Anthony and Me: A Mother's Memoir on Her Son's Drug Addiction

By Vincenzina Urzia

I gave birth to a second baby boy Anthony, he was just gorgeous. Anthony attended play group, school, and played sport. We were a happy family. At the age of fourteen he started using marijuana and slowly progressed into other drugs as well, it went on for about eleven years. While on drugs my son wasn't the same person anymore, drugs really changed him. About four years after abusing drugs my son was diagnosed with psychosis and schizophrenia, it's a mental illness that no mother wants to watch her child go through.

My son dies and part of me died with him. It's March 2014; I'm still struggling to accept that my son is really gone. I can't see him anymore , can't touch him , can't hear him , can't hug him . But I will wipe the tears from my eyes, pretend to smile and show the world that I'm strong. But inside I'm dying, feeling the pain and loss like that first moment. It felt like my soul was leaving my body. I could scream!! Scream!! Miss you my darling son. RIP. Love mum.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: May 2, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499001518

Vincenzina Urzia

I gave birth to a second baby boy Anthony, he was just gorgeous. Anthony attended play group, school, and played sport. We were a happy family. At the age of fourteen he started using marijuana and slowly progressed into other drugs as well, it went on for about eleven years. While on drugs my son wasn't the same person anymore, drugs really changed him. About four years after abusing drugs my son was diagnosed with psychosis and schizophrenia, it's a mental illness that no mother wants to watch her child go through. My son dies and part of me died with him. It's March 2014; I'm still struggling to accept that my son is really gone. I can't see him anymore , can't touch him , can't hear him , can't hug him . But I will wipe the tears from my eyes, pretend to smile and show the world that I'm strong. But inside I'm dying, feeling the pain and loss like that first moment. It felt like my soul was leaving my body. I could scream!! Scream!! Miss you my darling son. RIP. Love mum.

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Copyright © 2014 by Vincenzina Urzia.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Rev. date: 04/29/2014

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Contents

Acknowledgement

Testimony

To the memory of my son Anthony Urzia, to all the young people, and all the mums in the world.

Anthony was a beautiful, caring, passionate, intelligent young man who brought vitality and enthusiasm into our lives. He was respectful to himself and others, his presence was peaceful, nurturing, supportive, and patient. He was very gentle.

Information technology was his passion. He designed his own web page, and this was to be his career. His talents were many—he was an artist, a writer—full of creative expression who could paint many scenes of life. Sadly Anthony passed away on the 23 November 2011, aged 25. Anthony has written a book of his own and talked about his journey into this world. The book is called Tapestries of Life’s Poetries. I want to thank Anthony for all the beautiful memories he left me. The bond between Anthony and me remains forever strong. His legacy lives on, as a gift to us all.

To all the young people.

Many young people use drugs today to try and manage their problems in their lives or maybe they’re pressured by their peers. Sometimes drug use can have serious effect on someone’s life, they even cause death. If you got some kind of problem, please talk to someone. Drugs don’t solve your problems, they add even more, they come with a big price to pay. They will ruin your life.

Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. I have never come across anyone on drugs that had any success in life. Most people I know that used drugs end up in a mental hospital or they’re still at home with their parents because they don’t have any motivation to do anything and they’re suffering from depression, anxiety, psychosis, schizophrenia, paranoia, and more. My son was a sufferer of all that for more than ten years before he passed away. Please never touch drugs. Don’t worry about what your friends think of you, don’t do what they do. Let me tell you that you’re a beautiful human being. Please stay that way. Do it for yourself and your parents, because they love you very much even if you don’t believe it, but they do. Don’t cause them pain.

To all the mums in the world.

Can a mother ever forget her nursing child, the love that she had for that child? A mother’s love should be like a circle, it has no beginning and no ending. Having children doesn’t make you a mother, any woman can give birth.

A mother should love her children even when they least deserve to be loved. In the blink of an eye, everything can change and you may never get the chance to tell them how much you really loved your children.

We take everything and everyone for granted in this life. I’ve loved and supported my son to the end of his life. I can live my life not feeling guilty and not having any regrets. Anthony Urzia: RIP. You never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory.

Acknowledgement

I would like to thank my husband Giovanni; my son Matthew and his partner Cathy, the mother of my grandson Carter; my friends Maria and Nicole for their love and support. Thank you to the Xlibris team that worked so hard publishing my story. A very special thank-you goes to Dori Jules, my publishing consultant, for her encouragement and support from start to finish; without her, there would not have been a story to read.

I would like to thank Dori Jules from Xlibris publishing company and my friends who encouraged me to publish my son’ s poetries. Publishing my son’s poetries gave me a reason to keep going. At that point in life, I really needed a bit of distraction, I was going downhill so fast and missing my son so bad, I was hurting everywhere. I didn’t care if I lived or died. I had to stay strong because I had to fulfil my son’s dream. I know his desire was to write and publish a book one day, but he never had the chance to do it himself. He has suffered and struggled so much in his life, he wanted to share his story with others and hoped that someone is going to learn from his mistakes.

The publishing process was a good experience for me and kept me busy for about four to five months. During the publishing process, I was strong enough not to give in to my emotions. I know I was just blocking them. Publishing my son’s poetries was very important to me. From time to time, a question pops up into my head: how am I going to feel once the book has been published? Am I to keep going or pick up where I left off? I had this fear inside of me not knowing how I was going to feel, it was actually scary.

Five months later, the death of my son is still so fresh in my mind, and I’m not surprised at all because the death of a son or daughter is an unimaginable and unmeasurable loss no parent ever expected to face. No one can truly understand my grief unless they have lived themselves. Everyone’s grief is the same, but it is different in so many ways. It depends on the age of the person, how the person died. My son’s death was so sudden, I wasn’t prepared for it. It