Help! I am over 40, Depressed, Suicidal & Broke!

By John Yeoh

This book clearly spells out an autobiography of man over 40 who battled from depression hail from Penang, Malaysia. John Yeoh, who is a software engineer by trade, encountered the first depression in his teens. His anxieties eventually cause him to have agoraphobia so severe that he often locked himself in the room and shun out social life. He used to be a member of Toastmasters International for 10 years, giving numerous speeches in competition both Humorous and International. When he was about to hang himself out of desperation, he soon found out that God revealed to him that he could use his current talent to write a book. This book is useful for people who are in still coping with depression, suitable for all age with actual and practical ways on how to deal and overcome depression.

• Language: English
• Publisher: John Yeoh
• Release date: Apr 18, 2019
• ISBN: 9781386610519

John Yeoh

John Yeoh is Chinese, 41 this year and hail from Penang, Malaysia.  He experience his first depression at the early age of 14 and subsequently during his adult life, he attempted suicide. He used to be a member of Toastmasters International for 10 years.  When he has reached some crossroads in his life, he choose life over desperation and wrote his personal memoir on how he was depressed and to overcome it.  At the moment, he still works for a Telco company and will be jobless in 2 months unless his effort on writing does come into fruition. Currently he stays in Subang Jaya, Selangor and is still searching for an ideal wife that will complete his life.  

Book preview

Forward

Many people wrote their books by copying a lot of ideas from many sources. Most never reveal the truth about themselves. They would rather die than to review all the sordid past of their lives. We are not perfect. I am not perfect either. I am on the other hand are different than the norm as I choose to tell the truth. Truth really hurts when you touch a lot of touchy subjects but I really enjoy revealing them as I have to bare my soul to tell you the truth, the undiluted, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

This book is suitable to all ages, I put it in my title that it is about people over 40 but I really welcome any millennials to read them so that they could avoid any pitfalls in their lives and take the quickest shortcut to achieve their life goals.  I do want to point out that I use some quotations from the Bible so if anyone of you felt offended by the sayings of the Holy Scriptures, that's tough because I am writing based on my personal opinions and experiences. 

I would like each of you all to read this book with an open mind.  You mind should be like a fertile soil that needs constant tilling, sowing and watering to produce good crops. If you let your mind to go idle and run wild, then it is akin to allowing weeds to grow. Just Imagine if you would vegetate in front of the idiot box for the whole day, what have you actually achieved? Nothing, except getting high from lot of CGI Sci-Fi movies, sexual explicit suggestions and a choke full of expletives that would make anyone squirm.

So I would suggest that you to sit down on a well-lit area; armed yourself with a nice cup of chamomile tea and read this book, slowly with eager minds so that all the ideas that I set forth will be planted into your fertile mind like a field that will bear good crops of 30-fold, 50-fold and a 100-fold. 

Chapter 1 - Desperation

Ain’t life a bitch ?  Go ahead unscramble it yourself and you will find it to be true. Some years ago, someone sends me a WhatsApp message with the Word: Desperation is an anagram word " A Rope Ends It ". How ironic. There is a hidden suicide method attached to the word desperation.  

I feel bored that I would rather die than to keep on living. I just lay on my bed staring at my ceiling fan for hours, listening tirelessly to my annoying humming from my ancient air-conditioning. My mind is so tired and I seemmed to lack interest of anything. In fact, I am finding very hard to squeeze my little grey cells just to write this book. I know I should not write and rant gibberish just to fill up the white space, but what can I do? All I could do is to sit in my room, watch marathon sitcoms just to pass my time.  Otherwise I will be in my bed pleasuring myself just to take some shut eyes. Poor John, always a loser. But my life wasn’t always in the losing end. 2 years ago I was made Assistant Manager in Penang Water Works Dept. Sadly this is only on contract basis and my mean boss decided not to renew my contract.

Any wise person would advise me to move on and to look to other job, but how could I break this story to my parents?? They must be heartbroken to hear this sad news. What about my pride??  I can go on to work secretly as ridesharer driver for a while. It may not be dignified but it least it pays well. Last night I just activated Uber online and guess what I just earned about 25 dollars, (I mean ringgit) for less than 2 hours job. Not bad after all.

My health is deteriorating. I could not sleep soundly. A long time ago, my sleep used to be very sweet and I could go for 8 hours of undisturbed sleep. That’s was 8 months ago about when I received the appointment letter. Now, after the sad news of my dismissal, I felt very much emasculated; I felt like I am living eunuch with no more power to make decisions. No fancy