The Long Journey Home: Understanding and Ministering to the Sexually Abused

By Wipf and Stock

Maybe the only thing new about sexual abuse is quality discussion from several professions (psychology, theology, and pastoral care). Here are the insights of over two dozen psychologists, theologians, and those in pastoral care, all targeting the issue of sexual abuse. Designed as a resource for Christian educators, therapists, pastors, social workers, group leaders, and survivors, The Long Journey Home combines current research in mental health with rich theological reflection, global concern with fervent pastoral wisdom for the local faith community. Whether you are a counselor, professor, pastor, or spouse of a survivor, you hold in your hand a fresh resource of information and advocacy for those suffering from the devastating effects of sexual abuse and rape. The breadth of material, biblical insight, discussion questions, and helpful resources gathered here just may be the tool of a generation.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Wipf and Stock
• Release date: Oct 1, 2011
• ISBN: 9781621893271

Book preview

The Long Journey Home

Understanding and Ministering to the Sexually Abused

A collaborative address from psychology,

theology, and pastoral care

Edited by

Andrew J. Schmutzer

2008.WS_logo.pdf

The Long Journey Home

Understanding and Ministering to the Sexually Abused

Copyright © 2011 Andrew J. Schmutzer. All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical publications or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publisher. Write: Permissions, Wipf and Stock Publishers, 199 W. 8th Ave., Suite 3, Eugene, OR 97401.

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ISBN 13: 978-1-60899-395-6

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All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

"The Long Journey Home is an ambitious attempt to address the multifaceted problem of sexual abuse, an issue that is often overlooked in our churches. The book is comprehensive in scope, covering the prevalence and types of sexual abuse, its immediate and long-term consequences upon victims, survivors, and abusers, the theological and spiritual dimensions and implications, reviews of current research, and practical guidelines for ministry and healing. Over two-dozen contributors provide multiple levels of insight into sexual abuse, from scholarly investigation to the personal and practical. Most noteworthy is the emphasis on the use of Scripture in understanding the fundamental spiritual issues of sexual abuse and in directing survivors, perpetrators, ministers, counselors, and the community of faith toward ultimate healing found in God. I recommend this book for anyone dealing with sexual abuse, and, in particular, students, pastors, and care givers who seek a better understanding of the problem and desire to be more effective ministers of the Gospel."

—Ian F. Jones

Professor of Psychology and Counseling

Baptist Community Ministries’ Chair of Pastoral Counseling

New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary

"The Long Journey Home offers a unique contribution to the subject of undeserved, horrifyingly hurtful suffering associated with sexual abuse. As editor and contributor, Dr. Schmutzer has gathered a collection of specialists to address the problem from three different perspectives: social sciences, theological disciplines, and pastoral care. However, sexual abuse isn’t merely theoretical, philosophical, or theological. It is deeply personal. Therefore, of significant importance is this book’s value to pastors, counselors, and churches who are dealing with (or will deal with) the complex causes and consequences connected with sexual abuse."

—Larry J. Waters

Associate Professor of Bible Exposition

Dallas Theological Seminary

"The Long Journey Home is the fruit of excellent work blending theology, ministry, and psychology concerning sexual abuse and healing into a magnificent resource. The church has struggled for centuries to walk with abuse survivors and become an advocate in their healing. This book equips us to face their journey with hope and justice. I feel it is about time Christian practitioners have been able to publish something of this caliber to address such a painful issue."

—Ron Clark

George Fox Evangelical Seminary

"It is no secret that the darkness and horrors of sexual abuse are all too prevalent within the Christian community. Tragically, for too many years the Church has responded to such darkness with silence. As a result, this darkness has spread and left a broad trail of destruction along its way . . . the destruction of individual lives, families, church communities, and the glorious witness of Christ. Through this great tragedy, we must be reminded that all is not hopeless and lost. There is hope, much hope, because we worship the God of truth and light who is moving in mighty ways by demonstrating love to those who knew no love, hope to those who had no hope, and the power of His Gospel to those who had only associated the Gospel with abuse and pain. Dr. Schmutzer’s new collaborative book, The Long Journey Home, will undoubtedly be one way God uses to demonstrate such Gospel-centered hope to so many inside and outside of His Church who have been effected by abuse. Written by a collection of experts who have spent entire careers addressing and confronting the various facets of this sin, The Long Journey Home is the most comprehensive and well informed book on this subject from a Gospel-centered perspective. As one who spends his days laboring alongside the Christian community in addressing the issue of abuse, I am greatly encouraged by the depth and spirit that fill the pages of The Long Journey Home. This book should be required reading for all Christian leaders and anyone else whose life has been impacted by the horrors of abuse."

—Basyle Tchividjian

Professor of Law

Liberty University School of Law

The trauma and heinousness of sexual abuse leaves me speechless. Unfortunately, many of us pastors and ministry professionals are clueless. Andrew J. Schmutzer’s excellent work helps change that and more; it gives us tested insights and strategies to unpack abuse and facilitate healing in Christ. I have seen this first hand. Andrew’s teaching and counseling ministry in our church—his church—has been a beacon of light for so many stuck in the shadows of shame.

—Rob Bugh

Senior Pastor

Wheaton Bible Church

This collection of vital information holistically addresses issues of abuse that are deeply complex and tender. Hope is offered from many voices that is personal, biblical, and insightful. Many survivors, counselors, pastors, and family members are sure to find the understanding they have longed for and help for which they have prayed. This book has a very important message.

—Pamela MacRae

Assistant Professor of Pastoral Studies

Moody Bible Institute

"Andrew J. Schmutzer’s The Long Journey Home is an outstanding compendium of resources from the social sciences, the helping professions, theology, and pastoral care focused on understanding and caring for those who have been sexually abused. Schmutzer has accomplished the monumental task of weaving together the writings of over twenty-six social scientists, clinicians, church leaders, and survivors telling their personal stories into one coherent volume. It is an amazing accomplishment. Every church leader has in their congregation survivors of sexual abuse and has opportunity like no one else to speak healing words into their lives. The Long Journey Home will enable seminarians, church leaders, and helping professionals to become instruments of hope and healing."

—Diana R. Garland

Dean

Baylor School of Social Work

 The Long Journey Home

This book is dedicated to:

—Those who have yet to face their journey

—Those who have just begun their journey

—Those who need guidance in their journey

—Those who have made peace with their journey

—Those who were overcome by their journey

Not all who wander are lost.

—J. R. R. Tolkien

"What is forgotten is unavailable,

and what is unavailable cannot be healed."

