Rant: Derangement & Resistance in Maga Country

By Diann Russell

In this third volume of her collected columns, Diann Russell takes on the unintentionally hilarious lunacy of the Anti-Trump Resistance. From Hollywood to the News Media, from elected members of Congress to the Queen of the Resistance herself, Hillary Clinton, Dianny shines a bright, entertaining spotlight on the Trump Deranged and their descent into utter comical lunacy.

Spanning columns from election night 2016 until mid-2019, RANT: Derangement & Resistance in MAGA Country features a treasure-trove of Dianny’s signature agitprop images and lots of laughs. So many laughs, in fact, the laughter will be seared into your memory – indelible in the hippocampus (thanks for that, Christine Blasey-Ford!)

Enjoy!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Diann Russell
• Release date: Aug 23, 2019
• ISBN: 9780463938560

Diann Russell

Diann Russell holds an MFA in Playwriting from Carnegie Mellon School of Drama. She is the owner of the conservative website PatriotRetort.com. Diann's agitprop Photoshop images have appeared not only at PatriotRetort.com, but also American Thinker and National Review Online. She is a social media content contributor to Red Nation Rising. She lives in Central New York with her pitbull Mary of Bethany, her cats (don't mock) Buffy and Willow, and her Mossberg 12g.

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Table of Contents

Introduction

Part One: The Hollywood Resistance

Chapter 1 - The Star-Studded Parade of Crazies

Chapter 2 - The Best Actor & Actress of the Hollywood Resistance LOL

Part Two: Red Robes and Pussy Hats — the march of the angry broads

Chapter 3 - The Women’s March

Chapter 4 - It’s Just Like A Handmaid’s Tale!!!

Part Three: The Media Resistance

Chapter 5 - Here a Gate, there a Gate, everywhere a Gate-Gate

Chapter 6 - The Search and Destroy Campaign

Chapter 7 - The Diarist: The story of Brave Jim Acosta

Chapter 8 - The Conspiracy Queen

Chapter 9 - Suicide by Avenatti

Chapter 10 - Democracy Dies in Bloviating Self-Regard

Chapter 11 - Cheerleaders for Antifa

Part Four: The Hoaxers of the Resistance

Chapter 12 – Muslims Beware!

Chapter 13 – Hoax Crime Smorgasbord!

Part Five: The House of Resistance

Chapter 14 - Impeach Fohty-fah!

Chapter 15 - The Congressman from the State of TV News

Chapter 16 - Little Teddy Lieu

Chapter 17 - The Marxist Sisters

Part Six: Queen of the Resistance

Chapter 18 - The Chick that Won’t Let Go

Part Seven: This is MAGA Country

Chapter 19 - The Real Donald J. Trump

Epilogue

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Introduction

It’s been five years since I released a collection of my columns in one volume. In fact, when RANT 2.0 was released, Barack Obama was only halfway through his second term as President, and I was still writing for a blog called All the Right Snark.

In February 2015, I launched my own website PatriotRetort.com . And in the intervening years, so much has happened, I found no time to stop and consider releasing a third volume of columns.

And by the time I did, the sheer quantity of material was pretty damn daunting.

Do I reach all the way back to 2015 and start there or is that too much? Do I rehash the 2016 election or just skip it? After all, we’re already into the 2020 election cycle as I write this. So publishing columns from 2015 and 2016 might be a bit, well, stale.

The previous two volumes of RANT covered a myriad of topics. Did I want to go that route again? Or did I want to stick with one overarching theme?

Needless to say, there was a lot to consider.

Meanwhile, Patriot Retort readers would occasionally say, You know, you should release a collection of your stuff. I’d buy it!

So, I figured I might as well sit my ass down and noodle it all out and get it done.

Clearly I did since you’re reading this.

Instead of lumping in a number of different topics and themes as I did in my previous two volumes of RANT, I decided to focus on one overarching theme -- namely the flat-out derangement that afflicted the Left after Donald Trump became President.

That appeals to me because in my lifetime, I have never seen such a well-funded, well-coordinated Smear Campaign against a duly elected President. It involves Hollywood, the media, the DC establishment, unelected bureaucrats, and even a domestic terror group. It is, as they say, unprecedented.

Plus, the derangement of the so-called Resistance LOL can be downright hilarious.  They’re comedy gold!

And since the mission of PatriotRetort.com is to use humor and satire in political commentary, comedy gold is my bread and butter.

I’ll be honest. I’m not a think-tank gal by any stretch of the imagination. I prefer humor over dry think pieces.

And when confronting the Left, humor is the best weapon we have.

The Left reacts to humor like Dracula reacts to holy water.

And given how insane they became after Donald Trump won the White House, making fun of the Resistance LOL is all manner of entertaining.

