This Christmas

By Jeannie Moon

Single mother Sabrina Gervais has built a happy life with her daughter Charlotte in their eastern Long Island hometown of Holly Point. Having Charlie meant putting some of her own dreams on hold, but Sabrina is content to surround herself with family and friends, safe from the realities of the outside world. She had enough of that when the man she loved broke her heart.

Jake Killen’s career in professional hockey has brought him many rewards on and off the ice, but returning to New York brings back a flood of memories. When he sees Sabrina again, he discovers that he didn’t just move away from her ten years ago, but also from their unborn child.

Struggling with anger, guilt, and chemistry that’s off the chart, Sabrina and Jake wonder if they can find love again and, this Christmas, make all their wishes come true.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tule Publishing
• Release date: Nov 11, 2014
• ISBN: 9781942240211

Book preview

Author

For my husband,

my love story.

Acknowledgements

I’ve always wanted to write a Christmas story and This Christmas has been an absolute joy for me to create. There are a number of people who had a hand in making it so special, and I wish I had a whole book to thank them.

First, to my partners in crime and my best friends, Patty Blount, Jolyse Barnett and Jennifer Gracen, who would have thought when we met through Long Island Romance Writers almost four years ago that we’d be doing this series together? You girls are amazing and I wouldn’t be half the writer I am without you. #Fab4.

To the team at Tule Publishing, Meghan, Lee, and Talia, thank you for making this experience so rewarding. You three are miracle workers. Many thanks, and much love goes to Jane Porter. Not only are you a phenomenally talented author, you’re one of the best people I have the privilege of knowing. That you thought I belonged in the Tule family is a gift I will never take for granted. Thank you.

This book would not be what it is without the guidance of my editor, Lilian Darcy. Your understanding of story, your creative spirit and your tireless work on our behalf has made all of the Christmas in New York books truly special.

My agent Stephany Evans has the most amazing knack for keeping things in perspective and thank goodness I have you in my corner. An author couldn’t ask for a better advocate and personally, I couldn’t ask for a more steadfast friend.

Finally, to my dear family, through all the ups and downs, life with all of you is a gift and because of that, every day is Christmas.

Prologue

THANKSGIVING ~ 10 YEARS AGO

"She’s not coming out. Do you think it turned blue?" Cass paced around the room wondering what the hell was going on in Sabrina’s bathroom. She looked at her friends who were perched on the window seat in Sabrina’s bedroom, both gazing out the window at the Holly Point lighthouse in the distance.

Well? She’s been in there a lot longer than three minutes. Cass demanded when neither responded.

What do you want us to do, Cass? Jade was as cool as a cucumber—measured and calm as always. And right at that moment it annoyed the crap out of Cass.

Kara looked over, twirling a lock of blonde hair. It was a nervous habit, one she’d developed after her mother had died. You could knock.

Cass stormed across the room, not understanding why she was the only one freaking out over this. What was wrong with them? Had their first year of business school sucked the souls out of her friends? Flinging her hair over her shoulder, Cass knocked as Kara suggested. The four of them... five if they counted Elena who was two years younger and currently brooding over some greasy drummer... were closer than siblings. Their mothers were sorority sisters who were best friends for over twenty-five years, and the girls had grown up together, sharing holidays, special events and—Cass looked at Kara, thought of Elena—they’d endured a tragedy beyond measure. Cass knocked again, harder, and she heard the lock flip on the door handle.

Sabrina emerged, the look on her waiflike face answering the question that hung over the room.

It’s positive, isn’t it? Jade’s voice, soft and steady, cut through the stillness that had descended.

Bree didn’t say anything. She went to her bed, lay on her side, and pulled her legs up to her chest in such a way that she looked small and fragile. Cass looked into Sabrina’s olive colored eyes which were large and cat-like—there were no tears, but the fear was overwhelming. Sabrina was a powerhouse, just like her mother. She was sweet and smart, and Cass couldn’t imagine who had gotten her to go off her well-planned path. She’d just turned nineteen, was a pre-med major at an Ivy League school and had planned to be a surgeon. Years of schooling, a career she really wanted, was all up in the air.

