Breaking Through Infinity: The Habit Of Breaking Habits

By Judi Cinéas LCSW PhD

As a therapist, clients always want to tell me about self-help books they're reading. I found that those boos usually stopped short of showing the reader how to do what they talked about. My books fill that gab. In Breaking Through Infinity we cover 31 days's worth of things to do to help you make lasting changes. It's not enough tp tell you taht you can do something- It's more important to show the path. The book addresses things that often get in the way of people reaching their goals and how to overcome them. In this books I share methods that have worked well for clients so that you to can apply them to the changes you seek. We discuss actionable steps you can take help you realize your hopes, wishes and dreams and break out of the cycle of starting on goals and not seeing them through to completion.

This book helps you to understand your behaviors and how YOU can change them.

In Breaking Through Infinity, learn how to:
Set Goals so to can achieve them
Assess for strengths that will help your journey
Improve your skills
Understand the power of stacking small changes to make a BIG difference

Whether you want to eliminate a bad habit or form a positive habit Change Always Begins With YOU.

Breaking Through Infinity is more than a book. It is a tool that guides you through the changes that you want to make with actionable lessons and exercises.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Judi Cinéas LCSW PhD
• Release date: Jul 5, 2019
• ISBN: 9780982664971

Judi Cinéas LCSW PhD

Dr. Judi Cinéas is a Florida and New York LCSW. She has web-based therapy practice allowing her to serve clients throughout both states for almost two decades. Cinéas is a transition specialist whose focus is on helping people make the lasting changes to get what they want out of life and their relationships. Her books include Attitude Adjustment: Keys to Living Life on Your Terms Six Months to Dr.: How To Complete A Dissertation In Six Months Breaking Through Infinity: The Habit of Breaking Habits Her books focus on helping individuals helping the individual get out of their own way. www.LakayPublishing.com/order

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No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission of the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review. For information regarding permission, please write to:

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Text and Illustrations copyright © 2012 by Judi Cinéas.

All rights reserved.

Lakay Publishing January 2012

Cover, graphics by DAE Productions

Editing by Isabelle Fenelon-Jean

ISBN: 978-0-9826649-7-1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Judi Cinéas

Breaking Through Infinity/by Judi Cinéas

DEDICATION

To all who aspire to change the world

one act of kindness at a time

All great change happens one step at a time.

A single step off the usual path can change the destination.

Thank you for selecting Attitude Adjustment. I hope that you will find this book very helpful and will take the time to apply the information you find in the book.

After reading this book, please consider returning to Smashwords to and add your 5-Star review. While you’re at it, check out some of my other books.

Again, thank you for trusting me with your time.

Happy Reading!

Judi

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Table Of Contents

1. Introduction

2. Target Selection

3. Goal Setting

4. Setting Objectives

5. Develop Action Plan

6 Setting A Timeline

7. Create A Reward Schedule

8. Personal SWOT Analysis

9. Spirit Boosters

10. Create A Support Network

11. Getting Started

12. Moving Forward

13. Track Your Progress

14. Develop Tenacity

15. Set & Enforce Boundaries

16. Engage Accountability Resources

17. Assess, Evaluate & Adjust

18. Develop A Spirit Of Gratitude

19. Celebrate Progress

20. Prioritize Learning

21. Let Your Past Go

22. Be Kind To Yourself

23. Breaks And Self Care

24. Work Like Your Success Depends On It

25. Make A Replacement Plan

26. Watch Your Thoughts

27. Your Goal Is Not A Dirty Little Secret

28. Welcome The Help You Need

29. Do What Works For You

30. Never Give Up!

31. Celebrate Your Success

1

Introduction

Most people strive and struggle everyday to achieve a certain state of being comfortable, even though comfort is one of the greatest hindrances to success. It is what they believe they want and every other day there are new ways, products and methods being developed and promoted to help attain it. When your eyes open in the morning and your bed is nice and warm, your pillows are soft and plush, you are all wrapped up in the coziness of your comforter, it can be a battle to get out of that bed. You may want to hit the snooze button a time or two. Some people even build in an extra 10 or 20 minutes just because they know they will want to linger in bed a little longer after the alarm goes off. People may know that they need to get up and out of bed, but there is something about those few extra minutes. It’s the comfort. We strive for it. We yearn for it. People may know that these things don’t help them get where they want. In some cases, they may even deter one from their track- but it just feels so good. The repercussions are later- for now comfort is just so nice and so hard to part with that too often, people give in to it.

Very often you hear people talking about how it takes 21 days to turn a behavior into a habit. While making the 21-day commitment can be helpful, it is important to have a plan of action. The 21 day commitment is most effective when working on a single unchanging item, such as waking up at 6:30 every morning. Even then, studies have shown that the time frame can vary greatly from as few as 15 days to as long as three to six months. Still, we must keep in mind that there are outliers to every situation- the exceptions to the rule. For many people, the sweet spot is that 21 day window in which they can turn a behavior into a habit. Some windows may be slightly narrower, others a bit wider, but the central point is the 21 days that individuals generally shoot for. You may reach the state of habit before then, and it is always nice to reach a goal before time. It is also important to remember that if the 21 days have come and you are still not quite at that point, that is not necessarily an indication that what you are doing is not working. Knowing that some people or some habits may require a little more than just the 21 days means that your change may still be in process even when day 22 has come and gone. Having invested 21 days, the goal should then be to reach the reward of completion and reaping the desired benefits.

Achieving goals further complicates things as working toward goals require constant and progressive change. The only constant in most cases is advancement. When working on a goal, you may find that things get increasingly challenging. While a 21 day commitment may help you get in the habit of taking consistent action toward your goal, having an action plan is what it really takes to get you taking the appropriate actions. Throughout this book you will encounter a series of exercises. These exercises are designed to help you think about and view things in a different manner, which will in turn change the ways in which you act toward the things that you want. You are encouraged to take the time to honestly complete each one. Remember, the goal is to break the cycle of infinite start and stop that has served as a barricade between you and your goals.