—Henri J. M. Nouwen

"If no one remembers a misdeed or names it publically, it remains invisible.

To the observer, its victim is not a victim and its perpetrator is not a

perpetrator; both are misperceived because the suffering of the one

and the violence of the other go unseen. A double injustice occurs—the first when the original deed is done and the second when it disappears."

—Miroslav Volf

Preface

The vision for this book began with my own experience as a survivor. As I began studying the issue of sexual abuse (SA), I quickly realized that the subject was not only complex but, unfortunately, the various professions with a stake in the issue were often talking past each other or just ignoring discussions they were not adequately trained to follow. From scientific studies on post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) to analysis of Old Testament rape laws, embodiment theology to family systems theory, liturgy for corporate healing to new research on how forgiveness lowers blood pressure—this all deserves to be heard. But I felt that such innumerable talks needed to be drawn into a more cohesive dialogue, like key pieces forming a grand puzzle. There was obviously a flood of literature out there, from popular memoirs to academic articles and idiosyncratic stuff in between. There are social surveys, gender studies, and books by group-x for group-x regarding group-x, but very little discussion on SA that intentionally valued other professions and showed it in generous dialogue. Unfortunately, some of the best research on SA never filters down to the abused. So I found some other professionals who understood this need and were eager to lend their skills.

The Long Journey Home has both in-depth analysis and sweeping vision to address abuse. What emerged includes description and prescription, personal reflection and some tough questions, all geared toward helping Christian leaders understand and minister to the sexually abused. From the outset, I saw the book functioning as a much-needed bridge between the disciplines of psychology, theology, and pastoral care (see Contents). While each profession has developed its own set of technical terms surrounding SA (needed in the respective trades, see Glossary), the effect has also tended to shut out other conversation partners. So here is a collaboration of disciplines, working together from a broad faith-perspective within the Christian tradition. Contrary to some opinions, combining theology and the social sciences for SA has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and largely left untried.

As I am writing this, a Salt Lake City Jury has found fifty-nine-year-old Brian David Mitchell guilty of kidnapping Elizabeth Smart (then fourteen, in 2002) for the purpose of having sex. I took some notes. I mention this case because it illustrates the complexity that often surrounds SA and the necessity of coordinative modalities of learning for a fuller understanding and advocacy.

Mitchell, accompanied by his wife, Wanda Eileen Barzee (age sixty-six) is a self-proclaimed prophet who goes by the name Immanuel. Mitchell is an excommunicated Mormon who has written a manifesto embracing polygamy. He considers Elizabeth his wife, attempting to rename her Remnant-Who-Will-Return, a likely reference to Shear-yashub in Isaiah 7:3. Mitchell knew Elizabeth because her mother had hired him to work on the family’s house. For Mitchell, Elizabeth’s nine-month disappearance was not a kidnapping, but a call from God. Each day during his trial, Mitchell would enter the courtroom singing hymns from an LDS hymnal.

To symbolically sever her ties to family, Mitchell forced her to burn her pajamas worn on the night she was abducted. She later found a safety pin from her pajamas in the ashes and secretly kept it. Elizabeth was raped almost daily, forced to drink alcohol, use drugs, and view pornography. Once when she did try to escape, Mitchell and Barzee told her that the next time she would be killed by a sword-wielding angel. Elizabeth was so terrified that on the day police located her, she said she was someone else, Augustine Marshall. She later stated, I felt terrible that the detective hadn’t pushed harder and had just walked away. Is this kind of thinking adequately understood?

Reflecting on her story, several points should be noted. Mitchell had threatened to kill her family if Elizabeth spoke out, brainwashing was involved—but the safety pin was a kind of transitional object for Elizabeth to her prior life. Do we simply call Mitchell mentally ill and decry patriarchal religion? Mitchell’s profile was clearly delusional, anti-social, and also narcissistic. His world view was shaped by facets of Mormon culture and doctrine (polygamy is no longer held). The context of socialization and tradition does play a role. Does the faith community adequately value victim impact statements that might critique these religious traditions? The fact that so many people of faith have been abused, and then abandon their faith should be enough to bring the psychologist and pastor into sober dialogue.

Recall that Mitchell was known to the Smart family. Most victims know their abusers, which compounds issues of anger, betrayal, and shame. For her part, Elizabeth returned from Paris, France, nine years later for the trial—she was completing her LDS missionary service. She is Mormon herself. How are therapists trained to work with religion? Just what parts of a victim’s life should therapy focus on? Elizabeth’s own family was strongly opposed to Mitchell even being charged with any sexual abuse crimes, fearing the detail that she would have to give in the trial. Was her parents’ fear entirely for her sake? Who suffers more from silence: the abuser, the family, or the abused? Who sets the agenda?

Do police and social workers adequately understand shame-based social systems and the tenacity of religious convictions? Is culture and faith to be dismissed as outdated or a nuisance? Well, consider that Elizabeth was handcuffed and placed in the back of a squad car. What does that communicate! Sadly, cases large enough to compete with the Olympics are probably going to be known by the name of the perpetrator, not the victim—Elizabeth. Nor is every abuse survivor, even those molested once, able to show the resilience of Elizabeth Smart. Are church leaders adequately trained for this kind of complexity? Not every survivor gets a guilty verdict to help with closure. She wants to be a lawyer. I wonder why? My point is that addressing SA is bigger than all of us. Every professional discipline is needed. It is time to work together!

What Makes this Book Unique

The Long Journey Home is a collection of specialists meeting to discuss and speak into the complexities SA. Much like doctors in consultation for a person with cancer, The Long Journey Home is, as Nancy Nason–Clark and Steve McMullin describe it, transdisciplinary triage. Twenty-six contributors—thirteen women and thirteen men—used their academic training and professional and ministerial experience. The result is twenty-three chapters collected under three headings: (1) Understanding Sexual Abuse through the Social Sciences, (2) Engaging Sexual Abuse through the Theological Disciplines, and (3) Addressing Sexual Abuse through Pastoral Care.

The chapters are written at a semi-technical level. The tone of the book is instructional, pastoral, and at times almost investigative. Readers may feel like they are seated at a table, surrounded by a team of concerned professionals discussing their own situations and offering strategies to help the abused, instruct leaders, and guide the church. The universal problem of SA requires a more universal approach, so the language is overall, intentionally inclusive. Gender specific treatments are already out there. Contributors worked from their own training, insight, and passion. Beyond a broad Christian commitment, there was no intention to use one method, one school of thought, or to arrive at any set of conclusions—The Long Journey Home uses multivalent methods in a multidimensional dialogue. The result is a rich ferment of discussion and maybe a few differing opinions. But enough lines have already been drawn in the sand. In the address of SA, it is time for disagreement at a higher level.

