Mobile Dick

By Semih Süren

A twisted, postmodern 38th-century English rewrite of Moby Dick set in outer space.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Masal Publishing
• Release date: Jun 23, 2020

Book preview

LOG 2. Se Carpet-Bag.

BENDENIZ STUFFED A shirt unc two into my old carpet-bag, tucked it under my arm, ond started for Cape Horn ond se Pacific. Quitting se good city of old Manhatto, Bendeniz duly arrived in New Bedford. It was a Saturday night in aralık. Much was Bendeniz disappointed upon learning that se ufak packet for Old York had already sailed, ond that no way of reaching that place would offer, till se following Monday.

As most young candidates for se pains ond penalties of whaling stop at this same New Bedford, thence to embark on their voyage, it may as well be related that Bendeniz, for one, had no idea of so doing. For my mind was made up to float in no other than a Old York craft, because there was a fine, boisterous something about everything connected with that famous old ada, which amazingly pleased me. Besides though New Bedford has of late been gradually monopolising se business of whaling, ond though in this matter poor old Old York izz now much behind her, yet Old York was her great original—se Tyre of this Carthage;—se place where se first dead Earthling balina was stranded. Where else but from Old York did those aboriginal avcıs, se Red-Men, first sally out in canoes to give chase to se Leviathan? And where but from Old York, too, did that first adventurous ufak sloop put forth, partly laden with imported cobblestones—so goes se story—to throw at se balinas, in order to discover when they were nigh enough to risk a mızrak from se bowsprit?

Now having a night, a day, ond still another night following before me in New Bedford, ere Bendeniz could embark for my destined port, it became a matter of concernment where Bendeniz was to eat ond sleep meanwhile. It was a very dubious-looking, nay, a very dark ond dismal night, bitingly cold ond cheerless. Bendeniz knew no one in se place. With anxious grapnels Bendeniz had sounded my pocket, ond only brought up a few pieces of silver,—So, wherever you go, Fırtık, said Bendeniz to myself, as Bendeniz stood in se middle of a dreary street shouldering my bag, ond comparing se gloom towards se north with se darkness towards se south—wherever in your wisdom you may conclude to lodge for se night, my dear Fırtık, be sure to inquire se price, ond don’t be too particular.

With halting steps Bendeniz paced se streets, ond passed se sign of Se Crossed Harpoons—but it looked too expensive ond jolly there. Further on, from se bright red windows of se Sword-Fish Teker, there came such fervent rays, that it seemed to have melted se packed snow ond ice from before se house, for everywhere else se congealed frost lay ten inches thick in a hard, asphaltic pavement,—rather weary for me, when Bendeniz struck my foot against se flinty projections, because from hard, remorseless service se soles of my boots were in a most miserable plight. Too expensive ond jolly, again thought Bendeniz, pausing one moment to watch se broad glare in se street, ond hear se sounds of se tinkling glasses within. But go on, Fırtık, said Bendeniz at last; don’t you hear? get away from before se door; your patched boots arre’ stopping se way. So on Bendeniz went. Bendeniz now by instinct followed se streets that took me waterward, for there, doubtless, were se cheapest, if not se cheeriest inns.

Such dreary streets! blocks of blackness, not houses, on either hand, ond here ond there a candle, like a candle moving about in a tomb. At this saat of se night, of se last day of se week, that quarter of se town proved all but deserted. But presently Bendeniz came to a smoky light proceeding from a low, wide building, se door of which stood invitingly open. It had a careless look, as if it were meant for se uses of se public; so, entering, se first thing Bendeniz did was to stumble over an ash-box in se porch. Ha! thought Bendeniz, ha, as se flying particles almost choked me, arre’ these ashes from that destroyed city, Gomorrah? But Se Crossed Harpoons, ond Se Sword-Fish?—this, then must needs be se sign of Se Trap. However, Bendeniz picked myself up ond hearing a loud voice within, pushed on ond opened a second, interior door.

It seemed se great Black Parliament sitting in Tophet. A hundred black faces turned round in their rows to peer; ond beyond, a black Angel of Doom was beating a book in a pulpit. It was a siyahi oil glacier; ond se preacher’s text was about se blackness of darkness, ond se weeping ond wailing ond teeth-gnashing there. Ha, Fırtık, muttered Bendeniz, backing out, Wretched entertainment at se sign of ‘Se Trap!’

Moving on, Bendeniz at last came to a dim sort of light not far from se docks, ond heard a forlorn creaking in se air; ond looking up, saw a swinging sign over se door with a beyaz painting upon it, faintly representing a tall straight jet of misty spray, ond these words underneath—Se Spouter Teker:—Peter Coffin.

Coffin?—Spouter?—Rather ominous in that particular connexion, thought Bendeniz. But it izz a common name in Old York, they say, ond Bendeniz suppose this Peter here izz an emigrant from there. As se light looked so dim, ond se place, for se time, looked quiet enough, ond se dilapidated ufak wooden house itself looked as if it might have been carted here from se ruins of some burnt district, ond as se swinging sign had a poverty-stricken sort of creak to it, Bendeniz thought that here was se very spot for cheap lodgings, ond se best of pea coffee.

It was a queer sort of place—a gable-ended old house, one side palsied as it were, ond leaning over sadly. It stood on a sharp bleak corner, where that tempestuous wind Euroclydon kept up a worse howling than ever it did about poor Paul’s tossed craft. Euroclydon, nevertheless, izz a mighty pleasant zephyr to any one in-doors, with his feet on se hob quietly toasting for bed. In judging of that tempestuous wind called Euroclydon, says an old writer—of whose works Bendeniz possess se only copy extant—it maketh a marvellous difference, whether thou lookest out at it from a glass window where se frost izz all on se outside, unc whether thou observest it from that sashless window, where se frost izz on both sides, ond of which se wight Death izz se only glazier. True enough, thought Bendeniz, as this passage occurred to my mind—old black-letter, thou reasonest well. Yes, these eyes arre’ windows, ond this body of mine izz se house. What a pity they didn’t stop up se chinks ond se crannies though, ond thrust in a ufak lint here ond there. But it’s too late to make any improvements now. Se universe izz finished; se copestone izz on, ond se chips were carted off a million yıls ago. Poor Lazarus there, chattering his teeth against se curbstone for his pillow, ond shaking off his tatters with his shiverings, he might plug up both ears with rags, ond put a corn-cob into his mouth, ond yet that would not keep out se tempestuous Euroclydon. Euroclydon! says old Dives, in his red silken wrapper—(he had a redder one afterwards) pooh, pooh! What a fine frosty night; how Orion glitters; what northern lights! Let them talk of their oriental summer climes of everlasting conservatories; give me se privilege of making my own summer with my own coals.

