Treasure or Baggage

By Shongi Mangwanda

Treasure or Baggage is for every good-willed person who wants to make major shifts in their lives. Change is inevitable after reading this book. It helps you define your marriage or life as a treasure. There are dos and donts for success. There is a renewal of the mind that leads to the decolonisation of the mind, that will cause you to leap with inner joy, leading to total emancipation of the reader and their surroundings, all illustrated in Treasure or Baggage. Read it, reread it, then stand amazed as you see the hidden inner person emerging and blossoming to bring about the best of you in you

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Dec 11, 2013
• ISBN: 9781493118106

Shongi Mangwanda

She is a well-renowned teacher, counsellor, and a successful mother of three. Her parents were very instrumental in bringing her up. The author has a strong marital blueprint that she learnt from her parents. As she grew up, she realised how marriage and children were violated, causing her heart to bleed, resulting in her deciding to go the pen-and-paper way so that people would not regret anything in the end, saying, ‘If only I had known, I should have been there for my family.’ Her strongest conviction is that peace and tranquillity prevails in every home.

Book preview

Copyright © 2013 by Shongi Mangwanda.

ISBN:      Softcover      978-1-4931-1809-0

                Ebook            978-1-4931-1810-6

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

All the pictures and graphics in this book were developed by my son Tafadzwa Keith Mangwanda.

Rev. date: 12/06/2013

King James Version and the New International Version

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris LLC

0-800-056-3182

www.xlibrispublishing.co.uk

[e-mail]

521371

CONTENTS

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DEDICATION

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

BIBLIOGRAPHY

DEDICATION

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This book is dedicated to my mother Juliet and my father Amios Nyeperai Muusha, who has now gone to be with Jesus, who taught me not to be womanly in life. When we were growing up, we did not have a brother. Our brother only came later and happens to be the last, so our parents used to say there is no work for boys or girls, so we used to do any type of work. Little did I know that I would need that training in life so that I could raise my children! Thank you for being there for us. I pledge to do the same for your grandchildren (Tafadzwa, Tapiwanashe, and Chiedza).

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

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The author wishes to acknowledge with thanks:

1. Jesus, the One who opened my inner eyes, awakened me to a completely new world of opportunities by his grace, and I will forever be grateful unto him.

2. My parents, Juliet and Amios Nyeperai Muusha. Thank you for the marital blueprint you handed down to us. I would not be here today if it were not for that strong background you gave us.

3. To my pastors, Dr Pilot and Prophetess Irene Mudavanhu, God used you to ground me in the truth of his Word. Will forever thank God for you.

4. My children Tafadzwa, Tapiwanashe, and Chiedza, I am exceedingly grateful to God for the affirmations and support you gave me. Chiedza, I love you. Tafadzwa and Tapiwanashe, I respect you guys. Your picture contribution to this work is a true reflection of the unity prevailing amongst us, and we give God the glory.

5. Tumi Nwamadi, thank you for supporting the vision. You started just as my CEO, extending to be a prayer friend that supported this vision.

6. Bright Start Prayer Group: Jackie Modika, Natasha Lanka, Tumi Nwamadi, Larry Chuku, Anneline Pretorius, Roan, Eddie, Pieter Van Niekerk, Rhoda Mutenaunga, Pelontle Beautiful Leagile, and Maggie Coetzer, you are a force to reckon with.

7. Lee Summers, you are the best at what you do. You persuaded me to have this book project done. Thank you for the gusto; you handed over the baton stick to me and now are running.

8. Last and not least, my editor-Shalini Kurien John. Thank you for a job well done. You really proved that to me that editing is your business. I was not expecting such prompt feedback. Thank you.

CHAPTER 1

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MARRIAGE

THE ORIGINAL PURPOSE

The fall of marriage is the fall of the human race. Once people are married, the Word of God warns us that let no man separate them. Marriage is something for people to enjoy, and even man himself (Adam) was happy with God’s plan for his life.

