Dork Diaries 13: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Birthday
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About this ebook
Nikki and her BFFs Chloe and Zoey have been planning a birthday party of epic proportions! There’s just one problem—Nikki’s mom says no way to the budget they need to make it happen. Nikki’s ready to call the whole thing off, but some surprising twists might take that decision out of her hands, and help comes from the person Nikki would least expect. One way or another, this will be a birthday that Nikki will never forget!
Rachel Renee Russell
Rachel Renee Russell is a lawyer who prefers writing children's books to legal briefs (mainly because books are a lot more fun and pyjamas and bunny slippers aren't allowed in court). She has raised two daughters and lived to tell about it. Rachel lives in northern Virginia with a spoiled pet Yorkie who terrorises her daily by climing on top of her computer and pelting her with stuffed animals while she writes. And, yes, Rachel considers herself a total Dork.
Read more from Rachel Renee Russell
Dork Diaries
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Titles in the series (17)
Dork Diaries OMG!: All About Me Diary! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dork Diaries 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dork Diaries 5: Tales from a Not-So-Smart Miss Know-It-All Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dork Diaries 11: Tales from a Not-So-Friendly Frenemy Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dork Diaries 9: Tales from a Not-So-Dorky Drama Queen Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dork Diaries 2: Tales from a Not-So-Popular Party Girl Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dork Diaries 7: Tales from a Not-So-Glam TV Star Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dork Diaries 10: Tales from a Not-So-Perfect Pet Sitter Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dork Diaries 8: Tales from a Not-So-Happily Ever After Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dork Diaries 13: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Birthday Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dork Diaries 6: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dork Diaries 12: Tales from a Not-So-Secret Crush Catastrophe Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dork Diaries 3 1/2: How to Dork Your Diary Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dork Diaries 15: Tales from a Not-So-Posh Paris Adventure Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDork Diaries 3: Tales from a Not-So-Talented Pop Star Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dork Diaries 4: Tales from a Not-So-Graceful Ice Princess Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dork Diaries 14: Tales from a Not-So-Best Friend Forever Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
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Reviews for Dork Diaries 13
57 ratings7 reviews
What our readers think
Readers find this title to be an awesome and fun party with great characters. They love Nikki's life and admire her as a favorite character. The book is interesting, detailed, and easy to imagine. It is a laugh out loud book that is anything but boring. It made readers laugh, cry, and feel mad all at the same time. This is a really dramatic romantic comedy book that is recommended for girls ages 9-13.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I have not been able to read it! Damn! Damn! They say it’s unavailable in my country and I was like, hell!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5It was awesome!!! Even though Nikki's bday party didn't get to a good start,it's still an awesome and fun party!!!!!! I also like how her BFFs always helps her when she has troubles. She is very lucky to have friends like Chloe and Zoey!???
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I L-O-V-E this one??????? never have read anything like this I love nikkie's bday! Like omg omg omg I really want nikkie's life bc my life is trash but not the trash that goes into a dumpster it the kind where you get grabbed by the trash car thingy???? but nikkie I admire her she is my favorite character in dork Diaries but shaty I still love nikkie Brandon chole Zoey and max c. Awesome characters ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????♥♥♥♥♥♠♠♠♠♠♣♣♣♦♦♦????????????????????????♐♐♐♐?????????????????????????????????????????????⏭⏭⏭⏭❗❗❗❗♈♈♈♈?????❇❇❇??????????????☕☕☕☕??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????❤❤❤❤✌??❤️???❤️??????????????????????????????????????????????
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Wow this book made me laugh, cry and ,feel mad all at the same time anyone who is looking for a really dramatic romantic comedy book this is for you!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This is a laugh out loud book. It is detailed and very easy to imagine the characters in these events. I would recommend this book for girls ages 9-13 years old. Further more, Rachel has showed the events in this book carefully. This book is any thing but boring and I enjoyed it very much
Written by Autumn Borowiec (Age 12)1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I love it when Mackenzie didn’t even push Nikki into the water and the Bark Bites were good looking!
3 people found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5When I read this book it was the best! It was so interesting. I love it so much! It was so good that I had to read it more then once!
1 person found this helpful
Book preview
Dork Diaries 13 - Rachel Renee Russell
(NO SNOOPING ALLOWED!!! )
Dork Diaries: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Birthday, by Rachel Renée Russell with Nikki Russell and Erin Russell. Aladdin. New York | London | Toronto | Sydney | New Delhi.HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DORK DIARIES FANS!
I hope your birthday is as special as you are !
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4
OMG! MY BIRTHDAY PARTY IS BEYOND AWESOME!
SQUEEEE !
Just imagine a FABULOUS and FUN bash at the Westchester Country Club with a band, DJ, all-you-can-eat pizza, ice-cream sundae bar, two hundred of my closest friends, my loyal BFFs, my adorkable CRUSH, and a humongous birthday cake.
Everything is SO unbelievably PERFECT, I need to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. OUCH!! That hurt! (I just pinched myself!)
The GOOD NEWS is that not even my mortal FRENEMY, MacKenzie Hollister, can RUIN the most AMAZING day of my entire life !
The BAD NEWS is that I was totally WRONG about the GOOD NEWS !…
My wonderful birthday party had turned into a complete CATASTROPHE! It was AWFUL! Thank goodness the entire thing was just a…
HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE !!
