Cloth of Grace: Choices and Consequences, #4

By Rachel J Bonner

The fourth book in the enthralling Choices and Consequences series

When the fate of the world rests on your shoulders, how do you choose between what you ought to do and the only thing you really want?

Leonie finally knows who she is. But now she needs to decide who she is going to be. Her choice will affect not just her family, not just those she knows but tens, hundreds of thousands, millions of people that she doesn't. And every path that's open to her will put Perry under the pressures that caused his breakdown before. How can she do what she must and still protect Perry?

Perry desperately wants to make things easier for Leonie. Somehow he has to find the strength to face the things that all but destroyed him in the past. But every way he turns some aspect of his past lies waiting to pounce – even during his happiest moments. And he can never forget that Leonie's life is in danger from someone, somewhere.

Gabriel has managed to negotiate peace, at least in theory. Now he must put that into practice and reunite Leonie with the family she never knew she had. Then disaster strikes right in the middle of his own sanctuary. Can he still protect those he loves, or has he been harbouring a villain the whole time?

Reviews for Strand of Faith – book 1 in the Choices and Consequences series

Magical … full of adventure with enjoyable characters…a must read for the genre! Touch My Spine Book Reviews

It is a truly unique story and the elements are woven together so well. Odd Socks and Lollipops

Such an exciting concept executed so cleverly and uniquely. This is the start of such an exciting series. ZooLoo's Book Diary

Reviews for Thread of Hope – book 2 in the Choices and Consequences series

This is a story of faith, god and fantasy all mixed into a beautifully written tale of love and consequences of our actions….one that will stay with you… The Bookwormery

The end is so thrilling I want to read the next book. In De Boekenkast

I love how the characters are developing and how the relationships, interactions and all the secrets are connecting and proving to be even more important to the plot. An exciting, interesting, thought-provoking, emotional journey. Jess Bookish Life

Reviews for Weave of Love – book 3 in the Choices and Consequences series

A wonderful blend of fantasy and romance without the tropes or standard formula. It's a beautiful premise, filled with drama, action, and everything we've come to expect from the series. Radzy Writes

I loved getting to see the relationships and the characters develop… this is a book that …makes you want to rush through to find out exactly what's going to happen! FNM Book Reviews

An incredible series with fantastic and powerful characters. This book has amazing world building, a good story and intriguing characters. Fany goes English

I adore the world that Bonner has built up in this series; it's a very unique but interesting world, complete with an intricate social system and clearly defined communities, with the religious undertones adding a fresh twist to it. K T Robson reviews

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rachel J Bonner
• Release date: Feb 29, 2020
• ISBN: 9781912890101

Rachel J Bonner

Rachel J Bonner is the author of the compelling and enthralling four book Choices and Consequences series.  The first book in the series, Strand of Faith, was published in November 2018. Book 2, Thread of Hope, followed on 2nd May 2019, and Weave of Love in October of the same year. The final part, Cloth of Grace was released at the end of February 2020. Getting a degree in engineering, followed by a career in accountancy is probably not a conventional path to becoming an author, particularly in fantasy or romance.  Rachel says that, although accountancy isn’t anything like as boring as everyone thinks, writing is a lot more fun.  When not writing, she can be found walking in the beautiful countryside near where she lives, which has influenced much of the scenery in her books, or shooting things with her local archery club.  Shooting targets only, honest.  Nothing to worry about. (Okay, sometimes we shoot Polo mints. Or cabbages. Still nothing to worry about.) She also enjoys swimming, eating chocolate chip cookies and growing aromatic herbs, especially thyme and rosemary.  It’s no coincidence that her heroine likes the same things.

Book preview

Story So Far

Cloth of Grace is the fourth book in the Choices and Consequences series. If you haven’t read Strand of Faith, Thread of Hope or Weave of Love I strongly recommend that you do read those first as you will get a lot more out of Cloth of Grace that way. You can find them at www.books2read.com/strandoffaith and www.books2read.com/threadofhope and www.books2read.com/weaveoflove respectively.

But, if you are really eager to get on with Cloth of Grace, or you have read the first three and would like a quick reminder of what’s happened up to now, here is the story so far.

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Strand of Faith

The story is set in a post-apocalyptic feudal society ruled by a few powerful families.