As far as they all knew, Sabrina didn’t even have a boyfriend.

Kara lay down behind her, curling in while she stroked Bree’s long, dark brown hair. What are you going to do?

Hold on a second, Jade said, focused as always. Who’s the father?

Sabrina’s eyes widened and that was when the tears came. Big, fat drops that told everyone their friend’s heart was broken. Jade immediately felt bad and sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out and touching Bree’s leg in comfort. Oh, no. Don’t cry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

Before Cass could say anything, seventeen-year-old Elena threw open the door, and bolted into Bree’s bathroom. In ten seconds she was back in the room holding the pregnancy test. Okay, so who’s preggers?

Kara was mortified, grabbing at what was in her younger sister’s hand. You shouldn’t be in here, Elena...

Why? She held the pregnancy test out of Kara’s reach. Who’s knocked up?

Sabrina sat up, her eyes still flooded. I am.

Oh, my God. Elena plopped next to Bree and looped her arm around their distraught friend’s shoulder. Kara and Jade hadn’t moved, and Cass pressed her back against the wall. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not to Sabrina. She was the one who was most focused. The most innocent. What the hell had been going on?

It’s Jake’s, isn’t it? Elena asked.

Once again, there was silence and Sabrina was the only one who reacted. The tears fell faster and her breath came in little gulps. I... I... why would you say that?

Oh, come on. I was here almost the whole summer. I’m not blind or stupid. I saw the way you two acted around each other. Elena shook her head. I guess I was the only one who saw you sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night.

Cass was a word person, but right then she didn’t know what to say. Sabrina and Jake Killen? Hot, older, and now married hockey player, Jake Killen? Sabrina’s brother’s teammate?

Kara yanked on one of the chopped, hot pink locks on her sister’s head. You shouldn’t be talking about this.

Oh, for God’s sake, Elena moaned. It’s not like I don’t know where babies come from. I’ve had sex before.

Kara’s face dropped. What do you mean you’ve had sex?

Look, sissy, just because you’re saving yourself for Mr. Right, doesn’t mean everyone is. Keep your eyes on the ball. This is about Bree.

Cass finally approached and knelt down next to Bree who was sitting straight and unmoving. She took her friend’s hand and hoped Bree would look up and make eye contact, but she didn’t. She just continued to cry quietly.

Honey, is Elena right? Is Jake the father?

Bree nodded, her hair falling forward, a shaky breath escaping her lungs. We got to be friends last spring at the end of the season. We talked a lot, spent some time together. And then he broke it off with his fiancée. She looked up, her eyes full, her lip trembling. Nothing happened before that, though. I swear. She swallowed, sounded almost desperate. He never touched me, never did anything.

Maybe not, Elena declared. But it was pretty obvious that you two liked each other.

It hurt Cass to watch her friend cry, but she still couldn’t wrap her head around the chain of events. How had they all missed what was happening with Bree and Jake?

How old is he? Jade looped her arm around Bree’s shoulder.

He’s twenty five.

Is that why he was here so much last summer? Cass was still holding Bree’s hands, she wouldn’t let go until Bree wouldn’t stand for it anymore. He was here for you?

Not exactly. Originally, he was waiting for a place to open up in the city, but there was a problem with the sub-let. So he stayed in the apartment over our garage. He and Ryan trained together all summer.

Jade piped in, And there are worse places to be during the summer than here.

All the girls had spent summers at this house—sometimes all at once. Bree’s father’s family had built it years ago as a summer retreat, before Holly Point became a summer destination, and added on to it over the past fifty years. It was immense with seven bedrooms and five bathrooms and good feelings all around. But last summer was different. Cass stayed at NYU for summer session. Jade and Kara had jobs that demanded all their time. Bree was here with Elena. And now they knew Jake was here, too.

