Hannah's Grace: Would You Have the Grace to Forgive the Unforgivable?

By Pamela Everly

Hannah McDonald has suffered many tragedies in her life. It seems that anyone that gets close to her she loses them. Just as she has given up hope on happiness, an eastern stranger comes to her rescue. Can she allow him to love her and return that love or will her fear of loss keep them apart?

Matthew London ran away from the life that his parents had mapped out for him, to pursue his dreams of owning his own ranch. Will being a Texas rancher hold happiness for him or will a trappers daughter teach him what life is worth living for? Just as he is about to find out, an act of violence threatens to take it all away from him.
Follow these two lives as they put their faith and trust in God to get them through difficult times, and see what God has in store for them.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jun 19, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499033441

Pamela Everly

Pamela Everly was born and raised in the southwestern part of Pennsylvania. She married her high school sweetheart. They now raise their three children in the same church that they grew up in.Pamela enjoys singing in the church and has also directed the children's Christmas programs. Pamela has also enjoyed reading and thanks God for giving her the idea to write this book and the ones to follow. This is Pamela's first novel, and she is currently writing the sequel.

Book preview

Chapter 1

It was early in the morning; the Texas sun was just peeking through the window, when Hannah was awakened by a knock on her door. What was going on, she thought to herself as her Pa opened her door. His brow was creased and the corner’s of his mouth were turned down which gave Hannah a reason to be concerned.

The baby is coming. I need to get Dr. Henry. You go sit with your Mama and make sure you take care of her while I’m gone.

Yes Pa. Hannah said as she jumped up out of bed.

She was so excited the day had finally come. Her little brother or sister was coming. It seemed they had waited so long for this moment. When Hannah found out that they were going to have a baby she begged her Mama to teach her how to make a quilt. It took her a long time to catch on but before she knew it she was sewing as fast as her Mama. They spent a lot of evenings sitting by the fire making blankets and clothing for the baby. Hannah was never around a baby before. She had no idea what to do with one. Her best friend Rachel, who has younger siblings, told her that they are a lot of work and they cry a lot. Hannah knew she wouldn’t mind that. She would help her Mama the best she could. She finished getting dressed and went over to her Mama’s room.

Mama may I get you anything. She asked as she entered the room.

I need you to go get some water ready to boil, and get some rags. That way everything will be ready for Dr. Henry when he gets here. Ms. Ellen usually comes with him to help but if she doesn’t come you may need to help him. Now go get to your chores. You will have plenty of time. They baby will take a while to get here.

After getting her directions from her Mama, Hannah went outside to get her chores done. Just then Banny the rooster crowed.

You are a little late for that Banny. Looks like I woke you up today. Hannah joked with the rooster. The baby is coming today. She said as she fed the animals.

I wonder what the baby will be, she thought to herself. Her Pa was sure it would be a boy. He told Mama that it just made sense that since they had a girl already that God would give them a boy next. Mama was sure hoping he was right. Hannah had heard her Mama pray that God would give them a son, especially since Tom wants one so bad. Since her Mama married Tom he had been really good to them. Tom would loose his temper with Hannah sometimes but he tried to be a good Pa for mama’s sake.

Hannah brought the water in and put the pot on the stove and went and grabbed some rags. She walked over to the rocking chair where she had made a blanket for the baby. It wasn’t as nice as the quilt her Mama had made for her, but it was a nice blanket for the baby.

Loud screams from her Mama’s room made her jump. She ran into her Mama’s room. Hannah didn’t know what to do. Her Mama was pale from all the pain and dripping with sweat. She was gripping her blankets so tightly that her knuckles were white.

What can I do Mama? I don’t know what to do. Hannah started to cry.

Her Mama reached out her hand for Hannah to take.

Hannah, listen to me. I know you’re scared but you need to listen. You’re just a young lady. Your not suppose to know what to do. Just take a deep breathe and calm down.

She noticed that while her Mama talked to her that she would grimace in pain. Hannah squeezed her ma’s hand and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and then she decided she had to be ready for her mama’s sake.

Mama what can I do, she asked.

I need you to get a cool rag and place it on my head, chest, neck and arms. You need to keep me cool. There will be a lot of yelling and you need to just ignore it because it is normal" Her Mama said.

Yes Mama, I can do it.

She sat there and tried to cool her Mama down but as the sun rose the early spring morning became unusually hot. She was so scared, but she tried to be brave for her Mama.

Hannah I want you to know that I love you and I am very proud of you. You are taking very good care of me.

Thanks Mama. She didn’t know why her Mama was saying this to her.

Her Mama’s screaming penetrated the small room. Hannah started to cry.

Mama what am I suppose to do? Please I love you.

