The Air I Breathe: A Mother’S Struggles

By Deborah Wells

God gives us unconditional love, and so as parents we must learn to give the same unconditional love to our children and grandchildren.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Dec 31, 2013
• ISBN: 9781490819266

Deborah Wells

I have been in ministry for more than thirty-six years; I was licensed in 1981 as a Christian minister. Raising children is a challenge for anyone, but when one or more of them marches to their own drumbeat it becomes extremely difficult. This is my testimony, but by the grace of God we met the challenge. My husband was in the military for twenty-three years, so we have travelled to and lived in many places; however, we have lived in Chandler, Arizona, since 1990. I have been married to one man for forty-five years. We are those grandparents you hear about who have raised their children and grandchildren. We say God bless you to those other grandparents who are like us.

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Copyright © 2013 Deborah Wells.

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Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-1925-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-1924-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-1926-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013922247

WestBow Press rev. date: 12/30/2013

To Marilyn, my oldest daughter

This is a book that parents and grandparents will truly appreciate as it will show that raising children or grandchildren with unconditional love is not an easy road to travel but it can be done. Take a deep breath and enjoy.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1   In the Hospital

Chapter 2   Family History

Chapter 3   The Children

Chapter 4   The Decision

Chapter 5   Every Breath We Take

Chapter 6   She Was Responding

Chapter 7   The Setback

Chapter 8   The Amputation

Chapter 9   The Final Visit

Chapter 10   Making Arrangements

Chapter 11   Memories

Chapter 12   Life Goes On

Chapter 13   Finally

Acknowledgments

T hanks to my husband and son for their help in editing and for believing in this book. Thanks to our daughter Eletrea, who was always lending a hand and giving support to Lee and me and for taking trips with me to visit her sister in the hospital. Thanks to my sisters Brenda and Mary for always calling to check on Marilyn while she was in the hospital. And thanks to my baby sister, Michelle, who would take trips with Lee and me to see our daug hter.

To my church family, I thank you for your continued prayers and financial support. To God be the glory for all of the good things that He has done.

Again, I would also like to thank Lee E. Wells and Lee E. Wells Jr., who are wonderful editors. And finally, I would like to thank WestBow Press.

Introduction

A fter one of my hospital visits with my oldest daughter, Marilyn, while feeling helpless because of all that I saw, I felt as though I needed to let others know about my experiences. But through all of these experiences, I never lost hope in God, my F ather.

This is a book that parents and grandparents will truly appreciate, because it will show that raising children or grandchildren with unconditional love is not an easy road to travel. So take a deep breath and enjoy.

Some might ask, Was it love or enabling?

What I am writing may not be any different from your experiences or what you know to be true. But I felt compelled to write about my experiences as a mother who raised her children and as a grandmother who stepped in and raised her grandchildren with the help of my husband and God, our Father.

In order for me to tell this story, I will have to reveal a lot of things about my family and situations leading up to Marilyn’s hospital stay as she lay in a coma, with the machine breathing for her.

CHAPTER 1

In the Hospital

S ometimes, life gets difficult and you have to stop and breathe slowly. There have been times when I have had to tell myself to breathe s lowly.

My oldest daughter, Marilyn, lay in the hospital with her fifth stroke, and this one was a major one. She was only forty-four years of age. Would she make it to forty-five? Only God knew the answer to that question.

She was on life support. The machine was keeping her alive as it breathed in her every breath. She kept holding on.

Her boyfriend had found her lying on the floor in the bathroom, not breathing. He called the paramedics, and while he waited on them, he did everything he could to help her breathe. The paramedics came to her apartment and revived her, and then they rushed her to the hospital. Her boyfriend called my family to let us know what was happening. The next morning, we were on our way to Las Vegas, Nevada, to see her.

The first time I walked into that hospital room and saw her in the state that she was in, I knew that she was in trouble. She just lay there with no movement; she did not look as though she was sleeping, as some would say. The atmosphere around her seemed more complicated. I had never seen this look on her face, and I was troubled. She wore only a hospital gown with no cover to keep her warm. The room was so cold, and I needed my child to be warm.

I went out of the room to the nurses’ station and asked if they could get her a blanket. A nurse said that they needed to keep Marilyn’s body at a certain temperature to help stabilize her. This did not sit well with me, but I wanted what was best for her in order to get her back on the road to recovery. Not only was she hooked up to the respiratory machine, but she was hooked up to other machines as well: one to monitor her heart rate, one to monitor her blood pressure, and one to see whether she was having any brain activity. She was lying on a bed that rotated so that she would not get bedsores easily. That bed proved to be worthless. I sat by