Just one side note. The superscript LOL after the word Resistance isn’t a typo. When I began regularly using the Left’s name for their deranged hatred of all things Trump, I initially was going to write it this way: the Resistance ™ . But at the last moment, as an added dig, I changed it to the Resistance LOL . Partly because it tickled me. But also, I wanted to see how long before readers of Patriot Retort noticed what I was doing.

Any old how.

I hope you enjoy this collection of columns. In my rather self-centered opinion, it is chock full of laughs – not to mention quite of few humorous Dianny Images.

I think you’ll enjoy it.

Unless, of course, you’re a member of the deranged Resistance LOL .

Part One: The Hollywood Resistance

Australian columnist Rita Panahi likes to say that President Donald Trump is blessed with monumentally moronic opponents.

Yes, he certainly is.

And the most moronic among them has got to be the Hollywood contingent of the anti-Trump Resistance LOL .

So I thought we’d begin with those pampered, out-of-touch, sanctimonious prats from Tinseltown.

After spending over a year desperately trying to convince us to vote for the thoroughly unlikeable Hillary Clinton, Hollywood’s reaction to the election of Donald J. Trump has been a hilarious mixture of hysterics, breathless histrionics and unbridled attacks – not just aimed at our President.  No, these cretins love to turn their vitriol on those Americans Kurt Schlichter refers to as The Normals.

The Star-Studded Parade of Crazies

It was the 2016 election that made Hollywood realize that Americans just aren’t that into them.

They didn’t take it at all well.

I think the eight years of Obama gave these wealthy, sheltered dinks the misguided impression that American voters were as enamored and delighted by them as Barack and Michelle were.

Yeah, no. Not so much.

We never really were.

But they didn’t know that.

So when 2016 rolled around and Hollywood proudly declared I’m with Her! they assumed we Americans would respond with an enthusiastic So are we!!!

Didn’t happen.

And in the wee hours of Wednesday, November 9, 2016, Donald Trump became the 45th President of the United States.

I never tire to saying that.

It was the bitch-slap heard round Malibu as the self-satisfied celebrities – once so certain of their powers of persuasion -- reeled from the news.

And let’s just say they didn’t take it at all well.

They cried.

They screamed.

They vowed revenge.

In short, they kinda lost their marbles.

And chances are, they’re never going to find them again.

Over-the-Hill Has-Been Pop Star Ashamed to be American — December 4, 2016

Geriatric pop star Madonna turned a Miami fundraiser into an Anti-Trump bash-fest Friday.

It just really makes me feel ashamed – ashamed to be an American. The old bag croaked in her faux British accent. Ashamed to be a human being, really.

Grandma announced she planned to write an angry letter to the editor. But not until after she has a bowl of rice pudding and watches Dancing with the Stars.

Then she subjected the audience to another pop song warbled woefully off key.

Funny how a Donald Trump presidency makes the old gal ashamed, but dressing like a two-dollar hooker at her advancing age does not.



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There really should be an age limit on fishnet stockings.

No wonder her teenage son wants nothing to do with her.

Of course, this is the same genius who, after the Paris terrorist attack, proclaimed that ISIS can be defeated through love.

Does anybody really care what she thinks?

Madonna isn’t the Material Girl anymore.

Now, she’s the Immaterial Girl.

Her impact on our pop culture is about as noticeable as a tree falling in the woods when nobody’s around to hear.

I shouldn’t have voted for Trump because it made Madonna ashamed to be American, said nobody ever.

I’m ashamed I ever owned any Madonna albums, if you want to know the truth.

The Flying None – December 4, 2016



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This weekend, Sally Field was interviewed by someone I never heard of. And the former Flying Nun lamented that she just doesn’t understand why people voted for Donald Trump.

Of course you don’t, Sally.

Hollywood is as cloistered as a convent.

They have no idea that a world exists outside of their little bubble.

But Sally told this interviewer I never heard of that really, really wants to understand what would possess us backward rubes outside of California to vote overwhelmingly for Donald Trump.

And how is she going to accomplish that? Will she fly across the country talking to Trump voters?

Hardly.

Instead, Sally thinks the secret to understanding Trump voters is joining Twitter.

Yeah, that’ll solve the problem.

I’m sure Sally will only follow Trump supporters on Twitter, right?

Hahahaha!

No.

Sally hasn’t been the Flying Nun for fifty years. But, trust me. She’s still cloistered.  She’ll hop on Twitter and chase down every like-minded Leftists she can find and follow them.

I want to know what other people are thinking, the confused Sally moaned. I want to know why they voted for this man who does not stand for anything.

Right, Sally.

Trump doesn’t stand for anything.

Except putting America and its people first, securing our borders, bringing manufacturing jobs back to the US, having a strong national defense, revitalizing our economy, keeping us safe, and defending the Constitution.