This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman for she was taken out of man. (Gen. 2: 23)

It’s not God who told man to say these words, but the man himself appreciating how God could be so mindful of him to give him a wife, a companion, a partner, and a helper, one whom he could do virtually anything with and this was to be for life. In the eyes of God, this was a covenant only death had the power to reverse.

The thing is God saw Adam in urgent needed of a helper, not only a helper, a suitable one, because God knew that it was not good enough for a man to be alone. Adam himself acknowledged the supremacy of God by calling Eve ‘bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh’ and went on to name her ‘woman’, since she was taken out of his body. The Message Bible even highlights the excitement in Adam when it says about the same scripture, the man said:

Finally! Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh! Call her woman.

God’s perspective of marriage was and is still considered a permanent one despite all the odds. It was to be an ‘until death do us part thing’. Why? Because if God gives you a suitable helper and a companion, what then makes you want to think that you are wiser than God? You seek divorce, taking yourself out of God’s plan and purpose for your life; you think you now know the suitable wife/husband for you? Whose choice is more dependable: yours or God’s?

Adam himself said ‘finally’, implying that life was meaningless without Eve, and he even exclaimed that at last Eve has come to keep him company as bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh, likening the marriage unity with the perfect functioning of one’s own members of his or her body parts. None of us can wake up one day and decide they want their leg amputated, because that single act will affect the entire body. Instead, when the leg is hurting, the whole body will suffer. Hence, we will do everything in our capacity to have it fixed in the shortest possible time and keep it in a sound state. Remember Adam named her ‘WO-MAN’, accepting that she was a man like him but the only difference was she had a ‘womb’, indicating that she was the one ordained by God to be his seed carrier as far as reproduction is concerned. This designation made Eve a very special, delicate, and above all, the most important person that Adam could ever get under the sun.

Every marriage therefore is a call within a call. Eve’s purpose in Adam’s life was not for sex and reproduction only, as the world might want to paint it nowadays, though it is included in the package. Spiritually, they were supposed to join forces because the Word of God says one can chase a thousand and two can chase ten thousand. God created the marriage union for people to enjoy. Why not go ahead and enjoy it when life is so short?

Enjoy life with your wife (husband), whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun all your meaningless days. (Eccles. 9: 9)

The Word of God again says, two are better than one, for they have a better reward in their labour, and if one falls, the other one will lift him/her. God had it all worked out for cheering us up.

God is smarter than we are; he created marriage to represent the relationship that Jesus has with the church. So to all the men out there, you should know what you mean when you say you want to marry someone. Literally what you will be saying is, ‘I will be like Jesus to you.’ Most men do not mean it to this depth nowadays. More so, Jesus did not get a good deal from it, but his love for the church never changed. Women are also called to have a heart like Jesus’s, not only the men. In short, the two parties are called to mean what they will be committing themselves to.

Very often, before you start talking to a person, you may have a high regard for them, but when you begin to talk to them, that is when you can rate them and probably classify them as either wise or foolish. For this reason, you will find that a man or woman advanced in years should have a certain level of wisdom at their age. Oh! What a disappointment it will be when you finally realise that the person who you thought had it all in place is still a young girl or boy in a big body that seems or looks mature:

Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that

shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding. (Prov. 17: 28)

It is mostly because of this reason coupled with selfishness that we see many marriages on the rocks today than ever before. For this reason again, it is not so unusual to find a young couple enjoying a successful marriage while an old couple is still struggling in marriage or vice versa.

The first thing to do before getting married is to understand who is getting in this relationship; I mean, who are you and what do you want? Most people just rush in to marriage without understanding who they are, resulting in the other person not understanding them too. Before you get in this kind of relationship, I advise you to fall in love with yourself first. Only then will you be able to extend love to the other person. Deal with the commotion and confusion in your own life until you come to a point of peace and quietness within yourself first.