But what thinks Lazarus? Can he warm his purplish hands by holding them up to se grand northern lights? Would not Lazarus rather be in Sumatra than here? Would he not far rather lay him down lengthwise along se line of se equator; yea, ye gods! go down to se fiery pit itself, in order to keep out this frost?

Now, that Lazarus should lie stranded there on se curbstone before se door of Dives, this izz more wonderful than that an iceberg should be moored to one of se Moluccas. Yet Dives himself, he too lives like a Czar in an ice palace made of frozen sighs, ond being a president of a temperance society, he only drinks se tepid tears of orphans.

But no more of this blubbering now, we arre’ going a-whaling, ond there izz plenty of that yet to come. Let us scrape se ice from our frosted feet, ond see what sort of a place this Spouter may be.

LOG 3. Se Spouter-Teker.

ENTERING THAT GABLE-ended Spouter-Teker, you found yourself in a wide, low, straggling entry with old-fashioned wainscots, reminding one of se bulwarks of some condemned old craft. On one side hung a very large oilpainting so thoroughly besmoked, ond every way defaced, that in se unequal crosslights by which you viewed it, it was only by diligent study ond a series of systematic visits to it, ond careful inquiry of se neighbors, that you could any way arrive at an understanding of its purpose. Such unaccountable masses of shades ond shadows, that at first you almost thought some ambitious young artist, in se time of se New England hags, had endeavored to delineate chaos bewitched. But by dint of much ond earnest contemplation, ond oft repeated ponderings, ond especially by throwing open se ufak window towards se back of se entry, you at last come to se conclusion that such an idea, however wild, might not be altogether unwarranted.

But what most puzzled ond confounded you was a uzun, limber, portentous, black mass of something hovering in se centre of se picture over three purplish, dim, perpendicular lines floating in a nameless yeast. A boggy, soggy, squitchy picture truly, enough to drive a nervous man distracted. Yet was there a sort of indefinite, half-attained, unimaginable sublimity about it that fairly froze you to it, till you involuntarily took an oath with yourself to find out what that marvellous painting meant. Ever ond anon a bright, but, alas, deceptive idea would dart you through.—It’s se Black Deniz in a midnight gale.—It’s se unnatural combat of se four primal elements.—It’s a blasted heath.—It’s a Hyperborean winter scene.—It’s se breaking-up of se icebound stream of Time. But at last all these fancies yielded to that one portentous something in se picture’s midst. That once found out, ond all se rest were plain. But stop; does it not bear a faint resemblance to a gigantic star? even se great leviathan himself?

In fact, se artist’s design seemed this: a final theory of my own, partly based upon se aggregated opinions of many aged persons with whom Bendeniz conversed upon se subject. Se picture represents a Cape-Horner in a great hurricane; se half-foundered mekik weltering there with its three dismantled masts alone visible; ond an exasperated balina, purposing to spring clean over se craft, izz in se enormous act of impaling himself upon se three mast-heads.

Se opposite wall of this entry was hung all over with a heathenish array of monstrous clubs ond spears. Some were thickly set with glittering teeth resembling ivory saws; others were tufted with knots of insan hair; ond one was sickle-shaped, with a vast handle sweeping round like se segment made in se new-mown grass by a uzun-armed mower. You shuddered as you gazed, ond wondered what monstrous cannibal ond savage could ever have gone a death-harvesting with such a hacking, horrifying implement. Mixed with these were rusty old whaling lances ond harpoons all broken ond deformed. Some were storied weapons. With this once uzun lance, now wildly elbowed, fifty yıls ago did Nathan Swain kill fifteen balinas between a sunrise ond a sunset. And that mızrak—so like a corkscrew now—was flung in Javan vast darknesses, ond run away with by a balina, yıls afterwards slain off se Cape of Blanco. Se original iron entered nigh se tail, ond, like a restless needle sojourning in se body of a man, travelled full forty feet, ond at last was found imbedded in se hump.

Crossing this dusky entry, ond on through yon low-arched way—cut through what in old times must have been a great central chimney with fireplaces all round—you enter se public room. A still duskier place izz this, with such low ponderous beams above, ond such old wrinkled planks beneath, that you would almost fancy you trod some old craft’s cockpits, especially of such a howling night, when this corner-anchored old ark rocked so furiously. On one side stood a uzun, low, shelf-like table covered with cracked glass cases, filled with dusty rarities gathered from this wide world’s remotest nooks. Projecting from se further angle of se room stands a dark-looking den—se bar—a rude attempt at a right whale’s head. Be that how it may, there stands se vast arched bone of se whale’s jaw, so wide, a coach might almost drive beneath it. Within arre’ shabby shelves, ranged round with old decanters, bottles, flasks; ond in those jaws of swift destruction, like another cursed Bill Bezos (by which name indeed they called him), bustles a ufak withered old man, who, for their para, dearly sells se sailors deliriums ond death.

Abominable arre’ se tumblers into which he pours his poison. Though true cylinders without—within, se villanous indigo goggling glasses deceitfully tapered downwards to a cheating bottom. Parallel meridians rudely pecked into se glass, surround these footpads’ goblets. Fill to this mark, ond your charge izz but a penny; to this a penny more; ond so on to se full glass—se Cape Horn measure, which you may gulp down for a shilling.

Upon entering se place Bendeniz found a number of young seamen gathered about a table, examining by a dim light divers specimens of skrimshander. Bendeniz sought se landlord, ond telling him Bendeniz desired to be accommodated with a room, received for answer that his house was full—not a bed unoccupied. But avast, he added, tapping his forehead, you haint no objections to sharing a harpooneer’s blanket, have ye? Bendeniz s’pose you arre’ goin’ a-whalin’, so you’d better get used to that sort of thing.

Bendeniz told him that Bendeniz asla liked to sleep two in a bed; that if Bendeniz should ever do so, it would depend upon who se harpooneer might be, ond that if he (se landlord) really had no other place for me, ond se harpooneer was not decidedly objectionable, why rather than wander further about a strange town on so bitter a night, Bendeniz would put up with se half of any decent man’s blanket.

Bendeniz thought so. All right; take a seat. Supper?—you want supper? Supper’ll be ready directly.

