Sweet Suzie's Sensational Foodies: Featuring a story about Titanic and the recipe that will go on and on...

By Kelly Armann

“Sweet Suzie’s Sensational Foodies” is an easy-to-read collection of delicious dishes and creative cocktails, from all corners of the world. Vibrant photographs of these tasty dishes will have your mouth watering! In this book, you will find step-by-step instructions to each dish and a clever back story for Kelly’s favorite recipes. This is much more than your “average” cookbook. Kelly’s wit and love for food, will draw you in and have you running for the kitchen to try your hand at her fabulous creations. While reading this book, you will laugh, cry, and crave! An absolute must have for all seasoned cooks, housewife chefs, and beginners alike! -Cheyenne Garcia

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Nov 13, 2020
• ISBN: 9781644620908

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Sweet Suzie’s Sensational Foodies

Kelly Armann

Copyright © 2019 Kelly Armann

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING, INC.

New York, NY

First originally published by Page Publishing, Inc. 2019

ISBN 978-1-64462-086-1 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64462-090-8 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Hey, you, the person who just picked up this cookbook, I welcome you. Come on in, sit down a spell, wipe your feet, and prepare yourself for a tasty treat!

Who is Sweet Suzie? Well, in a nutshell, she is you, the person who made it past the second sentence. Sweet Suzie started with hundreds of pictures of meals, homemade breads and desserts made in my kitchen, and cocktails that I made and drank in my greenroom. I would post the pictures on Facebook and blog about my hobby. My Facebook posts started to gather a following, and from there, I was often asked why I didn’t create a cookbook. And after eight years of cooking meals for my family, friends, and sometimes, for the homeless, and snapping thousands of pictures, I finally wrote this beautiful cookbook. I based the cookbook off my pictures and then added my cute stories and many tips. They say you can tell a person’s age by the stories that they tell. I must be at least a thousand years old by now.

Sweet Suzie, the title of my cookbook, started as a cartoon character of me that was drawn by a friend, and the name was given to this character in honor of my sweet mother, Susan. Sweet Suzie is your next-door neighbor, she is your best friend’s big sister, she is your mother and grandmother, she is every new housewife starting out in her very first kitchen, and she is the seasoned housewife-chef who has been baking for many years. She is every person who has ever prepared a feast in the privacy of their own home that turned out better than a chef’s meal in a four-star restaurant. Sweet Suzie is sometimes unappreciated and often underestimated. She is a stay-at-home chef and dog rescuer. She is Ellie May Clampett, who is slowly, but surely, turning into a granny.

My name is Kelly Armann. Armann for short, and to my family, my nickname is Poody and I am no one special, except to my mother. To her, I was the sun and the moon. I am not another rich woman writing a cookbook. I am a middle-class woman who slowly depleted her savings while writing her first cookbook. I grew up on the banks of the muddy Ohio River, and since then, not much has changed. Yet everything has changed. I was a restaurant owner and manager for over twenty-four years. I have worked every facet of the service industry—from waitress/hostess, to cook, bartender, food prep, manager, maître d’, general manager, and owner. I owned a little restaurant in Ohio named Amber’s Restaurant and Pub. My last assignment was in Yellowstone National Park, and from there, I moved to Fairmont, West Virginia, and became a stay-at-home mommy, to rescue dogs, five rescue dogs, to be exact, and I bake every day in the sanctuary of my own home. This cookbook is everything that I am, everything that I was, and everything I hope to be.

Along the way, I have met many interesting people, made many wonderful memories and I’ve gone on many journeys. I became a restaurant owner in my early twenties after being raised by a single parent and growing up poor. I have eaten at the soup kitchen with the homeless and dined in fancy restaurants with millionaires. I do not judge my friends by their wealth or monetary status. I treat people the way I want to be treated, and I have cooked for thousands of people throughout my forty-six years on this wonderful planet. I find God to be very clever in the way he brings people into our lives, and I truly believe that everyone we meet is for a reason, just like a divine plan.