Also included are five Stories of Survivors who boldly share from their own lives. For various reasons, readers may need to hear or reference a personal story, a survivor’s account in their own words; these are important as well. Each chapter closes with Questions for Discussion and additional resources For Further Reading. The questions highlight vital points in the chapter, press the reader to contemplate certain scenarios and contemporary social views, and offer suggestions to engage various aspects of SA in the classroom of academy as well as ministries of the community and local church. So the questions are written with various professions in view. Whether the reader wants an introductory treatment of a given issue or a more advanced discussion in a professional journal, the reading list is always offered to help guide the user—college professor or pastor, group leader or counselor. Regardless, the desire of all the contributors is to partner with Christian leaders who want to address SA in a more focused, proactive, and redemptive manner.

Finally a glossary, some written prayers for survivors, and a bibliography close out the volume. Prompted by the asterisk (*) in the text of the book (including the footnotes), the glossary alphabetically defines around five hundred terms used by therapists, theologians, and pastors. Following a interdisciplinary dialogue requires such tools. For many glossary terms, cross-references are offered for a more in-depth understanding for the reader (e.g., Family Dysfunction also refers the reader to Boundary Confusion and Enmeshed Relationship). The written prayers are addressed below. While For Further Reading has a broader appeal, the extensive bibliography may be valued more by the student, counselor, or specialist. It not only contains the sources used in the chapters, but also many other scholarly resources on aspects of SA. A list of helpful web resources has also been provided for survivors and caretakers, alike.

How to Use This Book

Within psychology, theology, and pastoral care, the interests and needs of many professions and ministries are represented and also overlap. The Long Journey Home offers an arc of understanding. So I thought I would offer a few suggestions to help maximize use of this book.

Begin in one of the above three fields with which you are most familiar, but don’t stop there! Work toward the most unfamiliar discipline; don’t neglect it (e.g., theology). Sexual abuse is not mono- but multi-factorial, so listen to the insights and concerns of other professional voices at the table.

If you are a teacher, encourage the students to thoroughly engage the Questions for Discussion. By design, these questions will pull from many opinions, perspectives, and backgrounds.

If you are a survivor, try to find a counselor, pastor, or trusted friend to read this material with you. Or, join a support group where you can reflect, process, and grieve as you need to. Your own journey of healing can be a slow spiral upwards. Give yourself some time, but quality information is vital.

Pastors and Christian leaders, you will find much in these chapters to bolster your current policies, develop your sermons and seminars, and assist in your search for professional counselors that can help. These chapters recommend many creative ideas to inform the abused in your congregation that you care and are willing to walk with them. Many ideas are offered here to develop healing services for the abused. There are many biblical texts from the Old and New Testament that need to be preached, taught, and employed in articulate and sensitive ways for the sexually wounded.

The Written Prayers for Survivors are offered primarily to give survivors needed words. Help survivors write their own. Therapists can use these prayers in support groups. Counselors can use them as diagnostic tools to see what emotions a survivor identifies with. In these prayers, survivors have a mode of expression that does not hide their anger, sense of betrayal, or fear that God himself may have abandoned them. In them, survivors always find that Jesus suffered in ways amazingly similar to their experiences. Pastors can use some of these prayers for healing services designed for the abused. Such prayers can be an aid when teaching or helping others lament and redeem their pain.

For therapists and Christians leading support groups, the discussion questions can be very helpful to raise issues, prompt differing perspectives, process experiences, and represent viewpoints that might not have been considered. This is important in shaping a generous dialogue and teaching others the skills of advocacy.

For instructors leading classes on sexuality, trauma, counseling the abused, or pastoral ethics, and so on, I encourage you to dig deep in all areas. The entire book can be used in the class. Especially important for counseling and therapy is becoming familiar with the glossary of terms surrounding SA. The Stories of Survivors are excellent case studies. Educators and therapists can use these to illustrate the different issues and complexities commonly faced by survivors, their social contexts, and communities of faith.

If you are a grieving parent, friend, sibling, or spouse, find a counselor or church leader to work with you through particular chapters of this book. Try to understand how you can help support your child, friend, or family member or spouse. A counselor or pastor can also help you find some literature listed in For Further Reading.

In short, here is a mine of ideas to help understand and minister to the sexually abused. There is room at the table, come join the dialogue!

We are not alone in our sadness, loneliness, longing, frustration, disorientation and confusion, anger, guilt, anxiety, fear, and helplessness. Others, too, are daunted by challenges to reshape their daily lives and recast the next chapters of their life stories. In this shared plight, others know us as fellow travelers who struggle to find our way again in worlds transformed by loss.

—Thomas Attig

Andrew J. Schmutzer

Easter, 2011

Acknowledgments

In a resource like this, many people need to be acknowledged. I must thank every contributor who stepped in to add their voice, expertise, and empathy to the dialogue. I learned so much from you all. I also want to thank Drs. Terri S. Watson and Richard E. Butman (Wheaton College) for their encouragement to take on this project. Dr. James Wood, Assistant Professor of Counseling Psychology (Moody Theological Seminary–Michigan) had a significant hand in compiling the glossary. Dr. Watson also helped review it. For the three women and two men who agreed to share their stories, thanks for your courage and grace. I must also thank my student, David Ulrich, for his help compiling the bibliography and his critique of the written prayers and portions of my chapter. I also want to thank my wife, Ashley, whose empathy was a torch of healing light. She believed in this project from the beginning, and gave me the time, profound feedback, and encouragement to complete it.

Introduction

Facing the Many Challenges of Healing and Helping

Richard E. Butman, PhD

It should be painfully obvious to women and men of faith that we are living after Eden—and south of Jerusalem. For those of us who aspire to be world citizens and global Christians, we don’t have to look very far to see horrific examples of deception, evil, injustice, and sin in our own country and abroad. Abject poverty, widespread coercion and exploitation of women and children, wars and rumors of war, and the depletion of the earth’s limited resources bombard our consciousness on a regular basis. We were called to responsible dominion and healthy relatedness in the Creation Mandate in Genesis. Yet, we can all cite examples of this dominion having gone awry—and the relatedness being powerfully distorted. Apart from the ravages of war, this is perhaps no more painfully evident than in the reality of verbal, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse.

