My Life, As a God

By C.M. Sorensen

What is a god? Where does he or she come from? What do they want? In order to find the answer a young life form born in the vast universe of space without a mother, or a father Jomelashinasiak embarks on a journey to find those hidden answers as to why he was born. Moving from planet to planet gaining knowledge along they without a ship of his own Jomel then finds a small blue world so that he could fulfill his life long mission of knowing why. Being eternal also has its drawbacks. Struggling with the loneliness while his adventures pile up causes Jomel to question his own existence.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Mar 27, 2017
• ISBN: 9781365851742

Book preview

My Life, As a God

My life as a god:

And why the universe has so many idiots

Written by, C. M. Sorensen

My life as a god

And why this universe has so many idiots.

Copyright © Protected, Registered ® 2017

ISBN# - 978 - 1 - 365 - 85174 - 2

Any unauthorized reproduction or distribution using electronic devices or illegal downloading will result in criminal prosecution.

This work of fiction is protected by the Writer’s guild of Canada.

All rights reserved.

For my mother who lives on in my deepest. and cherished memories... Elaine Marie Glew.

Chapter 1

I often keep wondering, just how long does it take to smell the roses?

My sixth ex-life was to oversee a madman who in the early years a senile Caesar named Caligula although not aged as some of the other senators. No he was just your basic young lad who only wanted to live freely among his peers as the most vile and contemptible pig to ever walk this large blue world. I had only known him for two years and couldn’t understand of why the roman citizens didn’t cause an uprising sooner. To witness the accounts day in, and day out of his unusual cravings whilst sitting upon his gold laden throne with a smug look on his pathetic face laughing while one of his interrogators stuck hot iron ingots in a prisoner’s rectum.  Usually during such a momentous occasion his sister Drusilla would often wait for his arrival in the gardens where they both could enjoy a moment under the midday sun frolicking like rabbits in heat. I was astounded at just how deviant Caligula was. At times I felt like shedding tears because of his cruel nature but couldn’t in case I was ever found out showing signs of weakness. Now -- I mentioned ex-life. Well... seeing as this tale is of past ages I suppose I could start from the beginning. It all happened within a dark and cold environment. A place where no light or sound could penetrate from any direction. It was in there that I - Jomelashinasiak had awoke from a deep, deep sleep. I was no bigger than... a quark. A tiny life form smaller than a pinpoint but contained vast amounts of power, and energy. It was shortly after the so called big bang, which occurred nearly fifteen billion years ago that I started to dwell and travel amongst the stars searching for some kind of clue as to who I am. Normally such life would be born on a planet or from some remote region of space where life evolved naturally from a primordial ooze and then on to proceed in stages like walking on two feet. No... I was born in space itself. No air, no gravity, no nothing. Just an empty void that held numerous distant planets asteroids or moons in random pockets of its black cloak. Since space had no compass of its own I just chose a direction to move on to. Normally for me journeying in space took no time at all. Especially with a talent like mine of moving faster than light on a natural plane. It was so simple too... all I do is think of a destination although with no references to help me, and then... Zip! Off I go. So with my first objective in mind I ended up orbiting a massive planet, and I mean massive. By comparison if Jupiter sat beside it this planet it would dwarf the jovial world by ten million miles at the equator. The giant vegetative laced world is called -- Hyranskilla. A magnificent water based planet with continents on the surface on one side, and an enormous military regime on the other.

I was shocked. To see such life in so little time after the bang it caught me completely off guard. Needless to say this was my opportunity seeing as I was no larger than a microbe. Nearing its atmosphere I could tell that the initial entry was going to take some time, and that my energy sources to protect me during the insertion point would leave me vulnerable for about ten seconds. Not a lot of time I thought to live in such violence but for the moment all I could think about were the citizens dwelling upon the great continents below me. What made the entry hard was that the atmosphere was thick, and dense. It felt strange at first as I passed through the cumulus layer of cloud cover but as my speed increased my form started to change almost immediately. I capitalized on that. Very soon my body took a new shape to a bulbous or more round aspect as my insertion increased with every mile. Up until around one hundred thousand feet.