It begins with a young Lord, Prospero, coming across a feral child, a meeting which changes his life. Subsequent events lead to him becoming a monk.

Years later, using his extraordinary mental powers, he senses a stranger hiding in the monastery at House St Peter and becomes obsessed with finding them. While dealing with a student having a nightmare (a consequence of developing mental powers) he discovers his stranger is Leonie, an orphan girl, masquerading as a male student. Abbot Lord Gabriel adopts Leonie as his ward, aware through his own mental powers that she unknowingly holds the key to the world’s future. He believes he must push Prospero and Leonie together for a chance of world peace – and this will potentially lead to their deaths. He makes Prospero and his close friend, Andrew, responsible for Leonie, using Andrew to influence Prospero’s actions. Tormented by his choices and troubled by a lack of progress in the relationship, Gabriel also turns to his sister, Eleanor for help.

Prospero is terrified of falling in love with Leonie. Leaving the monastery means facing the issues which previously drove him to a breakdown. Andrew – who has long hidden feelings for Prospero – initially considers Leonie a trouble maker, but Eleanor leads Andrew to see Leonie as a victim not a villain and the two become friends.

Previous experiences mean Leonie is afraid her feelings for Prospero will lead to his death. When Prospero confesses his love to her, she is unable to reciprocate verbally, but her actions indicate she feels the same way. Prospero decides to leave the monastery, face up to his issues and impulsively proposes to Leonie.

Leonie thinks that marriage to her will put him in danger. She cannot take the risk and runs away, determined to find a new start elsewhere.

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Available at www.books2read.com/strandoffaith

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Thread of Hope

Prospero discovers that Leonie is missing. Eleanor encourages Gabriel to carry out a wide search for her, and once they find Leonie, ensures that Prospero is the one to bring her back.

Prospero finds Leonie and convinces her to marry him. She shares her past with him and later he realises that he knows who she is – a detail he inadvertently shares with Gabriel. Knowing that this puts both Leonie and Prospero in danger, Gabriel blocks Prospero’s memory so that he can’t share the information with Leonie. 

Prospero leaves the monastic order and reverts to his past nickname, Perry. He faces up to some of his past issues, but postpones facing the expectations of his family to concentrate on being with Leonie. Leonie is terrified of the consequences of their relationship but finds marriage brings her a sense of completeness, happiness and confidence that she wasn’t expecting. Perry and Leonie rescue a group of feral children and Perry takes them to the orphanage at Taylor House. He tells Lord James, who runs Taylor House, all about his recent marriage and his wife.

Gabriel now knows that Leonie is the child of an infamous and scandalous relationship between heirs to the two largest warring Great Houses, and as such, those from both Houses either want her dead or at least under their control. He starts negotiations about her future with one of those Houses but is very much aware that his actions may yet lead to Leonie’s death.

Whilst attending a conference in a neighbouring Great House, Perry and Leonie are involved in an explosion. Perry shows Leonie how to access almost unlimited reserves of mental power which enable her to save many of the victims. They are both aware that using power in this way will almost certainly prove fatal to Leonie.

Perry manages to bring the almost lifeless Leonie back to House St Peter, where every effort is made to treat her. Despite this, her life hangs in the balance.

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Available at www.books2read.com/threadofhope

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Weave of Love

Leonie starts to recover from the consequences of the explosion. However, she has lost all the mental powers that she had before. She and Perry struggle to re-establish their happy relationship, each misunderstanding the other’s concerns but matters are resolved by Andrew. Gabriel sends Perry and Leonie to visit Perry’s family, in the territories of Great House Tennant for Leonie to convalesce. Perry has to sort out past differences and disputes with his parents and siblings. Perry’s family is very welcoming to Leonie and she starts to redevelop some of her mental gifts. In this loving environment she realises that she is safe to acknowledge that she loves Perry.

Meanwhile, Gabriel arranges a meeting between the leaders of the warring Great Houses. Both Great Houses acknowledge Leonie as their descendant, and that she is heir to Great House Lindum. It is revealed that junior members of both families had worked together to care for and protect Leonie since her birth and have been looking for her since her aunt’s assassination. The High Lords agree to set aside their ancient feud and attempt to work together in the future. Leonie is to be given the choice as to which House she will belong to, and what role she will take.