How are we to understand such widespread exploitation and injustice? Initially, we need to consider what it means to be created in the image and likeness of God. Every human being should be considered of infinite worth, if only because they reflect something of God’s character. Yet, the reality of the fall has somewhat marred that image (i.e., we are all broken, finite, and sinful creatures). Yet, the hope of the resurrection and the reality of the incarnation remind us that there is still hope—and a reason for faithfulness. If how we care for widows and orphans are one of the marks of true Christian character, convictions, and compassion, then there are many ways we ought to become more cognizant of the awful, far-reaching, and painful realities of verbal, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse if we mean to become imitators of Christ in word and deed. Such awareness demands both an individual and collective response at many levels (e.g., in our families, in our communities, and in our churches).

The Long Journey Home is a book about what it means to love boldly, courageously, and even fearlessly in a world in which caring can be so obviously distorted. The sheer statistical reality of abuse and violence should alert us to the fact that truth can be twisted and distorted—and authority can be misinterpreted and appropriated in ways that leave victims feeling hopeless, helpless, and powerless. Anyone who has carefully read the research on the reality of abuse and violence in our culture—including our Christian churches and ministries—quickly discovers that these are complex issues that reflect multi-dimensional causal factors that can be biological, psychosocial, sociocultural, and spiritual. People become perpetuators of abuse and violence for a host of factors that reflect sins of omission and commission, both personal and collective. For those of us prone to reductionism in our thinking about complex social issues, engaging in the sin of nothing-but-ism is especially tempting. Simply put, we are not entirely clear about the complex and diverse factors that prompt abuse and violence. Sadly, we often know even less about the short-term and long-term impact on victims. What is clear, however, is that the denial and distortion of abuse and violence—be it from the perspective of the victim or perpetuator of aggression—is tempting. Indeed, life would be infinitely easier if we could deny the existence of the distasteful—and the awful reality of the intergenerational effects of coercion and exploitation.

We do know something of the importance of our creational heritage—and the power of the healing community. Awareness and understanding of the issues are prerequisite for healing and change. We do know that hope can be restored in even some of the most difficult and challenging situations. Perhaps it is best caught rather than taught when trust and respect have been destroyed. We also know that there is no set of techniques that can fix it—but that it does need to be worked through in the context of safe and supportive relationships—ideally, in the context of faith-based communities that have an almost exquisite sense of timing, tact, and sensitivity. We do know that although it takes relationships to break people—it also takes people to help people heal. And those people need to be attentive, respectful, and active listeners—perhaps more willing to be a fan, friend, and facilitator than an expert. But perhaps most important is the ability to understand more of the experience of those who have had their trust and faith so significantly shattered. This indeed is challenging and difficult work, since it requires a kind of involvement and investment that few of us are really willing to undertake. Perhaps it is our own willingness to hear the experiences of those who have been exploited—and our desire to face these tragedies together—that really are at the core of the corrective emotional experience. Learning to be both affiliative and assertive (again)—and finding others who can help us become healthy and whole (again)—appears to be the heart of the matter. Those of us who want to help must be willing to enter into their world and learn from them what it means to have courage, to believe and trust (again), and to stay faithful to our values, vision, and mission when it seems like everything has gone wrong. In short, it requires biblical, realistic hope—not arrogant optimism or pseudo-solutions to complex and difficult problems.

This is a much-needed book for women and men of faith who want to understand more of what it means to stand together with people who so often feel confused, demoralized, and isolated. Our caring response begins with understanding abuse from the perspectives of both general (Part I) and special revelation (Part II). The importance of good thinking on these matters cannot be overstated. Finally, the themes will be addressed through the perspectives of pastoral care and professional intervention (Part III). I’d encourage you to do the hard work of exploring the issues through the foundational sections before considering some of the fine insights offered in the chapters on what it means to care deeply about restoring these individuals to greater measures of health, holiness, and happiness. Abuse and violence are by definition incredibly difficult constructs to really grasp. Well-intentioned efforts to be helpful may be misguided—even toxic—if we don’t fully grasp the nature of that responsible dominion having gone awry and that healthy relatedness being distorted. I commend to you the whole of this well-edited volume. The message for hope and healing that it offers our culture, our churches, and our ministries is desperately needed in the early part of the beginning of the twenty-first century.

Richard E. Butman, PhD

Professor of Psychology (Wheaton College)

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Part One

Understanding Sexual Abuse through the Social Sciences

1

Definitions and Prevalence Rates of Sexual Abuse

Quantifying, Explaining, and Facing a Dark Reality

Steven R. Tracy, PhD

I have written about *rape many times during the last fourteen years . . . It is difficult for many to imagine how one’s life changes after living through an experience of terror. I cannot imagine how my life might have been had I not been raped. I have little connection to my life prior to the rape. Rape forced me to start over. In a very disturbing way I experienced the *trauma of being torn from the womb and immediately recognizing that even while clothed, I am naked; even in a family, I am alone; even speaking, I am silenced; and even living, I am dying.

¹

*Sexual abuse (SA) is an incredibly complex and ugly subject. It is difficult and confusing to contemplate the possibility of vast numbers of fellow human beings all around us who stand naked while clothed, silenced while speaking, alone in a family, and dying while living. What should we make of this testimony? Is Ruth’s life-altering rape experience the rare exception, or is sexual abuse really as prevalent as many secular experts would have us believe? What exactly constitutes sexual abuse? Is it increasing or decreasing in frequency? What light does Scripture shed on the reality of sexual abuse? These are the critical questions we will seek to answer in this chapter.

Gospel Motivation for a Close Look

at Sexual Abuse

Until quite recently, physical and sexual abuse were not well understood, analyzed, or addressed. This changed dramatically in the 1970s when various professionals began writing detailed treatments on abuse. Many of these authors were secular or religiously liberal feminists who analyzed and addressed abuse by attacking *patriarchy, men, and even religion.² This is particularly evident in two of the earliest treatments of sexual abuse. In her classic work on childhood sexual abuse, The Best Kept Secret, Florence Rush argued that *child sexual abuse (CSA) has been widespread historically and presently due to patriarchy fueled by religion, particularly Christianity.³ Similarly, in Against Our Will, one of the first modern detailed treatments of rape, Susan Brownmiller argued that from prehistoric times to the present, rape has been widespread and "is nothing more or less than a conscious process by which all men keep all women in a state of fear."⁴ Thankfully, since the 1970s the sexual abuse literature has become more nuanced and balanced. Yet the fact remains that a high percentage of sexual abuse research and outreach is done by secular professionals and organizations.