But other than that…

Let me put this in a way you might understand, Sally.

We like him! We really, really like him!

You, on the other hand? Not so much.

UPDATE

Okay, for shits and giggles, I decided to see who Sally Field is following on Twitter. Let me give you a sample:

Elizabeth Warren

Bernie Sanders

Neil deGrasse Tyson

Tim Kaine

Ezra Klein

Vox

Rachel Maddow

Chris Hayes

Joy Reid

Bill Maher

Keith Olberman

Gloria Steinem

Keith Ellison

Sarah Silverman

David Axelrod

Oh, yeah. She’s really wants to understand us Trump voters, doesn’t she?

Butt-Hurt Celebrities Demand Electors Ignore the People – December 15, 2016

First they release a video back in September hectoring Americans to defeat Donald Trump.

Now, they butt-hurt losers are demanding that at least 37 electors ignore the popular vote outcome in their states and refuse to certify the election of Donald Trump on Monday.

Why?

To #UniteForAmerica.

Yup. Nothing will unite the country quite like our duly elected President being screwed over by butt-hurt celebrities who want our election determined by California.

Nothing will unite the country quite like ignoring the votes in 30 of the 50 states.

No. I’m not going to post the video.

If you really want to see it, click the link HERE .

If you’re like me and do not want to watch this piece of tripe, permit me to provide you a brief summary in pictures.



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Hollywood believes it is the center of the universe.

And these butt-hurt celebrities can’t stand the thought that the rest of America didn’t do their bidding and elect Hillary Clinton.

At this rate, I’m looking forward to that big old earthquake that cracks off coastal California and sets it adrift in the Pacific.

Here’s hoping these insufferable, self-centered pricks are all on board for the voyage.