God gave me the gift of gab and the ability to get people to tell stories and get them to listen to mine. That is how this wonderful book came to be. I have said, since I was a little girl, that I would write a book someday. And here it is! All my years of growing up watching my mom cook, working in restaurants, learning recipes from my elders, baking for many years in both the service industry and at home, reaching out and meeting people from all walks of life, and all my travels, have come together to form the perfect primordial soup, stone soup, to ease my weary soul. I am my mother’s daughter, and I give her credit for everything that is good in me. I also give thanks to God. I love and respect all my friends, and I adore my family, even when they haven’t been worthy.

I only wish my mother could be here to see my book (my baby) come to life. I know that she is watching down on me while I wrote this book because I felt her presence the entire time I wrote. She was quite the character. She ran a bar in Powhatan Point, Ohio, named Hank’s Place, and she was loved by everyone in town. She was ornery, funny, tough as nails, and she was everyone’s best friend. If I live to be a hundred, I could never be half the person she was. Everything that is good in me, I learned from her, and I miss her. When I was a little girl, I used to tell my momma I was going to write a book about my life someday. She would laugh, and in her ornery way, she would say, You presume anyone gives a shit? She always kept things real, and even though she didn’t support all my dreams, she always supported me. She was my biggest fan and my worst critic, and now she is my guardian angel. She was one of a kind! I love you, Mom. We did it!

So I hope my cookbook finds you well. I hope you, too, create many beautiful food stories to tell. I have worked very hard to get this wonderful book out into the world. I defeated many odds. I watched my beloved Leonard fight and beat cancer, hip surgery, and a heart attack while writing this cookbook. I have watched dementia start to take my dad’s mind, I watched our bank account dwindle, and I was diagnosed as gluten-intolerant, just to name a few trials throughout this difficult but glorious journey. I sat in a hospital bed and wrote many of the stories that you will find throughout this cookbook. I put my heart and soul into this cookbook. I let it all pour out—both the ingredients and the tears. This book healed me. It healed my Leonard too! My friends, both in real life and on Facebook, went along for the ride also. They helped me to believe in myself, my cooking, and writing abilities, and they were the most awesome cheerleaders ever! I may be poor, but I am wealthy. What more could a woman ask for than a loving partner, good friends, rescue dogs, and wonderful food and beverage?

As I wrote this cookbook, I also blogged on Facebook daily and created a strong fan base. My friends and family have all been very supportive and helped me create, not one, but two books—this cookbook and over sixty thousand words posted to Facebook. My Facebook friends followed me the entire journey and gave me feedback and honest, loving advice. Some of the tips turned out to be life changing. It is from Facebook posts that this cookbook was created, and it is, to my knowledge, the only picture, story cookbook to ever develop from Facebook posts, from a club that I formed on Facebook called the Housewife-Chefs Club. While cooking, snapping the perfect photos, handwriting recipes, writing stories, researching the origins of foods and cocktails, and typing the book, I blogged about it every single day. It’s amazing what a person can accomplish if they set their minds to it and work hard at achieving their goals. Jo’ etvagyat, which means happy eating in Hungarian.

You’ll find a family of friends living here. A small group of minds and of hearts. With some of us clever and some of us not; at times you can’t tell us apart. There’s one, who is cranky, one who is shy, and one, who is just uncouth. And just when you think you’ve figured who’s who, you’ve only uncovered the truth. The truth is, we are all a little of each; a group of imperfects are we, and sometimes I might criticize them to you, but don’t you ever knock them to me! Because, the one thing that ties us together for life, no matter how far apart we are, is the love we share for each other; a family of friends, a small group of minds and of hearts.

—Author unknown

Helpful Hints, Tips, and Tidbits

Did you know that you have been eating a banana wrong your whole life? Most people do not know that you eat a banana from the bottom, not the top. To open a banana peel, pinch the bottom with your two fingers, and it will open right up, and it is easier to peel. It also allows for less string on the peeled banana. You can also hold the banana by the top, as a handle. This is the way monkeys eat their bananas also. I think it is funny that most people do not know how to properly peel a banana but the primates do.

