The Weight Odyssey: Journey from the Fat Self to the Authentic Self

By Iris Canham-Gezane

Why have you been battling with weight? The Weight Odyssey offers a deep reflection of why people think of themselves as fat, are fat, the causes of fat and the correlation between fat and our realities shaped by our thoughts and the fat self. This book offers an incredible opportunity for self discovery and exploration of mind, body, emotions. Once you deal with mind issues and emotions, the fat melts away. So pack away the diets, diet pills for good- fat be-gone! Be prepared to welcome the authentic self who has been waiting for you to unleash!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Oct 31, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465384232

Iris Canham-Gezane

Iris Canham-Gezane is an International Speaker, Transformation Coach and Community Nutritionist with qualifications in Food Science, Behavioral Studies and holistic health. She has appeared on numerous radio shows in South Africa addressing personal and business transformation from a spiritual perspective. Passionate about people and developing their full potential through challenging life circumstances, Iris develops concepts and training programs to help individuals and companies soar to new heights. In addition, Iris develops and facilitates holistic retreats for mind, body and spirit to return to wholeness. She resides in Johannesburg South Africa with her husband and daughter.

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Copyright © 2011 by Iris Canham-Gezane.

Library of Congress Control Number:       2011918913

ISBN:         Hardcover                               978-1-4653-6660-3

                   Softcover                                 978-1-4653-6659-7

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4653-8423-2

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

The author does not dispense medical advice or prescribe any form of treatment without the direct or indirect advice of a physician. The intent is to offer information to help you on a quest to wholeness. The author assumes no responsibility for the use of this book as a substitute for therapy.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

0-800-644-6988

www.xlibrispublishing.co.uk

[e-mail]

302531

CONTENTS

PART ONE THE JOURNEY AWAY FROM SELF

Chapter One A Fat Myth

Chapter Two How Did You Get Here?

Chapter Three The Ripple Effect of Fat

Chapter Four You Purchase Your Life With Your Thoughts

PART TWO THE JOURNEY BACK TO THE AUTHENTIC SELF

Chapter Five Would the Authentic Self Please Stand Up!

Chapter Six Error of the Mind

Chapter Seven Transforming Your Emotions

Chapter Eight Transforming Your Body

Chapter Nine The Evolution

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I would like to thank every author that I have referred to in this book. You have provided the aha moments on this odyssey.

Borysenko, Joan and Dveirin Gordon, Saying Yes to Change (Hay House Inc, 2006).

Chopra Deepak, Ford Debbie, Williamson Marianne, The Shadow Effect (HarperCollins, 2010).

Chopra Deepak, The Book of Secrets (Random House Publishers, 2004).

Dyer, Wayne, Inspiration, Your Ultimate Calling (Hay House Inc, 2006).

Gawain, Shakti, The Four Levels of Healing (Nataraj Publishing, 1997).

Glennie, Cat Ride the River (Penguin Books, 2003).

Hay Louise, Experience Your Good Now (Hay House Inc, 2010).

Hay, Louise, You Can Heal Your Body (Hay House Inc, 1988).

Hay, Louise, You Can Heal Your Life (Hay House Inc, 1999).

Hicks Ester and Jerry, Ask and it is Given (Hay House Inc, 2004).

Holden, Robert, Happiness Now (Hay House Inc, 2007).

Millman, Dan The Laws of Spirit (New World Library, 1995).

Myss, Caroline, Anatomy of the Spirit (Bantam Books, 1998).

Prophet, Elizabeth, Predict Your Future (Summit University Press, 2004)

Wauters, Ambika, Journey of Self Discovery (Judy Piatkus Publishers, 1996).

INTRODUCTION

Her little palms are drenched in perspiration as she enters the outside gates leading to her home. The family dog, Tiger, who is usually very playful, lies asleep just outside his kennel. The little seven-year-old girl knows that something feels wrong. The silence is deafening. Her home feels eerie, and she is frightened. With her pounding heart and the deafening silence, she can barely hear herself as she calls out to her mom, dad, brother, and sisters. There is no response. Her knees weaken as she approaches a door separating the kitchen from the breakfast nook. The door screeches. What awaits her behind the screeching door was unimaginable. Six lifeless bodies—the bodies of her mom; dad; brother, Tim; and sisters, Belinda, Beryl, and Melissa—lay on the carpeted floor of her parents’ bedroom. The entire family was ‘poisoned’ by the girl. It was not her intention to kill her family, how could she? Yet this in her mind remained a heinous crime whether it was an accident or not. Her poison was self-expression—talking about an experience which tore the family apart. She is consumed by grief, guilt, and shame. Afraid of what people might think, she goes into the backyard and digs up six make-shift graves to bury the bodies. She drags each body—one by one into an individual make-shift grave. ‘Dear God’ she begins . . . and her body suddenly shifts from that dream state to reality.

