gained me. I wanted him to think I wasn’t that sure of myself. If it was going to work in my favor; he thought he had the upper hand in it. I knew he was the brains of the outfit just by the look of him and if I did not play the situation right he may have worked the deal into his hand. However, I was never going to let that happen and I never did.

I don’t know where the fuck you think you are, but you better get your eyes off my female. I told him, as Shawn stood behind me as if he was the Mack. He always looked the part as if he was ready to throw down. I’m just glad he never really had to, he has never been the fighting type and he never will be. He did not have it in him, he was going to be the greatest artist of my generation, and he just never recognized his own fabulous talent.

Oh, is that one yours? I just thought that would be the first one at this one I would take advantage of, Jason rebutted as if he had all the confidence in the world.

I am not about to put up with any of your bullshit, I run this mother fucker and I am about to show you why! I told him with a snarl on my face.

Your body guard looks a little small to help you when you get your ass beat down, He said to push me.

I don’t need a bodyguard; I am the brains and the muscle. I don’t need anyone to take care of my mess, but myself, I explained.

Well you must be Jay. I heard you were the man around here, He said.

Were my ass, mother fucker. What do you think; you can take me out of office? It will never happen; no one will ever make it happen. So just shut your fucking face before I shut it for you! I said as I started to get loud and pushing right up in his face. I could tell he was scared, but he didn’t want it to look like he was going to back off. I could tell he really wanted to be saved, from me and just then, it happened.

Is there a problem gentlemen? asked Mr. Haynes, as he got right up between us.

No, I was just introducing myself and now I am going to go eat, I said as I started to walked away. I could see everyone looking my way and every guy looked disappointed in me for not blasting on him. Before I left lunchroom, the fight became even bigger.

I know you’re new here but if I was you, I would stay away from Jay. I wouldn’t want to see you get beat down in your first week. Mr. Haynes told him as I walked away. It put a big smile on my face to hear him say that on my behalf. Even he knew I was serious. I kept a certain amount of order, which helped him, but he still wanted to kick me the fuck out of school. As soon as I sat back down Trina turned her body away from me to show how pissed she was. It didn’t matter any at that moment, because I knew after that he was going to get his boy to retaliate quickly and I loved the way I was getting everything to play right into my hands. I felt like there wasn’t anything I could not do.

You were right, it looks like it’s defiantly going to pop off today, Shawn said with a big smile on his face. I know it, so stay clear when it does. I don’t want to see you get hurt. He’s a pretty big fucker and I’m probably going to have to put him through a wall. I told him. As Jason was walking, in the line, a plan was starting to form in my head and the more I thought about it, the more devious it got. You see anger is a way for most people to flip out on another, not me; I use it as a motivator. I am not like some gang banger who will run up on your car, stick a gun in your face while not wearing a mask and tell you to get the fuck out your car. You hesitate even a moment and he will blow your fucking brains out. Your brains fly out the side of your head and splat against the inside of the car, as the blood flows out of the hole. Then it only takes a few seconds to open the door and throw your body out onto the concrete. Sloppy and out in the open, as if they are calling ahead to get a reservation for prison. How stupid can you get, eventually you are going to be caught.

I think I came up with an idea about your blood situation, but it’s not going to happen till this weekend. I will need you to put a few things together for it, but I want you to consider what is important now. About fifty percent of the bets are going to come our way. You get twenty percent of the profit we make so rake in as many as you can and run the same odds as Tyson is, I explained with a smile on my face.

You want me to run the odds against you? He asked.

Yeah, we stand to make more money that way. Everyone betting for me will place their bets with Tyson and the others will bet with both. One way or another we break Tyson and take over all the bets running through school. Sound like a good plan? I asked after I pushed the rest into his brain.

Yeah, it sounds great, I’m going to get started now, so I will catch you later, He said and then he took off.

What are you and Shawn up to now? There is no reason for you to hurt Jason, Trina said.

You mess around with him, I will put him down for good! You think I’m kidding, I might fuck you up too! Don’t play like you weren’t staring at him and that’s all I got to say about that! I expressed to her in that way, because she had a little smirk on her face. I just shook my head and walked away. I had too much on my mind to deal with her now. Stick and move that is how you don’t get hit back in the face.

