Elvis and the Devil in Disguise (A Southern Cousins Mystery With Bonus Charmed Cat Mystery)

By Peggy Webb

Jack and Callie are awaiting the arrival of their baby and the whole Valentine clan is in a fever.

Jack, code name Black Panther, goes on a final dangerous mission for the Company while Callie grabs her last-chance getaway before there’s a whole lotta crying going on in the Jones household. She and her dog Elvis climb into her mama’s pink Cadillac with the rest of the Valentine gang and head to New Orleans where Rocky Malone is showing the treasures from his last archeological dig. Cousin Lovie wants to make the world go away so she can have fun with her hunka burnin’ love...until somebody spoils the party with murder. Suspicious minds put the blame on Rocky.

As the Valentines go into full sleuth mode they encounter so many surprises they’re all shook up. With Jack in parts unknown, Callie calls Uncle Charlie to the rescue. But can he and Elvis save the day in time for the Valentine family to follow that dream?

This cozy includes a short story prequel to Peggy’s new Charmed Cat Mystery series. The paperback version also includes a full length copy of Peggy’s most recent Southern Cousins Mystery, Elvis and the Blue Suede Bones.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Peggy Webb
• Release date: Mar 28, 2019
• ISBN: 9781370739219

Peggy Webb

Peggy Webb is the author of 200 magazine humor columns, 2 screenplays, and 70 books.

Book preview

Elvis and the Devil in Disguise

A Southern Cousins Mystery

With Bonus Charmed Cat Mystery Prequel

Peggy Webb

WH

Westmoreland House

Elvis and the Devil in Disguise, Copyright © 2019 by Peggy Webb

A Charmed Cat Mystery In Which The Sea Keeps Secrets, Copyright © 2019 by Peggy Webb

All rights reserved.

Smashwords Edition.

Original Cover Art, Copyright © 2019 by Cecilia Griffith

Cover Design, Vicki Hinzi, 2019

Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

Published in the United States by Westmoreland House, Mooreville, Mississippi.

Reviews for the Southern Cousins Mysteries

Prepare to laugh out loud.

--Library Journal

In a style that will remind readers of beloved mystery author Anne George’s Southern Sisters mysteries, author Peggy Webb captures the same charm and grace in her delightfully funny tales, along with just the right amount of suspense to delight cozy readers.

--The Times Record News

Webb writes purely funny scenes with wacky characters getting into ridiculously silly situations, and all with a southern flair.

--Booklist

Wacky…Elvis continues to be the saving grace of this cozy series.

--Publishers Weekly

Another crazy, fast-paced mystery sure to leave cozy fans chuckling and waiting for the next adventure.

--Booklist

Webb’s sly sense of humor and neatly plotted mystery is laugh-out-loud hilarious.

--Romantic Times

Peggy Webb is a comic genius. With the sly wit of a modern Mark Twain and the Southern flair of Fried Green Tomatoes, she creates an unforgettable, laugh-aloud story. Elvis and the Dearly Departed is a must read!

--Charlotte Hughes, New York Times bestselling author

Elvis and the Dearly Departed is pure southern lunacy of the best possible kind. Read this book then give it to your best friend—or anyone else you know who needs a good laugh. I’m already looking forward to Peggy Webb’s next book. I can’t wait to see what Callie and Elvis get up to next.

--Laurien Berenson, author of Doggie Day Care Murder

Peggy Webb and laughter go together like grits and gravy. Elvis and the Dearly Departed will leave you hollering for more.

--Vicki Lewis Thompson, New York Times bestselling author

Webb’s clever and wickedly witty comedic mystery takes her readers through a fast-paced family plot full of irreverently clever and entertaining twists that would leave ‘Elvis the Pelvis’ turning in his grave!

--Tom Wilson, creator of Ziggy ©

Southern Cousins Mystery Titles

(Listed most recent to earliest)

Elvis and the Devil in Disguise

Elvis and the Blue Suede Bones

Elvis and the Pink Cadillac Corpse

Elvis and the Rock-A-Hula Baby Capers

Elvis and the Buried Brides

Elvis and the Deadly Love Letters (short story)

Elvis and the Bridegroom Stiffs

Elvis and the Blue Christmas Corpse

Elvis and the Tropical Double Trouble

Elvis and the Memphis Mambo Murders

Elvis and the Grateful Dead

Elvis and the Dearly Departed

Jack Loves Callie Tender (Series prequel)

Table of Contents

Reviews for the Southern Cousins Mysteries

Southern Cousins Mysteries Titles

Elvis and the Devil in Disguise

Chapter 1, Elvis’ Opinion on Travel, Cats and Old Bones

Chapter 2, Food, Food and Food

Chapter 3, Elvis’ Opinion on Love Potions and Living High on the Hog

Chapter 4, Lovesick Dogs, Chicken Risotto and Death Warmed Over

Chapter 5, Elvis’ Opinion on Natural Causes, Canine Detective Work and Butter

Chapter 6, Priceless Artifacts and Blowup Dolls

Chapter 7, Elvis’ Opinion on Intrigue, Murder and Talking Cats

Chapter 8, Mother-to-be Sleuthing and Other Ridiculous Notions

Chapter 9, Lovie’s Opinion on Operation Romance and Limited Options

Chapter 10, Elvis’ Opinion on Crawling Snakes Versus Four-legged Snakes

Chapter 11, Lovie’s Opinion on Street Urchins and Unused Eggs

Chapter 12, Big Surprises and Big Scares

Chapter 13, Lovie’s Opinion on Park Benches, Little Boys and Fate

Chapter 14, Elvis’ Opinion on Everything

Chapter 15, Secrets, Lies and Sleuthing

Chapter 16, Pink Pearls, Riding Shotgun and Foiled Plans

Chapter 17, Wedding Mayhem and an Early Arrival

Chapter 18, Elvis’ Opinion on Weddings, Babies and Heroic Dogs

Read More

A Charmed Cat Mystery In Which The Sea Keeps Secrets, bonus prequel to Peggy Webb’s new mystery series

