Love Is Crazy - Lessons In Love Creating Your Own Happy Ever After

By Love Guru Uma

Michael Bernard Beckwith says: “Uma is not merely a seeker of love, a writer about love, she IS Love. And that’s what makes this a trustworthy guide through the labyrinth of love..."
A beautiful, quirky, love-weary, single mom is mugged in South Central LA, chases him down and wonders how she got there…an unbelievable fictional tale based on a true story. Our heroine follows her heart from Sedona to Seattle with two young sons in tow. Her fiancé suffers from an incurable disease - seriously?! She learns invaluable love lessons while singing her heart out in this riotous, topsy-turvy adventure in love. While dealing with a pathological liar, her fiancé on hallucinogenic prescription drugs and his teenage brat, she survives Sexaholics Anonymous and powerfully positive, self-help groups while learning to do whatever it takes to find and keep love, but is it enough?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Dec 18, 2017
• ISBN: 9781387443512

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Love Is Crazy - Lessons In Love Creating Your Own Happy Ever After

Love Is Crazy

Lessons In Love:

Creating Your Own

Happy Ever After

Love Guru Uma

Copyright Info

Copyright ©2017 by K.A. Ojeda. All rights reserved.

Published by K.A. Ojeda/Aloha Kula Publishing Company

ISBN #: 978-1-387-44351-2

Distributed by Lulu

Cover Art by Khalil Dahane

Cover Concept from Love is Crazy by Dirty Laundry CD cover

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author or publisher, except for brief quotations in a book review or scholarly journal.

First electronic edition: December 17, 2017

Aloha Kula Publishing Company

PO Box 4987 Kailua Kona, HI 96745 USA

http://www.umaojeda.weebly.com

This book is a work of fiction. Any similarities to any person, living or dead, events, businesses, or places are coincidental and not intended by the author. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and incidents are used fictitiously or are conceived from the author’s imagination.

Dear Valued Reader,

Thank you immensely for purchasing Love is Crazy! Writing, sharing Lessons in Love & performing my original songs worldwide is my dream! Helping couples create happier marriages and partnerships with Juicy ‘LOVE IS’ PlayShops is part of that journey. None of this would be possible without you my dear reader!! So mahalo nui from the bottom of my tender, broken and loved back together again heart! There are 4 or 5 upcoming books in the ‘LOVE IS’ series. Stay updated on my progress on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Instagram and website! Chat with me and join the conversation with LOVE IS fans on my blog www.umaojeda.weebly.com

https://www.facebook.com/LoveisCrazy/ YouTube: UmaSings @loveiscrazyUma @umaojeda Instagram: umaojeda

DEDICATION:

When I was sixteen, a psychic told me that I would write a book that might help others, so recently I said to myself - it’s about time! This is a work of fiction, based on a few pivotal years of my search for love: of self and with a mate. During this time period, I kept asking myself: Is this really happening? It reminded me of the movie ‘O Brother Where Art Thou?’- where unbelievable things kept occurring, and no one could possibly predict what was coming next. One of my dreams is that we can make this book into a movie, TV show or web series very soon.

Some of this story may shock or amuse you, and perhaps it may help you on your own journey of self-love, as well as give you hope that you can find your own ‘perfect for you’ mate. What’s incredibly sweet and amazing is that the perfect one for you may still have his/her own minor little idiosyncrasies that you will learn to love. Or you will learn to let them slide and not make a big deal out of them. Maybe it will be simple or difficult. When you find the one that’s right for you, it will be easy to give and take, love them with all their warts, and hope and trust they will love yours as well. My journey was long, painful and seemingly unending, but worth every lesson learned, every heart-wrenching and heart-opening event to finally get to where I am now. All the lessons that I survived through, helped me grow into the best possible me: purposeful and content in life and love AND happily married. Not that marriage is the only possible goal, but it’s added so much joy and richness to my life! I highly recommend building a life with someone you love, cherish and adore, and of course, who feels the same about you.