At that moment, Tom, Dr. Henry, and Ms. Ellen the midwife, also the owner of the town’s only boarding house, came into the room. Hannah was crying uncontrollable. Tom grabbed her by the arm and pushed her out of the room.

You were supposed to take care of your ma. Not sit there and cry like a baby. You’re Mama is the one in pain not you. He yelled.

Tom, she did take good care of me don’t be mad at her she is just a young lady. Her Mama scolded him.

That was the first time that she heard her Mama talk to him that way.

Tom, you need to step out. Doc said.

Tom went out of the room. He didn’t say a word to Hannah. They sat in painful silence. Tom paced back and forth in front of the door. Hannah stared out the window softly crying as she listened to her Mama screaming. Then all of a sudden it went silent. There was no screaming. No baby crying. Tom and Hannah stared at the door. Neither one of them could move or say anything. After what seemed like hours the door opened and out came Doc with a sad look in his eyes. He wiped the sweat from his head and looked up.

I’m sorry Tom but we lost them both.

No! You’re lying. Hannah screamed and ran to the room. Doc caught her before she went in.

Now Hannah you don’t want to see them yet. It’s not a good thing for you to see.

That’s my Mama! She cried trying to fight off the doctor’s strong grip.

Your Mama wouldn’t want you to see her like this. Give Ms. Ellen and myself a few minutes and then you can see her and your brother.

At this announcement Tom’s head shot up.

It was a boy? He asked.

Yes Tom it was. I’m very sorry. He walked back into the room and shut the door. Hannah was sobbing and she couldn’t catch her breath. She felt numb inside. She had to get out of here. She quickly darted out of the house ignoring her Pa’s calls to come back. She couldn’t be in that house any longer. She was running up over the hill toward the riverbank when she tripped over a tree stump, and fell on her face. She lay there and cried. Her Mama was gone. What will she do now; first her Pa dies now her Mama and baby brother. How can she go on? Her life has changed in an instant. She sat up and wiped her tears. She had to talk to Rachel. She has been her best friend since she moved here. She walked all the way to the Smith’s ranch.

Hannah reached the large ranch house and knocked at the door.

Hannah what’s wrong? Why are you crying? What has happened? Mrs. Smith said as she opened the door to the young teary girl in front of her. Hannah fell into her arms and sobbed.

Rachel came to the door at that moment.

What’s wrong Hannah? Rachel asked.

Mama died and the baby too. Hannah said as she finally found her voice; although it sounded like a shrill cry.

Oh no! gasped Mrs. Smith and she started to cry.

Rachel grabbed Hannah and hugged her tight and the two friends cried together.

Mrs. Smith directed the girls to the back porch to sit down. All Hannah could do was sit and stare into the fields.

Hannah was there for a few hours sitting while Mrs. Smith held her as she cried.

Tom knew where to find Hannah. Anytime she was upset he knew that the Smith’s ranch is where she could be found. He knocked on the door and Mr. Smith came to the door.

Tom, I’m sorry to hear about your loss. If there is anything we can do for you and Hannah just let us know.

Thanks but we’ll be just fine. Is Hannah still here? Tom asked.

Yes. She is out on the back porch with the ladies. Come on in. They walked out to the back porch.

Hannah, it’s time to go! He said.

Oh Mr. McDonald, I’m so sorry for your loss. Lynn was a good friend to me. I loved her very much. If there is anything I can do for you please don’t hesitate to let us know. Mrs. Smith said.

Thank you Mrs. Smith, I know you were close with Lynn, but we will be fine. Come Hannah we have to go home now.

I can’t go back there! I don’t want to go, Hannah cried.

She is more than welcome to stay here, if that is ok with you. Mrs. Smith said.

Tom thought about it for a moment. If you’re sure you won’t mind. Hannah would you like that. All Hannah could do was nod as she stared back out into the empty fields again.

We can bring her to the church for the service. Mr. Smith said.

Much—obliged! Tom simply said and then left.

Hannah couldn’t stop the tears from coming. Mrs. Smith came over to her and held her tightly and just let her cry. She softly prayed with Hannah.

God, please ease this hurt from us. It is hard to think that this young girl loosing her Mama is part of your plan but only you know why and where this will lead her. Please help her come to realize that you love her and know what is best for her. Help Hannah to rely on you for strength and love. God give Hannah grace, and peace. In Jesus name Amen. Hannah looked up at this wonderful God fearing woman.

Thank you Mrs. Smith. It hurts so much.

I know Hannah but God will be there for you. He will get you through it. He doesn’t give you something to figure out on your own. He wants you to rely on him for strength. God loves us so much. How do you think he felt creating his own son in the human flesh knowing that he would be tortured and crucified? I know that I would never be able to do that. It just proves his love for us. He knew that Jesus would make a way to free us from hell, if we believe in him and receive him into our hearts. God knew that the suffering would all be worth it.

