Fizziwiz and the Flying Dumplings

By John Shoebridge

The World Wide Web would crash entirely in 1965. It would happen in the first few days of May.

In a bygone age, the Cobs had built and continuously maintained their very own internetwork system but unfortunately the would not become aware of its irretrievable failure until it was too late.

Being one of a worldwide group of kingdoms, it would be the Daleshire Cob kingdom in middle England that would fail to maintain their own web sites. The link to the rest of the world would be broken leaving all the other web sites useless. The Daleshire kingdom would remain in disgrace forever.

The gods, who knew this would happen, were merely trespassers of the Cob's global communication system, using it for their own entertainment in a clandestine manner. But they could not warn the Cobs, the sheer embarassment of using the Web without their permission would bring upon them everlasting shame. Eventually a possible solution was proposed. Over a long period of time, they arranged through fate that an extraordinary character called Fizziwiz would cross paths with a group of cosmopolitan misfits and a few special mortals.

Whether the World Wide Web was saved or not would be out of their hands but even the Gods could not in their wildest dreams anticipate just what would go on after the date of the impending disaster.

• Language: English
• Publisher: John Shoebridge
• Release date: May 29, 2019
• ISBN: 9780463432839

Book preview

PREFACE

One fine summer morning long long ago, Poticca, the beautiful daughter of Hestia the Greek Goddess of home life, set off from her home in the Mirror Mountains to sail to the land of her uncle across the mighty sea of the Two Sunsets. During the voyage a terrible storm raged causing a huge wave to sweep across the deck of her boat. It carried Poticca with it, taking her many leagues across the waters before plunging her into the depths of the sea. Poticca had always been a fine swimmer but the force of the current left her completely helpless and as she was about to gasp a last breath of life, her hand suddenly grasped a strange object that was travelling upwards towards the surface. Poticca soon regained her senses and discovered that her rescuer was an old earthenware wine vessel which was floating half submerged beside her.

As the days went by, the thankful girl was kept afloat by clinging to the handle of the vessel, which fortunately had been washed overboard with her. A small quantity of red fruity wine had been left in the bottom of the vessel and by good fortune the stopper had not been lost in the deluge so Poticca was able to sip the rich wine each morning and evening to ease her thirst and hunger. No sign of life or land was seen for well over a week and Poticca felt so lonely that she clearly wished the old wine vessel could talk to her to keep her company, for after it’s many travels it would surely have some wonderful tales to tell. Never in the past did she have cause to consider the true values of a humble container, but now, with so much spare time on her hands, Poticca felt both appreciation and also guilt at how she had treated her empty containers after they had served her so well. Being the daughter of a Greek Goddess, she had been bestowed with certain magical powers and with the use of these Poticca rewarded the old wine vessel by giving it the gift of life and its very own name, which she decided, would be Vinny. For six more evenings the great Mirror Mountains, far off in the east, reflected the magnificent rose coloured sunset on the western horizon and Poticca was grateful for the warm waters and most of all the delightful company of Vinny. He was equally pleased that at long last he too was able to talk to someone. On the seventh evening they were spotted at last by the captain of a fishing boat who gave Poticca warm dry clothes, a good meal and sent her to rest in his cabin before setting sail for her homeland.

Before Poticca bid the captain goodbye she thanked him by giving him the old earthenware wine vessel, which she declared would serve his table well by remaining full forever, no matter how much was poured from it. Poticca then said a quiet farewell to Vinny and told him not to be sad for, although they were now parting company, she would always be by his side in spirit.

With the use of her powers, she promised that all containers throughout the world would become friendly characters who could secretly talk and play and work together so that her good companion would never be lonely again. Hestia looked down at the seashore through the clouds that cloaked the balcony of her palace high amongst the peaks of the Mirror Mountains. The Goddess of Homeliness smiled in contentment and satisfaction after keeping vigil throughout the ordeal that she had prepared for Poticca. Her beautiful daughter had known loneliness for the first time in her life and had found a good friend for herself. She then had the thought and consideration to provide company for others less fortunate than herself should they ever be lonely. The lesson in togetherness and respect had been learnt.

RACE AGAINST TIME, A LONG LONG TIME

It all began in the year of 956AD when the Gods foresaw an event that was to occur around the middle of the 20th century and would surely cause them all a great deal of inconvenience. Having the advantage of so much hindsight they would normally have dealt with stuff much later on, especially when a disaster such as this one was to happen so far ahead in time because things would often sort themselves out as time went by anyway. It didn’t really matter whether the Gods were Roman or Greek or what they were Gods of. It didn’t even matter if they were Gods or Goddesses. They all had one thing in common, nothing at all would hurry them into making decisions or taking action. This time was different. This time it was going to affect them all, big style!

Ever since a bored Goddess had accidentally logged on to an existing internet system, the Gods had learned how to use it with great enthusiasm and then cheekily adopted the system as their own alternative means of communication and pleasure. They had of course always possessed their own telepathic power to contact each other but found them to be quite boring compared with their new plaything. Now they had this exciting pastime of chatting on line, searching the network for information or even creating their own personal websites. They also believed that the originators of the web system would be totally unaware of their participation. Little did they know that, at the precise moment the Goddess had connected with the system, the Keepers of the web had recorded the intrusion.

