Finally Sober

By Milton Millan

A book of of my personal journey through sobriety written in poetry.  

• Language: English
• Publisher: Millan
• Release date: Dec 2, 2015
• ISBN: 9781726257770

Book preview

Royalty.

My Life's Journey

I remember being angry all the time.

The world around me didn’t make any sense.

So I put myself out there on the streets,

An addict, a rebel, no direction and homeless.

I learned to hustle, lie and deceive,

Did things that you would not believe.

Unprotected sex with infected partners,

Totally suicidal in my ways I must confess.

God somehow looked out for me,

Cause I lived through it all, I must be blessed.

Victimized by gang members, ridiculed and beaten up,

Chasing the dragon, day after day getting the same results.

Adventures of a user on a one way trip to destruction.

I must have quit a hundred times, maybe ten thousand.

I was only sober while I was sleeping, which I didn’t do too much.

When I finally decided to get serious with my life,

I found a road that was hard to maneuver.

I’ve tried and failed many times at sobriety,

But I won’t give up anymore.

My secret?

Have a desire to be sober and always be honest.

P.S. Every Human makes mistakes, stop beating yourself up.

The Meaning Of Life

It seems to me the meaning of life is simple. You accept the things that happen and deal with it. How you interpret good and bad and act on it makes you who you are and it rules your life. Learning from your experiences makes you wise and gives you strength, and now life has true meaning.

Now I’m starting to see,

What is meant to be.

I have to reach out to others struggling,

While I’m successful in my sobriety.

The confusion in the mind caused by the shock

Of suddenly stopping years of abuse.

Can be an emotional avalanche that is hard to handle,

And using was the familiar remedy of the past.

I experienced this, and through fear, anger and tears,

I felt distressed and wondered how did I make it all those years.

I surrendered myself and stopped being stubborn,

Became honest again and found hope and desire.

I found comrades who were also struggling that gave me incite to many solutions. I learned to not take myself so serious and have compassion for myself and others. I learned to forgive myself and others. I made amends. But most important of all I learned to love myself and believe I can do anything I want whether it be right or wrong. I chose right.

Excuses

Since I’m depressed, I’ll just stay in bed.

I’ll take two extra pills for the pain in my head.

I’ll quit using when I solve my problem.

I’ll quit having arguments when you’ve stopped them.

I’ll eventually pay my bills when I stop wasting money.

I know I won’t be lonely anymore as long as I find a honey.

I know I can succeed if I put my mind to it,

But with all these issues overwhelming me I just can’t get to it.

I need to see the doctor but I’m just too busy.

I need to fix the car but it’s still running for now.

I’ve got to stop making up all these excuses somehow,

But it means I need to change, maybe tomorrow.

No Sympathy For The Sober

There you are with feelings again.

Not used to it, augh that’s too bad.

No way to numb yourself from reality.

Now you have a clear mind and control, so why so sad?

Do you miss not being able to make ends meet?

Do you miss living on the street?

Do you miss being late on the bills?

Do you miss not having free will?

Maybe you forgot all the sleep you lost,

Or probably the relationships you lost at such a cost,

Or maybe how you started lying and cheating,

Stealing, conniving and self defeating.

I have no sympathy for the sober.

Your life of using is now over.

Now the challenge of life faces you.

You’re sober now, I applaud you.

Starting to Remember

Went too far again, now I think I’m near death.

My heart is not beating right, I’m out of breath.

I should have got sleep and stopped using so long.

What made me think all this abuse