Honestly. I hate these people.

~~~

But their best laid plans failed, and Donald Trump’s election were certified and on January 20, 2017, he was sworn.

And Hollywood officially became part of the Resistance LOL .

When they weren’t sputtering with incoherent rage, they were transformed into experts on Russia, the Mueller Investigation, the Emoluments Clause and Impeachment.

What was really terrifying is just how far off the deep end these lunatics traveled. Sure, they weren’t traveling to Canada like they promised. But by Trump’s inauguration, they really should’ve packed their bags and headed for the nearest rubber room.

No act of derangement was bridge to far for the Hollywood Resistance LOL .

In short, they went barking mad. And I don’t mean in the loveable homeless guy muttering on the subway kind of way.

No, I mean the gather up your children, lock all the doors and pull out the shotgun kinda way.

Celebrity Dingbats call for Jihad against America — February 2, 2017

Does California really have to wait until 2018 to vote on secession? I don’t know about you, but I’d love to speed up the process to say, next week?

Or tomorrow. Tomorrow works too.

I really want California and all of its moronic celebrity dingbats, frothing-at-the-mouth anarchists and illegal aliens to hit the bricks!

Get out and stay out.

Here’s your hat; what’s your hurry?

In response to the violent riots perpetrated by anarchist groups at UC Berkeley that forced gay conservative Milo Yiannopoulos to cancel his event, TV actress Debra Messing tweeted this out:

RESISTANCE WORKS! #Resist #NeverStop

— Debra Messing (@DebraMessing) February 1, 2017

Yay! Violent rioting worked!!!! Keep it up everybody!!!

Ah, yes. A pampered celebrity living in some gated community or posh Malibu estate is actually advocating for violent Jihad against America.

But she’s not the only one.

Nominal comedian Sarah Silverman wants a military coup.

WAKE UP & JOIN THE RESISTANCE. ONCE THE MILITARY IS W US FASCISTS GET OVERTHROWN. MAD KING & HIS HANDLERS GO BYE BYE ❤ ️ ❤ ️ ❤ ️ ❤ ️

— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) February 1, 2017

Yes, I’m sure any day now the United States Military is going to be rallying to your side, Sarah, you mindless dink.

Apropos of nothing, really.  BUT DO THESE CELEBRITY IDIOTS NOT KNOW HOW TO RELEASE THE CAPS LOCK?

All this insanity because their presidential candidate lost a free and fair election.

Here they accuse Donald Trump of being dangerous. But look what they’re doing.

They are fomenting and encouraging violent insurrection, for crap’s sake!

It is they, not Donald Trump, who praise violent uprisings and fascistic crackdowns against those with whom they disagree.

Donald Trump isn’t the oppressor. These bubble-headed celebrities are.

They’re calling for resistance. Resistance to what exactly? Free speech? Free elections?

Calling for revolution because that old Chardonnay-soaked bag of bones in a pantsuit lost the election is what passes for political discourse from these morons.

Spend five minutes scrolling through Debra Messing’s Twitter timeline. You’ll think some delusional psychopath hacked her account.

Not two weeks into the Trump presidency and all pretense is tossed out.

They don’t care about Liberty, Freedom, Individual Sovereignty, our country or our Constitution.

These fools are aligning themselves with anarchists who marched through the streets of Berkeley carrying banners that read Become ungovernable and THIS IS WAR."

Yet Debra Messing is praising them.

She, Sarah Silverman, Katy Perry, that breathless girl George Takei – all of these moronic nitwits are promoting and celebrating violent insurrection.

And then they have the nerve to call us the extremists.

So please, California. Do us all a favor. Don’t wait to vote on secession.

Get the hell out!  Now!

And take these brainless, ignorant, insufferable dingbats with you.

Because beheadings are comedy gold – May 30, 2017

Say, do you remember when Attorney General Eric Holder had the DOJ investigate a Fourth of July Parade Float?

It was July of 2014.  The Norfolk, Nebraska Independence Day parade featured an outhouse with a crudely made Obama statue. On the side of the outhouse were inscribed the words, Obama Presidential Library.

And the Department of Justice actually sent a member of its Community Relations Service team to investigate it for possible discrimination.

A parade float.

Clearly it was designed to get a laugh.

And why not?

It’s funny.

Obama’s Presidential Library is an outhouse.

Sure, it’s not hilarious comedy, but I’m sure plenty of people in the town of Norfolk, Nebraska got a chuckle out of it.

This of course was preceded by the full-blown hysteria at the Missouri State Fair in August of 2013.

I’m sure you remember this one.

A rodeo clown came out wearing an Obama mask.  The crowd laughed and cheered.

But the local NAACP was not amused.

They got the rodeo clown fired and wanted the Justice Department to investigate that as well.

Just so we’re clear.

Outhouses and Halloween masks aren’t funny.

But beheadings? Why they’re comedy gold!



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Isn’t that hilarious?!

I haven’t laughed this hard since James Foley got his head sawed off by ISIS!

Kudos, Kathy Griffin!

I’m sure Daniel Pearl’s family are laughing their butts off.

Yup. Beheadings are great comedy!

If only that rodeo clown had entered the arena holding the bloody, severed head of Barack Obama, maybe he would have…

Wait.

No.

Never mind.

So much for Love Trumps Hate.

So much for When they go low, we go high.

What kind of sick, perverted, disgusting mind would dream this up?

And outside of the demonic creatures of ISIS, who would find this remotely funny?

Well, Kathy Griffin, apparently.

Griffin works with CNN. She co-hosts their New Year’s Eve broadcast.

Which explains a lot.