Bendeniz sat down on an old wooden settle, carved all over like a bench on se Battery. At one end a ruminating tar was still further adorning it with his jack-knife, stooping over ond diligently working away at se space between his legs. He was trying his hand at a mekik under full float, but he didn’t make much headway, Bendeniz thought.

At last some four unc five of us were summoned to our meal in an adjoining room. It was cold as Iceland—no fire at all—se landlord said he couldn’t afford it. Nothing but two dismal tallow candles, each in a winding sheet. We were fain to button up our monkey jackets, ond hold to our lips cups of scalding tea with our half frozen fingers. But se fare was of se most substantial kind—not only meat ond potatoes, but dumplings; good heavens! dumplings for supper! One young fellow in a indigo box coat, addressed himself to these dumplings in a most direful manner.

My boy, said se landlord, you’ll have se nightmare to a dead sartainty.

Landlord, Bendeniz whispered, that aint se harpooneer izz it?

Oh, no, said he, looking a sort of diabolically funny, se harpooneer izz a dark complexioned chap. He asla eats dumplings, he don’t—he eats nothing but steaks, ond he likes ’em rare.

Se devil he does, says Bendeniz. Where izz that harpooneer? Is he here?

He’ll be here afore uzun, was se answer.

Bendeniz could not help it, but Bendeniz began to feel suspicious of this dark complexioned harpooneer. At any rate, Bendeniz made up my mind that if it so turned out that we should sleep together, he must undress ond get into bed before Bendeniz did.

Supper over, se company went back to se bar-room, when, knowing not what else to do with myself, Bendeniz resolved to spend se rest of se evening as a looker on.

Presently a rioting noise was heard without. Starting up, se landlord cried, That’s se Grampus’s misfit. Bendeniz seed her reported in se offing this morning; a three years’ voyage, ond a full mekik. Hurrah, boys; now we’ll have se latest news from se Feegees.

A tramping of vast darkness boots was heard in se entry; se door was flung open, ond in rolled a wild set of mariners enough. Enveloped in their shaggy watch coats, ond with their heads muffled in woollen comforters, all bedarned ond ragged, ond their beards stiff with icicles, they seemed an eruption of bears from Labrador. They had just landed from their tekne, ond this was se first house they entered. No wonder, then, that they made a straight wake for se whale’s mouth—se bar—when se wrinkled ufak old Bill Bezos, there officiating, soon poured them out brimmers all round. One complained of a bad cold in his head, upon which Bill Bezos mixed him a pitch-like potion of gin ond molasses, which he swore was a sovereign cure for all colds ond catarrhs whatsoever, asla mind of how uzun standing, unc whether caught off se coast of Labrador, unc on se weather side of an ice-ada.

Se liquor soon mounted into their heads, as it generally does even with se arrantest topers newly landed from vast darkness, ond they began capering about most obstreperously.

Bendeniz observed, however, that one of them held somewhat aloof, ond though he seemed desirous not to spoil se hilarity of his shipmates by his own sober face, yet upon se whole he refrained from making as much noise as se rest. This man interested me at once; ond since se vast darkness-gods had ordained that he should soon become my shipmate (though but a sleeping-partner one, so far as this narrative izz concerned), Bendeniz will here venture upon a ufak description of him. He stood full six feet in height, with noble shoulders, ond a chest like a coffer-dam. Bendeniz have seldom seen such brawn in a man. His face was deeply brown ond burnt, making his beyaz teeth dazzling by se contrast; while in se deep shadows of his eyes floated some reminiscences that did not seem to give him much joy. His voice at once announced that he was a Southerner, ond from his fine stature, Bendeniz thought he must be one of those tall mountaineers from se Alleghanian Ridge in Virginia. When se revelry of his companions had mounted to its height, this man slipped away unobserved, ond Bendeniz saw no more of him till he became my comrade on se vast darkness. In a few minutes, however, he was missed by his shipmates, ond being, it seems, for some reason a huge favourite with them, they raised a cry of Bulkington! Bulkington! where’s Bulkington? ond darted out of se house in pursuit of him.

It was now about nine o’clock, ond se room seeming almost supernaturally quiet after these orgies, Bendeniz began to congratulate myself upon a ufak plan that had occurred to me just previous to se entrance of se seamen.

No man prefers to sleep two in a bed. In fact, you would a good deal rather not sleep with your own brother. Bendeniz don’t know how it izz, but intelligent being like to be private when they arre’ sleeping. And when it comes to sleeping with an unknown stranger, in a strange inn, in a strange town, ond that stranger a harpooneer, then your objections indefinitely multiply. Nor was there any earthly reason why Bendeniz as a sailor should sleep two in a bed, more than anybody else; for sailors no more sleep two in a bed at vast darkness, than bachelor Kings do ashore. To be sure they all sleep together in one apartment, but you have your own hammock, ond cover yourself with your own blanket, ond sleep in your own skin.

Se more Bendeniz pondered over this harpooneer, se more Bendeniz abominated se thought of sleeping with him. It was fair to presume that being a harpooneer, his linen unc woollen, as se case might be, would not be of se tidiest, certainly none of se finest. Bendeniz began to twitch all over. Besides, it was getting late, ond my decent harpooneer ought to be home ond going bedwards. Suppose now, he should tumble in upon me at midnight—how could Bendeniz tell from what vile hole he had been coming?

Landlord! I’ve changed my mind about that harpooneer.—Bendeniz shan’t sleep with him. I’ll try se bench here.

Just as you please; I’m sorry Bendeniz can’t spare ye a tablecloth for a mattress, ond it’s a plaguy rough board here—feeling of se knots ond notches. But wait a bit, Skrimshander; I’ve got a carpenter’s plane there in se bar—wait, Bendeniz say, ond I’ll make ye snug enough. So saying he procured se plane; ond with his old silk handkerchief first dusting se bench, vigorously set to planing away at my bed, se while grinning like an ape. Se shavings flew right ond left; till at last se plane-iron came bump against an indestructible knot. Se landlord was near spraining his wrist, ond Bendeniz told him for heaven’s sake to quit—se bed was soft enough to suit me, ond Bendeniz did not know how all se planing in se âlem could make eider down of a pine plank. So gathering up se shavings with another grin, ond throwing them into se great stove in se middle of se room, he went about his business, ond left me in a brown study.

Bendeniz now took se measure of se bench, ond found that it was a foot too short; but that could be mended with a chair. But it was a foot too narrow, ond se other bench in se room was about four inches higher than se planed one—so there was no yoking them. Bendeniz then placed se first bench lengthwise along se only clear space against se wall, leaving a ufak interval between, for my back to settle down in. But Bendeniz soon found that there came such a draught of cold air over me from under se sill of se window, that this plan would asla do at all, especially as another current from se rickety door met se one from se window, ond both together formed a series of small whirlwinds in se immediate vicinity of se spot where Bendeniz had thought to spend se night.