In a few more seconds my pace of entry slowed down to just coasting speed. The expanse underneath me spread out like a giant green carpet, and on to the distant horizon where two suns set behind nine jagged mountains the size of which I could not even fathom. If I had a heart it thumped loud inside of my newly formed head allowing me to experience the awe, and inspiring view of such a rich, and lush planet. As I started to descend towards the mass of land I remember getting a slight headache from the entry, which didn’t help me much. I never felt pain before but I kept moving on -- on towards an unknown adventure for my very first time as a life form. There were no people to greet me or warning sirens that I was trespassing. I suppose being so small had its fortuitous benefits but seemed lonely as I glided across the immense skies coasting inside a pocket of wind.

With every mile I travelled, I remember what I see. From enormous trees, and how many branches each one had along with their over-sized orange leaves to rocks symmetrically placed on the bronze colored dirt below. As I changed course towards a valley area I was surprised that there were no animal life yet. Not a crawler or flier or even a runner. Nothing. Just a barren landscape to fill it with anything that breathed, that is if the lifeforms breathed at all. I was nearing a knoll where I could see thousands of bending reeds that stuck out, and pointed to the clear skies. Each had thick stalks of about ten inches, and swayed gently as the breezes touched the tops. I then flew around each stalk like a slalom skier in an Olympic competition, which was fun as I never paced myself before. Normally I would just cut across the tops to cut my flight time but I found it oddly relaxing as I weaved, and bobbed around each one. Grinning I saw an exposed plot of land, with many gaps, and several leaning houses made from the planets’ stone mountains.

I slowed myself down, and then swooped behind some bushes although with my size it was impossible to see me in the first place, but I was not going to take the chance. Waiting I could hear some faint voices coming in from the short distance. I peeked through a few cracks that the bush’s leaves had provided me, and saw four females walking towards my direction. I hovered quietly listening to them speaking in their native tongue, which sounded like ticks, and pops. They had three sets of eyes that were horizontal but in groups of twos, and oddly enough in various colors. None of them wore clothing, which said to me that the people were not concerned about appearances but rather mannerisms between each person was more important. I ducked in my bush a little further as their hulking sizes walked past my hideout not bothering to check to see if I was a threat. Still -- that tense feeling kept me bound there in the shadows not wanting to expose myself so suddenly causing a needless panic. I held my breath. At least I thought was breath until the four pretty females disappeared over a notched hill where other dwellers waited for their arrival. During my reprieve hiding, I decided to explore a little further onwards where other villagers were working on some large structure made of stone. I kept low to the ground. So low in fact that I could feel its radiative heat from the sun’s glaring energy.

I could hear laughter yet they sounded smaller. Tinier in pitch. Probably some adverse effect as they evolved so in keeping myself hidden behind pebbles, and small stones I crept up closer to see littler versions of the adults playing around a water sphere that hovered above the ground of about a foot or so. They giggled, splashed water, and chased one another around it touching the liquid suspended surface with their tiny fingers. Nearby, the adults who watched smirked watching them have fun on such a clear, and serene late afternoon until finally a blow horn sounded. One that was loud, and vibrated my hearing to such a degree that I nearly passed out from its resonance. Very quickly the villagers gathered up their belongings, or tools along with the small lively children, and trotted off to a main central area before a set of heavy gates began to close. From behind me I then heard the four females running up along with their friends as a few of them shouted; Wait! Don’t close it yet!

It was possible to understand them. How could that be I thought. I only just arrived, and I can understand their language already. When they passed my small rock one of their toes kicked mine, which sent me flying over a nearby wall and into the courtyard to see the other villagers waiting patiently until the last villager ran past the gate entrance where by it started to close on its own, like someone using an invisible limb to help it along.

