The Human Theory

By Esko Elmwood

In our expansive universe, one would be hard pressed to ignore the possibility of simple life outside of our solar system, but what about complex life? In this tale, a retired Army Colonel faces an opportunity to change the way we see the world. Will the Colonel be scoffed at as a lunatic conspiracy theorist, or will he prevail in this thrilling adventure spanning a lifetime? The Universe awaits you…

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Aug 13, 2014
• ISBN: 9781312437524

Book preview

The Human Theory

The Human Theory

By: Esko Elmwood

ISBN #: 978-1-312-43752-4

Copyright © 2014 S. E. Gonzales

[e-mail]

All rights reserved.

This work is licensed under the Creative

Commons Attribution-NoDeriviatives 4.0 International

License.  To view a copy of this license, visit

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/4.0/

or send a letter to:

Creative Commons

171 Second Street, Suite 300

San Francisco, California 94105

USA

Crop Circles

"Crop-circles-crop-circles-crop-circles, CROP CIRCLES, crop circles, crop circles…crop circles-"

"SIR, a woman in a red and white checkered skirt and a frilly white blouse stood over Howard Delong.  Please, sir?  If you don’t mind, keep your outbursts to yourself!  We have other customers trying to enjoy their breakfast."

Howard looked at the young Lady.  My pardon ma’am.  I’ll hush it, if that’s what you wish?

"If you don’t mind sir?  That would be great.  Thank you." The young Lady sauntered away with the strings of her apron following briskly behind.

Okay, where was I, he asked himself? Aha! Crop-circles, crop circles, cropcirclescropcirles, he whispered at the newspaper.  Crop-circles, that’s right, crop circles! He said a little too shrill, drawing a peek from the young waitress and a few sneering glances from the other patrons.  He found it necessary to remind himself repetitively to facilitate his current topic of interest.  It was an exacting stammer he had picked up a few years passed which seemed to annoy anyone within earshot.

Howard Delong found his standard New York Times rolled up with a nude band wrapped around it lying comfortably on his welcome mat earlier that morning.  Usually it would reside comfortably on his welcome mat until he was good and ready to unwrap it, look at the cover story, and toss it in the trash.  This morning was out of the ordinary.  This morning his supernatural fascination had been tickled by the spread of yellowy-orange wheat fields front-and-center on page one.  A series of concentric circles depressed the natural blanket of crops.  The paper cried crop circles in bold block type lettering.  Yet, Howard knew better.  It was fabricated by dim-witted college students who had nothing better to do on their weekends than stir up some unintelligent UFO hunters. 

Unidentified, You Imbeciles!  Howard stood shaking a fist at the mess of papers on the table.  He quickly glanced around the diner to see if his sudden outburst went unnoticed.  With a sigh, he settled back into his chair.

Howard knew better than to forfeit to those phony geometric concoctions.  He was inclined to keep the genuine secrets between him and his close friends and relatives.  Besides, everyone should know by now if the circle is lacking magnetized iron orbs equally distributed in a linear fashion it is a fake, and Howard was sure to educate anyone who thought otherwise.

Eggs, hash browns, and bacon, with a side of mustard, anything else sir?  It was the young Lady again, this time a hair friendlier than the last.

Oh, no thank you ma’am, that’ll do.  She walked away briskly, but stopped when she heard Howard revert.

CROP CIRCLES crop circles crop circles crop-

SIR, please She growled

Oh-oh, yes, sorry.

At home, Howard had a working collage of various news articles depicting UFO sightings, crop circles, claims of abductions, and historical accounts of alien activity with which Howard filed his latest find under false claims and carried on with his customary Sunday activities. These