Overcoming Life's Setbacks
By Adam Phiri
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About this ebook
At one point in this life, all of us will experience some setbacks. It happens to the best of us and like death, it does not discriminate, no man is exempt. They happen more often than we would like. When you feel you are making progress and HAVE IT All FIGURED OUT, suddenly from nowhere, crisis hits, catching you by surprise. I have over the years seen people who sleep rich and wake up poor, who sleep healthy and wake up sick or even dead. Your setback could be a sudden loss of income, dwindling resources, loss of a job , a mountain of debt , Separation or divorce, death of a beloved one, your setback could be a diagnosis of a terminal disease which will affect the rest of your life. Your setback could be failure at something you have invested so much in. It could be emotional and psychological abuse. Whatever it is, It is also true that some setbacks are self inflicted meaning we bring upon ourselves; they happen on account of our own mistakes or bad choice while some setbacks are caused through the actions of others. The reality is that whether you caused the setback or it was caused through the actions of others, they must be dealt with. And to be honest, when these things happen, sometimes you are left completely at a loss of what to say or do. Fear grips you because you are in unfamiliar terrain, a sense of uncertainty sets in because of the unknown realities of a sudden stand still. the truth is; you can despair even life itself. .The question is how to move through the detour to become active in life again so that you don't just become a mere victim of it. That is always the challenge. What do you do when your world caves in? This book will inspire you to rise up and move on, empowering you on how react to setbacks and failure. Are you one to spin out of control, in despair? Or do you grab a hold of that wheel and steer your life back to your destiny? Whether it's a marriage, a work, or ministry, This book gives you hope that a setback is only temporary and greater things lay ahead.
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Overcoming Life's Setbacks - Adam Phiri
Chapter 1.The Making Of A Setback
"I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
Jimmy Dean
In the pursuit of any dream, setbacks are inevitable. Over the years life has taught me that no matter your goals, whether in business, education, marriage, ministry, there will always be roadblocks and detours.
Loss and detours are an integral part of our journey of life. No one has a perfect life. The journey of life has twists and turns, a long and arduous one with many setbacks along the way.
The important thing is how you deal with them, you can choose to either be a victim or victor. Let me not assume that we all know what a setback is; here is a brief definition to help bring context to the whole discourse.
WHAT IS A SETBACK
A SETBACK IS A ROADBLOCK, defeat and obstacle standing between where you are now and where you want to be,
The dictionary defines SETBACK as "a check to progress; a reverse or defeat.
Having said that it's important to know that encountering a setback can often make you feel stuck or moving in reverse, it can also feel like there is an obstacle standing in your way and restraining your progress.
For me, It always feels like my back is against the wall and like the bottom has fallen from under me..
How we feel really varies, others panic and fret due to the buildup of frustration, but whatever the feeling, none of us want our progress curtailed.
The making of a setback is that it is often sudden, unplanned, from out of the blue; catching us off guard and often has the potential to discourage or even kill our faith and dreams. Just how do you explain away an occurrence that summarily alters your course of action in life?
By setbacks, I don't mean the day-to-day petty interruptions but major, fundamental disruptions; losses that can lead you to despair even of life itself.
It could be the onset of major health problems, a struggle with an addiction in which you feel helpless, sudden loss of income, dwindling resources and a loss of a job leaving you with a mountain of debt and you have to downsize your lifestyle. It could be Separation or divorce, loss of a beloved one through unexplained circumstances, or even a diagnosis of a terminal disease which will affect the rest of your life.
It could even be life-sized failure at something you have invested so much in. It could be emotional and psychological abuse from a loved one.
Life has a way of putting us in unpredictable situations, between a rock and a hard place.
The details of our setbacks may vary but the fact is that we all know and can relate to the intrusive nature of trials. I guess you can relate to some of these setbacks.
And to be honest, when these things happen, sometimes you just curl up on the floor completely at a loss of what to say or do. Fear grips you because you are in unfamiliar terrain, a sense of uncertainty sets in because of the unknown realities of a sudden stand still. Despair of even life itself can happen when a major setback is encountered.
Chuck Swindol says life consists of; 5% of what happens to us and 95% how we respond to it.
The question is how to move through the detour to become active in life again so that you don't just become a mere victim or statistic. That is always the challenge. What do you do when your world caves in?
James Allen mentions that;
"Circumstances do not make the man, they reveal him."
~James Allen~
The circumstances will reveal if you are a quitter, coward or a fighter. It's a time when you are under pressure to find a way to ensure that the setback does not amount to your destruction. How do you keep the setback from shattering your dreams and vision? How do you prevent a setback from becoming a sit back?
The greatest uncertainty about setbacks is wondering if you can survive it and come out strengthened, with a renewed sense of vision.
There is need to ask relevant questions which will help you process and make sense of what's happening.;
What are the virtues that have to be strengthened?
Is it Perseverance, patience or faith?
What are the relationships that have to be deepened?
What are the relationships that have to be relegated to the past because they have become irrelevant for this season?
What are the changes that have to take place in your personal life in order to foster personal development and not personal destruction?
I am reminded of the children of Israel, who had just left Egypt. Free at last all sights set on freedom...going full throttle to the promised land, But no sooner had they departed, than the enemy pursued them on horseback with chariots, the red sea lay ahead giving them no chance of escape. What a setback.
This is true of many of us who sometimes find ourselves in a crisis ridden season seemingly squeezed on all fronts. Overwhelmed by crisis beyond our ability.
The children of Israel's hour of spiritual high was soon followed by a deep spiritual low and suddenly facing a detour of the mighty red sea dominant and seemingly invincible.
Did the red sea mean the END of their soon found freedom? They had barely enjoyed the liberty, when they got besieged from all sides.
There can be periods for all of us when we just see no way out, when we feel huge burdens, waves of despair. Well, that’s the story of life; in a nutshell in Exodus 14. The children of Israel came to an impasse, a predicament at the Red Sea. Just hours before they were celebrating their release from 400 years of slavery in Egypt but now emotions reverse and they are in turmoil.
Boxed in by mountains to the south, an Egyptian fortress to the north, Pharaoh’s army behind them and the Red sea in front. They were trapped.
God set them free from oppression, Free from captivity. Free from bondage. And the adventure was just getting started.
When Pharaoh let the people go, God didn’t lead them on the road that made most sense. The Bible tells us in Exodus 13, that though the path was shorter right