It was, after all, CNN’s Wolf Blitzer who, two days before the Inauguration, played let’s pretend both Trump and Pence get assassinated before they’re sworn in.

When it comes to these vile and despicable Leftists, you should never ask Can they possibly go any lower?

Because the answer will always be Yes.

Kathy Griffin has apologized claiming she went too far.

Really, Kathy? You figured that out only after you got hit with a massive blowback of outrage and disgust?

What kind of deeply depraved cretin are you that you couldn’t noodle that out before you filmed this disgusting display?

On the plus side, once again the Left is revealing its true face.

These people aren’t the decent ones or the compassionate ones.

They never were.

And in their irrational, deranged hatred for Donald Trump the mask has been torn away and we are seeing these hateful, soulless creatures for what they truly are.

I knew it would be bad; I just didn’t think it would be this bad — June 2, 2017

Kathy Griffin and her shyster lawyer held their little press conference just a while ago.

And, honey, it was bad.

I mean, I knew it was going to be bad. But I had no idea it was going to be this bad.

Just, WOW.

One thing’s for certain. If holding up that decapitated head didn’t ruin Griffin’s career, this press conference did.

Let me put it this way:

Kathy Griffin stood before a phalanx of reporters holding the bloody, severed head of Personal Responsibility.

Not only did she play the victim.

She acted as if she had done absolutely nothing to deserve the blowback that landed on her.

And it wasn’t her fault!!!

It was Trump’s fault.

No! It was the fault of white men!!!

Oy gevalt.

Pretty soon Kathy is going to claim Russians fabricated that photo shoot and leaked it to WikiLeaks.

The funniest moment was when Kathy teared up like she was giving a eulogy and said, I don’t think I will have a career after this. I’m going to be honest, he broke me.



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Wow.

Did Cryin’ Chuck Schumer give her some pointers on how to tear up on cue?

I mean, I knew this was going to be bad.  But, wowie.

This was really bad.

Kathy is acting as if

A) She didn’t do anything and

B) Donald Trump was sitting in the Oval Office personally orchestrating the nationwide outrage over what she did.

Honey, come on.

He sent out one tweet about it. And that was it.

The rest of the blowback came from living, breathing human beings (like me) who were disgusted with what you did.

I don’t know what was worse for Kathy – doing this press conference or getting hammered afterward by people on Twitter.

I gotta admit. Some of these tweets are funnier than Kathy Griffin ever was.

This Kathy Griffin press conference has produced far more laughter than anything in her comedy career. Please keep talking, pretty please!

— Stefan Molyneux (@StefanMolyneux) June 2, 2017

It's a shame that ‪ #KathyGriffin ‬ 's career is over. She suddenly became very funny. 🤡

— Follow the Money (@geosplace) June 2, 2017

Speaking of ‪ #Kathy_Griffin ‬ , when was the last time a comedian had to hire a lawyer to explain why their joke was funny?

— Mike a.k.a. Proof (@ProofBlog) June 2, 2017

Sweet fancy Moses. You did this to you. No one made you do this. Start taking responsibility for your own actions.

— SalenaZito (@SalenaZito) June 2, 2017

Hey! I thought I was the only one who says sweet fancy Moses!

I'm embarrassed that Kathy Griffin shares my race.

No, not my skin color. The Human Race. ‪ #KathyGriffin ‬

— #ThePersistence (@ScottPresler) June 2, 2017 ‬

Julius Caesar: Where subtlety and nuance get stabbed in the back – June 12, 2017

I’m sure you’ve heard about the Shakespeare in the Park production of Julius Caesar currently running in New York. Instead of ancient Rome, the play is set in modern America. And old President Julius Caesar coincidentally looks like Donald Trump.

It’s about as subtle as a brick in the face.

But having spent half of my adult life working in the theater, this is about as understated as theater people can possibly be.

Nuance and understatement aren’t exactly their forte.

The last time they managed oblique commentary on modern life was when Arthur Miller wrote The Crucible back in 1953.

And it’s been downhill ever since.

Frankly I’m a bit surprised they didn’t just rename the play Julius Trump.

Leftists are hateful and churlish by nature.

And hateful, churlish people couldn’t be subtle if their lives depended on it.

Naturally the growing outrage has prompted some corporations to withdraw their sponsorship of this bit of revenge snuff porn.

Arts patronage is a boon to business only if it doesn’t make the business look bad by association.

The kicker is the news media seem more outraged and horrified by sponsors pulling out than they are a depiction of Donald Trump being assassinated on stage in front of a live, cheering audience night after night.

Sure, we could play the What if they portrayed Julius Caesar as a scrawny black guy in Mom jeans? game. Couldn’t we?

Had Julius Caesar mirrored Barack Obama, the news media would have been apoplectic.

The NAACP would be demanding a DOJ civil rights investigation.

And the Macbeth witches of the View would be rending their garments and gnashing their teeth while bent over their caldron brewing a poisonous potion to pour down the director’s throat.

But why bother going down But Obama road?

The truth is, simulated assassinations of Presidents are only in vogue when a Republican is in the White House. It’s always been that way.

Mostly because those of us on the right would never stoop that low.

And yet the same people who have been trying to suppress the free speech of everyone with whom they disagree are now working overtime to tell us that murdering a Trumpian Caesar is free speech.

Some of the defenses, however, are just, well, odd.

This morning, Twitter’s Troll-With-Training-Wheels herself Chelsea Clinton, after a quick visit to Wikipedia no doubt, tweeted this:

In 1790, George Washington hosted a production of Julius Caesar, likely the first Shakespeare play performed for an American President.

-- Chelsea Clinton (@ChelseaClinton) June 12, 2017

Nothing like a little snuff-porn-splaining, huh?

Tell me, Chels. Did they have the actor portraying Caesar dress up like President Washington? Because if not, then shut the hell up!

Now, I spent nearly a decade as a theater director before I left to get my MFA in Playwriting at Carnegie Mellon School of Drama.

So how about I direct a production of Julius Caesar with a woman playing the title role.  We’ll call it Julia Caesar.

I’ll cast a chunky, near-septuagenarian bottle-blonde in a pantsuit.

Brutus can be played by a loud, curmudgeonly old fart with flyaway hair and a penchant for socialism and multiple homes.

You think Chelsea would bravely defend me?

After all, George Washington hosted a production of Julius Caesar in 1790.

No. She wouldn’t defend me.  She’d tweet out her profound disappointment at the violence and vitriol of the Right.

But then again I wouldn’t do it.

William Shakespeare didn’t write his plays just to satisfy my own personal dislike of Hillary Clinton.

Besides, I’m not a naval-gazing Leftist. Not to mention, I possess a common-sense filter.

And that’s something these resistance idiots lack.

Like squalling infants, they can’t see beyond their own immediate wants and needs. And when they don’t get what they want, they pitch a thermonuclear-sized tantrum.

Nothing is safe from their blind hatred and insufferable sanctimony.

Not football, awards shows, farmers’ markets, family-owned bakeries.

Not even freaking Shakespeare!

Their obsession with Donald Trump has turned them into Lili Taylor’s character Corey Flood from the movie Say Anything.

Everything they do, everything they say, everything they write is about Trump.

To borrow from Corey, he’s invaded their soul.

But instead of singing, Joe lies. Joe lies when he cries, they turn Julius Caesar into Donald Trump and stab him to death night after night.

They’re self-absorbed, petulant children who can’t handle rejection or loss.

And when America rejected their brand of naval-gazing identity politics, they lost all reason.

What were you expecting from emotional cripples like these?

Art? Understated brilliance? Nuance and subtext?

Come on.

That’s never going to happen.

Why do Celebrities treat Twitter like their therapist? – April 5, 2018

As a fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly and Angel, it is hard for me to watch Joss Whedon -- the creator of those shows -- come apart at the seams.

Joss is suffering a very public emotional breakdown.

The other day he took to Twitter to share his deepest, darkest angst.



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Wow. He’s Jossy the Hyperbole Spewer.

Yes, Joss. Your hate and sadness are exhausting… for us.

Honey, Twitter isn’t your therapist.

But clearly you need one.

To quote Willow Rosenberg – one of your more vibrant character creations – You have gross emotional problems.

But Twitter isn’t the proper venue to reveal that.

Instead, these should be things kept between Joss and a qualified therapist – preferably a psychiatrist who can prescribe the appropriate medications to help allay these psychopathic tendencies.

Twitter shouldn’t be anybody’s therapist.

I can’t believe I even have to say that!

But alas, celebrities don’t seem to grasp that simple reality.

Joss isn’t alone.

Sharing space in this Twitter Rubber Room are Rob Reiner, Barbra Streisand, Rosie O’Donnell, Jim Carrey and a handful of other unhinged, deeply troubled Hollywood loonies.

And they’re not even limiting it to Twitter for crap’s sake.

They treat every venue and platform like it’s therapy.

Who can forget Madonna and Ashley Judd turning the Women’s March into a very public group therapy session?

All of this angst should be kept between you and a mental health professional – not broadcast to your millions of followers on Twitter or shrieked into a microphone to thousands of pussy-hat-wearing cat ladies.

Get help – professional help in the form of an actual psychiatrist.

The Resistance LOL is untreated Liberalism.

And just like syphilis – if left untreated Liberalism causes madness.

Which, come to think of it, is why they think nothing of actually planning an event called Scream Helplessly at the Sky.

And as I said about that embarrassing event, you never go full-on crazy.

Well, Joss Whedon has gone full-on crazy.

But rather than seek professional help, he takes to Twitter and shares his deranged, neurotic lunacy with the world.

And as a fan of his shows, this really does make me tremendously sad.

So out of respect for the work you’ve done, permit me to give you some unsolicited advice, Joss.

Get off Twitter and pick up an anger bat.

Instead of using your phone to tweet, use it to call an accredited mental health professional.

Show him on a doll where Donald Trump hurt you.

And then get over it!

Fat Blaming – March 6, 2017

First there was fat shaming.

And now, thanks to Barbra Streisand, there’s a new scourge sweeping the planet.

Fat blaming.

Barbra took to the Twitter therapy couch the other day and shared this:

Donald Trump is making me gain weight. I start the day with liquids, but after the morning news, I eat pancakes smothered in maple syrup!

-- Barbra Streisand (@BarbaraStreisand) March 4, 2017

Yup. Babs can’t lay off the carbs. And it’s all Donald Trump’s fault!

She should really have a word with Lena Dunham. Because Lena is blaming Donald Trump for making her lose weight !

You know, when I voted for Trump, I had no idea just how super-powerful he was.

Super Trump: Able to give and take away fat only through the power of his own existence.

The only way Donald Trump could be responsible for Barbra’s ballooning body is if he strapped her to a table and force-fed her those pancakes.