But he wasn’t here for the sun, sand, and surf. He was here for Sabrina.

I don’t know what to say. Jade stood and paced the room. Why didn’t you tell any of us?

Bree wrapped her arms around her middle and shrugged. I don’t know. I should have. But there was something so special about keeping it to ourselves. Plus, I knew you guys would think I was crazy because he’s so much older than me, and Ryan would go ballistic...

Was Jake trying to keep you a secret? Cass had to ask. The guy had gotten married a month ago, so something had to have happened. I mean, did he take you out or anything?

He did. We’d go into town, or to the beach. He was so sweet with me. Bree gave a weak smile and Cass wished she had a memory of any of this, but she didn’t. Bree was one of her best friends and she didn’t know anything.

He loved me, her friend whispered. And I loved him. I still do. I think I will forever.

Was he your... was he your first? Cass already knew the answer, but she was trying to get her head around what she’d missed. Bree didn’t speak, she just nodded.

That admission brought on a wave of tears, deep painful sobs that tore at Cass. Oh, God. Sabrina looked right at Cass. What am I going to do? He’s gone.

Gone? Where is he? Cass wrapped her arms around Sabrina as her friend collapsed on her shoulder. And that was it right there. Bree was always quick with a smile, a joke, or a smart ass comment, but the truth of it was, her friend was sweet and sheltered. And now she was really, really scared.

Elena mouthed the word traded right as Bree responded.

He’s in Toronto. But it’s not just that. He went back to Sydney.

Kara handed Bree tissues to mop her eyes. Who’s Sydney?

His ex-fiancée. Well, she’s his wife now. The pain, the sorrow was evident with every word Bree uttered. She told him she was pregnant.

Jade was fuming. She was stalking the room like a willowy blonde cat and making Cass nervous. Well... well, she stuttered. "You’ll just have to tell him you’re pregnant. And then, and then..."

Then what? Sabrina asked, her voice so small it broke Cass’s heart. He’s not coming back, so what happens? He has to choose? Sabrina stood and walked to the window, folding her arms and resting her head against the wall, tears staining her cheeks. What if he picks her? I don’t know if I can handle that. I mean, really, if you think about it, he already did. He picked her.

Cass rose and went to her friend. The five of them were all close, but she and Bree saw each other more than the others since they both lived on Long Island. Bree stiffened when Cass placed a hand on her shoulder.

Are you going to tell him anything?

No, she whispered. He made his choice. I have to live with mine.

Oh, Bree...

Sabrina spun and the look on her face was more serious, more frightened than Cass had ever seen before. You can’t tell anyone, Cassie. Looking past her at the other girls, she told them the same thing. No one can tell. This has to stay secret. Ryan would kill him.

They all looked at each other, knowing that keeping the secret would cause more problems down the road. But smart, sweet Sabrina was unwavering. Each one of them nodded, their promise to her as solemn as any vow, and Cass knew right then that none of them would breathe a word of the father’s identity. This secret was too important and they all knew it. Bree was right. Her brother, Ryan, would go after Jake. And truth be told, while seeing Jake get the crap beat out of him by big, bad Ryan Gervais would have some appeal, Cass figured it was better for Bree to close that door completely. She didn’t need Jake Killen in her life; he certainly didn’t deserve to be there.

Chapter One

Jake Killen was happy to be back in New York. Not many farm boys from the middle of Canada could be heard saying that, but he loved the buzz he got being around the city. He liked the action and enjoyed the busy life he lived when he was there during the season. He loved the beaches to the east, the mountains to his north, and Jake liked the people.

Yeah, he especially liked the people. They were straightforward, funny, and once they got to know someone, very loyal. He’d missed being here and there were a lot of reasons for that. One in particular was a green-eyed girl who had changed his life. One whom he’d loved. But, ten years ago he’d broken her heart, as well as his own in the process.

Funny things those broken hearts... they never let him forget a damn thing.