The Self Vows: Seven Vows That Will Change Your Life

By Dr. Michelle R. Hannah

This book is a part of the Self Vows program. The wonderful thing about this program is that even if you can’t complete the program face to face , private sessions or the retreats- you’ll still experience life changing results. Enjoy the book that echoes my face to face sessions and stories from others that have taken the self vows and some who didn’t.
If you need to learn how to have and support everything about yourself or others, if you need to learn how to stop looking in the rear view mirror and move forward, if you want to learn how to commit to yourself and others or how to have a healthy relationship with finances while working through and forgiving unhealthy financial choices- you must continue reading. If you have a desire for a love that connects to daily evolution, happiness, and freedom, commit to this book of love. Finally, you will learn and accept that you will never leave you. When you commit to self in that way, you will find it much easier to commit to another.
I give you ultimate transparency in this book. My desire is to connect to you through my journey, the journeys of others, and well-thought-out questions that will penetrate deep within if you allow them to. I commit to taking this journey with you. Every time you open this book, it symbolizes me showing up to guide you through a path that can be a most difficult one. On the other hand, it will be the most amazing journey you will ever experience. You are the most important priority because without your peace of mind, everything else is meaningless.
I have faith in you that, after reading this book, you will commit to the self vows as a daily inner compass as it relates to you being healthy, happy, healed, and consistently authentic. Don’t you think it’s time to change your life and reset all that doesn’t serve you? You can do it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Feb 26, 2020
• ISBN: 9781532094477

Dr. Michelle R. Hannah

Dr. Michelle R. Hannah recently earned a doctorate in spiritual counseling. She is a master relationship coach, motivational speaker, consultant, author, and entrepreneur. Hannah, trains others to be life coaches in a plethora of niches and owns Mikel Relationship and Health Coaching Academy. She lives in California and has a daughter.

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Copyright © 2018 Dr. Michelle R. Hannah.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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ISBN: 978-1-5320-9446-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-9447-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020902477

iUniverse rev. date: 05/22/2020

To all women I have coached and to those I have never

met, I give you the gift of The Self Vows.

I would like to extend a special dedication to every woman and man who took

a chance and trusted in the process of the Self Vows program. I love you!

CONTENTS

Foreword

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1   To Have and to Hold from This Day Forward

Chapter 2   Authenticity: The Freedom I Never Had!

Chapter 3   For Better, For Worse

Chapter 4   For Richer, for Poorer

Chapter 5   In Sickness and in Health

Chapter 6   To Love and to Cherish

Chapter 7   To Love and to Cherish through Intimacy

Chapter 8   Till Death Do I Part

Chapter 9   Taking the Self Vows: I’m All in Forever

About the Author

Bibliography

Endnotes

FOREWORD

I am an advanced certified colon hydrotherapist, instructor, and GPACT co–vice president. I have been a colon therapist for thirteen years. I have many certifications, and I am a certified instructor in massage, yoga, and Pilates.

My profession requires me to be able to relate to the public on a very compassionate level. To be of the highest service to my clients, I had to go within myself. I had to live the lifestyle of a cleansing professional. One thing I know about the body is that when you cleanse the internal atmosphere, it includes the emotional and spiritual beliefs that you hold true and dear. That being said, I noticed that behaviors from before I started cleansing began to disappear, and for the good. My relating to others improved, and my relationship with myself shifted greatly.

I speak from truth and experience and with an open heart to educate my clients before they even schedule an appointment with me. My goal is to awaken the educator-healer within each client, and doing so goes way beyond selling a service or product. I have to lead by example and be able to explain what I do on a very simple level. In order to do that, I have to love what I do and believe in my ability to do so.

In April 2018, I was able to purchase ten acres of land for my fortieth birthday. This year, for my forty-first birthday I purchased twenty additional acres and a home across the street from my first purchase with the goal of hosting a monthly Off-Grid Healing Retreat for Women of Color. I am the first woman in my family not only to own and operate a business completely on my own but also to host retreats on property that I own. Moving through this process has taught me that staying focused regardless of appearances and moving through it even when I am tired and have zero dollars in my account is very much worth it. I cannot explain enough how staying committed to the vows I created for myself held that sacred space for me to keep going.

I have been engaged two times, both—if I remember correctly—out of obligation or duty because at the time everyone was getting married. It was the thing to do during that period in my life. However, with both engagements I never made it to saying I do. In hindsight, I knew deep down that I was not ready to be a wife to a man who barely knew himself. And, truth be told, I very much did not know who I was or what I wanted to do, much less get married. Many of my friends recommended I do it anyway, saying he was a nice guy and we made a cute couple, but I knew marriage was more than those statements. Those same friends are now divorced, some twice.

The business of relating, for most people, does not become clear or understood until adulthood. Relating, or lack thereof, is a part of being that I see all too often in my business as a colon therapist. It shows up in my clients as constipation, confusion, and sometimes anger. Dr. Michelle R. Hannah and I often discuss that how we do one thing is how we do everything, including relating and relationships, until we break the cycle and start to live as our most authentic selves. But what does that look like? How does one get to that point? We regularly discuss what emotional constipation looks like, the importance of asking for what you need and want, as well as how self-care plays a huge role in successful relationships with others and the need to create healthy boundaries to maintain a level of inner peace. Ah … as two friends sit and talk about relationships, it all becomes clear.