As a recovering alcoholic, I can tell you that blaming others for the stupid choices you make is something I know quite a bit about.

It was never my fault when I got hammered and then acted like a total jackass.

This Look what you made me do! mentality is just pathetic.

It’s Barbra’s own hatred for Trump that is driving her to binge.

And stewing in that hatred, just like socking away those pancakes is all on her.



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And the Bad Mother award goes to… -- November 20, 2018

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants actress Amber Tamblyn revealed that when she was pregnant two years ago, she considered giving her baby away to Canada or Sweden because of Donald Trump’s election.

A dark realization swallowed me, Tamblyn simpered. I was going to bring a baby into this world. And not just any baby: a girl.

Honey, isn’t this something you should be sharing while lying on a couch in the office of a qualified therapist?

What the hell does that have to do with Donald Trump?

He isn’t exactly famous for killing babies. That’s more Planned Parenthood’s wheelhouse.

Now, I’m sure Amber fancies herself the modern-day Jochebed setting her little baby afloat in a basket in order to protect it from the mean old Pharaoh.

But in reality, Donald Trump isn’t Pharaoh, and Amber Tamblyn’s kind of a bad mother.

America didn’t turn into Nazi Germany on November 8, 2016, Amber. And you’re not starring in Sophie’s Choice .

Or Sisterhood of the Traveling Babies for that matter.

I miss the days when folks didn’t wear their neuroses on their sleeve, don’t you?

When did it become the norm to publicly give voice to every unhealthy thought that goes stomping through your head?

Does Amber think sharing this makes her look like a good mother protecting her child?

Because … no. Not really.

A good mother – even one who suffers from Trump Derangement Syndrome – wouldn’t just send her baby away to another country.

And not just because the postage would be astronomical.

No good mother would publicly go on record with these thoughts so that years from now while doing a Google search, that poor kid stumbles across what mommy considered doing to her.

Besides, if Amber was really Mother of the Year, instead of just shipping the kid off to Canada or Sweden, wouldn’t she have tagged along?

Though, I have to say, this is a new twist on the celebrity threat to move to Canada because of Trump, isn’t it?

No, I won’t be moving to Canada. But I will be shipping my baby there!

I hope she at least considered poking holes in the box so her kid could breathe.

It’s bad enough celebrities think we want to hear their insipid political opinions. But now they seem to think we’re eager to be privy to all their unstable musings.

Guess what?

We’re not eager or in the least bit interested.

Listen Mommy Dearest: save these kinds of neurotic infant-shipping fantasies for a qualified shrink.

And after you’ve been helped back into reality, keep that shrink’s number on hand.

Because in a few years, I’m thinking your daughter is going to need it.

Poor Bette Midler – she’s got a tough life – November 1, 2018

Bette Midler is living in an upside-down world where we’re just days away from bursting into flames from Global Warming and everything is just downright bad.

Baddy-bad-bad-bad.

Yes, today is Halloween. Big deal. Because what what could be more nightmarish, harrowing, horrifying, unnerving, unspeakable or repellent than the last nearly 2 years we have lived through, thanks to this inconceivable administration?

-- Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) October 31, 2018

Wow.

I had no idea Bette Midler was living in such a dystopian alternate universe.

She’s really been having a tough life lately.

Can you believe the living hell that these pampered, wealthy celebrities endure?

I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it.

Okay, in the interests of full disclosure, they’re tears of laughter.

What specifically have we lived through that has been harrowing, nightmarish, horrifying, unnerving, unspeakable or repellent?

Because here in the Real World, things in America just keep getting better.

We have a booming economy, more money in our pockets, better job opportunities.

Life is good.

In fact, wages just saw their highest single-quarter increase in a decade.

Yeah. That is horrifying, Bette.

Like virtually every celebrity, Bette would rather pretend life in America is just one notch away from becoming a Mad Max wasteland than even consider that she’s wrong about Donald Trump.

But Bette wasn’t done sputtering.

‪ #Millennials! I am 72 years old and won't be here when the water runs out. YOU'RE GOING TO BE AWFULLY THIRSTY IF YOU DON'T VOTE AS THOUGH YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!! THIS ELECTION AND EVERY ONE IN YOUR LIFETIME!! VOTE! ‬

-- Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) November 1, 2018

Ah, yes. Celebrities and the caps lock.

THIS IS NOT A WELL WOMAN.

Idiots like Bette Midler want you to ignore how much better off you are today than you were two years ago and focus instead on her over-the-top histrionics that are in no way grounded in reality.

For the life of me, I don’t know why she thinks this kind of nonsense would work.

Like the bleating sheep in the corporate news media, Bette Midler expects you to believe her and not your lying eyes.

Not one person will go to the polls next Tuesday and ask, Is Bette Midler’s life better today than it was two years ago?

Okay, that’s not fair. Bette Midler probably asks herself that. But nobody else.

And the truth is, the only reason Bette will say her life is worse today is because she’s worked herself up into a lather over a world that doesn’t even exist.

The Donald Trump monster that she envisions is a figment of her own over-indulged imagination.