Thank you again Mrs. Smith.

You’re welcome sweetie. Why don’t you go in Rachel’s room and take a nap before dinner.

Yes ma’am. Hannah said and went upstairs. It didn’t take long for Hannah to drift off to sleep. She started to dream that she was lying on the ground crying and she couldn’t move. She felt so much pain, and then a tall man came over to her. She couldn’t make out his face. His wide brim hat made a shade on his face. He leaned over calling her name. He sounded very upset. I’m here Hannah. He said as he removed his hat. Then she woke up. Rachel had been calling her for dinner.

Dinners ready Hannah. Rachel said.

Rachel, I had a really weird dream. She said and then told her all about it.

What do you think it means? Rachel asked.

I don’t know. Hannah replied.

Maybe it’s your future husband. Rachel teased. Come on lets go eat. The two friends walked downstairs to join the family for dinner.

It was a quiet night around the table. There was so much sadness that nobody had anything to say or they didn’t want to say anything. Mrs. Smith had fed the younger children and made them go to their rooms so that they could have some quiet time.

Hannah couldn’t eat. After a time she excused herself, went upstairs and went to bed.

Hannah woke the next morning to a different room. She wasn’t dreaming. This was Rachel’s room. That means her Mama really was gone. At that thought Hannah began to sob. Loneliness enveloped her like a heavy blanket. She didn’t want to get out of bed.

Rachel came to her side. She just held her friend and let her cry.

I know it must be hard but I will always be here for you.

After some time Hannah’s crying eased and they went downstairs to breakfast. The morning seemed a blur to Hannah. The Smiths had 5 children. There was a lot of chaos at the table. Hannah didn’t mind because it kept the sad looks away from her. The children’s careless chatter eased her heart. It made her realize that life doesn’t stop with death. It just keeps on going whether we want it to or not. Hannah’s thoughts went to what today would bring. She wondered how the service was going to go. She didn’t want to go but she had to see her Mama and say goodbye.

After breakfast, it was time to get ready for the services. Rachel let Hannah use one of her good dresses. They loaded the wagon with all the kids. Rachel sat by her friend and held her the whole way there. Hannah was grateful to have a friend like Rachel.

Chapter 2

Hannah was quiet the whole way to the church. She couldn’t believe this all happened. Why did this have to happen to her? She tried to remember what Mrs. Smith said, about not understanding God’s plan but accepting it, and trusting that he knows what he is doing.

They arrived at the church just as they were lowering the casket. She got out of the wagon and walked over to her Pa. He looked tired and very old, she thought to herself. She never noticed the age difference between her Mama and Tom till now. He did look much older.

Hannah turned her attention to the two mounds of dirt that had been formed. She started to cry. She realized she didn’t get to say goodbye to her Mama. She threw herself down on the dirt and sobbed.

Mama I love you. Please don’t leave me! she cried aloud. I didn’t get to tell you goodbye Mama, please! Her Pa lifted her up and gave her a disapproving look.

Settle down girl. He scolded. His tone and look silenced Hannah.

Sorry Reverend, please continue.

Hannah had no idea what all the Rev. Jacobs said the whole service. The only thing she heard him say made her angry. She heard him say that her Mama was in a better place. She couldn’t believe it. How dare he say that? She knew her Mama would rather be alive with her. She was lost deep in her thoughts when Tom nudged her.

Let’s go! He demanded. There are chores to get to."

She couldn’t believe him, he expected her to get to work like nothing happened. She got up in the back of the wagon and lay down and cried herself to sleep. She started to dream again of the tall stranger again. Then Tom jerked the buggy to a stop and Hannah woke up. They were home.

Hannah went straight for the barn to start her chores. She wasn’t ready to go into the house. She didn’t know how she would feel walking in there knowing her Mama wouldn’t be in there to greet her.

Hannah kept busy all day feeding the chickens, collecting the eggs, and milking the cow. She usually greeted the animals and talked to them for a bit but not today. She kept quiet. When all her chores were done she went to the house and stared at the door. She knew she had to go in. As she walked in she felt a deep sadness. Hannah went right to her room and lay on her bed and held tight to her Mama’s quilt. She continued to cry until she drifted off to sleep.

It had been three days since her Mama died; she left her room early in the mornings just to do her chores and to use the outhouse. She wouldn’t even eat. She was in her room sleeping when her Pa came in.

Now Hannah you have to get over this. You are no longer to lay here and waste the days away. You will eat what is in front of you and you will clean and cook from now on. No more crying. He said.

