Students of Marriage

By Tosin Ojumu

A short ebook from my relationship series and blog: "Finding Mr Huggie-Wuggie" that is all about building an outstanding foundation for an outstanding marriage. This ebook contains 8 articles:
Students of Marriage
“... I refuse to accept that having an excellent marriage is simply a matter of luck, I believe that there HAVE to be wise and knowledgeable steps that you could take to maximise your chances of marital success. By success I don’t just mean a marriage that manages to avoid break-up, but rather one that is a true union built and nurtured on love, where the parties grow stronger and stronger together but also manage to celebrate the individuality of each spouse...”

Concerns about Dating
“... Now the things that truly make dating exciting – romantic dinners, staring deep into one another’s eyes, touching or cultivating physical contact – these all cultivate an intimacy which human nature will want to take further and further – especially if you are very conscious of how single you are, and how much you want it... Now, personally speaking, because I want to totally avoid sexual temptation, I am not going to tiptoe as far as I possibly can up to the boundaries of sexual purity – rather I am going to run away as hard and as fast as I can in the opposite direction. ...”

Musings about Relationships
“...OK, I must admit that I have been simply *itching* to write something – a note – whatever – about relationships for a very long time. I think about relationships a lot, (seriously, *a lot*) and wanting to discuss it is partly about setting the world to rights, talking about things that I observe generally that make me shake my head, and it is also partly about wanting to talk about the relationship that I hope to have, in the hope that it might possibly resonate with someone out there handsome holy and available...”

Why Am I so Scared...Of What I Want?
I have spoken to myself, analysed, sat down, told myself off countless times, and yet it’s always the same – why why why?!?!?!
I guess ultimately (obviously!) it’s because emotional intimacy equals vulnerability, and the more intimacy you desire, the greater the potential for vulnerability. After all, my husband will have greater access to my heart and “feelings” than any one else has ever had.

In Anticipation of Marital Fighting
“...This is why I want to marry someone who is as committed to Christ as I am, and who has also known intense difficulties even with seemingly straightforward things, as I have done. If he is like this, then he would hopefully not run away at the first sign of difficulty, or even regard difficulty as a “No” sign from God. He would hopefully have had experience of standing his ground, fighting with determination. He will not think that the difficulties indicate a problem with me....”

Faith and Submission
“... I have been brought up in a Christian household from birth, so I have been exposed from childhood to the Bible verses that say that a wife should submit to her husband*. Actually, even as a kid I resisted this, as to me it sounded so ridiculous, that one party to the marriage should automatically submit – just because of gender! This is to me as ridiculous as suggesting submission on the basis of height, or weight, or ethnicity. However, this one the Bible DEFINITELY says! ...”

How Modern Life Affects Relationships
“... Perhaps it is naïve of me to suggest that modern marriages face any extra stresses compared to marriages of bygone eras. In most ways of course, our lives are a lot less stressful, with labour-saving devices to do everything that our forefathers and foremothers (or their servants) would have toiled endlessly over. However, those labour-saving devices have to be purchased; and to be able to afford the funds to purchase these we have to go to work.
I think people in our days, especially in the West, spend so much time working in external jobs that it cannot

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tosin Ojumu
• Release date: Apr 8, 2019
• ISBN: 9780463966518

Tosin Ojumu

Hello, my name is Tosin and for many years I have sat down and thought through questions about how to have an outstandingly successful marriage, and what I need to do before I get married to best ensure that successful marriage. Over the next few weeks and months I aim to publish a new ebook everyday from my blog and relationship series "Finding Mr Huggie-Wuggie." Visit my blog address listed here to see the full list of ebooks as well as video excerpts for each ebook :)

Book preview

Students of Marriage

Copyright 2019 by Tosin Ojumu

Published at Smashwords.com

Thank you for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite authorized retailer. Thank you for your support.

Table of Contents

Why This Is Such a Big Deal for Me!

Students of Marriage

Concerns about Dating

Musings about Relationships

Why Am I so Scared...Of What I Want?!

In Anticipation of Marital Fighting

Faith and Submission

How Modern Life Affects Relationships

Cover Image by natureworks from Pixabay

The ebook summary is available on my website at https://huggie-wuggie.com/excerpts/ebook-students-of-marriage/

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Why This Is Such a Big Deal for Me

This ebook was previously posted on my blog "Finding Mr Huggie-Wuggie" on February 28 2011. It seeks to explain why this topic is such a big deal for me that I would write so extensively about it.

For a short video intro to this ebook please check out my website at: https://huggie-wuggie.com/excerpts/why-this-is-such-a-big-deal-for-me/

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OK, I think that I can admit that this is a very big deal for me! I guess it's fair to say that the question of whom to marry is a big deal for anyone - especially any single woman. But most blogs and articles etc that I have come across seem to suggest that as a single woman you are looking for someone - almost anyone to commit to you in marriage, and the goal is almost just to get to the aisle with a halfway decent guy. This is not the case for me at all.

For me, marriage represents on one hand so many hopes, and yearnings, and on the other hand so many anxieties and fears. I've been thinking about it for so many years, watching couples, reading columns. So on one hand, I dream about what it could be, how beautiful it could be. On the other hand, I think about all I have seen, all the things that people say, and what they don't say, how SO MANY women stop gushing about their men straight after they get married. (Before the wedding, non-stop exclamations about his un-matchable excellence. After the wedding - sudden silence). I know that it is hard work, harder than most people will admit. For myself, because I have dreamt about a wonderful marriage for such a long time, I have to believe that these dreams are possible, and attainable.

On the other hand, I know that marrying the wrong guy, or marrying the right guy in the wrong way, will be the quickest way to break those dreams. This is why this subject is such a big deal for me. This is why I want to take my time to pray, observe, observe further, assess. I think I definitely need to focus more on prayer. It's just that when I start