Leonie and Perry are summoned to visit Perry’s uncle, the High Lord of Great House Tennant. Lord Neville tells them of Leonie’s ancestry and heritage. Leonie runs away, believing that Perry has known this all along and has betrayed her trust. Perry finds her and manages to convince her of his innocence. Leonie is tormented by the choice she has to make and the responsibilities being thrust upon her.

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Available at www.books2read.com/weaveoflove

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If you would like to know more about the Great Houses and people of this world, you can find more information and a ‘cast list’ on my website at www.racheljbonner.co.uk/people.html

Prologue

The sound of hooves impinged on his sleep, bringing him awake in a moment. He glanced around the room, still dark, with a faint moonlight glow outlining the window. There were voices too, some issuing quiet but urgent orders, others swearing and cursing. He hurried to his bedroom window, overlooking the main courtyard. Horses were milling around, riders dismounting and moving away. For a group that specialised in silence, there was a lot of noise. Many of the group appeared to be limping or hunched over in pain. And far too many of them were heading for the back entrance to the hospital rather than the courtyard rooms.

He shrugged and returned to bed. He’d find out more in the morning. Most of this community were here because of some misfortune. Gossiping about the misfortunes of others was one of their chief pleasures. As he started to drift back to sleep, his mind dwelled on his own situation.

He was the misfortune that had meant his parents had come here. Most of their people were nomadic but there was no place for a child on the road or on missions. There were perhaps three or four children here at any one time, with one or both of their parents. The rest of this settled community were older, either retired from active missions, or permanently incapacitated by some injury or accident.

He rolled over, punching his pillow, unable to get comfortable as he remembered his last conversation with his mother, just before she’d left on this mission.

You’re nearly fifteen, she’d said. While I’m away, think about your future. If you want to stay as one of us, it’s almost time for you to leave for further training.

And if I don’t? he’d asked, his voice high, betraying him.

She’d ignored his tone. Then we’ll find you a conventional foster family, far away.

Either way he’d be leaving the only home he’d known. His choice wasn’t about staying or leaving but about what he wanted to do in the future – and he still didn’t know. His final thought before sleep claimed him was that his mother had led this last mission. He hoped she hadn’t been badly injured.

***

At breakfast, he sat quietly, listening to all the gossip.

That child’s the spawn of the devil.

She’s just a child. How much trouble can a four year old be? They must have made a right mess of things.

Old so-and-so’ll never work again. He’ll be lucky even to walk again.

There’s not a one of them came back without burns and bruises. Most have broken bones.

Must have been one heck of a contract to be worth it.

He could have stayed listening all day but he had school, training – he was particularly good with anything that required marksmanship – and his chores on the farm and in the hospital.

The hospital fascinated him and he was toying with the idea of medicine as a future career. Today he ambled in through the back entrance and towards the janitor’s room, in no particular hurry to get there and have to start his cleaning duties. As he passed her room – the door slightly open – the child was whimpering and crying quietly. Although he had no duties that should take him in there, he pushed the door open further and went in.

She was curled up on the bed, clearly terrified and partly restrained. He knew she’d been brought here so they could implant a tracker, and her movement had been restricted so that she wouldn’t cause further damage at the implantation site, nor tear out the drip that had been inserted.

She watched his movements with huge dark scared eyes, so he sat on the bed beside her and tried to reassure her. He didn’t know whether she understood him. He had an aptitude for languages, indeed he was already fluent in several different ones, but he didn’t recognise any of the few words she uttered. He tried the various languages he knew but none seemed to spark more recognition in her eyes than any other. In the end perhaps it was just the tone of his voice that helped, but as he sat there talking to her and holding her hand, her body relaxed and eventually she slept.

The door creaked and his mother walked in to the room. She was dressed typically for someone on the road or on a mission for their clan – close fitting dark clothing, with her head and most of her face also covered. He shouldn’t have been in here and expected to be in serious trouble, but her voice was mild even if the words were a reprimand. You shouldn’t really let either a client or a subject see your face, she told him.

She was scared, he replied, trying to explain his actions.

His mother nodded. I know. You did right. It may seem strange but compassion is important in our work.

He knew that his parents – and the rest of the active adults of his clan – were Assassins, highly skilled and very expensive to commission. He had been brought up to believe that killing others for money was neither right nor wrong, simply a way of life. He didn’t understand how compassion could be part of that but for once his mother seemed willing to talk about it.

