The Narcissistic Mother A - Z: Growing Up With a Narcissistic Mother

By D.T Bloom

I grew up with a narcissistic mother.

For decades of my life, I had to deal with her emotional, narcissistic abuse. I had to live with the fact that I was a disappointment to her, and wonder what I'd done so wrong to make her dislike me so much. I would yearn for her love and would do anything in order for her to show me some kind of affection - just some recognition that she was proud of me would have been welcomed with open arms. 

The Narcissistic Mother A - Z delves into the traits, characteristics, and behaviors of narcissistic mothers, using stories and examples from my own narcissistic childhood. The resulting book is a thorough A - Z for fellow survivors of maternal narcissism, designed to be a cathartic, enlightening and comforting read for those who are still coming to terms with having a narcissistic parent.

I don't have a PhD in psychology, but I do have something most PhD's don't: real life, genuine experiences with abuse and narcissism and decades worth of recovery and healing to help guide others through the same experiences. I don't just recite what I've read in a textbook - I've lived through abuse and come out of the other side with a wealth of knowledge, and I hope it can help inspire and show others that there is a better life for them. I want my content to be accessible to those who need help and guidance through the aftermath of abuse, and I want it to be as jargon-free and understandable as possible.
 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Robyn Harper
• Release date: Dec 2, 2018
• ISBN: 9781393525394

D.T Bloom

My name is D.T Bloom and I'm the author of various books on narcissism and emotional abuse. I write about this subject to help others learn more about the damaging effects of narcissism, help them break free and heal from the trauma.  I grew up in a toxic, abusive environment and have a lot of knowledge and first hand experience of narcissism and childhood neglect. I also found myself in abusive relationships as I became an adult and almost got trapped in the vicious cycle of abuse. Thankfully, I rebuilt myself from the ground up and I have a lot of advice, and wise words for those who are still suffering from or are entangled in a web of abuse; be that from their mother, their spouse or anyone else who tries to diminish their worth. Aside from my writing, I enjoy countryside walks with plenty of scenery, travelling to new places and indulging in a little wine drinking every now and then. I'm originally from the North West of England, and I adore the picturesque views and breathtaking hikes that I was surrounded by as I was growing up. I love taking my two terrier dogs up the fells and stopping off at a local pub for an afternoon tipple whilst I think of new stories for my fiction novellas. D.T Bloom is my pen name. I write fiction books under my real name, so to make things neat and tidy I keep my self-help books under this name. I chose the name 'Bloom' as it suggests blossoming like a flower, which is something I want to help all victims of abuse to do, and it's something I've proudly managed to do myself also. When people blossom, they become more aligned with their ideal self, whatever that may be: more successful, confident or stronger. I'd be honored to give you the inspiration and tools you need to bloom :) I don't have a PhD in psychology, but I do have something most PhD's don't: real life, genuine experiences with abuse and narcissism and decades worth of recovery and healing to help guide others through the same experiences. I don't just recite what I've read in a textbook - I've lived through abuse and come out of the other side with a wealth of knowledge, and I hope it can help inspire and show others that there is a better life for them. I want my content to be accessible to those who need help and guidance through the aftermath of abuse, and I want it to be as jargon-free and understandable as possible.

Book preview

escapethenarcissist.com

I grew up with a narcissistic mother.

For decades of my life, I had to deal with her emotional, narcissistic abuse. I had to live with the fact that I was a disappointment to her, and wonder what I’d done so wrong to make her dislike me so much. I would yearn for her love and would do anything in order for her to show me some kind of affection - just some recognition that she was proud of me would have been welcomed with open arms.

As a child and growing up, her narcissistic way of treating me affected me badly. I steadily became a shy, unconfident young child with no self-esteem. I was timid, uncertain and unable to develop into an emotionally healthy youngster because of the narcissism I endured growing up. As I developed into my teens, I was full of self-doubt and couldn’t see a way to fix the codependent relationship I had with my mother.

From belittling me, mocking me and using guilt and manipulation tactics to ensure I behaved how she wanted me to, I was under my mother's narcissistic powers for years.

Growing up, it was difficult to understand and comprehend why my mother treated me the way she did. I felt isolated, confused, and most of the time I was just plain heartbroken. It was only when I reached my late twenties that I took a step back, I delved a little deeper into her behavior and began to realize that my mother was narcissistic. It upset me and filled me with relief at the same time, as I now had a label for my mother's behavior, but it also pained me that I’d had to bear the brunt of her own fragile emotions whilst I grew up and beyond.

Now, as an adult, I can see my mother's behavior for what it was.

I haven’t, and I won’t ever, excuse it, but I can see her abusive treatment towards from a new perspective. However, the pain and emotional scars of a narcissistic childhood are hard to recover from, but a great leap towards the direction of recovery means revisiting those tough memories of growing up and enduring the wrath of your narcissistic mother.

I wrote this book as not only a cathartic project for myself but also from the viewpoint of me talking to someone who has also been brought up by a narcissistic mother. I want to offer you guidance, understanding, knowledge and hopefully a little comfort - I know the feeling of deflation a narcissistic mother can cause, and I’d like to help you think back to your childhood to help you heal the most suppressed and painful memories you have. Hopefully, you can see some parallel in my own experiences and emotions and know there are people out there you have experienced the same pain as you.

This book is for those who have suffered a narcissistic childhood and are looking to gain a deeper understanding of what they went through, as well as find some common ground from someone who's also been there, and knows how the child inside still hurts from the treatment they received from their mother.

The A - Z isn’t an exhaustive list, and not all narcissistic mothers have each and every trait, but I’m confident if you had a narcissistic mother, you’ll see a lot of relatable scenarios and understand how these traits affect a young child who has to encounter them. I’ve mixed my own personal recollection of my childhood experiences with the things I’ve learned about maternal narcissism over the years.

A is for... Anger.

Few things in life are as scary as an angry mother

When things don’t go the narcissistic mothers way, she gets angry.

It could be her child not performing as well as she wants them to at school or it could be because her child said the wrong thing in front of company. Often, even if the child isn’t at all to blame for their mother's anger, she’ll still unleash her rage on them and blame them for how she’s feeling.

For example, if she’s had a bad day at work or she’s upset about something her boss has said to her,