He isn’t real.

And neither is this dystopian America that Bette thinks she’s stuck in.

Bette Midler is still living the good life, starring in Broadway shows – all the wonderful things she did before Donald Trump was elected President.

Nothing has changed for her except her own grip on reality.

Celebrities desperate to breathe life into a corpse – June 26, 2019



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Despite the best hopes of the Resistance LOL , the Mueller Report pretty much sputtered out like a wet fart . And most Americans are over it.

As far as we’re concerned the Mueller Report was dead on arrival.

But leave it to Hollywood celebrities to think they can breathe life back into that rotting corpse.

In an effort to get Americans angry and fired up all over again, last night celebrities teamed up to stage a dramatic reading of the Mueller Report.

Earth to Hollywood: You’re not Dr. Frankenstein. And no amount of electricity is going to reanimate that corpse.

This star-studded circle jerk featured Jon Lithgow, Annette Bening, Kevin Kline, Zachary Quinto, Luke Skywalker and Elaine Benis.

Come on. Let’s just call it what it is: a seance.

Do they really think subjecting people to a dramatic reading will be any more effective than the stupid Mueller Prayer Candles?

Staging a dramatic reading isn’t going to change the outcome of the report.

It’s masturbatory and desperate.

Give it up you guys. The Mueller Report is dead. Drop the corpse and move on with your lives.

Now, I have a confession to make.

Zack Quinto and I were friends twenty years ago. And knowing this talented guy who used to kick back and joke around with me for hours on end is participating in this cringe-fest makes me all kinds of sad.

Twenty years ago if you had told me I was going to Photoshop Zack in an image mocking him, I’d have thought you were crazy.

But here we are.

Seeing people crippled by Trump Derangement Syndrome is a horrible thing.

But, and I’m sorry if this is mean, Zack, what the hell is wrong with you guys?

You’re acting like Norman Bates – stuffing his mother’s long-dead corpse and pretending to carry on conversations with her.

Since you starred in the latest Star Trek movies, let me put it in a way you’ll understand:



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No matter how many times you read the Mueller Report — no matter how dramatically you read it – at the end of the day Donald J. Trump did not conspire with Russia to steal the election from Hillary Clinton.

So get over it!

Jeeze Louise!

This is pathetic.

The Congressional Democrats staging a public reading didn’t change anything.

And a star-studded cast of celebrities won’t either.

Of course it doesn’t help the celebrities one bit that most Americans have had just about enough of Hollywood lecturing, scolding and guilting us over everything.

We’re done with you.

So pack up your rotting, stinking corpse and hit the bricks.

The Best Actor & Actress of the Hollywood Resistance LOL

While President Trump’s mere existence has exposed the unhinged sanctimony of the entertainment industry as a whole, two members of the Hollywood Resistance LOL have turned in such stand-out performances in the MAGA age, they both deserve an Oscar.

And who are the Best Actor and Best Actress of the Resistance LOL ?

Why, it was no contest – Jussie Smollett and Alyssa Milano.

This is MAGA Country – the pitiful tale of Jussie Smollett

Law & Order: Hoax Crimes Unit – January 30, 2019

Hoax Crimes aren’t just the hobby of random, anonymous college coeds looking for an excuse for staying out past curfew anymore.

They’ve gone Hollywood!

No, I don’t mean they’ve added Hoax Crimes to the line-up of various Law & Order programs.



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Hollywood actors are getting in on the Hoax Crimes scam.

Some actor with a funny name (whom I never heard of until yesterday) claims that he was the victim of a hate crime in Chicago.

This hate crime starred mask-wearing Trump supporters in red Make America Great Again hats who threw an unknown substance on him and tied a rope around his neck while delivering the made-for-TV line, This is MAGA country!

Because when I hear Chicago, the first thing that leaps to mind is This MAGA Country!

The actor then went back to his apartment and forty minutes later, his manager called the cops.

When Chicago police arrived at his home, the dude still had the rope around his neck.

Maybe it’s me, but I’d take the rope off before I called my manager.

Then again, that might have been a blooper and will show up in the gag reel special feature on the DVD release of this season’s Law & Order: Hoax Crimes Unit.

Naturally, TMZ tripped all over itself to report this Trump-Related Hoax Crime.

And, faster than you can say Covington Catholic, the story spread like syphilis all over social media.

All the folks who stupidly fell for the Smirking MAGA-hat-wearing taunter story immediately went into breathless hysterics over the This is MAGA Country Hoax Crime story.

In spite of TMZ’s ridiculous claim, Chicago Police say the this is MAGA country isn’t in the report.

But no matter. We have a President to destroy!

In fact, despite the lurid attention to detail from this actor with a funny name, Chicago police can’t find a thing to support the his claims.

They’ve combed through hundreds of hours of surveillance footage and can’t find hide nor hair of these white MAGA super villains.

I’m guessing one of them is named Kaiser Soze.

On its face, the whole story defies logic.

Hey fellow white Trump supporter, I suggest we go out late at night in arctic temperatures in deep blue Chicago with rope and bleach in case we run into a supporting actor on 'Empire' and attack him yelling 'MAGA' because of course that sounds plausible.

-- Kurt Schlichter (@KurtSchlichter) January 29, 2019

All these idiots have to do is not be insane.