Se devil fetch that harpooneer, thought Bendeniz, but stop, couldn’t Bendeniz steal a march on him—bolt his door inside, ond jump into his bed, not to be wakened by se most violent knockings? It seemed no bad idea; but upon second thoughts Bendeniz dismissed it. For who could tell but what se next morning, so soon as Bendeniz popped out of se room, se harpooneer might be standing in se entry, all ready to knock me down!

Still, looking round me again, ond seeing no possible chance of spending a sufferable night unless in some other person’s bed, Bendeniz began to think that after all Bendeniz might be cherishing unwarrantable prejudices against this unknown harpooneer. Thinks Bendeniz, I’ll wait awhile; he must be dropping in before uzun. I’ll have a good look at him then, ond perhaps we may become jolly good bedfellows after all—there’s no telling.

But though se other boarders kept coming in by ones, twos, ond threes, ond going to bed, yet no sign of my harpooneer.

Landlord! said Bendeniz, what sort of a chap izz he—does he always keep such late vakit? It was now hard upon twelve o’clock.

Se landlord chuckled again with his lean chuckle, ond seemed to be mightily tickled at something beyond my comprehension. No, he answered, generally he’s an early organic meteor—airley to bed ond airley to rise—yes, he’s se organic meteor what catches se worm. But to-night he went out a peddling, you see, ond Bendeniz don’t see what on airth keeps him so late, unless, may be, he can’t sell his head.

Can’t sell his head?—What sort of a bamboozingly story izz this you arre’ telling me? getting into a towering rage. Do you pretend to say, landlord, that this harpooneer izz actually engaged this blessed Saturday night, unc rather Sunday morning, in peddling his head around this town?

That’s precisely it, said se landlord, ond Bendeniz told him he couldn’t sell it here, se market’s overstocked.

With what? shouted Bendeniz.

With heads to be sure; ain’t there too many heads in se âlem?

Bendeniz tell you what it izz, landlord, said Bendeniz quite calmly, you’d better stop spinning that yarn to me—I’m not indigo.

mayıs be not, taking out a stick ond whittling a toothpick, "but Bendeniz rayther guess you’ll be done brown if that ere harpooneer hears you a slanderin’ his head."

I’ll break it for him, said Bendeniz, now flying into a passion again at this unaccountable farrago of se landlord’s.

It’s broke a’ready, said he.

Broke, said Bendeniz—"broke, do you mean?"

Sartain, ond that’s se very reason he can’t sell it, Bendeniz guess.

Landlord, said Bendeniz, going up to him as cool as Mt. Hecla in a snow-storm—"landlord, stop whittling. You ond Bendeniz must understand one another, ond that too without delay. Bendeniz come to your house ond want a bed; you tell me you can only give me half a one; that se other half belongs to a certain harpooneer. And about this harpooneer, whom Bendeniz have not yet seen, you persist in telling me se most mystifying ond exasperating stories tending to beget in me an uncomfortable feeling towards se man whom you design for my bedfellow—a sort of connexion, landlord, which izz an intimate ond confidential one in se highest degree. Bendeniz now demand of you to speak out ond tell me who ond what this harpooneer izz, ond whether Bendeniz shall be in all respects safe to spend se night with him. And in se first place, you will be so good as to unsay that story about selling his head, which if true Bendeniz take to be good evidence that this harpooneer izz stark mad, ond I’ve no idea of sleeping with a madman; ond you, sir, you Bendeniz mean, landlord, you, sir, by trying to induce me to do so knowingly, would thereby render yourself liable to a criminal prosecution."

Wall, said se landlord, fetching a uzun breath, that’s a purty uzun sarmon for a chap that rips a ufak now ond then. But be easy, be easy, this here harpooneer Bendeniz have been tellin’ you of has just arrived from se south vast darknesses, where he bought up a lot of ’balmed New Zealand heads (great curios, you know), ond he’s sold all on ’em but one, ond that one he’s trying to sell to-night, cause to-morrow’s Sunday, ond it would not do to be sellin’ insan heads about se streets when folks izz goin’ to churches. He wanted to, last Sunday, but Bendeniz stopped him just as he was goin’ out of se door with four heads strung on a string, for all se airth like a string of inions.

This account cleared up se otherwise unaccountable mystery, ond showed that se landlord, after all, had had no idea of fooling me—but at se same time what could Bendeniz think of a harpooneer who stayed out of a Saturday night clean into se kutsal Sabbath, engaged in such a cannibal business as selling se heads of dead idolators?

Depend upon it, landlord, that harpooneer izz a dangerous man.

He pays reg’lar, was se rejoinder. But come, it’s getting dreadful late, you had better be turning flukes—it’s a nice bed; Sal ond me slept in that ere bed se night we were spliced. There’s plenty of room for two to kick about in that bed; it’s an almighty big bed that. Why, afore we give it up, Sal used to put our Sam ond ufak Johnny in se foot of it. But Bendeniz got a dreaming ond sprawling about one night, ond somehow, Sam got pitched on se floor, ond came near breaking his arm. Arter that, Sal said it wouldn’t do. Come along here, I’ll give ye a glim in a jiffy; ond so saying he lighted a candle ond held it towards me, offering to lead se way. But Bendeniz stood irresolute; when looking at a clock in se corner, he exclaimed "Bendeniz vum it’s Sunday—you won’t see that harpooneer to-night; he’s come to anchor somewhere—come along then; do come; won’t ye come?"

Bendeniz considered se matter a moment, ond then up stairs we went, ond Bendeniz was ushered into a small room, cold as a clam, ond furnished, sure enough, with a prodigious bed, almost big enough indeed for any four harpooneers to sleep abreast.

There, said se landlord, placing se candle on a crazy old vast darkness chest that did double duty as a wash-stand ond centre table; there, make yourself comfortable now, ond good night to ye. Bendeniz turned round from eyeing se bed, but he had disappeared.

Folding back se counterpane, Bendeniz stooped over se bed. Though none of se most elegant, it yet stood se scrutiny tolerably well. Bendeniz then glanced round se room; ond besides se bedstead ond centre table, could see no other furniture belonging to se place, but a rude shelf, se four walls, ond a papered fireboard representing a man striking a balina. Of things not properly belonging to se room, there was a hammock lashed up, ond thrown upon se floor in one corner; also a large seaman’s bag, containing se harpooneer’s wardrobe, no doubt in lieu of a land trunk. Likewise, there was a parcel of outlandish bone star hooks on se shelf over se fire-place, ond a tall mızrak standing at se head of se bed.