Michelle has this beautiful way of guiding both men and women through the intricacies of our most inner desires to create this beautiful composition called love. On occasion, our dialogues have left me speechless because they have been that powerful and have moved me to act. Through our conversations, Michelle has opened my eyes to the fact that I can have a passion-filled and supportive relationship and a thriving business without sacrificing my basic needs.

Now in my forties, as I look back at my history of dating men and dialoging with Michelle, I have realized a couple of strong points about relationships:

• Relationships are mirrors of the deepest truth about self.

• Eventually, truth will always rise to the surface.

• There is no rush in understanding what I need, want, or desire.

• My emotions and feelings are valid, accurate, and true for me.

• I am the only one who can validate or approve my position within a relationship.

• Ultimately, the experience of being in a relationship is mine to create.

This book propels you to get clear about going there, which is diving deep into those parts that we neatly tuck away. However, it is only a matter of time before all that stuff you put to the side comes busting out of the seams and spilling over into your life. This book challenges you to ask yourself, When a woman is asked to become a wife, what does that really mean? When a man decides that he is ready to provide as a husband, what does that shift look like for him? These are questions I continue to ask myself on a deeper level, because what I know for sure is that there is nothing higher on the planet than a man and woman who have made the commitment to ride this wave of life together. Balance is the key to living an amazing life, and we are created to become that perfect balance together. However, the fulfillment of this right does not come from the other person; it comes from you. Michelle has created the perfect clarity and foundation to get you to this vulnerable yet powerful position.

As you can see, creating a loving and supportive connection between a man and a woman starts with loving and supporting yourself, creating healthy boundaries, and becoming clear about what works for you and what does not. Doing so has not only helped me to work through my relationship woes, but it has also allowed me to transfer the same energy into my business and relate to other men in my life, such as my son, my family members, and my clients. Working through my past experiences has helped me see the baggage I was dragging from previous relationships into my current ones, and it gave me the tools to break up the negative so that a positive shift could happen. These are the points of Michelle’s books, looking at our not-so-pleasant stuff so that the same energy is not dragged into our relationships and does not become the foundation upon which future relationships are built.

Michelle’s consistency and drive to be present with couples and singles creates the perfect environment to go deep and unearth the gunk that we often get stuck in. This is where the work happens, this is where the shift happens, and this is where the simplicity and practice of caring for your heart space is learned. If this step is overlooked, creating and being part of a loving relationship may not evolve in the way you would like, and the foundation you thought you had may crumble.

Michelle has thought this whole piece out. She has been there, sat in her frustration and understanding about her relationships, and done the work. The key phrase here is the work. Thus, she created the Self Vows program. This first book takes you on an emotional, spiritual, and physical trip of accountability on how you are participating in love, life, and commitment to self. What I know for sure is that we have all the answers to our questions; it only requires that we get still and listen. Michelle’s book guides you in doing just that. It requires you to go within, dig deep, feel the stuff you’ve tucked away, unpack it, look at it, and see it. It challenges you to have the tough conversations with yourself before you ever consider having them with another. The truth is my clients need to take the self vows along with taking care of their physical health. It is all connected.

Begin this journey with an open heart and open mind. Love yourself first throughout this entire process. If you need to pause, pause. If you need to talk, reach out to someone. Breathe through this and trust that you have everything you need to be happy and to be in a relationship that reflects this. Embrace this book, embrace your healing, embrace everything about where you are at the present moment, and embrace the lessons and tough conversations that this book will challenge you to have. Most of all, embrace the love that comes from the personal stories, me, and Dr. Michelle R. Hannah. She is giving you this amazing gift, The Self Vows: Seven Vows That Will Change Your Life. Enjoy!

Monisha Denise Garner

PREFACE

After working twenty years in corporate America in the capacity of an assistant dean, a coach and trainer for personal development, a manager of strategic partnerships, a public speaker, and a master relationship coach, I have found that the common denominator among all people is the need to understand and connect more deeply in our relationships. Whether it’s conflict resolution, team collaboration, personal or behavioral development, CEO or CFO challenges with time management, or fear of speaking to an audience, at the foundation of every problem are people’s struggles in their personal relationships and their lack of tools to connect to others. With that said, I realized that I not only had a unique way of introducing and navigating people through tough conversations, but I was also able to connect people back to themselves and significant others back to each other.

The baby that I’ve been waiting to birth is the Self Vows program, which was ushered into existence after many couples started to enroll in my original program, the Vows. I developed the Self Vows program in 2018. The program answers many questions about the relationship with self and provides many options for how to uncover the truth, how to live authentically, and, ultimately, how to fall in love with yourself no matter the challenges. In case you’re not familiar with the Vows program, allow me to introduce you. It is a ten-week program that takes couples through traditional wedding vows in a unique and intimate way. I started the Vows program specifically for couples to work through together. It took me months to tweak the questions, tips, and exercises. My clients were instrumental in assisting me with identifying and perfecting the questions that had the greatest impact, deepened their connections, and ultimately freed them to be honest with one another so that they could live happy and fulfilled lives.

The Vows program challenges members of a couple to question whether they truly support and accept themselves where they are so that they can accept their mates where they are and know how to support the people they say they love. They face the tough conversations about finances; after all, they are vowing for richer, for poorer. Couples figure out what for better, for worse means for their relationships and truly come to understand what it means to love