Bread is like the sun. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

Cooked rice has a one-day shelf life, or as we say in the restaurant industry, same day. Throw out any leftover rice when dinner is finished. Never reheat cooked rice. There is a food-borne illness called Bacillus cereus, and it is a type of bacteria that produces toxins. Refrigeration will not kill these toxins. You can use cooked rice in salads if it is cooled properly, but never eat cooked rice as a leftover.

A chopped onion has a same-day shelf life, just like cooked rice. If you store a chopped onion in the refrigerator, it is possible bacteria could grow and cause you to get sick; however, they do not become poisonous, as some claims I have seen. They are just the ideal food for bacteria to grow. Instead, store them in a freezable container and freeze them. They will stay good for up to one year.

You can store cracked eggs and broth into ice cube trays and have them handy for the next time you cook.

Eighty percent of the time when someone thinks they have the flu, they have encountered a food-borne illness. So how do you know if you have the flu or not? Truth is, you don’t. They basically have the same symptoms. Practice proper sanitation when cooking, reheating, and thawing. Always wash your hands with soap and water, for at least 20 seconds in lukewarm water, before handling food and in between different food items after using the restroom, touching your hair, smoking, etc.

The three most common causes of a food-borne illness are time and temperature abuse, cross contamination, and poor personal hygiene.

My advice to any beginner cook: get to know your local butcher, buy fresh whenever possible, and do not buy cheap meat and expect to cook like a chef. A cook is only as good as his/her ingredients.

Only use real, creamery butter when baking for it has the best taste. Real butter is healthier if you think of the fact that it is natural and not one chemical compound away from being plastic, like some so-called butters in the market. If you want to know if your butter is real, throw some out to the raccoons; if they don’t eat it, it isn’t food. If you are watching your waist or cholesterol, simply cut down on the amount of butter you use.

When life hands you onions, make onion-aid.

The temperature range that is ideal for food-borne bacteria to grow is between 40 degrees and 140 degrees and is known as the danger zone. Keep cold food below 40 degrees and hot foods about 140 degrees

When making mashed potatoes, use a handheld masher only. It makes them lighter and fluffier. If you use an electric mixer, your potatoes could turn out like wallpaper paste.

When baking brownies and muffins, do not overmix. Again, never use an electric mixer. Use a spoon.

Both mayonnaise and corn oil can be substituted for eggs in a recipe.

When making meringue, mayonnaise, and poached eggs, always have the eggs at room temperature and make sure they are fresh.

Always keep your knives sharpened. More people get cut on dull knives than sharp ones.

Use salt to sanitize a cutting board.

Never use a dented can. You can get botulism from a can that has been punctured.

Never thaw food at room temperature; only thaw in cold water or in the refrigerator.

Do not ever mix chemicals.

Store dry goods at least six inches off the floor.

Never touch ready-to-eat foods with your bare hands. Wear plastic gloves.

Cook chicken to an internal temperature of at least 165 degrees, pork to 145 degrees, fish to 155, and ground meat to 160 degrees.

FATTOM is an acronym for food, acidity, time, temperature, oxygen, and moisture. These are the six favorable conditions for food-borne pathogens.

Peel ginger with a spoon.

When making potato salad, boil the potatoes with the skin on then use a fork to peel them in lieu of a knife; you get less waste.

When peeling vegetables, work like you are in a factory assembly line. Do not do one at a time. Do them all at once. Clean them all, then cut the ends, peel, and cut—all at once.

Have a garbage bowl near you to save time and energy, and invest in a bench scraper to move the scraps. A bench scraper is a flat metal scraper with a handle.

Defrost meats on aluminum foil for a speedy thaw. It is a great conductor of heat and will draw energy and heat from the environment faster than wood.

Take any shortcuts that you can to save your energy while cooking. Just make sure you do not sacrifice taste. For example, buy prepeeled garlic.

Read the recipe first. Learn how to properly read a recipe.