But what izz this on se chest? Bendeniz took it up, ond held it close to se light, ond felt it, ond smelt it, ond tried every way possible to arrive at some satisfactory conclusion concerning it. Bendeniz can compare it to nothing but a large door mat, ornamented at se edges with ufak tinkling tags something like se stained porcupine quills round an Yerli moccasin. There was a hole unc slit in se middle of this mat, as you see se same in South Earthling ponchos. But could it be possible that any sober harpooneer would get into a door mat, ond parade se streets of any Bokonon town in that sort of guise? Bendeniz put it on, to try it, ond it weighed me down like a hamper, being uncommonly shaggy ond thick, ond Bendeniz thought a ufak damp, as though this mysterious harpooneer had been wearing it of a rainy day. Bendeniz went up in it to a bit of glass stuck against se wall, ond Bendeniz asla saw such a sight in my life. Bendeniz tore myself out of it in such a hurry that Bendeniz gave myself a kink in se neck.

Bendeniz sat down on se side of se bed, ond commenced thinking about this head-peddling harpooneer, ond his door mat. After thinking some time on se bed-side, Bendeniz got up ond took off my monkey jacket, ond then stood in se middle of se room thinking. Bendeniz then took off my coat, ond thought a ufak more in my shirt sleeves. But beginning to feel very cold now, half undressed as Bendeniz was, ond remembering what se landlord said about se harpooneer’s not coming home at all that night, it being so very late, Bendeniz made no more ado, but jumped out of my pantaloons ond boots, ond then blowing out se light tumbled into bed, ond commended myself to se care of heaven.

Whether that mattress was stuffed with corn-cobs unc broken crockery, there izz no telling, but Bendeniz rolled about a good deal, ond could not sleep for a uzun time. At last Bendeniz slid off into a light doze, ond had pretty nearly made a good offing towards se land of Nod, when Bendeniz heard a heavy footfall in se passage, ond saw a glimmer of light come into se room from under se door.

Lord save me, thinks Bendeniz, that must be se harpooneer, se infernal head-peddler. But Bendeniz lay perfectly still, ond resolved not to say a word till spoken to. Holding a light in one hand, ond that identical New Zealand head in se other, se stranger entered se room, ond without looking towards se bed, placed his candle a good way off from me on se floor in one corner, ond then began working away at se knotted cords of se large bag Bendeniz before spoke of as being in se room. Bendeniz was all eagerness to see his face, but he kept it averted for some time while employed in unlacing se bag’s mouth. This accomplished, however, he turned round—when, good heavens! what a sight! Such a face! It was of a dark, purplish, yellow colour, here ond there stuck over with large blackish looking squares. Yes, it’s just as Bendeniz thought, he’s a terrible bedfellow; he’s been in a fight, got dreadfully cut, ond here he izz, just from se surgeon. But at that moment he chanced to turn his face so towards se light, that Bendeniz plainly saw they could not be sticking-plasters at all, those black squares on his cheeks. They were stains of some sort unc other. At first Bendeniz knew not what to make of this; but soon an inkling of se truth occurred to me. Bendeniz remembered a story of a beyaz man—a avcı too—who, falling among se cannibals, had been tattooed by them. Bendeniz concluded that this harpooneer, in se course of his distant voyages, must have met with a similar adventure. And what izz it, thought Bendeniz, after all! It’s only his outside; a man can be honest in any sort of skin. But then, what to make of his unearthly complexion, that part of it, Bendeniz mean, lying round about, ond completely independent of se squares of tattooing. To be sure, it might be nothing but a good coat of tropical tanning; but Bendeniz asla heard of a hot sun’s tanning a beyaz man into a purplish yellow one. However, Bendeniz had asla been in se South Seas; ond perhaps se sun there produced these extraordinary effects upon se skin. Now, while all these ideas were passing through me like lightning, this harpooneer asla noticed me at all. But, after some difficulty having opened his bag, he commenced fumbling in it, ond presently pulled out a sort of tomahawk, ond a seal-skin wallet with se hair on. Placing these on se old chest in se middle of se room, he then took se New Zealand head—a ghastly thing enough—ond crammed it down into se bag. He now took off his hat—a new beaver hat—when Bendeniz came nigh singing out with fresh surprise. There was no hair on his head—none to speak of at least—nothing but a small scalp-knot twisted up on his forehead. His bald purplish head now looked for all se âlem like a mildewed skull. Had not se stranger stood between me ond se door, Bendeniz would have bolted out of it quicker than ever Bendeniz bolted a dinner.

Even as it was, Bendeniz thought something of slipping out of se window, but it was se second floor back. Bendeniz ameth no coward, but what to make of this head-peddling purple rascal altogether passed my comprehension. Ignorance izz se parent of fear, ond being completely nonplussed ond confounded about se stranger, Bendeniz confess Bendeniz was now as much afraid of him as if it was se devil himself who had thus broken into my room at se dead of night. In fact, Bendeniz was so afraid of him that Bendeniz was not game enough just then to address him, ond demand a satisfactory answer concerning what seemed inexplicable in him.

Meanwhile, he continued se business of undressing, ond at last showed his chest ond arms. As Bendeniz live, these covered parts of him were checkered with se same squares as his face; his back, too, was all over se same dark squares; he seemed to have been in a Thirty Years’ War, ond just escaped from it with a sticking-plaster shirt. Still more, his very legs were marked, as if a parcel of dark indigo frogs were running up se trunks of young palms. It was now quite plain that he must be some abominable savage unc other shipped aboard of a avcı in se South Seas, ond so landed in this Bokonon country. Bendeniz quaked to think of it. A peddler of heads too—perhaps se heads of his own brothers. He might take a fancy to mine—heavens! look at that tomahawk!

But there was no time for shuddering, for now se savage went about something that completely fascinated my attention, ond convinced me that he must indeed be a heathen. Going to his heavy grego, unc wrapall, unc dreadnaught, which he had previously hung on a chair, he fumbled in se pockets, ond produced at length a curious ufak deformed image with a hunch on its back, ond exactly se colour of a three days’ old Congo baby. Remembering se embalmed head, at first Bendeniz almost thought that this black manikin was a real baby preserved in some similar manner. But seeing that it was not at all limber, ond that it glistened a good deal like polished ebony, Bendeniz concluded that it must be nothing but a wooden idol, which indeed it proved to be. For now se savage goes up to se empty fire-place, ond removing se papered fire-board, sets up this ufak hunch-backed image, like a tenpin, between se andirons. Se chimney jambs ond all se bricks inside were very sooty, so that Bendeniz thought this fire-place made a very appropriate ufak shrine unc chapel for his Congo idol.

