Bearly Breathing: Bears of Southoak, #3

By Kayci Morgan

River:
When I was seventeen I made an unforgivable mistake.
My entire clan hates me even though I'm their alpha.
I was willing to live alone in the darkness until I saw him.
He is mine. Every fiber of my being tells me that.
The clan will object to their alpha being with both a human and a man.
I don't care. I will have what's mine.

Darius:
Everyone gets one great love. I've had mine.
She died.
Now all that's left for me is survival.
One day at a time. One breath at a time.
But why is it when I look at him I feel like I could love again?
I can't betray her memory...
But I also can't betray my heart.

This MM shifter romance can be read as a standalone.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kayci Morgan
• Release date: Mar 10, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393257233

Kayci Morgan

Kayci Morgan has had a passion for romance and fantasy for as long as she can remember. She lives in Chicago with her family. In her cozy apartment, she spends endless nights tapping away at her keyboard and playing computer games unheard of by normal people. Her English Literature degree serves as a superb coaster for her 20oz mug of coffee. Follow her sleep deprived ramblings at her website: http://www.kaycimorgan.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/kcmwriter Twitter: @kaycimorgan

Book preview

Chapter 1

When River was little and people asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, not understanding the question he'd answer very seriously, Loved. His birth mother threw him away like trash. Someone heard his cries from the dumpster and fished him out. In his first seven years of life, he lived in twelve different homes and had nine different names. So if anyone back then would have told him that one day he'd find himself alpha of the Ironshore clan he would have probably laughed himself to tears.

At yet here he was, sitting at the head of a table carved from a sycamore chopped down three centuries before he was born with elders on both sides, their gazes locked on him waiting for his next words.

No, he said flatly and the room erupted with groans of displeasure and arguments.

Colleen raised her hand and the room quieted down. She was a tall, thin woman who always seemed composed. Sometimes it was hard to remember she was a bear at all, especially considering in the seventeen years he'd lived in Ironshore he'd never seen her shift once. Why won't you consider our offer? You'd have enough money to easily start over somewhere else and it's quite obvious to everyone here you have no interest in being alpha.

River took a deep breath and closed his hazel eyes a moment before answering. They already thought he was a wild dog, he wouldn't help his case by becoming angry. If I surrender the role of alpha, I'll be banished, I can never have contact with a member of the clan again, including my adoptive parents.

Another elder piped up from the back. It's not like they are your real parents. You don't even call them mom and dad. Just take the money and leave. It's more than you deserve.

River’s claws dug into the wooden table as he tried his best not to shift. The elder seemed to realize he'd gone too far as he started to shrink in his chair.

What he means, Eli interjected, is that we've given this a shot. But the clan is stagnating and we need new leadership, new ideas. We understand that we are asking you to give up a lot, but five million dollars isn't a small sum, you could start over, find a place more...welcoming to your unique tastes...perhaps San Francisco? Eli had the same blond hair and beady eyes as his mother, Colleen. And while the rest of the clan was happy to pretend they weren't aware of River's 'proclivities', he took jabs at River's sexuality every chance he got.

The elders looked back and forth between each other nodding. As far as they were concerned Eli had come up with the perfect solution, if none of them could beat him in combat they'd just buy him out, like he was some sort of CEO rather than an alpha.

Maybe he should have left. After all, the only people that wanted him there were his adoptive parents and Kyra. He glanced at her for some idea of what to do. She leaned back in her chair with her arms folded and combat boots on the table. She wore her hair in the same two side buns she had since they were little kids, and with her big eyes and heart shaped face she looked like a living teddy bear. A very irritated living teddy bear. I don't understand why I'm even here. Do any of you really think I'd support this bullshit? River is alpha, if you have a problem with that, well, we have a system for handling it. Man up and fight him. She made her view on the subject quite clear.

Jeb, Kyra's father, spoke up. We need to consider the future of the clan. It's obvious to everyone at this point that River won't be taking a mate and producing an heir. He looked over at River with some combination of embarrassment and pity that made him miss plain old looks of hatred. You and Eli are from the most powerful families in the clan, if the two of you were to mate—

Kyra jumped up, knocking over her chair. You traded me like a broodmare? For power? That slimy sonofabitch isn't my mate and even if he does become alpha, if he orders me to his bed, I'll tear his throat out with my teeth. Without another word, she turned and stormed out.

River ran his fingers through his brown spiky hair and then stood up assuming he'd heard everything that needed to be said. I should probably go after her, he explained before rushing out of that nightmare of a meeting.

The meeting hall, like most of the cabins, was surrounded by forest. It was very hard to travel Ironshore lands without already being familiar with them. Just the way his clan liked it.

River followed Kyra who'd only walked out of hearing range before stopping to wait for him. Under a canopy of leaves, she snapped at him. How can you allow them to humiliate you like that?