Thus, it is important to note that Christians have the greatest motivations imaginable for grappling with and responding to the ugly reality of sexual abuse. Christian motivation for sexual abuse ministry can be summed up with a single, pregnant phrase: the gospel. The message of Christianity, the good news of the gospel, is that the innocent world God created has been corrupted and ravaged by sin. Sin infects and harms every person who walks the earth, resulting in a world of pain and evil, including sexual abuse. Incredibly, Jesus—the holy, divine Creator—voluntarily entered human history and took on human flesh for one primary purpose—to be fatally abused so that he could break the power of sin, death, and Satan.⁵ Jesus experienced physical and verbal abuse as well as sexual humiliation from being publicly crucified naked. Jesus summarized his ministry as a divine anointing to set captives free and release the oppressed (Luke 4:18–19). He showed particular love and care for the sexually broken.⁶ His earthly ministry was characterized by focused outreach to the marginalized, oppressed, and abused.⁷ It was also characterized by unflinching public warnings against abuse and clashes with spiritual and physical abusers.⁸ In summary, the gospel impels Christians to face the reality of widespread human sin, including abuse. It also impels us to confront abusers and minister to their victims.

Sexual Abuse Definitions and Prevalence

The Challenge

It should be noted at the outset of this discussion that accurate understandings of the *prevalence of sexual abuse are exceedingly difficult for several reasons: (1) Diverse definitions of sexual abuse lead to diverse and at times conflicting data. (2) Sexual abuse is humiliating and traumatizing for victims, making self-reports of sexual abuse notoriously unreliable, which can also lead to conflicting data. There is a strong consensus among experts that sexual abuse is seriously underreported and minimized by victims, and that it is one of the most underreported crimes in America. For instance, the National Violence Against Women Survey found that only one in five adult women reported their rapes to police.⁹ (3) Sexual abuse is painful and ugly for non-victims, creating a powerful innate *denial mechanism that often overrides clear evidence of abuse. This helps explain the extremely low rates of disclosure and prosecution of sexual abuse, particularly when perpetrated by family members.¹⁰ Denial of abuse is a widespread problem in the church and virtually every other social institution.

Definitions

It is essential that we construct precise definitions of sexual abuse. To do so, we will break this down into two subsets: (1) child sexual abuse and (2) adult sexual abuse. Child sexual abuse is the exploitation of a minor for the sexual gratification of another person through sexual contact or sexual interaction.¹¹ This definition encompasses a much broader range of behaviors than many people realize, including contact and non-contact abuse.

Abusive sexual contact encompasses a wide spectrum of increasingly intrusive types of contact: sexual kissing, touching clothed breasts, touching clothed pubic areas, touching/fondling breasts, touching/fondling genitals, oral sex, and intercourse. Abusive sexual interaction involves such acts as deliberate exposure of a minor to pornography, sexual acts, or one’s own sexual organs (i.e., *exhibitionism). While some of these types of sexual abuse are clearly much less severe than others, all are illegal in the United States, all are morally wrong, and all have the potential to create great damage.

¹²

Adult sexual abuse is "any sexual act in which the woman or man does not consent."¹³ In defining CSA the initiation, objections, and/or responses of the child to sexual activity are irrelevant since there is an intrinsic power and developmental disparity between adults and children (or children and adolescents). In defining adult sexual abuse, however, the critical factor is consent. Often misunderstandings of sexual abuse result from a wrong focus on the relationship between the individuals—e.g., it is rape if a stranger forces sex, may not be rape if it is a cohabiting partner, and is certainly not rape if it is a husband. But relationship is not the issue. Sexual intercourse is a most intimate and powerful human act, and regardless of the nature of the relationship or previous sexual activity, no one has a right to force sex acts on someone else. Force can include direct physical aggression and/or assault as well as threats or other forms of *coercive control.

Sexual Abuse Prevalence

There is overwhelming data from numerous research studies indicating that in the United States and around the world, sexual abuse is tragically widespread and prevalent.

Child Sexual Abuse

One of the most respected and thorough studies of child abuse is the National Incidence Study of Child Abuse and Neglect. The Fourth, and most recent National Incidence Study was released early in 2010. It revealed the following about CSA:

An estimated 135,000 children were sexually abused in 2005/2006, a 36 percent decrease from the previous National Incidence Study of 1993.

Girls were sexually abused at a rate over five times that of boys.

Black children were sexually abused at a rate almost twice that of white children.

Children in low socioeconomic families were three-and-a-half times more likely to be sexually abused.

37 percent of sexually abused children were abused by a biological parent, and another 23 percent were abused by a step-parent.

87 percent of sexually abused children were abused by a male.

¹⁴

There has been much discussion of the fact that government statistical rates for CSA declined markedly between the Third and Fourth Incidence Studies. This may, in part, reflect the positive impact of abuse prevention and response strategies, though it may also be explained by other factors such as changes in *Child Protective Agencies data collection and increased conservativism within Child Protective Services (CPS).

¹⁵

Even if this statistical decline represents a real decrease in abuse, our children are still experiencing dramatic rates of abuse. For instance, a recent large national survey of youth victimization (ages two to seventeen years old) found that, in the study year, over half of the youth had experienced a physical assault, more than one in eight had experienced some form of child maltreatment, one in twelve had experienced a sexual victimization; only 29 percent had no direct or indirect violent victimization.¹⁶ Numerous studies conducted in the past decade reveal high rates of child sexual abuse in America. More specifically, a meta-analysis of twenty-two American studies, using both national and regional sampling data, indicates that 30 to 40 percent of girls and 13 percent of boys experience childhood sexual abuse.¹⁷ Other more recent studies of childhood sexual abuse rates for women have revealed prevalence rates from 24 to 32 percent.

¹⁸

Finally, we should note that sexual exploitation of children and youth via the Internet is a huge and apparently growing problem. A recent Justice Department report estimates that there are more than 1 million pornographic images of children on the Internet, and one single child pornography site reportedly received 1 million hits in one month.¹⁹ A recent analysis of peer-to-peer network content on the Internet found that the most prevalent searches and the top two most prevalent filenames returned as query hits were child-pornography related. The median age searched for was thirteen years old.

²⁰

Adolescent and Young Adult Sexual Abuse

There is evidence that rates of sexual abuse among adolescent and young adult women has risen rather dramatically.²¹ One recent general population study of women found that 38 percent of all respondents reported at least one experience of sexual abuse in their lifetime, but for the women thirty-one years old and younger, almost 42 percent reported sexual abuse.²² According to a US Department of Justice report, the researchers discovered by the end of four years of college, 79 percent of women had experienced at least one incident of sexual victimization in their lifetimes.²³ The data also shows that for college students, over 70 percent of completed, attempted, or threatened rapes took place on a date, and the majority (60 percent) of the rapes occurred in the victim’s home.²⁴ Another Department of Justice source on dating violence asserts that 5 percent of college women experience a completed or attempted rape each year and 51 percent of college males admit perpetrating one or more sexual assault incidents during college.²⁵ Alarmingly high sexual assault rates are also being seen among high school age adolescents. In one major study of dating violence, 20 percent of American high school girls report being physically or sexually assaulted by a male partner.