You can institute a 21 day challenge to help you form the habit of doing something toward your goal every day. The activities in this book can provide a type of guide as to what your daily actions will be. As you consistently act, the ease of getting up and doing something will improve, which will help as the actual steps that you are taking are likely to be going the other way on the easy meter.

Cycles

One of the nicest things about cycles is their predictability. Predictability has a way of making humans comfortable. When you know what’s coming and know what to expect you can relax. In some ways knowing what is coming can be comforting, especially when going through a rough patch. It’s like when you are on the roller coaster and see that final peak. It’s scary, but you know that once you make it through that last loop it’s going stop soon and you’ll be back on solid ground.

Life has its own little cycles, some good, some not as much, but most of them are self-imposed. Whether you are riding a roller coaster or merry-go-round you have to make a conscious decision to get off the ride to move from that path. It is true that someone else may have to mechanically stop the ride, but you must choose to get off or your ride will continue. There may be calming points or momentary stops at which you can choose to get off the ride, but as long as you stay in your seat it is bound to start up again. One of the differences between these two rides is that one is more turbulent, which makes it less comfortable for the rider to stay on for extended periods. After a roller coaster ride, most people are ready for the change to solid ground. On a merry-go-round, the movement is not as vigorous thus making it easier to go along with the ride. It’s comfortable. While you’re up there, merrily circling around, you have time to see all the other things that are going on that you may want to do, but as long as you are up on that one ride, as great as it may be, and as close as everything else may seem, they will continue to elude you. You can enjoy the ride and enjoy the view, but at every point, you will have to make a decision on whether looking from afar is enough for you or if you will get off this particular ride and engage with the other opportunities available to you. Someone else may control when the ride stops, but you get to decide if you will get off or continue on.

The same rule applies to the life roller coasters and merry-go-rounds in that as long as you continue to stay on the ride other things that you want will remain out of your reach. The roller coaster represents the highs and lows that you may go through. Just when you think it looks like things may be stabilizing here comes another loop or long drop. You may want to get off, but you are waiting for the right time, when you are in just the right position to do so. Since the ride will continue to move at an alarmingly fast pace, the right time will not come until you create it. Life is about finding a way even when it looks like there is no way.

As scary as the roller coaster can be, the merry-go-round is even more dangerous. Most people live the merry-go-round life. It’s not as scary as the roller coaster at first sight. It’s not like the roller coaster where every other move is making you wish for steady ground. It’s nice. It provides some excitement, and does not really pose an obvious threat. It’s comfortable. You could stay there for as long as you want and never press the stop button. All the while these other things that you see and want keep passing through your line of sight but no matter how much you want them, you just can’t seem to grab hold them. You may apply every different mental trick that you can think of, but as long as you are on the ride it just does not seem to happen.

Sometimes the ride is fun. Sometimes the ride is scary. And there are those times when the ride is just the ride. It has its time and it has its place, but to reach the other things that you want and have only been able to see from a distance, you have to break the cycle and get off the ride.

Certain things are easy to get, but the things that you truly desire, and the things that matter most are rarely among them. The things that you truly value will require you to make deliberate efforts and apply intentional action toward getting them. The things you really want are not easy to get because if they were easy everyone would have them, and if everyone had them what would be the excitement in you having them too? The things that are worth having are not easy to get. They don’t just fall on your lap while you’re sitting on the couch, but when you make a determined effort to reach them, you will place yourself in the position to get them.

Breaking the cycle

It is said that Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. As much as these words are quoted you would think that more people would stop that behavior completely, but that is not the case. Cycles are comfortable and predictable. What you experience are the same things that you know and have grown to expect and people like that because there are no surprises. You know what you are getting with those actions and you keep going back because you know and like what you get. This is not to say that there aren’t others things that you would like even more, but you know where you stand in your comfort zone. Unfortunately, you do not get the opportunities to grow and partake in new experiences there. Many of the things that you want are truly right there, within your reach, but to reach them you need to extend yourself beyond your comfort zone. Most people are terrified of that area because there are no guarantees beyond the line and you don’t know what you’ll find. They will make it all the way to the edge and walk the circumference, refusing to go beyond the line no matter how many times they circle around.

Breaking a cycle requires that you take a step that is off the path that you have been on. You simply have to make a small change, and everything after that will be consequently affected. Many people will not do that because of the all or nothing mentality that keeps them from seeing the impact of smaller steps. Just because a small step did not land you at your desired destination does not make that one step pointless because you achieved two things 1- It moved you from where you were and 2- It helped you advance toward your destination. Stepping off the path changes your course.

The Pain Of Comfort

Your comfort zone is like your Achilles heel, it may not be a constant active bother and most of the time you do not even notice that it’s there, but it is always there right on time to hold you back. It does not allow you room to grow, because growth would require you to have new experiences and take risks that are outside of your norm and most certainly beyond the perimeter of the zone. It protects you from many things, including risks, discomfort, and challenges in an effort to shield you from encountering potential hurt and disappointment. At the same time, it is also blocking you from accessing the success, joy and empowerment that could result.

The comfort zone’s strongest tool for holding you back is the rosy experiences that it floods you with. Within your comfort zone, things have a tendency to go your way. You don’t have to worry about not succeeding because the parameters have already been set to ensure your success. As long as you stay within the limited confines of the zone then you don’t have to worry. You are still able to see the events and experiences taking place beyond the zone but you just will not have access to them. There will be things outside of the zone that will grab your attention and activate desire, but as long as you are within the safety of the zone