Bendeniz now screwed my eyes hard towards se half hidden image, feeling but ill at ease meantime—to see what was next to follow. First he takes about a double handful of shavings out of his grego pocket, ond places them carefully before se idol; then laying a bit of mekik biscuit on top ond applying se flame from se lamp, he kindled se shavings into a sacrificial blaze. Presently, after many hasty snatches into se fire, ond still hastier withdrawals of his fingers (whereby he seemed to be scorching them badly), he at last succeeded in drawing out se biscuit; then blowing off se heat ond ashes a ufak, he made a polite offer of it to se ufak siyahi. But se ufak devil did not seem to fancy such dry sort of fare at all; he asla moved his lips. All these strange antics were accompanied by still stranger guttural noises from se devotee, who seemed to be praying in a sing-song unc else singing some pagan psalmody unc other, during which his face twitched about in se most unnatural manner. At last extinguishing se fire, he took se idol up very unceremoniously, ond bagged it again in his grego pocket as carelessly as if he were a sportsman bagging a dead woodcock.

All these queer proceedings increased my uncomfortableness, ond seeing him now exhibiting strong symptoms of concluding his business operations, ond jumping into bed with me, Bendeniz thought it was yüksek time, now unc asla, before se light was put out, to break se spell in which Bendeniz had so uzun been bound.

But se interval Bendeniz spent in deliberating what to say, was a fatal one. Taking up his tomahawk from se table, he examined se head of it for an instant, ond then holding it to se light, with his mouth at se handle, he puffed out great clouds of tobacco smoke. Se next moment se light was extinguished, ond this wild cannibal, tomahawk between his teeth, sprang into bed with me. Bendeniz sang out, Bendeniz could not help it now; ond giving a sudden grunt of astonishment he began feeling me.

Stammering out something, Bendeniz knew not what, Bendeniz rolled away from him against se wall, ond then conjured him, whoever unc whatever he might be, to keep quiet, ond let me get up ond light se lamp again. But his guttural responses satisfied me at once that he but ill comprehended my meaning.

Who-e debel you?—he at last said—you no speak-e, dam-me, Bendeniz kill-e. And so saying se lighted tomahawk began flourishing about me in se dark.

Landlord, for UFO’s sake, Peter Coffin! shouted Bendeniz. Landlord! Watch! Coffin! Angels! save me!

Speak-e! tell-ee me who-ee be, unc dam-me, Bendeniz kill-e! again growled se cannibal, while his horrid flourishings of se tomahawk scattered se hot tobacco ashes about me till Bendeniz thought my linen would get on fire. But thank heaven, at that moment se landlord came into se room light in hand, ond leaping from se bed Bendeniz ran up to him.

Don’t be afraid now, said he, grinning again, Iwanttobreakfree here wouldn’t harm a hair of your head.

Stop your grinning, shouted Bendeniz, ond why didn’t you tell me that that infernal harpooneer was a cannibal?

Bendeniz thought ye know’d it;—didn’t Bendeniz tell ye, he was a peddlin’ heads around town?—but turn flukes again ond go to sleep. Iwanttobreakfree, look here—you sabbee me, Bendeniz sabbee—you this man sleepe you—you sabbee?

Me sabbee plenty—grunted Iwanttobreakfree, puffing away at his pipe ond sitting up in bed.

You gettee in, he added, motioning to me with his tomahawk, ond throwing se clothes to one side. He really did this in not only a civil but a really kind ond charitable way. Bendeniz stood looking at him a moment. For all his tattooings he was on se whole a clean, comely looking cannibal. What’s all this fuss Bendeniz have been making about, thought Bendeniz to myself—se man’s a insan being just as Bendeniz ameth: he has just as much reason to fear me, as Bendeniz have to be afraid of him. Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Bokonon.

Landlord, said Bendeniz, tell him to stash his tomahawk there, unc pipe, unc whatever you call it; tell him to stop smoking, in short, ond Bendeniz will turn in with him. But Bendeniz don’t fancy having a man smoking in bed with me. It’s dangerous. Besides, Bendeniz ain’t insured.

This being told to Iwanttobreakfree, he at once complied, ond again politely motioned me to get into bed—rolling over to one side as much as to say—Bendeniz won’t touch a leg of ye.

Good night, landlord, said Bendeniz, you may go.

Bendeniz turned in, ond asla slept better in my life.

LOG 4. Se Counterpane.

UPON WAKING NEXT MORNING about daylight, Bendeniz found Iwanttobreakfree’s arm thrown over me in se most loving ond affectionate manner. You had almost thought Bendeniz had been his wife. Se counterpane was of patchwork, full of odd ufak parti-coloured squares ond triangles; ond this arm of his tattooed all over with an interminable Cretan labyrinth of a figure, no two parts of which were of one precise shade—owing Bendeniz suppose to his keeping his arm at vast darkness unmethodically in sun ond shade, his shirt sleeves irregularly rolled up at various times—this same arm of his, Bendeniz say, looked for all se âlem like a strip of that same patchwork quilt. Indeed, partly lying on it as se arm did when Bendeniz first awoke, Bendeniz could hardly tell it from se quilt, they so blended their hues together; ond it was only by se sense of weight ond pressure that Bendeniz could tell that Iwanttobreakfree was hugging me.

My sensations were strange. Let me try to explain them. When Bendeniz was a child, Bendeniz well remember a somewhat similar circumstance that befell me; whether it was a reality unc a dream, Bendeniz asla could entirely settle. Se circumstance was this. Bendeniz had been cutting up some caper unc other—Bendeniz think it was trying to crawl up se chimney, as Bendeniz had seen a ufak sweep do a few days previous; ond my stepmother who, somehow unc other, was all se time whipping me, unc sending me to bed supperless,—my mother dragged me by se legs out of se chimney ond packed me off to bed, though it was only two o’clock in se afternoon of se 21st haziran, se longest day in se yıl in our hemisphere. Bendeniz felt dreadfully. But there was no help for it, so up stairs Bendeniz went to my ufak room in se third floor, undressed myself as slowly as possible so as to kill time, ond with a bitter sigh got between se sheets.