This is unusual, she said, gesturing at the child. When we kill, we do so quickly and cleanly, and by surprise, with no period of fear or apprehension for our subjects. That is a form of compassion. And we don’t kill children.

So why is she here? And why so scared? he asked.

His mother sighed and shook her head. We set her price very high, unreasonably so, even for who she is. But still they paid. That means they’ll probably use amateurs as well which could be much worse for her. We will protect her from those until she is adult. Not from what life might bring – and this client is very specific about where she is to be placed now – but from capture or torture or being killed slowly and painfully by some amateur.

She’s still scared now, he persisted.

Yes, his mother agreed. I was coming back to soothe her but you got here first. She has abilities far beyond what we expected and that caused problems with our plans. Before she leaves we will block her memories of her time here so this will just be a short forgotten period of fear.

She’s still a child. How can a contract on a child be right?

It isn’t about right or wrong, not for us. Remember, we are merely the tool. We never make the decision that someone should be killed. That decision is always made by our clients. All we can do is be the very best tool possible. She paused for a moment. And maybe, just maybe, things will change in the next few years and this contract will be rescinded. I hope so. I always hope that, for the children.

She ushered him out of the room, the moment of openness over. The next time his hospital duties took him that way the child was gone.

***

When the time came, he chose to leave the Assassins. They placed him in a foster family in a High House closely allied with the Great House of House Sabden. His memory of the child’s fear tipped his decision. Right or wrong, he couldn’t be a party to creating that sort of terror. But he soon forgot her in his new life. He was happy there, happier than he had expected and he quickly gave them his loyalty, considering his foster parents in the light of grandparents. He was welcomed and cared for and his foster family supported both his love of languages and his interest in medicine. When he had exhausted all that was offered by his new local school they encouraged him to go to college, which he did.

It was at college that he came across the Believers. He’d heard of them before that but had never paid them much attention. Now he was immersed in their beliefs and way of life and, captivated by something so different from his childhood culture, he embraced them whole heartedly. His faith grew steadily and he joined the monastic Order, revelling in the acceptance, the friendship, the sense of belonging to a family and the fresh start away from the secrets of his past.

Chapter 1

Late July – At Castle Tennant – Leonie

The Them loomed round me, arms outstretched, reaching for something. One of Them leaned over me to grab at Perry, sleeping peacefully beside me. No way, that was not happening. I was not going to let them touch Perry. I felt for the power, took hold...and it fizzled out.

No, I’m still me. Even without the power I’m still me. And I can deal with a bunch of the Them.

I rolled off the bed, using my body to knock their feet from under Them as I landed on the floor. They dissipated as I touched Them, reforming behind me. Light shone from one side of the room so I headed towards it, the Them following. The light led to a rocky ledge, revealing a ravine beyond. I’d need my Gifts to get me across that. The Them coalesced in front of me, into one large Them with a Shield that was stopping me accessing the power.

Easy.

I’d switched off Brin’s Shield; I could destroy this one. I twisted it until it blew up, grabbed the power and leapt through the fading Them.

The ground was soft beneath my feet as I landed. I risked a glance back over my shoulder. The giant Them had split up again into lots of little ones. I threw a blast of power at Them; it delayed Them only a moment. I had to lead them away but which way to go? A glow in the distance suggested fire. That would do, the Them hated fire and light. I sprinted that way. As I got closer, Katya appeared ahead of me.

Katya? But she’s dead. Who cares? This is a dream and Katya means safety.

I flung myself into her arms.

Hush, lia. All is well. I have you.

That wasn’t Katya’s voice. No, that was...Karina. My eyes flew open and I struggled to make sense of what I was seeing. Somehow I’d reached the Trader camp and Headwoman Karina was holding me close, Merchant Evan hovering nearby. I was in the centre, near the campfire and there was some sort of commotion happening over by the camp border which I ignored.

Is anyone trying to hurt you? Chase you? Merchant Evan asked, frowning. Anyone from the Great House? He turned, looking behind me, towards the camp border as if searching for some pursuer.

I shook my head. No, I whispered. Just a nightmare.

Come, sit, Karina said, wrapping a blanket round my shoulders and pushing me down onto a bench by the fire. Get warm again.