I looked puzzled for a minute, then chuckled. I suppose this is going to be my new home for awhile. After the gate closed another horn sounded, but it was much higher in pitch, and density. Then suddenly a bright flash encompassed the grounds but over the village itself. Some sort of barrier I surmised. Creating a blister to protect these wonderful creatures from the desert predators if there were any or from outside dangers such as thieves or enemies. But who could be an enemy of these natives? None of them looked dangerous or harbored ill will to anyone within the perimeter not even against each other. I came to the conclusion that it must have something to do with its orbit around the two suns. Before I entered the atmosphere I could already tell how cold it was going to get. Not exactly looking forward to feeling the bracing bitter chill but then again I was very small. I could just find a nice warm, and cozy little house to roost in until morning. There by seizing another moment to study this new race up close and personal. I then chose one house that was very friendly looking on the outside. It was graced with long front bench like potters where different flowers ranging from small buds to large blooms that had nestled birds inside of its soft leaves sleeping with their young. I flew over gazing at the front entrance hearing laughter bellowing from inside. Spotting an open window I crept up to then sit on the ledge, which from my perspective seemed like twenty miles in width. At a table a family sat around it eating various fruits, nuts, and odd bits of meat mixed with a creamy saliva like ooze that they picked out of a bowl with their fingers. Since I did not eat I could only wonder what it was like to stick something in an open orifice and then chew on it. What did it taste like I wondered? To see them smiling as they ate their supper made me feel -- slightly jealous, but more lonely than anything else.

Hurry up children, then it is bedtime. Their mother said with a gentle voice.

Aw! Can’t we stay up a little longer?

No Tradina you cannot. You both have an early day tomorrow with your instructors.

Yeah but Dortrak’s mother lets him stay up late a lot. Said Tradina.

I’m sure. Probably because he is older than you two, so come on -- finish up, and it’s off to bed. Their mother firmly replied.

I expected their father to say something but it looked like the head of the households was the village females. Of course I was judging from my initial impression when I first arrived but -- so far nothing from the male’s lips. When the children finished their meals, both took their dinner ware to a small alcove that was slotted in a wall, then they placed each one inside where a crystal illuminated.

I watched as each plate were shattered to small shards inside a pocket of energy. A bubble if you will where they floated around like dancing light bumping into one another fizzling away to nothing until it was just a bare space again to have another set introduced to start all over. Why waste such dinner ware I thought? Then as the children left the dining area a set of plates appeared on a counter top where their mother then placed into an open cupboard hole. Such wonders to see as I flew inside, and then veered upward to perch on a large wall unit that contained hundreds of glowing panels stacked onto one another.

Does the Rushindi think it’s time for our people to do a recount this year? She asked her husband.

His eyes simply looked up to his wife, and nodded no silently. During her cleaning routine he then asked, What about the Sporfan regions. I heard that their leader is getting uptight about all of the recalls of serentha crystals?

I know. His complaint was ushered behind another of his colleagues. Looks like another vote is being called again.

Another vote. He sighed.

It’s hard enough without a voice but since the Wenrki declared their place as supreme high command everyone has no choice in the matter. I think -- that we are going to see some dark days ahead Vreesh, She said.

I agree. We’ll have to endure it though. My thoughts couldn’t understand of what they were talking about but it seemed to me that the subject of crystals was the culprit. The mood tensed slightly as the mother sat down across from her husband, and both brooded in silence. The table was lit by a single orb that hung just above its surface yet no source of power could be seen. Only its glow. That and it hovered. I craved to see more of how they used such wonders of energy without power sources or how they made each thing or instrument hover like it was second nature. As I thought about it some more I didn’t see the female walk over to her husband, and then sat down on his lap facing him. I shook my head once to suddenly see his -- well his very long, and uh thick -- uh -- something in both of her hands. I felt flushed with heat seeing this ritual being performed with just her fingers yet he didn’t mind as he laid his head back enjoying the moment between he, and his beloved wife. I had to leave. Quickly in fact so they could have their time together. I flew into the next room hearing their voices carry in the home. I thought there had to be some deep meaning of what they were doing, because just the way he let out some low moans told me he was being pleasured. How I could only imagine. After a few more feet I stopped at a large opening that sat in the middle of the dimly lit room.

My sight squinted to see better but I knew it had to be some sort of mechanical device. A new mystery for me I guess. Close to its base were tiny orbs of pulsing light that hummed a friendly sound. I flew down to take a closer look but the more I got closer to it the more I began to feel a euphoric wave sweeping over my senses. It didn’t hurt at all -- just little instances of tickling through out my energy frame. I chuckled from the strangeness at how my own awareness could be interrupted to such a degree. For the moment however I landed close to a power node that twinkled in random order, which seemed almost hypnotizing. I inched closer to examine its properties of why it did flicker or how its energy could power such a monstrosity that sat in the middle of the silent room.