I hate you! She screamed. It’s all your fault my Mama’s dead. She would still be alive if it wasn’t for you. We should have never come here.

Tom’s face was full of anger. He reached over and slapped her across the face, again, and again. She fell to the floor and he kicked her.

Don’t you ever say that again, you hear me? He said as he beat her.

I’m sorry Pa! Please stop. She said crying.

Don’t ever call me that again. I’m not your Pa, and I never wanted to be, he said as he slammed the door behind him.

What just happened? Hannah thought as she stared at the door. She was in shock. She couldn’t believe Tom would hurt her like this. She got up and slowly walked up to the water basin and tried to clean the blood from her face.

God, she prayed, please help me to be good and stop crying so Tom won’t do this again. Help me to be strong and accept my Mama’s death. Amen.

Hannah splashed some water on her sore face and tried to straighten herself up but her stomach hurt so badly. She sat down on the edge of her bed as she heard Tom greet Rachel at the door.

I’m sorry Rachel but Hannah still won’t come out of her room. Just give her a few more days maybe she’ll be ready for visitors then. I’ll tell her you stopped by. Then she heard the door shut.

Hannah walked over to her bedroom door and slowly opened it. She cleared her raspy voice.

What would you like for dinner? Hannah asked Tom.

Don’t worry about it! He snapped, not even looking at her, and then he left.

She watched as he rode into the direction of town. She walked back into her room and shut the door. Her face hurt and her stomach hurt. She went back to bed.

She woke up, in the middle of the night, to a loud noise. She opened up her door just a crack. There was Tom swaying back and forth. He had knocked over a chair. He was drunk she thought to herself. She closed the door again and went back to bed. She didn’t want to see how he would act in this state. So she covered up and tried to go back to sleep. She prayed that Tom would not come in her room and that he would just go to bed and sleep it off. Her prayers were answered a few moments later when she heard Tom’s bedroom door slam shut and then silence filled the house.

Thank you Lord she thought as she drifted off to sleep.

Hannah’s dream caused her to toss and turn all night: The sky was filled with dark clouds that covered the sun. She was lost in what seemed to be a dense wooded area. She couldn’t see in front of her and she kept tripping over the roots of the trees. She could hear something coming towards her. Was someone after her or were they coming to help her. She cried out for help.

Hello! She yelled into the darkness. Someone help me please. Then the noise started to move away from her.

Come back, please come back! She cried again. Then the darkness lifted just like it was a curtain hanging from the sky and she was able to see. It was her town and the people that she knew were all around her.

Help me! She cried but everyone kept to their own tasks. It was like no one heard her. Why won’t anyone help me? Then she saw Rachel coming towards her.

Rachel, help me! She called. Rachel reached out her hand and then she disappeared. Rachel, where did you go? Come back, please!

Hannah dropped to the ground in defeat. She felt so alone.

Then she saw the tall man again; and again she couldn’t see his face, just his tall frame. There was strength in his walk. A strength that was comforting to her some how. It felt like he was sent to help her. He reached out his hand but Hannah didn’t know if she should try to take it. If she did would he disappear too? She looked up again and she saw his deep green eyes. She had never seen eyes so green. That was all she could see. His eyes captivated her and she couldn’t stop looking at them. It was as if they were telling her to trust him. The green was so deep they reminded her of her Papa’s eyes. Although her Papa’s eyes weren’t this shade of green but they shared the same trust, confidence and love that she saw in this mystery man’s eyes. She never took her eyes from his and reached for his hand. His large hands took hold of hers and effortlessly helped her to her feet.

She woke up startled. Who was this tall man with bright green eyes? What did this dream mean?

That’s silly. Dreams don’t mean anything. She laughed and got out of bed to start on her chores.

Tom got out of bed around noon and said he was going to check his traps.

I’ll be back for supper. He called out still refusing to look at her.

After her chores were done she decided to try and catch a fish for dinner. She gathered her things and went fishing. She sat down and cast her line and thought about the events of the last week. She felt so much sorrow. She wasn’t sure what was to become of her life now.

God, please help me do things according to your will. I want to have the faith in you that Mama and Mrs. Smith have. I trust that you did what you felt was right by taking Mama away. Please help me accept that. Please help Tom too. I know that he is hurting too. Help him do the right thing. Please help us forgive each other. Thank you for your love and grace. Amen.

Hannah! She heard someone call her name. She jumped up and turned around. It was Rachel.

What happened to you? She asked as she rushed to Hannah’s side. Your face is bruised.

Oh Rachel it’s nothing. I said some mean things to Tom last night. It was my fault. Hannah explained.

Hannah he did this to you?

Hannah looked down in shame. She always said too much. She had a bad habit of speaking before she thought.

"Please don’t tell anyone. It’s like