Dear Archie

By Aria Blake

Death is not the end; it's just the beginning of an unwanted turn in the journey of life. '

 

Elle, a twenty seven year old veterinarian from a small town in Texas, lost the love of her life almost a year ago. Death has changed her, making all her beliefs in fairytales, karma and happy endings turn to dust. She's become a lone wolf, trapped in her morbidly twisted mind, her only solace writing to her late husband.

 

She needed an escape, not from the world, but from herself. Thus, she sets off on an adventure to Iceland, mostly because the trip was non-refundable, but deep down she knew that this trip could give her some sort of peace.

 

Unfortunately for her, this adventure would be one that changes her more than death ever did.

 

Starting with an opinionated, quirky man called Grayson.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Aria Blake
• Release date: Jul 31, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393591795

Book preview

1.Metanoia. (n)

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Dear Archie

Death is inevitable, unavoidable and unstoppable. Though these things might be a painstaking truth, my mind will never escape the labyrinth of questions, solutions and probabilities of what may be.

My solutions are that of science fiction, my probabilities that of an insane person and my questions so vast that it would make a philosopher quiver in their wake, yet they make sense to me. 

It’s almost been a year without you. It's strange, I sometimes still smell you on the pillows. You'd probably lose your composure with the state of the house. It’s mirroring my mind at all times, messy, dark...sad. I didn't want to move everything that you last touched. Your shoes are the only exception. You never did learn to move them out of the doorway. Jax is sleeping on the bed with me, all 65 pounds of him. He misses you, you know? He's up with me late at night, pacing. I feel like I'm always walking through this empty house for some reason. Maybe I'm still hoping you'd pop around the corner and surprise me, or maybe I'm searching for myself.

I'm lost Arch. I lost my job already, Pops is looking after me. Cindy is like a second shadow now, always near. Don't worry, my crazy sister hasn't moved in, although she's asked numerous times.

They say when you lose your soulmate that you'd eventually die from loneliness and heartache. Does this mean that I'll see you soon?

I know, I know- you'd probably want me to move on, live a happy life, yadda-yadda.

Newsflash Arch, I just can't. I see you everywhere, hear your laughter in the living room, see you burning some food for us.

God, I feel like my heart is ripped out and I can only idly stand by and watch myself bleed dry.

I should probably stop moping around.

Today I leave. We booked a vacation to Iceland, remember? Well it's non-refundable, and seeing as you we're excited about this stupid trip, I'll go. Maybe Pops is right, maybe I need this trip.

Two weeks! What were we thinking?! I'll write to you every day, like I always do. Ask your ghost supervisor if you could maybe write back sometimes? Fucking corporate underworld.

I love you Arch.

Forever and beyond that.

Elle

With a sigh I closed my journal. I was about to wipe away my tears, but Jax beat me to it when his tongue stoked over my face giving me slobbering kisses.

Jax, stop. You’re being weird again. I giggled as his assault continued.

He only tilted his head giving me a look as if to say Says the person talking to a dog.

In my defense, who else am I supposed to talk to? It’s either you or ghosts. You should be glad that I write to the ghost, imagine the bad street cred you'd get for having a crazy owner who talks freely to things that are not there? I said, gaining me a whine from Jax.

Thought so. Now, come on, I should get packing. I muttered as I climbed off the bed.

We spent the next hour or so running around the house, trying to get everything I needed for the trip. Jax was easy to pack for as he only had like one bag that I needed to hand over to Cindy as soon as she got here. I on the other hand had a damn monstrosity of a suitcase and was now sitting on top of it, trying to zip it close.

A knock on the door stopped my low swearing. Coming! I shouted as I hopped up and down on the suitcase hoping that it would somehow make the thing easier to close, but my attempts were futile.

I opened the door and a high pitched voice bombarded me with questions. Have yah packed? Did yah call Daddy? Did yah make sure your car has enough oil and water? Cindy went on and on as she strolled passed me with her own bag. Her platinum bob bouncing with each step. For a sister, she could be pretty annoying.

Cindy, everything is ready. Now will you just calm your ass down. I said as I stepped back towards my own suitcase. Sitting down on it, I looked at Cindy . Will you help me close this god-forsaken bag or are you just gonna stand there?

Cindy walked to me as she said; Well no wonder yah can't close this thing! You're so skinny that I bet yah can't even see your own shadow! Now move over, Elle. Let me give it a try.

With Cindy now bumping her butt on my suitcase, I finally got the darn thing closed. I have never appreciated your butt as much as right now! I exclaim as I bring the suitcase upright on its wheels.

Thanks, I got it from my mamma. Cindy said, wiggling her eyebrows.

We have the same mamma, Cind. I roll my eyes as I grab my jacket from the coat rack, wanting to suddenly escape the house because I know if I stay any longer her interrogation will begin.  Okay, so Jax takes a walk every day, his food is in the laundry room under the... My words were cut short as I saw tears steep out of Cindy's moss green eyes.

Cind? What's with the waterworks? I asked as I moved closer to her.