At first this was quite a concern to the Cob people as in the past only but a few outsiders had been allowed the privilege of learning and operating their world wide web. Very soon however, the situation was turned to their own advantage with all the outside online traffic, carefully interrogated and systematically stored in the system’s database for reference purposes and indeed their own entertainment. The only subject that the Gods hadn’t discussed on line was of their own knowledge that the world wide web would crash. As the only beings that could forsee a future event and even possibly change its course, an unwritten law remained sacred within them, that demanded absolute secrecy on such events. It would be the year 1965 in early summer when the crash would occur and although it would be over a thousand years until then, the very notion of eventually losing their own plaything demanded an emergency meeting of the Gods.

Their early discussion centered around their knowledge that the World Wide Web was built and maintained by a secretive race of people known as the Cobs. These tiny folk each had their own kingdoms throughout the world and each was responsible for the local websites, which had to be overhauled annually. The whole system would be shut down on the last day of April and re-opened on the 10th day of May when every single Kingdom must have their maintenance completed, ready for the traditional switch on.

It was to be the Kingdom of Daleshire in Middle England that would fail to have its section of the system ready in time. Normally, the traditional global electrification carried out ceremoniously by the Master Cob of each kingdom was a time of much celebration and rejoicing. This was their time, another full year of Web use, another full year to justify their very existence. The failure of just one section of the World Wide Web condemned the whole network to irretrievable failure and the Master or Mistress Cob of that Kingdom and the whole of its people would remain in total disgrace forever after. Somehow the Daleshire Kingdom would have to be warned or assisted in some way, but there lay the dilemma that the Gods found themselves in. They were to their knowledge merely clandestine trespassers of the Web and had to consider the shame and embarrassment it would cause them if the Cobs should discover their participation.

After more deliberation the Gods agreed that their only course of action would be to seek outside assistance from anyone who had the physical resources to avert the disaster and then to act as protector of the system thereafter. Whoever was given the task must discover the secret of the World Wide Web and gain the confidence of the Daleshire Cob people in order to be prepared for any action necessary. To do this effectively would require a carefully prepared plan of action which could surely only be achieved over a very long period of time.

As far as the Gods were concerned only themselves possessed immortality and this simple fact was to be the stumbling block for any of the suggestions that arose. Therefore the problem that lay before them was finding a being capable of existing for so long as to begin preparation now and be present to prevent something from happening a thousand years or so hence.

Hestia, the Goddess of Home Life, had remained quiet whilst listening to the discussion which had slowly been reduced to a thoughtful silence without any solution being achieved. She had been pondering over something that lay deep in her memories, when suddenly it came to mind and with a cry that gave the whole gathering an almighty start, announced that a likely answer was at hand.

It was a test she had prepared for her beautiful daughter Pottica many years before and without going into too many details explained that a particular character had assisted her on that occasion. She also knew that he and a carefully selected group of his kind would be in existence when the disaster was due and beyond, for as long as required if the Web was actually saved. With the help and guidance she would arrange from certain mortals along the lengthy process of time, Hestia was convinced that her chosen individual would be prepared for anything when the time eventually arrived. The Gods and Goddesses had listened intently to the possible solution put before them and with no further suggestion offered, they hastily convened to unanimously vote in favour of Hestia for the long task ahead.

After being awarded probably the most critical assignment ever handed out, Hestia announced her own conditions which would include her enjoying complete secrecy and total control of the whole operation. Under no circumstances could there be any interference or more importantly any telepathic prying into her plans. In return she made a pact with the others that when the time came to hand the responsibility over to her chosen one, she agreed to leave him to it and not to follow his course of action. Therefore only after the due date of the impending disaster would she know if her task had been successful of not.

Over the passing centuries after they had made their resolutions, Hestia had, of course, been pestered constantly by Gods and Goddesses alike over her progress but despite being sorely tempted to reveal how satisfied she was with regards to how things were shaping up, the details remained hers to know only. Sometimes though the mischievous side of her nature managed to get the better of her and on such occasions she just could not resist the temptation to tease others by name dropping a few of her helpers. Over the long years new recruits had been enlisted to increase her team, none possibly so strange as the one Hestia had chosen as leader of her band of cosmopolitan misfits. The name Fizziwiz would often slip out as if by accident but any attempt by the others to gain more information was always met with a smug smile and silence.

On many occasions a passing God or Goddess would hear her utter names of other unfamiliar characters and objects whilst assuming her to be fast asleep. Hoblin, Malady Milk, The White One from the North, Merlin’s Ring and other unrecognised words slipped teasingly from her lips between pretend snores and an almost uncontrollable urge to burst out into laughter.