Using my thoughts I then created my very own appendage that slowly inched out to touch the odd humming light but instead nearly got blown away from another person who dashed in the room. With a dexterous leap I aimed for a shadow pocket under a nearby table as this new stranger who didn’t announce their presence in someone else’s home started to touch a glowing panel on the machine’s orifice frame. Curious I watched with a vested interest as his fingers raced across the lit panel pressing complex symbols, and insignias that had no meaning to my language yet I could still understand them when they spoke.

As I was musing on the subtle differences of the writing, the machine sparked to life with a deep throb. The opening glowed at the center with a mist then changed to a colorful display of particles that danced around the interior of its frame until finally a gasp or a burst of energy sighed outwards to fill the room with its essence. Suddenly the household owners walked in together when the head of the house or the female asked; Why are you leaving so soon my son?

Another son I thought. Much older, and more brash by his mannerisms which told me he was an adventurer of some kind. Maybe a hero going on some secret mission that the family only knows about. Perhaps -- I won’t be gone long mother. I have some studying to do with Dreeka. Her son replied. Wait, what? Studying? Are you kidding me? After all of that impressive energy gathering together in the middle of that contraption making me think it was some sort of secret mission that he was only going to a friend to study with? I was crushed. I was so amazed watching this machine creating atomic energy to open a portal for some rogue agent to do his mission only to find out that it was just a simple transport device without a bulky shell to protect the traveler. How my dreams were shattered at that moment. Don’t be gone too late Irijiam. His father commanded.

I won’t father. I won’t father. I won’t father. Bah!. That was a waste of my time. If I’d have known it was going to turn out to be just a jaunt to a neighbors house I wouldn’t have bothered.

Chapter 2

After leaving the premises I floated across a stone walkway, up a flight of steps, then paused, scowling. The village looked pretty with strange signs of welcome in various languages over shops, and stores of different curiosities. It was a place called a square. Or B -- Bi -- Bizarre. Something like that. Nothing held a special meaning for me after witnessing a young male adolescent just going to a friend’s house just to study. Study what? How to be even more boring? The fog of uncertainty was starting to drown me. I wanted to see more wonderful mysteries of power but so far it’s just been hand made machines with just a touch of lighted dressing to make it seem that way.

Slightly depressed I wandered through the night past shops, a few abandoned structures where the villagers did not occupy. Perhaps it was bad luck to do so in memory of those who owned it before. Seemed idiotic at the time when I thought about it until I saw a pile of bones in a dark corner of the collapsed building. They were small. Child like if I was far enough away to change my perspectives. As I entered over the aged threshold I could sense some lingering energy of a past long forgotten. Amidst the debris, and rubble I felt a strange awareness that I was being watched but from where, I could not tell. I moved in more floating by my lonesome to a bottom step of a broken stair well. My eyes told me I was hovering above a floor in some remnant artist shop. So why was it debilitated beyond recognition I asked myself? Who could have done this much damage, and not bother to rebuild it or bury the poor dead child laying in a heap of dried up bones with no one to tend to he or she’s remains? What happened in here? If I could get sick to my stomach I would but since I had no stomach to begin with it was hard to imagine such a thing.

I proceeded in further gathering enough information to learn about the establishment’s demise, and the owners who left behind a child to die. The smell was musty. Like old rags dipped in heavy oil, and left out in the suns to dry but not to the point of hardness. Just enough to keep it moist, and dank that filled my senses with an awful smell. I moved faster across the dirty floor to a small hole in the wall where surprisingly enough was a dim light shining from within. I had to investigate it.

As I got closer I spotted a female sitting at a lonely table writing on some old stone tablet yet the writing seemed to glow with every stroke of her hand. Quietly I flew in. She was no more than possibly -- a few hundred years old by my standards. A kind, and gentle looking type of female who looked sad as she wrote on her tablet. As I eased up closer to her chair I saw that her foot was doing something odd. It jutted up and down on the ball. Why was she doing that? I thought.