He shrugged. What's the alternative? If he fought them, all he'd prove was that he was the unhinged animal they believed him to be. He made a huge mistake and instead of being punished, he became alpha. So for him, being alpha was his punishment. He couldn't blame them for wanting their revenge. They deserved it. But Ironshore was his home. There was nowhere else for him. He couldn't let it go no matter how much his clan hated him.

Kyra groaned in frustration. She knew he was right. Then she turned to him bright eyed, like she'd just had a brilliant idea. Mate with me.

A mixture of confusion, shock and sadness washed over River. What? You can't mean that. You know I'm not your mate and didn't you just object to being used like a broodmare?

She sighed. Yes. I get what I'm asking. But they are right about one thing; sooner or later, you're going to need an heir and who else is going to give you one? Plus, if I'm mated to you, then my father will have to be on your side instead of aligning himself with Colleen. That takes some of the pressure off, right?

River caressed her face as he stared into her eyes. He would have given just about anything to love her in that way, but they both knew he didn't. I can't. You know I can't.

Kyra stepped back and rolled her eyes. I don't care if you have to cum in a cup while thinking of Jason Momoa. This isn't the eighteen hundreds, we have ways other than sheer will now. Hell, we have turkey basters.

River laughed. She made it sound so easy. But mating with someone that wasn't your destined mate was a dangerous game. What happened if Kyra later found her mate? At that point River would have to kill him. He'd have little choice, his beast would be compelled to protect what was his. And could she really accept someone who destroyed her one chance at true happiness? She'd never forgive him. Claiming her would likely destroy her life and for what? To appease people who hated him? No. He wouldn't let her make that kind of sacrifice. I can't let you do that for me. You deserve so much better.

Her eyes narrowed. What makes you think I'm doing it for you? The clan has been declining ever since you...ever since we lost Liam. They don't trust you to lead and yet you are the alpha. You need the clan on your side. If you were to have a child from a 'prestigious family' they might accept your rule. There is so much that needs to be done and none of it can get done until we pull together.

Of course she was doing it for the clan, it was presumptuous of him to assume she'd throw away her entire life for his sake. If it's just about the politics, why not do what they want and mate with Eli?

She canted her head to the side. We both know that Eli is no Liam. If he becomes alpha, he will destroy this clan. He's vain and petty and the opposite of his brother in almost every way I can think of. She grabbed River by the front of his shirt. So you like dick, so what? Dick is great. You are a good, honorable man even though I know you don't believe it. I'm willing to support you in any way I can because I know you're what's best for this clan.

That wasn't true. Like she said earlier, the clan had been on a decline from the moment he took over. They were losing people, land and wealth. And back then, he could justify all his mistakes with just being young. After all, he became alpha at seventeen. But now he was twenty-five and the elders were literally pooling their money to pay him to go away. That's how desperate things had gotten, and every fiber of his being told him to go, but he just couldn't. For the simple fact that he had nowhere to go. The clan may have hated him, but they were all he had. So he clung to them, pathetic and desperate, like a fat bloated leech.

But it was kind of her to see him that way. Liam, the former alpha, was like that. He could see the potential in River when no one else could. When no one else was even interested in trying to. But look where that faith landed him... Sooner or later, the same thing would happen to Kyra. I understand your reasons but I can't use you in that way. I just can't. Never was there a person on the planet that deserved more. If the clan needed blood, Kyra would slit her own wrists and bleed for the sake of her people. River couldn't take advantage of that kind of loyalty.

Frustrated, she started to pace. Well if you won't do something to secure the future, how about the present?

What do you mean?

People are leaving to find work. But if you were to get a contract with Southoak again then Ironshore could once again prosper. If people were able to earn enough to live then maybe they'd stay, hell, maybe some would even come back.

It was a nice thought, but only one problem. The Southoak alpha wouldn't deal with River. Jaxon hates me. And for good reason.

Didn't you hear? He's not alpha anymore. It's some woman named Bailey now.

River had heard about the change in leadership. She's his mate. It was an interesting story.

She's her own person with her own mind. Schedule a meeting. Explain what happened and see if you can't talk her into signing a contract with us. If you were able to bring in an opportunity like that, I'm sure the elders would look on you with more kindness whether you give them an heir or not.

River nodded. It was a good plan. He just wished he'd thought of it himself. When he heard about the threeway mating all he could do was wonder if the men were sleeping with each other. Maybe he'd get a chance to find out on his visit. That would effectively mean two alpha males were mated to each other, which seemed unimaginable. Okay, I'll try to schedule a meeting with her.

After saying goodbye to Kyra, River headed home. The sun still sat high in the sky, meaning that even though the meeting had felt like an eternity, it was still early.

His cabin was about a mile south of the meeting hall. River was so accustomed to the journey he traveled quickly without much thought. Instead his thoughts were on Southoak and what he might find there. That was assuming that Kyra was right about Bailey and she’d agree to speak with him.

Uncle Bert stood in front of the cabin chopping firewood. River rushed over and took the ax from him. If you needed firewood, why didn’t you tell me?

His uncle crossed his arms