²⁶

Another closely related issue is sexual harassment among college students. In a recent study which defined sexual harassment in a strict and narrow manner as "unwanted and unwelcome sexual behavior which interferes with your life," almost two-thirds of college students had experienced sexual harassment, less than 10 percent reported it, males and females were equally likely to be harassed, but females were significantly more likely to be upset by it.

²⁷

Adult Rape

The threat of sexual abuse does not end when one reaches adulthood, though adulthood is strongly impacted by experiences of prior sexual abuse. Sexual abuse *survivors are much more likely to be *re-victimized than are the non-abused.²⁸ More specifically, two out of every three people who are sexually victimized will be re-victimized.²⁹ This is part of the cascading effect of unhealed sexual abuse. In terms of general prevalence of rape among American adults, we can note the following. One out of six women is a victim of rape. Specifically, an estimated 18 million women and almost 3 million men in the United States have been raped.³⁰ *Intimate partner sexual assault is the most common sexual assault, with 14 to 25 percent of women reporting sexual assault by their intimate partners at some time during the relationship.³¹ The National Violence Against Women Survey reported that almost 25 percent of women and 7.6 percent of men were raped and/or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabitating partner, or date at some time in their lifetime.³² Prevalence of rape differs by age group, with the highest being one in five women ages eighteen to forty-nine, one in six women ages fifty to fifty-nine, and one in fifteen women age sixty and older.³³ Finally, we should note that while most of the literature on rape deals with female victims, sexual assault is also a serious problem for males. It is estimated that one in every ten rape victims is male in the United States, and about 2.78 million men have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.

³⁴

Global Sexual Abuse Prevalence

South Africa has the highest documented sexual assault rates in the world. A recent survey by the country’s Medical Research Council found that 27 percent of the men interviewed had raped someone, 46 percent of the self-confessed rapists had raped two or more women or girls, and one in five of the rapists were HIV+.³⁵ These rates mean that currently a woman born in South Africa has a greater chance of being raped than she has of learning to read.

The most comprehensive recent study of global sexual abuse was published by the World Health Organization in 2005.³⁶ This study was composed by teams that collected information from more than 24,000 women from fifteen sites in ten countries. This study corroborated previous findings about the staggering global prevalence of sexual abuse.³⁷ This study specifically found that the proportion of partnered women who had ever experienced physical or sexual violence, or both, by an intimate partner in their lifetime, ranged from 15 to 71 percent, with most sites falling between 29 and 62 percent. Overall, the percentage of women who reported sexual abuse by a partner ranged from 6 percent in Japan, Serbia, and Montenegro to 59 percent in Ethiopia, with the majority of settings falling between 10 and 50 percent. The proportion of women physically forced into intercourse ranged from 4 percent in Serbia and Montenegro to 46 percent in provincial Bangladesh and Ethiopia. Nearly one third of Ethiopian women reported being physically forced by a partner to have sex against their wills within the previous twelve months. Younger women, especially those ages fifteen to nineteen years old, were at higher risk of current (within the previous twelve months) physical or sexual violence, or both, by a partner in all settings except Japan and Ethiopia. The combined prevalence of physical and sexual violence by a non-partner after the age of fifteen years old ranged from 5 percent in Ethiopia to 65 percent in Samoa.

Historically, sexual abuse has often increased during times of war. Recent global conflicts have dramatically repeated this pattern. For instance, during the Bosnian conflict in the 1990s, tens of thousands of women were systematically raped, particularly by Serbians.³⁸ Similarly, one major survey found that in Liberia’s recent civil war, 75 percent of the women had been raped, most having been *gang raped.³⁹ Unfortunately, sexual violence does not necessarily end when large-scale fighting ends. It has the potential to impact an entire generation and can result in a long-term elevation of sexual assault rates. Perhaps the most salient example of this is found in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Even though a series of wars with invading foreign armies and widespread civil war has ended, its sexual violence has not abated and is the worst in the world in terms of sheer numbers as well as level of brutality.⁴⁰ Tens of thousands of women and children, and numbers of men, are estimated to be raped in just one single eastern province.⁴¹ Similarly, a 2007 survey in post-war Liberia found that 12 percent of girls ages seventeen and under acknowledged having been sexually abused in some way in the previous eighteen months.

⁴²

Surprisingly little detailed research has been conducted to determine sexual abuse prevalence rates among *evangelicals. The data we do have suggests that sexual abuse rates among evangelicals are at parity with the general population. For instance, in 1989 the Christian Reformed Church commissioned a research study to determine prevalence of abuse in their denomination. The findings were based on adults’ self-reports. Given what we know about abuse victims’ tendency to deny and minimize abuse, these prevalence findings are undoubtedly lower than actual abuse rates experienced. Twelve percent of the respondents reported having been sexually abused.⁴³ A frequently cited sexuality survey of two thousand Christian women conducted by three well-respected evangelical social scientists revealed that 50 percent of the women surveyed reported they had experienced unwanted sexual touch.

⁴⁴

The Current Trajectory of Sexual Abuse Rates

While there is considerable debate regarding the current trajectory of sexual abuse, most experts agree that CSA has declined in recent years, though there is no consensus regarding the near future. It also seems apparent that sexual abuse rates among adolescent and young adults have risen markedly in recent years. Unfortunately, there are solid reasons to believe abuse rates among young adults will remain precipitously high and may rise even more in the future. In particular, I believe the increasing *sexualization of young girls,⁴⁵ the widespread usage and influence of pornography,⁴⁶ and the recent *hook up trend threaten to further elevate sexual abuse rates among female adolescents and young adults.⁴⁷ Globally, there is evidence that physical and sexual violence against women is increasing.⁴⁸ War, increased *sex trafficking, disintegration of the family, and the proliferation of Internet pornography are all likely factors in this increase, which does not appear likely to abate soon.