When cooking, you can use a pinch here and a dash there, but when baking, follow the recipe exactly and use measuring scales. Baking is a science.

You can make your homemade dressing and condiments and store them in deli containers with matching lids.

Store your vegetables in the refrigerator in brown paper bags to increase their shelf life.

Always use salt to flavor your meats when cooking. Adding salt afterward is not the same and will not taste the same. If you are on a low-sodium diet, simply decrease the amount of salt you use by never using table salt. Seventy percent of our salt intake is at the dinner table, salting food after it has already been cooked. This is a no-no.

If you happen to get an eggshell in your food, use another eggshell to remove it. They are like magnets.

Fresh eggs sink. Bad eggs float.

Keep your champagne and other carbonated beverages bubbly by adding a raisin to them if they go flat. The natural sugars work great to recarbonate a drink.

Don’t waste your lemons and limes. Do not cut a lemon in half just for a few drops of lemon juice. Instead, use a metal skewer or corkscrew to puncture the fruit for the juices.

Store herbs in the freezer to maintain freshness for up to one month.

Put a bay leaf in flour to repel bugs. Bugs also hate mint.

Use dried rice to draw moisture from food or even cell phones.

Wrap mushrooms in paper towels before refrigerating to keep them from getting slimy. Do not crowd mushrooms when sautéing or they won’t brown.

Dry your meat before sautéing, or it will not brown.

Never throw stale bread away. Use it to make bread crumbs, French toast, casseroles, bread pudding, soups, crostini, or even to feed the birds.

You do not need a bunch of fancy cookware to become a great housewife-chef. I use handheld mashers, spoons, metal whisks, forks, and mortar and pestles, in lieu of fancy contraptions, which can cost you a lot of money, to just set on your counters and take up space. Get in there with your clean, sanitized hands and mix food together. Old-school rules.

Freeze cheeses, such as mozzarella, to make them easier to slice, shred, or cut.

Easily cut big-leafed herbs, such as basil, by stacking, rolling, and then slicing them across into ribbons.

Use aluminum foil to clean your grills and oven racks. Lemon works great to clean flat grills, and use a Coca-Cola to clean your commodes.

Housewife-chefs are only as good as the ingredients they use. I always use Robin Hood Flour, Sugar Dale Bacon, Heinz Ketchup, Idaho Potatoes, and always, the freshest spices and cuts of meat. It is the ingredients you use that matters the most. Reading a recipe and cooking are easy. It just takes practice to master the art of cooking.

Note: read the recipe thoroughly. Reread the recipe. Write in down on an index card and file it into a recipe box. Do this every chance you get. They will add up quickly, and soon you will have a written record of the meals you have made. I like to use a slash system, meaning every time I make that recipe, I give it a slash mark, as record to how many times I have cooked this recipe. After you wrote down the recipe, make a store list of the ingredients needed and the proper utensils and equipment needed. Look at the measurements and get the measuring cups and spoons needed for both solids and liquids. Follow the recipe exactly. If it calls for you to sift the flour, then sift the flour. Allow for your own tastes and tweak the recipe to fit your likes after you have cooked the dish a few times. Add to it. Make it your own. Do the proper math and do not overbake. Food will continue to cook until it has cooled. Take pride in your dinners. Use only the finest ingredients, and practice makes perfect. Share your food and give thanks.

Treat your family as if they were guests, and treat your guests like family. If you work in the restaurant business, you do not serve customers; you serve guests that your company has invited into the restaurant.