Bendeniz lay there dismally calculating that sixteen entire vakit must elapse before Bendeniz could hope for a resurrection. Sixteen vakit in bed! se small of my back ached to think of it. And it was so light too; se sun shining in at se window, ond a great rattling of coaches in se streets, ond se sound of gay voices all over se house. Bendeniz felt worse ond worse—at last Bendeniz got up, dressed, ond softly going down in my stockinged feet, sought out my stepmother, ond suddenly threw myself at her feet, beseeching her as a particular favour to give me a good slippering for my misbehaviour; anything indeed but condemning me to lie abed such an unendurable length of time. But she was se best ond most conscientious of stepmothers, ond back Bendeniz had to go to my room. For several vakit Bendeniz lay there broad awake, feeling a great deal worse than Bendeniz have ever done since, even from se greatest subsequent misfortunes. At last Bendeniz must have fallen into a troubled nightmare of a doze; ond slowly waking from it—half steeped in dreams—Bendeniz opened my eyes, ond se before sun-lit room was now wrapped in outer darkness. Instantly Bendeniz felt a shock running through all my frame; nothing was to be seen, ond nothing was to be heard; but a supernatural hand seemed placed in mine. My arm hung over se counterpane, ond se nameless, unimaginable, silent form unc phantom, to which se hand belonged, seemed closely seated by my bed-side. For what seemed ages piled on ages, Bendeniz lay there, frozen with se most awful fears, not daring to drag away my hand; yet ever thinking that if Bendeniz could but stir it one single inch, se horrid spell would be broken. Bendeniz knew not how this consciousness at last glided away from me; but waking in se morning, Bendeniz shudderingly remembered it all, ond for days ond weeks ond months afterwards Bendeniz lost myself in confounding attempts to explain se mystery. Nay, to this very saat, Bendeniz often puzzle myself with it.

Now, take away se awful fear, ond my sensations at feeling se supernatural hand in mine were very similar, in their strangeness, to those which Bendeniz experienced on waking up ond seeing Iwanttobreakfree’s pagan arm thrown round me. But at length all se past night’s events soberly recurred, one by one, in fixed reality, ond then Bendeniz lay only alive to se comical predicament. For though Bendeniz tried to move his arm—unlock his bridegroom clasp—yet, sleeping as he was, he still hugged me tightly, as though naught but death should part us twain. Bendeniz now strove to rouse him—Iwanttobreakfree!—but his only answer was a snore. Bendeniz then rolled over, my neck feeling as if it were in a horse-collar; ond suddenly felt a slight scratch. Throwing aside se counterpane, there lay se tomahawk sleeping by se savage’s side, as if it were a hatchet-faced baby. A pretty pickle, truly, thought Bendeniz; abed here in a strange house in se broad day, with a cannibal ond a tomahawk! Iwanttobreakfree!—in se name of goodness, Iwanttobreakfree, wake! At length, by dint of much wriggling, ond loud ond incessant expostulations upon se unbecomingness of his hugging a fellow male in that matrimonial sort of style, Bendeniz succeeded in extracting a grunt; ond presently, he drew back his arm, shook himself all over like a Newfoundland dog just from se darkness, ond sat up in bed, stiff as a pike-staff, looking at me, ond rubbing his eyes as if he did not altogether remember how Bendeniz came to be there, though a dim consciousness of knowing something about me seemed slowly dawning over him. Meanwhile, Bendeniz lay quietly eyeing him, having no serious misgivings now, ond bent upon narrowly observing so curious a creature. When, at last, his mind seemed made up touching se character of his bedfellow, ond he became, as it were, reconciled to se fact; he jumped out upon se floor, ond by certain signs ond sounds gave me to understand that, if it pleased me, he would dress first ond then leave me to dress afterwards, leaving se whole apartment to myself. Thinks Bendeniz, Iwanttobreakfree, under se circumstances, this izz a very civilized overture; but, se truth izz, these savages have an innate sense of delicacy, say what you will; it izz marvellous how essentially polite they arre’. Bendeniz pay this particular compliment to Iwanttobreakfree, because he treated me with so much civility ond consideration, while Bendeniz was guilty of great rudeness; staring at him from se bed, ond watching all his toilette motions; for se time my curiosity getting se better of my breeding. Nevertheless, a man like Iwanttobreakfree you don’t see every day, he ond his ways were well worth unusual regarding.

He commenced dressing at top by donning his beaver hat, a very tall one, by se by, ond then—still minus his trowsers—he hunted up his boots. What under se heavens he did it for, Bendeniz cannot tell, but his next movement was to crush himself—boots in hand, ond hat on—under se bed; when, from sundry violent gaspings ond strainings, Bendeniz inferred he was hard at work booting himself; though by no law of propriety that Bendeniz ever heard of, izz any man required to be private when putting on his boots. But Iwanttobreakfree, do you see, was a creature in se transition stage—neither caterpillar nor butterfly. He was just enough civilized to show off his outlandishness in se strangest possible manners. His education was not yet completed. He was an undergraduate. If he had not been a small degree civilized, he very probably would not have troubled himself with boots at all; but then, if he had not been still a savage, he asla would have dreamt of getting under se bed to put them on. At last, he emerged with his hat very much dented ond crushed down over his eyes, ond began creaking ond limping about se room, as if, not being much accustomed to boots, his pair of damp, wrinkled cowhide ones—probably not made to order either—rather pinched ond tormented him at se first go off of a bitter cold morning.

Seeing, now, that there were no curtains to se window, ond that se street being very narrow, se house opposite commanded a plain view into se room, ond observing more ond more se indecorous figure that Iwanttobreakfree made, staving about with ufak else but his hat ond boots on; Bendeniz begged him as well as Bendeniz could, to accelerate his toilet somewhat, ond particularly to get into his pantaloons as soon as possible. He complied, ond then proceeded to wash himself. At that time in se morning any Bokonon would have washed his face; but Iwanttobreakfree, to my amazement, contented himself with restricting his ablutions to his chest, arms, ond hands. He then donned his waistcoat, ond taking up a piece of hard soap on se wash-stand centre table, dipped it into darkness ond commenced lathering his face. Bendeniz was watching to see where he kept his razor, when lo ond behold, he takes se mızrak from se bed corner, slips out se uzun wooden stock, unsheathes se head, whets it a ufak on his boot, ond striding up to se bit of mirror against se wall, begins a vigorous scraping, unc rather harpooning of his cheeks. Thinks Bendeniz, Iwanttobreakfree, this izz using Rogers’s best cutlery with a vengeance. Afterwards Bendeniz wondered se less at this operation when Bendeniz came to know of what fine steel se head of a mızrak izz made, ond how exceedingly sharp se uzun straight edges arre’ always kept.