Biblical/Theological Explanation

of Sexual Abuse Prevalence

Scripture does not sanitize human nature or the accounts of Jewish and Christian leaders. Rather, Scripture teaches that Adam and Eve’s disobedience plunged the human race into universal sin and *depravity and this resulted in large-scale abuse. The first account of physical abuse in Scripture (Gen 4:2–16) is found in the very next chapter after the account of the first human sin. Only two chapters later we find that moral corruption, particularly abuse, was so pervasive that God decided to destroy the human race (Gen 6:11–13). Throughout the rest of Genesis we find accounts of *incest (19:30–38), kidnapping and forced slavery (14:1–12), attempted *homosexual gang rape (19:4–5), and heterosexual rape (34:1–4). These incidents include abuse between family members, abuse committed or potentially allowed by spiritual leaders, as well as abuse committed by pagans. Scripture reveals that abuse is not the exception to human relations; it is all too common even among believers.

For instance, Righteous Lot offered his own daughter to be raped by wicked men.⁴⁹ Abraham, the father of the Jewish nation and exemplar of faith, twice protected himself by exposing his wife to sexual abuse by a pagan monarch. His son, Isaac, also one of the patriarchs of Israel, did exactly the same thing.⁵⁰ David, the greatest human monarch in Jewish history, was guilty of murder and either adultery or rape. He also failed to protect his own daughter from being raped by a family member, and he engaged in a *conspiracy of silence with her rapist.⁵¹ Christians in the Corinthian church engaged in a form of incest that was more perverted than that practiced by their pagan neighbors (1 Cor 5:1). The Apostle Paul, affirming that abuse is a wide-spread human behavior, cites physical and verbal abuse as concrete evidence of the universal depravity of the human race (Rom 3:13–16). He also states that abuse will become even more prevalent in the last days (2 Tim 3:1–4). In short, due to innate human sinfulness, those with more power, regardless of their religious identity or family ties, often take advantage of those with less power through physical and sexual abuse.

Conclusion

Sexual abuse across the age span is tragically prevalent in the United States and around the world. Biblical teaching on universal human depravity and abuse sheds much light on the dynamics of contemporary sexual abuse. It also explains its prevalence. As painful as it is to accept this ugly reality, we must, for abuse is a gospel issue.

Questions for Discussion

1. Explain how sexual abuse is a gospel issue? Coming from your own faith tradition, what elements of the gospel do you see that need greater depth, clarity, or definition in order to adequately address the reality of sexual abuse and violence? List the ways and policies in which your church fleshes out the ethics of the gospel. What key areas need further thought and development?

2. Why do Christians have such an effective platform to both call out the abusers and bring healing to the abused? List some biblical texts you could use to explain this. Historically, how do most Christians respond to sexual abuse? Why? Compare this to other healing ministries local churches have. What makes it uniquely difficult to respond to sexual abuse?

3. What biblical passages or theological principles are most helpful in explaining the prevalence of sexual abuse? List some biblical examples in which Jesus ministers to various forms of sexual exploitation. What commonalities emerge from these passages? Brainstorm various ways these passages could be discussed, preached, and used to craft or improve a church policy that addresses sexual abuse.

4. What is the best way to define sexual abuse? What is the distinction between contact and non-contact sexual abuse? List some precise examples. Interview a mature survivor willing to give his or her insight, especially if you are crafting literature or a church policy to address sexual abuse. Are you presently aware of any cases of *wife/marital rape among your acquaintances? Discuss *mandated reporting with a counselor or social worker to get a better understanding of the responsibilities various professional community leaders have (e.g., counselors, nurses, pastors, and educators).

5. Whether in a home, church, or on a college campus, where has sexual abuse most recently been reported in your area? If there was a conspiracy of silence, how did it manifest itself? If you have any friends or family members who are missionaries, ask them to explain how the combination of sexual abuse, war, and political corruption has played out in sexual abuse. How would a sexual abuse survivor feel in your church? Are victims’ stories ever mentioned?

For Further Study

Allender, Dan B. The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse. Rev. ed. Colorado Springs: NavPress, 1995.

Buchwald, Emilie, Pamela R. Fletcher, and Martha Roth, Transforming a Rape Culture. Rev. ed. Minneapolis: Milkweed Editions, 2005.

Clark Kroeger, Catherine and James R. Beck, eds. Women, Abuse, and the Bible: How Scripture Can Be Used to Hurt or Heal. Grand Rapids: Baker, 1996.

Loseke, Donileen, Richard Gelles, and Mary Cavanaugh, eds. Current Controversies on Family Violence. 2nd. ed. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 2005.

National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information. http://nccanch.acf

.hhs.gov.

National Sexual Violence Resource Center. www.nsvrc.org.

Tracy, Steven. Mending the Soul: Understanding and Healing Abuse. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2005.

United States Department of Justice, Office on Violence against Women. http://www

.usdoj.gov/ovw.

World Health Organization, Department of Gender, Women, and Health. http://www

.who.int/gender/en.

1. Schmidt, After the Fact, 14.

2. See for instance, Dobash and Dobash, Violence against Wives. Two later classic works written from the same militant conceptual framework are Warshaw, I Never Called It Rape and Dworkin, Letters from a War Zone.

3. Rush, The Best Kept Secret. Rush first presented her child sexual abuse hypothesis in a seminal speech at a New York Radical Feminist Conference in April 1971.

4. Brownmiller, Against Our Will, 5.

5. Cf. Isah 53:3–6; Col 2:13–15; Heb 2:14–15.

6. Cf. Matt 21:31–32; Luke 7:36–50; John 4:4–26; 8:3–11.

7. Cf. Matt 9:9–13; 18:1–14; 19:13–15; 21:12–16, 28–46; 13:10–17; 14:21–24; 15:1–32; 18:9–14; 21:1–3.

8. Cf. Matt 15:1–9; 23:11–36; Mark 3:1–6; Luke 13:31–35; 20:45–47.

9. Tjaden and Thoennes, Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Rape Victimization.

10. Judith Lewis Herman argues that reported cases of incest represent less than 10 percent of the actual instances, Father-Daughter Incest, 223–24. Catherine Cameron found that of the seventy-two women in her study who had experienced childhood sexual abuse, they had been assaulted by over two hundred different people, predominantly family members, and yet not a single individual had been charged with a crime, Resolving Childhood Trauma, 268.

11. Tracy, Mending the Soul, 27. See also, Allender, The Wounded Heart, 48.

12. For the specific legal definitions of child abuse based on federal and state legislation, go to definitions on the Child Information Gateway website: http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/define.cfm.