A Charmed Cat Mystery In Which Magnolia Wild Vanishes, Book 1, Chapter 1

About the Author

Chapter 1

Elvis’ Opinion on Travel, Cats and Old Bones

I’m packing my PupPeroni and my pink silk doggie pillow for a road trip to New Orleans with cousin Lovie and my human mom, Callie Valentine Jones. Need I say we’re going over Jack Jones’ dead body? He’s my human dad, about to become the father of a little short bald person who will be my personal responsibility. To say he’s overprotective is an understatement. In addition he thinks his opinion counts.

After all these years of being married into the Valentine family, he’s still clinging to this ridiculous delusion. I tried to set him straight. When he was laying down the law, I tugged on his blue jeans and told him in my inimitable style that How Great Thou Art does not apply to him. He just didn’t get it. He’s the most dangerous agent in the Company, but he doesn’t have a clue how these Valentine women think. Logic does not apply. Just because Callie is so pregnant she looks like a tall skinny bird who swallowed a hippo, that does not mean she’s going to miss a road trip to see the traveling exhibit of the Treasures of Tulum.

Rocky Malone is the archeologist who’s bringing the Treasures to New Orleans. Cousin Lovie is not about to miss this opportunity to see if she can finally get her long time on-again, off-again boyfriend to discover her personal National Treasure.

Naturally, where Lovie goes, so does Callie. She has her own ways of getting around Jack when he puts his foot down. I know what all it involves, but I’m a dog of major discretion, not to mention enormous talent and savoir faire. You’d have to cut off my mismatched ears to get me to reveal family secrets.

I’ll give you a little hint, though. Callie’s ways involve letting Jack think How Great Thou Art was written personally for him, and that furthermore, she thinks he can walk on water…as long as his opinion jives with hers. Jack may know a hundred ways to kill a man, but when it comes to my human mom, he’s just a kitty cat.

Well, bless’a my soul. Wash my mouth out with soap! I must have cats on the brain.

Naturally we can’t take a road trip without Callie’s mom, Ruby Nell, and her BFF, Fayrene. They’re packing their feathers and maybe even a dead chicken because they think Rocky’s exhibit from the jungles will give them another chance to go native and chant spells.

The best part, though, is that we’ll be going in Ruby Nell’s pink Cadillac with the top down. I can picture myself sitting in the back seat with my ears blowing in the wind. If word gets out, there’s liable to be a crowd gathered at the side of the road to pay homage to the King. That would be yours truly, the late great Elvis reincarnated in a dog suit.

But back to the cat… After the trauma of finding her garden filled with blue suede bones, Ruby Nell took a little restorative trip to the gambling casinos. She was so traumatized, a day trip to the casinos in the Mississippi Delta wouldn’t do. She and Fayrene booked a cruise and gambled their way across the Gulf all the way from New Orleans to Cozumel. They met the Delaney sisters on the cruise ship, and that’s where the cat comes in.

While Callie and Lovie are holed up in a fancy hotel in the French Quarter, I’ll be in the Old Garden District with the Delaney sisters and their cat, Houdini. Ruby Nell says that Grace Delaney thinks he’s the great magician reincarnated, and I say suspicious minds are going to check that out. As far as I’m concerned, I’m the only famous person who has ever come back as a four-legged pet. This cat is bound to be a charlatan. I say if he got sent back to this earth in a cat suit, he’s the devil in disguise.

Chapter 2

Food, Food and Food

It’s not easy to leave home—that would be my little white cottage in the heart of downtown Mooreville, Mississippi, population soon to be 654 thanks to little Jackie Nell, who will shortly make her appearance in the Jones household. It can’t be soon enough for me. I’m bigger than my house, and all I ever think of is food.

As a matter of fact, the main reason I’m here in New Orleans is for the food—Po Boy sandwiches with fried shrimp, all the bananas foster I can eat, and of course those magnificent beignets at Café Du Monde in the French Quarter. Lovie thinks I’m here for her. And I am, really and truly. But since I’ve been eating for little Jackie Nell and me, both, getting into trouble with Lovie has taken a backseat to secret forays into the kitchen. Jack keeps wondering where all the leftovers went. But I’m not about to point to my ever-expanding self and confess that the roast beef Lovie brought over tasted even better at midnight than it had at supper.

And speaking of food, we’ve just pulled into the driveway of an ancient mansion in mostly good repair in the Old Garden District of New Orleans. A little gray-haired lady with a round smiling face and an even rounder body trots out, wiping her hands on an apron. Mama has said that both the Delaney sisters are wonderful cooks, and I’m hoping the apron means there’s a big chocolate cake waiting. Or a pound cake drizzled with lemon icing. Shoot. I’m not particular. After our harrowing six hour drive south—harrowing only because Mama and Lovie took turns driving--any old cake will do.

Grace! Mama barrels out of the car and gives Grace Delaney a hug that involves squealing and jumping up and down. Which goes to show that you don’t have to get old just because you’re ticking off birthdays on the calendar.

I pat my womb and tell Little Jackie Nell, See, you can learn a lot about living large from your grandmother.

You think she understands you? Lovie says as Mama and Fayrene trot off with Grace.

Of course. I talk to her all the time.

What if it’s a he?

Because I know what I know.

I give my cousin my new Madonna smile which Jack says is beautiful and my cousin says borders on a self-satisfied smirk. I take this as a good sign. Lovie doesn’t have an envious bone in her body, but I