First things first, I needed to roll out the setup, everything has rules and a flow, this was no different. You roll with it right and it will work out to your advantage every time. First, I needed a piece of meat and the tiger holding onto it. The right pick would make all the difference. I needed a bit of fact flirtation, a little confirmation and a large amount of retaliation. It did not take me long to walk smack dab into inspiration. I got about twenty feet down the hall and I spied four girls huddled up at a locker. One of them was Renee and she was going to help me without even knowing it. I got real close and went down as if I needed to tie my shoe. They really didn’t notice me at first, so I caught the part of the conversation that I needed to.

That new guy is so hot, and I wonder who he is going to try to get with first, said Candy.

I don’t think he is going to have to try very hard, if you know what I mean, said Renee with a smile on her face. I hopped up real quick to ensure they would look my way.

What were you doing down there, Jay? Trying to listen in our little gossip session? asked Renee.

I was just tying my shoe, but I couldn’t help overhearing. You should know I overheard some talk in the lunch line about you, I told Renee as I shook my head up and down.

What did you hear? asked Renee with a smile as she looked around at the other girls.

They were behind me by a little bit, so I didn’t see who, but the first thing I did hear was your full name. That is when I really tried to hear what was up. They said the new guy was checking you out and wanted to get up on you. I am just letting you know, because if Jack hears that shit he will probably come down on you too. You know how jealous he gets, he is going to think you’ve been trying to get with that guy behind his back. And you know I’m right, I explained to her with a worried look on my face, because the only way to play this was all the way. She then got a real worried look on her face and thought for a second before she opened her mouth again.

You’re my friend, right? So will you help me talk to him? She asked as if she could see death creeping up on her.

You know it, I got your back. I got him in my next class, so I will fix it all then. Don’t worry so much, the next time you see him he will have a smile on his face for you. Just remember, you tell him you never even talked to that guy and you cannot help what other people are saying. Then just love him up a bit and he’ll forget all about it, I told her.

That would be so great and I would owe you big time! She replied with a kind of half smile.

I know it, I’ll collect from you one of these days, I said with a smile as I walked away. One thing would roll right into the other and I loved it. I just needed to work on Jack the right way and I could turn my hand into four aces. You see Jack was not just any random guy I knew, he was my third cousin and I grew up around Renee. They had been together for quite a while at that time, so they were always close enough to work through the little shit or just plain blow it off. That is why I knew I could manipulate the situation in my favor. Jack and I were not close to each other back then, but I could get him to work with me on this, thinking it was for him all along. Especially if I served it up like a dish that, he loved. It only took me a few minutes to get down near my next class, and that is when I spotted Jack. I got to him before he went in.

I’m glad I caught you, I said.

Why, what’s up? He asked.

You need to know about the punk fucker digging on Renee. It is the new guy, but she has not even talked to him, so don’t jump to conclusions. He’s been scoping on a lot of guy’s girls, but I got a plan to put this fucker down, I told him with a smile on my face.

Whatever it is, I’m down with that! He replied.

Friday night there is going to be a party out at the park and I want you to invite him. I know that sounds stupid, but you need to look like a friend before you bring the pain, I told him with a wink and a nod.

All right, I’m with it, so what’s the rest? He asked in reply with a grin.

I want you to get some of the boys in on this, only about ten of them. It’s only time before he tries to Mack on their girls too. You all treat him very nice to get him to come, even offer to give him a ride. After you guys all get there, wait to make the play until the party gets jumping and the music’s bumping. That’s when you ask him to go off away from the party to smoke a joint. Of course, he is going to say yes and that is when things get started. Make sure no one follows you, guys, so you can cover yourselves, coming back out. If no one sees you guys go in with him and no one sees you guys come back out, then you guys were never back there with him. That way he can’t hurt you guys with the cops. All you guys have to do is stick together and tell them you guys never even left the party. Once you get him nice and high, just beat his ass into dust. Make that pretty face look like a raw piece of meat and hit him a couple times in the face for me, I explained.

Why aren’t you coming to the party? he asked.

No, I jumped in his face earlier, so he would probably leave the party pretty quick. That and I’m going to have to beat his buddies’ ass before the day is out, I said.

Yeah, I heard something about that. I heard he is a pretty big bastard, he replied with a tilt of his head.

Bet on him if you like, but I don’t plan on loosing. Oh yeah before I forget, make sure all you guys wear boats. In fact get every guy that you know is going to wear them too, hell call it a boat party. I told him.

Why would we all wear boats? And what’s that got to do with anything? He asked with a confused look on his face.

"Look, if he was to try and prove you guys were on the spot he got beat down, the cops can match up different shoe prints to try and nab you guys. I’m just trying to keep your ass out