13. Toronto Crisis Center, Rape, 62.

14. Sedlak et al., Fourth National Incidence Study of Child Abuse and Neglect.

15. For an analysis of this decline, see Jones et al., Why is Child Sexual Abuse Declining? 1139–58.

16. Finkelhor et al., The Victimization of Children and Youth, 5–25.

17. Bolen and Scannapieco, Prevalence of Child Sexual Abuse, 281–313.

18. Briere and Elliott, Prevalence and Psychological Sequelae of Self-Reported Childhood Physical and Sexual Abuse in a General Population Sample of Men and Women, 1205–22.

19. Wortley and Smallbone, Child Pornography on the Internet, 12.

20. Steel, Child Pornography in Peer-to-Peer Networks, 560–68.

21. Casey and Nurius, Trends in the Prevalence and Characteristics of Sexual Violence, 629–44.

22. Ibid., 635–37.

23. Violence against Women, 1. For an excellent discussion of the research on date rape, see Cook and Koss, More Data Have Accumulated Supporting Date and Acquaintance Rape as Significant Problems for Women, 97–116.

24. Fisher et al., The Sexual Victimization of College Women.

25. Campus Dating Violence Fact Sheet. See also, Adams-Curtis and Forbes, College Women’s Experiences of Sexual Coercion, 91–122.

26. Silverman et al., Dating Violence against Adolescent Girls and Associated Substance Abuse, Unhealthy Weight Control, Sexual Risk Behavior, Pregnancy, and Suicidality, 572–79.

27. Hill and Silva, Drawing the Line, 2–16; emphasis original.

28. Arata, Child Sexual Abuse and Sexual Revictimization, 135–64. Also, Roodman and Clum, Victimization Rates and Method Variance, 183–204.

29. Classen et al., Sexual Revictimization, 103–29.

30. Tjaden and Thoennes, Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Rape Victimization.

31. McFarlane and Malecha, Sexual Assault among Intimates. Experts estimate that 10 to 14 percent of married women experience marital rape, Bennice and Resick, Marital Rape, 228–46.

32. Tjaden and Thoennes, Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence.

33. Ibid.

34. Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network at: http://www.rainn.org; accessed May 21, 2009.

35. Jewkes et al., Understanding Men’s Health and Use of Violence. See also, Kapp, Rape on Trial in South Africa, 718–19.

36. WHO Multi-country Study on Women’s Health and Domestic Violence against Women.

37. For instance, a meta-analysis of 169 international studies found that the global lifetime sexual abuse prevalence rate for females is 25 percent and 8 percent for males, World Health Organization, Comparative Risk Assessment.

38. Allen, Rape Warfare.

39. Kristof, After Wars, Mass Rapes Persist.

40. Wakabi, Sexual Violence Increasing in Democratic Republic of Congo, 15–16.

41. Gettleman, Rape Epidemic Raises Trauma of Congo War.

42. Kristof, After Wars, Mass Rapes Persist.

43. Annis and Rice, A Survey of Abuse Prevalence in the Christian Reformed Church, 7–40.

44. Hart et al., Secrets of Eve, 181.

45. See Durham, The Lolita Effect, and also, Levin and Kilbourne, So Sexy So Soon.

46. Jensen, Cruel to Be Hard, 33–34, 45–48. See also: Paul, Pornified; and Russell, Dangerous Relationships.

47. Anonymous M.D., Unprotected. See also, Stepp, How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both.

48. Watts and Zimmerman, Violence against Women, 1232–37.

49. Cf. Gen 19:7–8; 2 Pet 2:7.

50. Cf. Gen 12:10–20; 20:1–18; 26:1–11.

51. Cf. 2 Samuel 11; 13:7, 20–39.

2

The Dynamics of the Sexually Abusing Family

A Family Systems Perspective

Cheryl Clayworth Belch, MA, MTS, DMin, CFLE

In recent years, public attention has been drawn to the prevalence of *depression, behavioral problems, abusive relationships, broken marriages, violence, and *suicidal ideation within our communities. Many speculate as to the reasons behind such chaos, especially with this season of war, terrorism, and economic recession placing additional stress on the family. Perhaps the most startling factor is the emerging recognition of the problem of *intrafamilial sexual abuse and the devastation it leaves behind. Once considered to be a rarity, it is now reported to range from 5 percent to 15 percent in the general population and possibly even greater among high-risk groups such as families dealing with serious chemical dependencies.

¹

In this chapter, I will examine the dynamics of the sexually abusing family and support the claim that *family dysfunction, as considered from a *systems perspective, contributes to the abuse of children and adolescents by parenting figures and by older siblings. To accomplish this, I will briefly mention some of the past and present theories that regulate society’s feelings toward *incest, as well as present a general overview of *systems theory, focusing on the family structure, which regulates the family’s capacity to function and maintain the *status quo. These principles of *family system theory will be used to give understanding to the family dynamics during occurrences of incest by a parental figure and/or a sibling.

Definition of Incest

Although there are variations in the legal definitions of incest, most researchers state that when it comes to the victimization of a *minor,² incest includes all forms of erotic sexual contacts, sexual demands or threats initiated by any adult who is related to the child by family ties or surrogate family ties.³ Sue Blume further explains:

[I]ncest, as both *sexual abuse and abuse of power, is violence that does not require force . . . it is abuse because it doesn’t take into consideration the needs or the wishes of the child, rather meeting the needs of the ‘caretaker’ at the child’s expense . . . incest can be seen as the imposition of sexually inappropriate acts, or acts with sexual overtones, or any use of a minor child to meet the sexual or emotional needs of one or more persons who derive authority through ongoing emotional bonding with that child.

⁴

This extended explanation would include sexual abuse (SA) between siblings, which will be discussed later in the chapter.

Conventional Understanding: The Incest Taboo

There have been occurrences of incest recorded since ancient times, and for the most part, it has been considered to be a violation of social or *cultural norms. In Scripture, we find the example of David’s son, Amnon, premeditating and committing incest with his half-sister, Tamar (2 Samuel 13). Even in that *patriarchal society and culture, this treachery was considered to be so destructive that it ruins the life of a young virgin. While her father, David, was angry, it was her brother Absalom who took revenge into his own hands and later killed his half-brother, Amnon.

In the past, it seems that cultural limitations regarding sexual relationships followed a similar line to what was considered to be socially acceptable in the rules of marriage and to guard against inbreeding. Several theories have emerged from this discussion as having some impact on the occurrence of incest: the Westermarck theory, Freud’s *psychoanalysis, and Bowlby’s *attachment theory.

In the early 1900s, Edward Westermarck made the observation that:

[T]here was the remarkable absence of erotic feeling between persons living very closely together from childhood . . . sexual indifference is combined with the positive feeling of