A Woman and Her Oven

Throughout the process of writing this cookbook, I just about wore out every kitchen utensil and pots and pans that I owned. Writing a proper cookbook is expensive and time-consuming and will wreak havoc on your equipment and your hands. I am due for a good manicure after all this cooking and writing. I wore out all my skillets, my deep fryer blew up, my blender and food processor both broke, coffeepot stopped percolating, and lastly, my oven blew up. I was starting to get quite upset at having to replace so much of my cooking utensils and equipment that I broke down myself when my beloved stove/oven blew up. The day I lost my GE oven, I cried. So many memories of meals and all the people that stove fed. What else can a woman do but cry and write a poem? Am I the only one out there who thinks of her oven like a pet? Maybe I am a bit extreme, but I get attached to certain things, and I am a drama queen on occasion. So I decided to write a poem for my oven. Crazy? Of course, but every time I read it, I can’t stop laughing. It would make a great commercial for GE. I sent it to someone from the GE company, and they loved it, but nothing ever came of it.

Well, sweet oven, I’m off to the appliance store; but I don’t want you to think that Mommy doesn’t love you anymore! You were the best little oven, the best in town. You always cooked my turkeys to a nice golden brown. Now don’t you fret, and don’t you pout. I’d keep you, honey, but your coils burned out. I’ll cherish the memories of the cakes I baked in you. I bet it was a million, maybe even a million and two. You were one of a kind…like no other! You helped me turn into my mother. You got me through some cold winters, and you were my friend when I was alone. And remember that roast last winter that fell right off the bone? Mommy could not have done that alone. And that time when we made that Baked Alaska…what other oven could have handled that, now, I ask ya? Or that disastrous salmon, oh boy, what a scorcher! What other oven could have handled such torcher? You always cooked the finest meatballs. I still have the pictures all over my walls. I love you, sweet oven, but now I must put you to rest, I want you to know, that your cookies were the best! I’ll always remember that steak, the one I could cut with a butter knife. You were a GE baby, and you brought good things to life!

Basic Measurements in Cooking

t. = teaspoon qt. = quart 3 t. = 1 T. 2 c. = 1 pt. dash/pinch = 1/8 t.

T. = Tablespoon pt. = pint 4 T. = 1/4 c. 4 c. = 1 qt.

oz. = ounce lb. = pound 5 T. plus 1 t. = 1/3 c. 4 qt. = 1 gal.

c. = cup gal. = gallon 1 c. = 1/2 pt. 16 oz. = 1 lb.

Liquid Measurements

(Measure liquids with liquid measuring cups only. Fluid ounces do not equal dry ounces.)

1/2 fl. oz. = 1 T. = 3 t.

1/2 c. = 4 fl. oz. = 8 T. = 24 t.

1/4 gal. = 1 qt. = 2 pt. = 4 c. = 32 fl. oz.

1/8 c. = 1 fl. oz. = 2 T. = 6 t.

1/4 qt. = 1/2 pt. = 1 c. = 8 fl. oz.

1/2 gal. = 2 qt. = 4 pt. = 8 c. = 64 fl. oz.

1/4 c. = 2 fl. oz. = 2 T. = 4 T. = 12 t.

1/2 qt. = 1 pt. = 2 c.

1 gal. = 4 qt. = 8 pt. = 128 fl. oz.

Growing Calendar

Plant Start Indoors Transplant Outdoors

Basil April 15 May 20

Tomatoes April 15 May 20

Broccoli March 15 May 1

Cauliflower March 15 May 1

Peppers May 1 June 20

Parsley March 1 May 1

Cabbage March 15 May 1

Pumpkin May 1 May 20

Beets *** April 15

Kale March 1 May 1

Celery Feb 16 March 15

Cucumber May 1 June 15

Onions Feb 15 May 1

Lettuce March 1 April 1

Melon April 15 June 1

Spinach *** March 15

Brussels Sprouts March 15 May 1

Corn April 15 May 15

Peas April 15 May 1

Potatoes *** St. Patrick’s Day

Natural Painkillers

Garlic – made into a special oil for earaches

Cloves – toothache / gum inflammation

Apple Cider Vinegar – heartburn

Ginger – muscle pain

Cherries – joint pain / headaches

Turmeric – chronic pain

Peppermint – sore muscles

Pineapple – stomach bloating / gas

Water – general injury / pain

Horseradish – sinus pain

Blueberries – urinary tract infections

Cream of Tartar under your tongue, to stop vertigo

Come all you fair and