Postcard Tales: Short Stories from Truth to Spoof About Airplanes, Animals, And Kids

By Rory A. Hansen and Amanda Young

This book is a group short stories compiled from a life of traveling around the world. The stories vary in subject matter from flying to animals, from kid-fun to imaginative creations that make you chuckle, maybe even laugh. If you have a few minutes, a story or two out of this book should get you off on the right foot . . . unless you're left footed.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: May 14, 2019
• ISBN: 9781543970579

Book preview

Copyright 2019 by Rory A. Hansen

All Rights Reserved

ISBN: 978-1-54397-056-2 (print)

ISBN: 978-1-54397-057-9 (ebook)

Published in the United States by Hansen Publishing

An Affiliate of R&D Enterprises Ltd.

No part of this book can be reproduced without written

permission from the author.

DEDICATION

To my Mom and Dad

who patiently eased me back on course when

my compass heading drifted.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Many hugs to my wife, Donna, for her torturous hours spent turning this project into a book. To Mandy, for your gifted artistic talents that bring pizzazz to my stories.

To my talented editors, Debbie and David for their

impressive professional skills.

Contents

STORIES FROM THE IMAGINATION

AN ELK STORY

NORTHERN LIGHTS

GOOFY MOOSE

EMERGENCY LANDING

ELFIN COVE

ANAHOEEMANUKOOGAWF

THE BIG WAVE

KONA MOCHA

SPEEDBIRD

PODMOTS

BEAR TRAIN

RIVER ADVENTURE

KARTCHNER CAVERNS

McKATTLE

CAUTION - KIDS!

ZEBRA STRIPES

STORIES FROM THE COCKPIT

BACKFIELD IN MOTION

FOGGY NIGHT

GUEST CAPTAIN

DOMO ARRIGATO NO COMUNICADO

HOSED!

THE KING AND I

WEATHER FORECAST...FAVORABLE!

UNFORGETTABLE

STORIES FROM NATURE’S WONDERS

BIRDS OF A FEATHER

PUDDLES

STORIES FROM LIFE

SEA HUNT, KID STYLE

PREDAWN RENDEZVOUS

INCIDENT IN STEAMBOAT

DIVE JAPANESE STYLE

KILIMANJARO

STORIES FROM THE IMAGINATION

AN ELK STORY

Full-O-Points, the magnificent bull elk, strutted across the meadow, showing off his mighty rack of antlers. As he strode through the meadow, he appeared to float across the high grass with his smooth stride. It was fall in Arizona, and the aspen trees were in their full glory; yellow, gold, and orange leaves contrasted brightly against the cobalt blue sky. The trees surrounded the meadow, and Full-O-Points’ grand stature set the scene off like an oil painting.

All that was missing on this perfect fall day was a cute girl elk for Full-O-Points to court.

Unknown to Full-O-Points was the presence of an unseen danger lurking at the edge of the meadow, camouflaged in the brush. Fred Tightstring was poised with a razor-sharp steel-tipped arrow straining against a taut bowstring, pointing directly at Full-O-Points’ chest.

Full-O-Points was still a bachelor elk despite his studliness. The right elkette had not crossed his path and Full-O-Points was a little on the shy side with the girls. He had had a few brushes with the fairer elk but nothing serious as yet. But it was looking like Full-O-Points wasn’t going to get a chance at elk romance with Fred zeroed in. Tightstring was an expert arrow slinger, having won the William Tell Overture Tournament twice running.

As it would happen on this fine fall afternoon, an adorable elkette wandered out of the fir and aspen forest into the meadow occupied by Full-O-Points. Elkie was a shapely girl elk with full lips and eyelashes curving over auburn eyes so deep they gave you elk bumps. She was the star member of the Elk Meadows Bugle-ettes with a bugle that would knock your antlers off. She played as though she didn’t notice Full-O-Points standing there munching the seeds on the tops of the buffalo grass. Elkie moved closer to try and attract Full-O-Points’ attention.

Fred Tightstring was a great archer and Full-O-Points was as good as jerky, but Tightstring couldn’t have predicted what was about to transpire. In the Arizona high country, there is a little-known weed called Achoo. The Indians used this weed as a natural remedy for deboogering or more technically, nasal de-snotification. The weed was about to have an effect on the situation.

Elkie had stealthily moved very near Full-O-Points now, but the big bull was oblivious to her. He was too involved with enjoying the tasty buffalo grass. His head was down munching the grass right to the ground and right into a nice little batch of Achoo plant. Full-O-Points’ big flaring nostrils took in a deep breath just as his nose touched into the weed. The particulate spores of the potent Achoo weed were vacuumed into Full-O-Points’ nasal cavity and stuck like Velcro to his olocartic¹ membrane. The reaction was nearly instantaneous as 24 gallons of elk breath tried to escape through Full-O-Points nose in the form of a big elk sneeze. The gaseous blast lifted him eight feet vertically in the air! Precisely eight tenths of a second prior to this, Tightstring’s arrow had left its bow, accelerating toward Full-O-Points. It was the perfect shot and would have hit Full-O-Points directly in the heart, but his heart was now eight feet higher than it had been. The arrow harmlessly whizzed by, embedding itself 80 yards away into the trunk of a Douglas-fir. Full-O-Points heard the zip of the arrow and did a turn in mid-air trying to head for safety, but as his hooves touched ground, he leaped headlong into Elkie’s shapely buttocks. Elkie got the point and the pair’s embarrassment lasted only a second as their eyes melted into each other’s. It was instant elk infatuation. Quickly they realized this was not the time or place to make elk eyes. They turned their butts to Tightstring and bounded together into the safety of the deep high country forest.

Fred stood there not believing his luck. Worse yet, who would believe his story back at the archery club, of missing his big shot because of a rocket elk!

---

1 A protective membrane found in ungulates living in areas infested with Achoo weed

NORTHERN LIGHTS

Alaska: It was a crisp, cold night; the kind of night you could hear a stick break a mile away while sounding like it’s at your feet. The stars were out in splendid array, sharp as tacks. It looked like we were in for some splendid Northern Lights viewing.

The first glow started about 11:30 PM, but it looked different from the normal display somehow. The green was there, a little pink and red, but what was that shimmery gold? The shimmers seemed to be descending toward us like the tendrils of a jelly fish. Was it our imagination or the cold atmospherics playing tricks on our eyes? One of the tendrils became longer than the others and as we watched in amazement it touched the surface of the snow-covered lake! Where the tendril touched the surface, it created a shimmering golden circle that looked like a pool of liquid gold. Suddenly the gold tendril started moving in our direction, slowly at first then faster and faster until we realized we were its target!

Fortunately, Howard was the closest victim and he was quickly cloaked in sparkling gold. Howard began to give off a soft glow of green light that was