OMG! That dream felt SO real! I woke up FRANTIC in a cold sweat.
And now just the thought of having a party is totally FREAKING ME OUT.
I’m obviously suffering from a very serious and debilitating medical condition called CBPP, or CRUDDY BIRTHDAY PARTY PHOBIA.
It’s an irrational fear of birthday party disasters.
I think I first contracted this illness on my fifth birthday. I had invited my ENTIRE kindergarten class to my party, and my dad dressed up as a clown.
He was HILARIOUS!
Until he was lighting the candles on my birthday cake and somehow accidentally set the seat of his baggy clown pants on fire.
Don’t ask me HOW!
At first Dad panicked and ran around the room shouting, FIRE! FIRE!
Then he quickly put it out by SITTING in a huge bowl of fruit punch!…
MY DAD, THE CLOWN, GETTING PUNCH!
All the kids laughed and cheered because they thought it was all part of his very funny clown act. But I was SO upset, I couldn’t eat any of my birthday cake.
To this day, I have an extreme FEAR of clowns. Luckily, not ALL of them. Just SCREAMING CLOWNS with their BUTTS on FIRE!
I’m VERY serious! They practically scare the SNOT out of me.
DON’T LAUGH! It’s NOT funny !
Okay, maybe it IS kind of funny .
But STILL!
Anyway, my birthday is on Saturday, June 28, and my BFFs, Chloe and Zoey, are BEGGING me to throw a big birthday party.
They’re so excited about it that they’re coming over tomorrow to help me plan everything.
Unfortunately, Chloe and Zoey are going to be SUPERdisappointed when I break the bad news that I’ve changed my mind. That scary dream has me worried that if even the TINIEST thing goes wrong, my birthday could turn into a complete DISASTER.
Hey, I’d LOVE to be the pretty and popular PARTY PRINCESS.
But come on! WHO am I kidding?!
MY life is NOT a fairy tale.
And I am NOT Cinderella.
Sorry! But if I dramatically dashed out of the royal ball at midnight in a glamorous, enchanted gown and lost my beautiful glass slipper, I’d step right in a pile of DOG POOP!
!!
THURSDAY, JUNE 5
I’m STILL freaked out about my nightmare, and it keeps replaying in my head like a bad movie. I was covered from head to toe in so much frosting, I felt like a HUMAN cupcake !
So today I planned to break the news to Chloe and Zoey that I’ve decided NOT to have a birthday party.
With all the things that could go WRONG, it was just not worth the risk. I hoped my BFFs would understand and be supportive.
They arrived at my house all fired up, with a HUGE stack of books and magazines about PARTY PLANNING. Just great !
But I was totally shocked when they yelled, SURPRISE!
and handed me a copy of a brand-new bestselling book.
I could NOT believe my eyes and just stared at it in AWE!…
It was a PARTY PLANNING book based on my FAVE reality TV show, My Very Rich and Trashy Life! Chloe and Zoey said it was an early birthday present that I could use to plan my party.
And get this! They’d also ordered a large QUEASY CHEESY pizza (which was a good thing, because all that intense WORRYING about my party had made me REALLY HUNGRY)!
It was quite obvious my BFFs were taking their party planning duties VERY seriously !
We ran upstairs and crashed in my bedroom.…
CHLOE, ZOEY, AND ME, PIGGING OUT ON PIZZA WHILE READING BOOKS AND MAGAZINES ABOUT PARTY PLANNING!
Although I appreciated their efforts, I finally gathered the courage to tell them the bad news. Listen, guys, I’m really thankful you’re helping me plan a big birthday bash. But, to be honest, I’d be perfectly happy with just the three of us hanging out in my backyard, trying not to choke on my dad’s burnt hamburgers,
I joked.
Nikki, that’s a GREAT idea!
Zoey exclaimed. Look at this! The My Very Rich and Trashy Life! Party Planner has instructions for a FUN outdoor cookout.
She showed me a page in the book.…
It even suggests a midnight bonfire!
Chloe said. OMG! That’s going be SO ROMANTIC, right?! For YOU KNOW WHO…!
Then she started making silly kissing noises.
I kind of wanted to SLAP her. But I didn’t. That sounds really, um… interesting. But why don’t the THREE of us just have a sleepover and watch some movies instead?
I insisted.
Chloe flipped through my new book. Guess what?! Sleepovers are in here too. Look.…
Now, THAT sounds really COOL!
Zoey giggled.
Okay. I was starting to get annoyed. CHLOE! ZOEY! PLEASE! I really NEED you both to LISTEN!
I yelled. They got really quiet and just stared at me.
Nikki, it’s up to you! It’s YOUR birthday. If you want a LISTENING party, that’s fine with us.
Chloe shrugged.
I LOVE that idea!
Zoey exclaimed. She flashed us another page from the book.…
A listening party would actually be very RETRO and CHIC!
she said excitedly.
I could NOT believe my friends were so CLUELESS! That’s when I totally lost it!
COME ON, guys! I’m so EXASPERATED right now, I could just… SCREEEEAM!!
I ranted.
Your book is AMAZING!
Chloe exclaimed. There’s actually a PARTY for THAT, too!!
…
You could have a scream fest dance party for two hundred people in a warehouse!
Zoey suggested.