Perhaps a sign I couldn’t read from the way it moved---the message could be wrong. I moved closer toward her foot, then turned around. I closed my eyes, and floated forward, reminding myself to take it nice, and slow so I wouldn’t be noticed. As I was about to leave her alone to wallow in whatever she was doing she asked; Who are you?

I stopped. Waiting for some answer to come from another direction but instead heard it again from her lips; Who are you? Why are you hiding from me? She couldn’t mean me. I was too small to even consider being seen in my awesome glory. I swallowed once, then turned around to see two massive eyes staring right at me at ground level. It nearly made me urinate. Well -- at least to a specific degree of what urination would be like. You’re not one of us. She said.

Really I thought? I was shaking... badly. To the point where my own energy particles could barely be noticed by even the most keen eye. I backed off suddenly only to bar myself against a large stone block that sat in the middle of the floor. How coincidental I said to myself. She crept closer to me but not in an aggressive way... more curious that made me think she was not dangerous. I hoped so. Hm. A small piece of a -- Gswhan. The female said. Gswhan. What the hell was a Gswhan I asked myself. There were many scientists, and philosophers who argued about the existence of such a thing but it was never proven. She explained. Yet for me all I could think about was escaping with my meager life intact.

Do you speak? Can - you - un - der - stand - me? She asked making me feel completely stupid.

Of course I can understand you. I replied with an annoyance.

Oh - good. Then you’re not a total waste of my time. The female exasperated.

Waste of your time? That was uncalled for. I said moving closer to her.

In my life I often wondered what it would be like to meet such a creature like yourself. But now a days even my own kind wants nothing to do with me.

Why may I ask?

Look around you. Do you see this mess? Do you see how they destroyed my life? How they killed my only child in the next room? Do you see?

I was silent. Killed her only child? For what? Why? A few years ago my mate tried to prove the existence of other life forms in this universe. He was met with a violent outcome as a group of our own ravaged this once peaceful abode, and -- eviscerated him in public. She said choking back a few tears.

"Why did they do such a cruel thing to him? I asked.

Because my people think that they are the center of everything.

And -- what did they do to your child? I asked with a meek tone.

They, choked her death.

Ordinary lives snuffed out in an instant by her own people with no regards as to their actions. It wasn’t happening I thought. All else aside, it seemed to barbaric for such a technological race to kill two innocent people with so much malice, and hatred. I approached her, which she did not mind, and  stopped just short of her right foot as she was squat sitting above the cold floor. I pondered about her next possible action. If she wanted revenge, or some closure in a different way so I asked; What’s going to happen now?

Now I can end my life. I have no more desire to live on this cursed world with such remorseless people.

There is a way to help ease the pain. I said.

How? What can you possibly do to help me? I mean look at you. You are smaller than a strand of my hair even at the tip. How can you help me?

It hurt to hear it from her lips but she was right. I was tiny. A speck the size of someone’s smallest wish with no power to back it up. At least until I floated to eye level so she could see me a bit more clearly with that acute vision of hers. What if I was to tell you that I can allow your body to harness power? A power that can -- help ease your pain?

In what way? She asked me.

Since you believe in other life forms other than your own then it seems to reason that your mate’s theories were correct all along. You just have to prove it to them.

How?

By letting me inside of you. I replied sheepishly.

Inside. Of me?

Yes. Then your body can respond to my energy, which you can then focus my power as anything you want. What was I doing? I thought. I was about to allow this female to demonstrate to her peers that there is life in the deep universe using my gifts. What would the cost be? Her life? Or theirs? Would she take revenge on those who killed both her mate, and child or take another route, and completely destroy this entire world along with everyone on it? I never took the time to study the people in depth rather just on appearances or face value. Agreed. She replied.

I took a deep breath. Then proceeded to enter her body at chest level. She never once hesitated of accepting my presence, in fact she welcomed it with open arms which told me that she no longer had life issues to attend to. That her entire being was destroyed the moment they killed her mate, and child with no mercy in their veins. It was all or nothing as