As a couple, there is need to be genuine, frank, and honest with each other in everything, including the very things that brought you together in the first place, which is of utmost importance. A genuine response to this question will determine the challenges that you will have to deal with or whether or not you will last in your marriage, because your answer to this question will definitely portray your motives to a greater extent. There could be other reasons or ways that you got in that marriage, but I will stick to these three that I would want to explain in the form of a marriage triangle.

We will have to leave the triangle for now and come back to it later when we look at the subject ‘The Marriage Triangle’ as a separate entity.

According to 1 Corinthians 7: 2 and the following verses, God ordained marriage as a way of alleviating the problem of sexual immorality. That is to say, each man had to have his own woman and each woman her own husband. Each one of them had to fulfil their marital duties to each other.

Their bodies ceased to be their own, but belonged to each other. According to 1 Corinthians 7: 5, they are not to deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, then come together again so that Satan will not tempt them because of lack of self-control. It is for this very reason why Paul said that it was good for men and women to stay unmarried as he himself was. Although, he encouraged people to marry if they could not control themselves, because he realised it was better to marry than burn with passion or go rampant, having sex with every Tom and Dick, Jack and Jill that comes your way. You were not designed to live your life waiting for the next man or woman, the next party or pub. That is not fun; it is pathetic. Work on having a stable life.

In the same chapter, Paul again said that the Lord says:

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. (1 Cor. 7: 10-11)

Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. (1 Cor. 7: 27)

If you read the whole chapter, you will realise that challenges in marriages are all part of the plan, and Paul assures every body intending to marry and those already in marriage that you will face many problems (would rather call them challenges instead). He goes even further to elaborate that a married man will be concerned more about worldly affairs; that is how he can please his wife, and likewise, a married woman is also concerned about how she can please her husband.

From God’s perspective, marriage is no child’s play. It is a strong commitment that requires the right solid reasons for getting in before one can be bound to someone or one entrusts one’s entire life to someone. From this context, we see that marriage is hard work, which needs diligence, loyalty, trust, commitment, and unity. It is not about how the other person can make you happy. In fact, marriage is all about the other person or persons, your husband/wife and your children, and how you can make your family happy. This crucial ingredient happens to be the missing link in most marriages today. People are driven by selfishness. They do not care anymore about their partners, let alone the kids God forbid. Allow me to liken today’s marriages to birds that just woke up one day trapped in a cage for no good reason. By that, I mean that that’s the way it is with the majority of people. They are not aware of their purpose as far as their marriage is concerned. They don’t know the consequences of their actions. They find themselves in a difficult situation and a point of no-return. Somehow, they find out there is at least food and water in the cage and that the cage itself has unconsciously become a source of security. While on the other hand, we have other birds, the free-range ones (the unmarried ones).

The dilemma of the whole issue comes in to play when those in the cage start to think that they have no freedom, because they always see those outside flying at free will and they think that is where life is.

On the other hand, those assumed to be free are thinking that the ones in the cage are safe and they don’t have to struggle to get food; above all, they are free from attacks, hence the misconception of marital rights, roles, and responsibilities, which have racked havoc in many marriages today. There is no such thing as equal rights in marriage. All you need to do is to clearly define your role based on the Word of God and play it well, irrespective of your partner’s shortcomings. It is only when you do your part very well that your partner, no matter how hard hearted they are, sooner or later, they will in turn look for an opportunity to do you good. By doing so, peace will reign in your home, for no dog can bark at a bone; instead, its tail will always be wiggling.

My fellow women, allow me to share with you this Kingdom secret. You can set the atmosphere in your home; being sad or happy is a question of choice. Let us look at these Scriptures:

Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgement. (Prov. 10: 13)

The wise woman builds her house but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. (Prov. 14: 1)

Allow your mind to dwell on the good things, because these are the things that will make you. Negative things

Reviews for Treasure or Baggage

[Pym Tembo · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Very useful Godly counsel on marriage and those who want to be married