I tried to stand up. Perry, he’ll be worrying. I need to get to Perry.

The commotion at the camp border got louder, and Perry hurtled through, sliding to a stop on his knees in front of me. He cupped my face in his hands, staring into my eyes, his own eyes filled with concern. I couldn’t tell where you were, what had happened, he said. Are you hurt? Was it a nightmare?

Not hurt, I told him.

He sighed deeply and pulled me into his arms, cradling my head against his chest. I was so worried, he breathed.

He settled on the bench beside me, keeping his arms round me. Karina sat on my other side.

What happened? I asked. What did I do?

He shrugged. I don’t know. I don’t think you did anything. There seems to be something else going on, not just your nightmare.

Merchant Evan grinned and gestured to the camp border. I think we’re about to find out more, he said.

Brin came striding across the camp towards us and bowed before me. My deepest apologies, my Lady Leonie, he said formally. I regret that I was foolish enough to switch a Dampener Shield across the Castle tonight. I am so sorry for the trouble it caused you.

Idiot, Perry muttered under his breath before staring more closely at Brin. Was it actually you who did that? he asked. Or one of your squad?

Brin glanced towards him. It doesn’t matter whose finger was on the switch. It was still my responsibility. He turned back to me. Can you forgive me?

Memories of the nightmare came back to me. What actually happened to the Shield? I asked cautiously.

It blew up, said Brin. No one was hurt but there must have been a fault. We rarely use it but it is tested and serviced at night once a quarter. Inconveniently, that test fell tonight.

Um, Brin... I said. I don’t think there was a fault. In my nightmare I blew a Shield up.

His jaw dropped and he stared at me, open mouthed and silent.

That makes a lot of sense, said Perry. What I felt, the sensations, the inability to sense anyone. That would be the Shield giving way.

I tugged at Brin’s tunic to get his attention. Are you sure no one was hurt? I asked.

He closed his mouth and nodded. The physical explosion wasn’t very big, he said. And it’s pretty well protected anyway. We have very few adepts here. There are one or two with headaches, that’s all.

Perry winced. Talking of headaches... he said.

I turned back to him, concerned. Have you got one? I asked.

He nodded and winced again. A moment later a Trader girl appeared at his side with a beaker which she held out to him, mutely.

For the headache, Karina said.

Perry looked at the beaker, frowning dubiously.

Drink it, I told him.

With another quick glance at me he obeyed, then gave the beaker back to the girl with his thanks.

Brin grinned at me. Our service engineer is very pleased with you, he said. She’s been nagging us to replace that Shield for years. Says she’s just been nursing it along, and struggling to get parts.

Is it the same one from when I was last here? Perry asked. Or have you replaced it since then?

It’s the same one, Brin confessed.

Idiot, Perry said. That should have been replaced years ago. It was old even then. You were asking for trouble.

I know, Brin said. And I’m sorry. Am I forgiven?

I nodded. As long as I am, too. For the damage and the commotion.

Of course, he told me. Now, I think we should get you back.

He thanked Evan and Karina formally, and they both hugged me.

Take care, lia, Karina whispered in my ear. We are always here if you need us.

Chapter 2

Perry

Despite the disturbed night, Perry woke early, worrying about Leonie and the impact of the choices she – they – had to make. He slid out of bed and headed into the other room to try to deal with his worries. Leonie would wake soon enough and she’d need his support, not the burden of his problems too.

He tried to squash the negative feelings that were threatening to overwhelm him. Then it struck him that squashing his feelings was more like running away from them. If there was one thing he’d learnt from Leonie, it was that facing up to things was much better than running away, and never as bad as you thought it would be. Despite all the spiritual direction he’d received over the years, it was Leonie who always made him look at things with new eyes, with a different perspective.

He strode across the room, flinging the windows open and leaning out.

So, let’s haul this out into the open. What am I feeling and why?

He was quite certain that he wasn’t jealous of Leonie, not jealous that she could be High Lord of practically any House of her choosing. The High Lordship of House Tennant was his for the asking, and he didn’t want it. He could admit to himself that he’d do it if he had to but it would be duty not choice. He turned back into the room, pacing around like a caged lion.

Not jealousy then. No, I’m resentful.