It's been so long, yet it feels like yesterday. Cindy's words caused another crack in my already shattered heart. I knew she was talking about him, her next words will be about how she worries about me or my health.

You should go, this vacation will do you good. Maybe you'll even pick up a few pounds. She said.

Called it.

Cind, honestly I'm fine. Tell mamma and daddy to stop with their constant worrying. I'm almost twenty-eight. I ain't a little girl anymore.

But, you'll always be their little girl, Elle. No matter how many times you try and act like you're fine, you forget that I've known you my whole life and I can tell when my little sister is anything but okay. She said as she hugged me.

I was silenced. This happened a lot, where someone said something and I had no idea how to reply. Like, when people told me they were so sorry for my husband's passing, how do I reply to something like that when they have no need to apologize in the first place?

It's human nature I guess, to apologize when something horrific happens, even when it's not your fault. It's also human to stare and whisper, it's human to be sad for someone you don't even know on a personal level. Humans are strange when it comes to emotions.

Okay, I really need to go. Check-in time ends at eight and I don't want to sleep in the airport hotel. I whisper as I try to wiggle free from my sister's death grip. Reluctantly she let me go and walked with me to the door.

As I reversed out of the driveway, Cindy shouted all the things you'd expect with someone going away. Take pictures and eat at every place you see! Go live a little, Elle! Don't forget to check in with us every day! Love you!

Cindy will probably call me every half hour until I’m safely on the plane, she’d probably find a way to contact me mid-flight if she could. What she didn’t know is that as soon as I reach the airport I’ll be switching my phone off. This trip was probably needed, if anything I just hope I could clear the mess that my head has become.

It’s like Archie has become a part of me, like he somehow merged with my soul. He never leaves my mind. Some may say this is unhealthy, but I need him with me, without him I’d probably go insane. It’s a painful comfort having random, made-up conversations with your dead husband. Like now, I feel him with me in the car.

Okay, so the whole point of this trip is for me to try and break free. I whispered.

You know that a simple trip ain’t gonna fix that, flower. Archie's voice echoes in my mind.

He’s right, but at this stage I would try anything just to get some silence. Archie’s voice in my head isn’t the problem. My own voice is. The questions, the what-if’s, the scenarios...I need to shut myself up and I’m hoping that this trip could do just that.

You left me too soon, Arch. I croaked as I got closer to the airport. As always, the feeling of Archie would leave me when I got teary-eyed. It’s like he didn’t want to be with me when the going got rough. Asshole.

Time flew by as I got checked in and boarded the flight. As I looked for my seat through the many rows, one voice stood out.

Well you see, if Tinker-bell could do it, I can’t see why you can’t do it. A man said as he kneeled down talking to a frightened little girl. Her nose scrunched up as a look of newfound determination flashed across her chubby cheeks.

I found my seat next to the window and turned my attention to the busy workers outside as they loaded the plane. My thoughts went to how each of them would go home to their different families. I wondered if some had children, if some had loved-ones in the hospital or if some went back to an empty house where the only company is the memories that haunt the hallway in the form of picture frames.

Maybe they had a big family filled with laughter, or maybe they would go home to mourn another day. Would they have enough to eat? Would they walk into a brightly lit home or would they return in cold and darkness? I found myself thinking about others a lot, trying to figure them out from a distance. Sometimes I would catch myself mourning for their metaphorical losses, or laugh with their make-belief joy. The one thing I learned through all this was that...

Hi. A voice said next to me. It was the same man that talked to the little girl before, encouraging her with a beautiful fairytale. He was tall and bulky with tattoo’s plastering both his arms. His blond hair looked purposefully messed up and his green eyes held a shimmering curtain over the darkness that laid deep within them. He gave me a dashing smile, showing a row of straight stark-white teeth.

Where I’m from, it’s considered rude to stare, but I’ll let it slide. He whispered.

Sorry, I was in thought. Hello. I said, giving him a small smile as I turned my attention back to the workers outside.

What I was going to say was...

So, what are you thinking about, thinker? The man asked.

I turned my head to him and replied, Where I’m from, it’s considered rude to pry, but I’ll let it slide. His eyes grew slightly at my tone.

I was thinking about the fact that no matter what, you’ll never know what someone is going through at first glance. Humans have become great mimics. We hide so much behind pretenses and smiles, then wonder why we cry alone.

I thought that the statement would make him shut-up. People tend to refrain from any emotional conversations with strangers. I turned my attention back to the window, but I could still feel his eyes on me.

Well I did say that I thought it would shut him up.

I disagree. He uttered as he strapped his seatbelt on.

And why is that, Mr-I-can't-leave-strangers-alone? I asked, arching my eyebrow at him.

Because humans are easy to read if you know what you're looking for. He explained.

And that would be?

See it like a book. Each person you see is a book, the lines on their faces indicate the rough hand that has handled them. Some of them might have a cracked spine, ripped pages, a coffee spill or two. Maybe you see it differently, but once you get the hang of it, it’s quite easy. He said, just as the flight attendant got us ready for the flight.

Mr. Nosy-know-it-all, was quiet for about an hour. When the first meal was presented, I couldn’t take it