The other thing kept secret from the others was that from the very start of her assignment she had neither met or even communicated with any of her helpers or mortal companions. Moreover, the chosen one wasn’t aware if the job in hand or even the disaster they had been prepared to prevent. Through fate, Hestia had simply ensured that their paths in life would cross and with good fortune taking its course, they would eventually bring about the result desired.

Despite her general optimism that everything was going well, Hestia secretly feared that another problem might crop up which could possibly affect her plans. Being the Goddess of Home Life, she saw the people of the world as one big family but far from a happy one. Many of the characters recruited by Fizziwiz would come from many different countries and for the web’s sake must be able to work together. This was going to be a trying time for them all especially as they always remained fiercely loyal to their former masters who quite often were in conflict with each other. Hopefully, the greater good of the task they were being prepared for would win the day.

The year of 1965 arrived at last and February was soon upon them. Now was the time to hand over the responsibility to Fizziwiz, the one who had been prepared for this day over many centuries. Suddenly the optimism wasn’t so strong and indeed the odd panic attack would trouble her especially with so much expectation placed upon her. The World Wide Web meant so much to the Gods and it had to be saved. Perhaps she should have offered a little more information of her plans to the others as some support at this critical time would be most welcome.

Doubts now flooded her mind. Had she placed all her hopes on Fizziwiz who at that very moment was up to his neck in trouble in an old disused dump in Middle England?

Lets see……..

HOW IT ALL BEGAN

Try as he may, Fizziwiz never could understand why even the fondest of his memories often left him feeling so lonely and unwanted. It seemed to him that it was especially the sweet and magical ones that were tinged with sadness although in the loneliness of the cold, black, clinging mud that had held him prisoner for the last hundred years or more, memories were all that he had left for comfort.

Vivid flashes of recollection would often cross his mind, completely out of timing and context with his thoughts but alas the timing was of little consequence for after the first long minutes had turned into long hours and then years, time had lost all of its meaning and he was going nowhere and doing nothing else anyway. Nothing that was except reminisce over the good old days spent among his mysterious masters and friends.

Fizziwiz, the magic potion bottle, was given his unusual name by Merlin the master magician during the unforgettable period he served as a bound apprentice with the wonderful man. Merlin often remarked that the elixir potion was the most effervescent and fizzy that he had ever known and because he was training to be a real wizard the name of Fizziwiz seemed to fit perfectly and it had stuck with him ever since.

So many had been his experiences been in those days gone by that Fizziwiz found no difficulty in comforting himself with their memories. He was able to pluck them from the past like picking fruit in an orchard, enjoying the sweet juicy ones and leaving the sour ones to mellow with time. His endless thoughts of the adventures and achievements had always brought a sad smile of nostalgia to his face although just lately and more often than not he discovered he was becoming quite excited by his thoughts. Even the bubbles that had lain quietly at the bottom of his bottle for so long were beginning to stir and fizz up inside him a little. It felt like the tangy bite of an orange sending a shivery tingle throughout his body and foolish as he knew he was being the magic potion bottle would not give up the hopes that he may yet relive his experiences once more.

The mud, sometimes frozen, sometimes baked but always clinging, had held Fizziwiz prisoner since that dreadful day long ago when the magician who he had last worked with had decided that he was too old and tired to perform any more magic. With a deep sigh the old magician had stood on a bank side overlooking a small pond and with a great effort had awkwardly tossed in his heavy leather bag. Out of this had spilled all the bottles and jars containing magic potions, powders and spells that had been collected or concocted during his lifelong practice.

Fizziwiz’s special Elixir potion had been made up to assist a wizard long ago and since then he had listened to carefully and followed closely all the instructions of the different masters who he had worked for over the centuries. Their wise decisions were never to be questioned, so naturally when the old magician had decided he had no further use for his potions and brews, Fizziwiz, heartbroken as he was, accepted his master’s decision without any resentment. He simple resigned himself to the fact that his magic duties also were numbered although retirement to a nice dry dusty shelf in the magician’s den would have been appreciated much more that the sticky mud that he now lay in.

Over the long years the small pond had slowly drained away but the deep mud lying beneath it remained and as he spent season after season in the eternal darkness only the stickiness of the wet spring months and the stifled feeling of being baked in the summertime gave Fizziwiz a clue as to the time of year it was. Throughout the harsh winter months when the mud clung icily around the potion bottle causing his bubbles to lie asleep on the bottom, only the thoughts of his old friends from the magic bag and their many adventures kept his spirits warm enough to face another long year.

He had spent many a lonely night dreaming that he was back in the magic bag where all of his friends were important and friendly characters who told each other wonderful tales of spells and enchantment by the magical masters to whom they belonged over the years. It was not knowing what had happened to them or how he could help them that had worried Fizziwiz for so long and he dearly hoped that Wanda the witches brew, Barmy the barm pot and Rosemary the herb jar, to name a few of his old friends had not been broken during that dreadful fall into the pond. Maybe he would never know for being tucked away in the magic bag, he and all of his friends had no idea where their old master had travelled on that faithful day. Only the vague recollection of suddenly being catapulted from the bag to