I’ve learned so much on this journey of love; some of it was incredible and most of it seemed insane at the time. Even a person who never thought she could be faithful, devoted and committed, can find that special person who makes them want to be better, do better and almost always put their mate’s desires first and foremost, without becoming a doormat. Believe me, I wondered if I could ever be faithful and true. I was beginning to fear that it wasn’t in my DNA. It’s surprising now, how much I want to please my man, kiss his beautiful mouth every day and bring him joy and ecstasy! Before we met, I had a long, laundry list of what I desired in a mate. Of course, some things were flexible. Then I started living those qualities myself: being funnier, sillier, more joyful and fulfilled on my own, and being more caring and thoughtful of the people in my life. Next, I created a vision board showing our future dream life together, with an emphasis on travel, marriage, sex, yoga, and Hawaii. After a few years of concentrated meditation, visualization, plus imagining and day dreaming, I really created the life and love of my dreams. Whatever you can conceive of, then feel the feelings of having, you can achieve, in love & in LIFE.

I want to dedicate this book to that same man: my amazing husband, who helped me be the very best human I could never before conceive of becoming. He brings me such sweetness every single day. He travels with me, plays music wherever we land and is the most easy-going person on the planet. This book is also dedicated to my wonderful, patient & caring family, including my Ultra Amazing Mother, who cheered me on through all the ups & downs, my step-dad, who supported me through the tough times, and my wonderful grown up sons, who put up with all my shit during this whole episode. They survived and thrived despite a not-so-easy life filled with challenges and crazy adventures. Big thanks to all my friends along the way, who helped cheer me on. Also, to Lara Printz, who helped revise a few chapters early on and my two best girlfriends, Precious and Sophia, in China, who are helping to translate. I hope you enjoy this roller coaster ride of love and adventure. 

p.s. Lessons in Love follow each chapter; to avoid interrupting the flow of the story, Book Club activities follow. If you don’t want to create your own juicy, fulfilling, happily ever after, please don’t continue to read through to the very end…

In addition, there are songs that were intrinsic to the journey, which are referenced with Bold Letters, some of which I sang; others were popular at the time or fit with my experience. If you want to capture the real vibe of this bizarre tale, find some of them on iTunes at ‘Uma Love Notes’ or http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/uma4. 

Chapter 1: The End and the Beginning

The city bus jerked me awake; I felt completely shocked that I’d fallen asleep, especially here in South Central LA. This is not the safest place to fall asleep, I thought to myself, but I was so beat. It had been three months with no job and two sons to feed; their dad had been no help. I felt so blessed to finally have a teaching post, and my first paycheck in hand. It was going straight to food and Christmas gifts. 

There was a strange whirring sound as my sons, ages 4 and 9, & I walked across the parking lot of Florence Avenue and Crenshaw Boulevard. We were passing the Laundromat on our way to their dad’s house. Then I felt my canvas bag being ripped from my shoulder.

Shit, my paycheck’s in there! I thought to myself. 

Immediately, I started running after the guy and my sons chased after ME! The jerk was tall, black and thankfully a bit overweight. He couldn’t have known that I’d been running daily for the last 6 months. At the edge of the parking lot, I jumped on his back, in hopes of getting my bag back. He flung me off, like a dirty sock.

Still, I continued my pursuit. Max, my youngest son, stopped running early on, but my oldest, Daniel, kept on following me. Luckily, I learned later that a nice, older Hispanic gentleman held Max’s hand while waiting with him at the corner. I began cursing and yelling at the top of my lungs, while chasing the mugger at a furious pace…

I continued screaming, You’re gonna give me back my bag, you Sonuvabitch! You may as well drop it now, cuz I’m not giving up…I’ll chase you down to the ends of the earth, you fucking asshole! Listen buddy, you better give it back, and I’ll let you go on your merry way. That bag is vital to my survival and I’m not giving it up easily! As you can probably tell, I was not going to let him get away. But he continued running and I continued chasing.