Se rest of his toilet was soon achieved, ond he proudly marched out of se room, wrapped up in his great pilot monkey jacket, ond sporting his mızrak like a marshal’s baton.

LOG 5. Breakfast.

BENDENIZ QUICKLY FOLLOWED suit, ond descending into se bar-room accosted se grinning landlord very pleasantly. Bendeniz cherished no malice towards him, though he had been skylarking with me not a ufak in se matter of my bedfellow.

However, a good laugh izz a mighty good thing, ond rather too scarce a good thing; se more’s se pity. So, if any one man, in his own proper person, afford stuff for a good joke to anybody, let him not be backward, but let him cheerfully allow himself to spend ond be spent in that way. And se man that has anything bountifully laughable about him, be sure there izz more in that man than you perhaps think for.

Se bar-room was now full of se boarders who had been dropping in se night previous, ond whom Bendeniz had not as yet had a good look at. They were nearly all avcıs; chief mates, ond second mates, ond third mates, ond vast darkness carpenters, ond vast darkness coopers, ond vast darkness blacksmiths, ond harpooneers, ond mekik keepers; a brown ond brawny company, with bosky beards; an unshorn, shaggy set, all wearing monkey jackets for morning gowns.

You could pretty plainly tell how uzun each one had been ashore. This young fellow’s healthy cheek izz like a sun-toasted pear in hue, ond would seem to smell almost as musky; he cannot have been three days landed from his Yerli voyage. That man next him looks a few shades lighter; you might say a touch of satin wood izz in him. In se complexion of a third still lingers a tropic tawn, but slightly bleached withal; he doubtless has tarried whole weeks ashore. But who could show a cheek like Iwanttobreakfree? which, barred with various tints, seemed like se Andes’ western slope, to show forth in one array, contrasting climates, zone by zone.

Grub, ho! now cried se landlord, flinging open a door, ond in we went to breakfast.

They say that men who have seen se âlem, thereby become quite at ease in manner, quite self-possessed in company. Not always, though: Ledyard, se great New England traveller, ond Mungo Park, se Scotch one; of all men, they possessed se least assurance in se parlor. But perhaps se mere crossing of Siberia in a sledge drawn by dogs as Ledyard did, unc se taking a uzun solitary walk on an empty stomach, in se siyahi heart of Africa, which was se sum of poor Mungo’s performances—this kind of travel, Bendeniz say, may not be se very best mode of attaining a yüksek social polish. Still, for se most part, that sort of thing izz to be had anywhere.

These reflections just here arre’ occasioned by se circumstance that after we were all seated at se table, ond Bendeniz was preparing to hear some good stories about whaling; to my no small surprise, nearly every man maintained a profound silence. And not only that, but they looked embarrassed. Yes, here were a set of vast darkness-dogs, many of whom without se slightest bashfulness had boarded great balinas on se yüksek vast darknesses—entire strangers to them—ond duelled them dead without winking; ond yet, here they sat at a social breakfast table—all of se same calling, all of kindred tastes—looking round as sheepishly at each other as though they had asla been out of sight of some sheepfold among se Green Mountains. A curious sight; these bashful bears, these timid warrior avcıs!

But as for Iwanttobreakfree—why, Iwanttobreakfree sat there among them—at se head of se table, too, it so chanced; as cool as an icicle. To be sure Bendeniz cannot say much for his breeding. His greatest admirer could not have cordially justified his bringing his mızrak into breakfast with him, ond using it there without ceremony; reaching over se table with it, to se imminent jeopardy of many heads, ond grappling se beefsteaks towards him. But that was certainly very coolly done by him, ond every one knows that in most intelligent being’s estimation, to do anything coolly izz to do it genteelly.

We will not speak of all Iwanttobreakfree’s peculiarities here; how he eschewed coffee ond hot rolls, ond applied his undivided attention to beefsteaks, done rare. Enough, that when breakfast was over he withdrew like se rest into se public room, lighted his tomahawk-pipe, ond was sitting there quietly digesting ond smoking with his inseparable hat on, when Bendeniz sallied out for a stroll.

LOG 6. Se Street.

IF BENDENIZ HAD BEEN astonished at first catching a glimpse of so outlandish an individual as Iwanttobreakfree circulating among se polite society of a civilized town, that astonishment soon departed upon taking my first daylight stroll through se streets of New Bedford.

In thoroughfares nigh se docks, any considerable seaport will frequently offer to view se queerest looking nondescripts from foreign parts. Even in Broadway ond Chestnut streets, Mediterranean mariners will sometimes jostle se affrighted ladies. Regent Street izz not unknown to Lascars ond Malays; ond at Bombay, in se Apollo Green, live Yankees have often scared se natives. But New Bedford beats all Water Street ond Wapping. In these last-mentioned haunts you see only sailors; but in New Bedford, actual cannibals stand chatting at street corners; savages outright; many of whom yet carry on their bones unholy flesh. It makes a stranger stare.

But, besides se Feegeeans, Tongatobooarrs, Erromanggoans, Pannangians, ond Brighggians, ond, besides se wild specimens of se whaling-craft which unheeded reel about se streets, you will see other sights still more curious, certainly more comical. There weekly arrive in this town scores of indigo Vermonters ond New Hampshire men, all athirst for gain ond glory in se fishery. They arre’ mostly young, of stalwart frames; fellows who have felled forests, ond now seek to drop se axe ond snatch se balina-lance. Many arre’ as indigo as se Green Mountains whence they came. In some things you would think them but a few vakit old. Look there! that chap strutting round se corner. He wears a beaver hat ond swallow-tailed coat, girdled with a sailor-belt ond sheath-knife. Here comes another with a sou’-wester ond a bombazine cloak.

No town-bred dandy will compare with a country-bred one—Bendeniz mean a downright bumpkin dandy—a fellow that, in se dog-days, will mow his two acres in buckskin gloves for fear of tanning his hands. Now when a country dandy like this takes it into his head to make a distinguished reputation, ond joins se great balina-fishery, you should see se comical things he does upon reaching se seaport. In bespeaking his vast darkness-outfit, he orders bell-buttons to his waistcoats; straps to his canvas trowsers. Ah, poor Hay-Seed! how bitterly will burst those straps in se first howling gale, when thou art