He was definitely angry that his future path would again be determined by circumstances outside his control. His choice to be a doctor had caused so much pain, required so much hard work and he now found it so fulfilling. Then memories came back to haunt him. Months ago he’d told Andrew that he’d give it all up and take up the role as High Lord if it was the only way he could provide for Leonie. He’d meant it then, and he still did. If the choice was medicine or Leonie, she won, every time. In turn, that had to mean that his resentment and anger were matters of his own attitude. He flung himself down on the sofa.

What I’m really feeling is scared.

He was terrified of losing Leonie, not just to some Assassin, but to the demands made by the role of High Lord. In the short time they had been together, she had run from him – for reasons he fully understood – so many times, and all but died on him twice. Each time tore at him, cutting him to the heart, challenging his ability to function, to survive, almost to breathe. Leonie had lost so many people she loved; if she had felt like this each time... His admiration for her strength increased whenever he considered it. He couldn’t contemplate how he could function without her.

He took a deep breath and tried to return to his self-analysis. So, he was afraid, afraid of the unknown, and jealous, not of Leonie but of anything that might take her from him, that might usurp his place in her life. And both these, if he was honest, suggested that his trust in God, in his Lord and Saviour, was not all it should be. Only a few hours ago he’d quoted a verse to Leonie to help her. God knew the plans he had for both of them, plans to prosper them and not to harm them. He needed to trust in that himself, however hard the path ahead looked. He’d talked to Leonie about prayer, too. Honestly, perhaps sometimes he should listen to himself. He took his own advice and settled down to pray.

By the time their valet, Declan, knocked quietly on the outer door to their rooms, Perry was feeling very much calmer, more open to whatever God’s plan for their life was. He had resolved that, however he felt inside, his actions were going to be those of total support to Leonie as they worked out together what came next.

Declan had come to see whether they would prefer breakfast in their rooms today. Lord Neville sent me to ask, he said. He thought Leonie might need to sleep in a little, take things more easily, after last night.

Perry thought that an excellent idea. Declan returned so quickly with food that he must have had it all waiting practically outside the door. In the end, Leonie didn’t sleep that late, running from the bedroom to slide into Perry’s arms and onto his lap almost before he’d realised she was waking. She framed his face with her hands, looking up into his eyes with concern.

It’s okay, he said before she could speak. I’m fine. I was just awake.

I was worried, she confessed. All that’s happening. I don’t want it to hurt you. I couldn’t bear to think I’d done that to you.

He smiled wryly at that and pulled her close against him. I’ll be alright, he said into her hair. It’s not like before. Something you said made it clear to me; I don’t need everyone’s approval of what I do, just to do what God requires of me, of us.

She pulled back a little, searching his eyes and then nodded in acceptance. Relieved, he smiled and pointed out the food. I’m betting you’re hungry, he said.

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Leonie

What concerned me most was not hunger, but Perry himself. In the past, the expectations placed on him had led to a breakdown and ultimately to his joining the monastery. I was concerned that the pressures of life as a High Lord – or whatever I chose – would be too much for him. And this time it would be me who was putting those pressures on him. He’d tried to reassure me but, as I touched his mind, there was something I couldn’t quite identify, as if being alright was an intention rather than a current actuality.

I chose to believe him anyway; there was food and he was right, I was hungry.

Perry grinned at me while we were eating. I made you a promise yesterday, he said. Fancy going swimming after breakfast?

I nodded eagerly. Swimming always made me feel better no matter what was going on. As soon as I’d finished eating, I grabbed my costume – and Perry – and hurried down to the pool. I was ready first so I slid into the empty, still waters, closing my eyes and revelling in the waves lapping against my skin. I took a deep breath, ducked under the surface and swam as far as I could underwater, enjoying the sensation of being totally encompassed by it. When I came up for air, Perry was in the water too, leaning back against one side of the pool.

He smiled at me. Are you sure you’re not really a fish? he asked.

I splashed him and he came after me, in a whirlwind of water, splashes and laughter until he caught me.

We were still in the pool, swimming laps, when Lilyrose and Brin came to find us.

Brin squatted down by the edge of the pool and I looked up at him.

I am sorry about last night, I told him.

He smiled. I told you, don’t worry about it. I’ve managed to persuade Uncle Neville to fork out for a full set of new Shields and a few other goodies, so I’m very happy about it all.

Typical Brin, Perry called. "Always manages to come out on