That little seven-year-old girl was me. Reality was my little bedroom in Ladysmith, Natal, South Africa. It was a summer’s Sunday morning in October 1983. The shift that brought me out of dream state to reality was the exotic infusion of spices in the macaroni and baked chicken. That was definitely Mom’s cooking—a clear indication that I had experienced a nightmare. Excited about this notion, I jumped out of bed and ran into the kitchen. Hugging Mom, whilst, I peeped at the side of her waist at the roasting pan that she used to bake the chicken. I headed for the bread bin, grabbed three slices of bread, and unglazed the roasting pan with sheer delight. That fearful experience had roots in how I viewed life at that time and what emotions, thoughts, and feelings were shaping my reality. As soon as I realised it was a nightmare, I reached for what I believed was my greatest comforter and that was food. I was eating to numb the emotions, eating to numb the pain. This period in my life was the birthing of the fat self. The self that I struggled with for many years to come, yet it was understanding that part of me, which has brought me to the freedom I feel today. There was a definite correlation between my nightmare and the eating disorder that I started to develop at this tender age of seven. The nightmare suggested my deepest fears, insecurities about life, and the qualities and aspects contained in my loved ones that I lacked or believed I lacked. I was too young to understand that this experience was a catalyst for transformation. It was the most profound nightmare of my life yet it gave me signs of what I was running away from—my divine self. I may have revelled in Dad’s power and strength, Mom’s compassion and warmth, my eldest sister Belinda’s writing abilities and popularity, my brother Tim’s analytical abilities and deep thinking, little sister Beryl’s outspoken attitude, confidence, and creativity, and baby sister Melissa’s innocence, charm, and humour. I secretly wished for my own death, not feeling good enough and certainly not good enough to live. I felt extreme shame, guilt, and possibly anger and resentment. Plagued by a recent life-changing incident, I discovered many years later that I was detached from the wholeness and became fat as a result of the detachment. The whole self is filled with joy, love, and sees itself in divine perfection. A vital part of me had separated from the whole in order for the rest of me to survive an experience and escape the pain. The unprocessed pain soon translates to a deep suffering that we only become aware of when we assess our lives and the ripple effect that incidents may have played in our lives. When the emotions and pain that I felt as the confused, hurt, shameful, and angry seven-year-old resurfaced, my behavioural reaction was similar to that of the seven-year-old who resorted to excessive eating of fatty food to ease the pain. It took many years to discover that my abuse of food, emotional eating patterns, and eating disorders that I experienced were linked to how I felt about myself. My perspective of me was no longer one of divine love, but rather of a range of faults coupled with anger, self-rejection, and insecurity.

By age nine, my self-resentment deepened as I longed for new beginnings. Afraid that my family would suffer the huge fate as in the nightmare, which I believe was a reflection of my fears, I did not utter a word to anyone about my pain. In this state of resentment, I created what I could only describe then as a persona. My persona, Nicole, was a beautiful woman in her early thirties who besides my diary seemed to be my biggest confidante. She was similar to an imaginary friend except that she was a star in the movie that I created in my head. For hours, every day, I would find myself in dreamland, close my eyes and visualise an ideal life, and out would pop this character Nicole and an ideal life. On the one hand, it seemed like my wise self knew about visualisation and creating a positive image of someone you want to become. On the other hand, my ashamed, hurtful self used this as an opportunity for further self-destruction. You see, Nicole was unlike Iris—she was multi-talented, a powerful teacher and speaker, dancer, extremely confident, and very successful entrepreneur. It was difficult to me to believe that I deserved that life because of who I believed I was. Nicole and her life was an escape from reality, and in my dullest and deepest moments of despair, I closed my eyes and imagined living that great life when I grew older. Sadly, as I suppressed the pain, I reached out more and more to food, and the movies in my head started resembling my self-destructive life. Nicole was no longer a true reflection of beauty, and I could no longer imagine that life I wanted to live. Not being able to reach out to that fantasy any longer, I turned to excessive food to numb my emotions. I had experienced eating disorders, which developed very early in my life. I was bulimic as a teenager, obese when I was nineteen, and had a love-hate relationship with food. Being obese, having eating disorders, and a compulsive relationship with food are all forms of dis-ease which suggest a lack of harmony between mind, body, and spirit. In many cases, a single event has a ripple effect on our thoughts and how we act out.

Why another book on weight loss? I would not like to view this as another book on losing weight, but a book on finding yourself by understanding your issues with weight. We are living in exciting times, yet we are facing one of the greatest tests in history. So much knowledge is available to us now, and we are being called to live a more conscious life that is in synergy with the world around us and our planet. Raising our level of consciousness helps us to understand that we all have a specific role to play in this world in raising human consciousness. As challenging as this is, we still live in a world of instant gratification. Wanting it now, robs us of an opportunity to really assess why we are the way we are now or why we do not have the bodies that we want now and use discovery to transform our lives and the people around us. Surely, it may be a lot easier to buy a box of pills and follow a strict diet and exercise regime, but is it sustainable on all levels of existence, that is, mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally? It is time to meet the authentic self