You motherfucker, you better give me back that bag! I screamed at the top of my lungs.  And I kept yelling at him for the next mile, while I chased his ass down. I knew he had to give me back that bag; he just didn’t know it yet. He obviously didn’t understand that feeding my sons was important enough to me to chase him down, no matter what.

We passed people on the street; I yelled for help, but everyone ignored me. This was South Central LA, after all. The chase went into the middle of the street and luckily cars slowed down to avoid hitting us. I continued with a barrage of filthy words, You better give it back now, because I am not giving up ‘til you do, you motherfucker! Next my shoe fell off, but I kept racing after him. It was a damn good thing I’d been running in Seattle to stay in shape. 

We crossed the street and he finally dropped my bag, after realizing the crazy white lady chasing him was not giving up. I grabbed it and kept running after him, while I checked to make sure my wallet was in there with the check intact. Once I was satisfied, I finally stopped running, then noticed Daniel had followed me the entire way. He was shocked I’d been cursing like a trucker. He said, Mommy, I didn’t know you knew those words.

I told him, Now you do. And you know we don’t use those words usually, right? Where’s your brother?

Daniel nodded to my first question, and replied, Back there I guess.

Crap, I thought to myself as I prayed that Max was alright. We raced back to the Laundromat to look for him; we were happily surprised to find him holding the old man’s hand, still waiting for us on the corner. We began the four-block walk back to their father’s empty house, while my heart still raced from the adrenaline pulsing in my body. 

I drew a hot bath, and finally took a deep breath, to try and relax: to take in all that had just happened. Shit, I just realized that mugger could’ve had a knife or a gun on him.  I was so blessed that he didn’t, and that he couldn’t outrun me. My body was still shaking from the rush of adrenaline that comes from running past the point when the body says ‘stop.’ It took a good hour for the shakes to stop.

As I rested my head on the edge of the tub, I asked myself, How the hell did I get here?    

It all started in May of 1999: I knew something was coming my way. The feeling that things were about to change, was undeniable. I was living in Sedona, Arizona; home to the incredible red rocks and New Age mecca. I adored this place and my job as jeep tour guide. This job was adventurous and great fun. Compared to my previous post as school teacher, which I had loved, but the daily monotony drove me bonkers. Sure, the elements were unpredictable, and the passengers were sometimes stingy with small tips; overall, it was my most favorite job so far.

I never knew what was coming next: time off sitting in the guide cabin reading a book if there was a slow stretch, or back to back days with no breaks. Sometimes, there was hardly time for lunch at my favorite restaurant, The Cowboy Club. Located in Uptown Sedona, it’s the quaintest of quaint spots with cowboy memorabilia all over the walls and melt in your mouth Elk steak, buffalo burgers, rattlesnake chili and cactus fries. There was always plenty for leftovers. However, more often than not, one of my growing sons would snatch it, before I did! Unless I hid it in the back of the fridge, but then I might forget it was there.

I’d survived many strange, love relationships: an on-again, off-again with the father of my sons and recently with a brilliant, fellow jeep driver. He had a photographic memory, which included post-traumatic syndrome from recent service combat. He couldn’t even conceive of being around children! Love had been mistreating me horribly, but I knew I couldn’t give up.   

I remember calling Bobby’s name and shaking his hand as we met…he was a passenger on my jeep tour. He was ready for a thrilling ride through the red rocks. He sat next to me, and almost immediately I felt giddy, like I was in high school again. I knew Bobby felt it too; the electricity in the air was undeniable.

The tour was just short of magical, as it always was, traversing through the high desert on dusty roads to our most popular spot, Broken Arrow. Aptly named after the old Western movie filmed there, way before it was a tourist attraction with so many homes and shops. From the first 2-foot rock my 4-wheel drive jeep climbed, I had Bobby in the palm of my hand. Or maybe I was in his. He was one of my best audiences anyway.

We were not alone, mind you, although everything & everyone else seemed to