The Blind Writer: Finding Faith Beyond Our Christian Subculture

By Matt Bays

Church sucks and then you die!

At 30 years old Matt Bays found himself almost out of faith. Since then he has pursued healing from his church of origin, and from christianity with a small “c.” This book traces his journey from there, wherever that was, to a God that can handle all of us, exactly as we are.

If you are looking for something beyond christian bumper stickers, prayer of Jabez belt buckles, Jesus t-shirts, or K-Love, this book is for you.

Matt Bays is the worship leader at Northview Church near Indianapolis. He has a wife and two daughters, a dog, and had a fish, “Rocket,” may God rest his soul.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Aug 18, 2014
• ISBN: 9781312446496

Book preview

The Blind Writer: Finding Faith Beyond Our Christian Subculture

The Blind Writer

finding faith beyond our Christian subculture

by: Matt Bays

The Blind Writer                                                                     

finding faith beyond our Christian subculture

©2008 by Matt Bays

ISBN 978-1-4507-6483-4

Jacket Design by: Sheri DePuy

Author Photo by: Beth Harris

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means- electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise- without written permission of Matt Bays.

If you break these book laws plan to be sued.                        

I’m serious, I’ve got an attorney.

For information on ordering copies of The Blind Writer, please visit: www.lulu.com

INTRODUCTION

Will You Take This Hand?

A Rock Star’s Ballad to the Bridegroom

I am writing this because I believe it is important to continue the conversations that are being spoken by so many Christian believers and Christian leaders about an up and coming generation of people who are looking for something altogether different regarding the subject of faith and religion as it relates to Christianity.  I am one of those people.  I am also one of those leaders. 

Because I have this fire in my belly to be a part of the conversation in a specific way, I am writing with a target audience in mind, that being those people who are interpreting or re-interpreting their Christian faith in a new way.  Not new as in fog machines and electric guitars.  Also not new as in lit candles and liturgies mingled in worship times.  These conversations are not about method or medium.  What I am interested in is soulful and alive, not mechanical.  It is about journey, testing, honesty, self inventory and accountability, which will very hopefully lead us to a better understanding of what it means to be a more radiant bride for the bridegroom. 

There are all kinds of stories to tell…on me and on you.  Stories that will reveal our idiocy and our egos, but also our deep passion, perseverance and our triumphs.  Much of what you will read comes out of the painful circumstances that so many of us have either heard about or lived through; that have perhaps left our faith shaken, misunderstood, re-understood, or continuing to evolve. 

By the end of these readings, it is my hope that you will have a more honest approach to your personal faith and a better understanding of how to navigate through it.  There is no doubt that we are stepping into very turbulent waters whenever we …work out our faith with fear and trembling. (Phil 2:12)  Can problems arise?  Absolutely.  Will we get some things wrong?  Without question.  Having all the answers is not possible, which isn’t something we should feel the need to defend.  Our Christian faith is a canvas, no longer blank, that has been filled with many brilliant and beautiful colors and brush strokes.  But there are also parts of the canvas that are looking a little more like a preschool craft project, and not in a good way.  It is because of this that many of us have felt that our faith doesn’t really matter that much, or that our faith isn’t working anymore, or worst of all, have completely walked away from it in search of something that yields the mystery of life and love that we long for.

For the last eight years I have found myself in the pursuit of changing the way I view Jesus and the church.  I came to a point in my life where nothing else seemed to matter more than searching for Jesus; the real Jesus.  And I went after Him like Kirstie Alley went after Jenny Craig.  I have changed as a result of this pursuit.  My faith is still in Jesus, but Jesus looks much different to me than He used to.  I’ve always seen Jesus the same way: sandals, beard, a robe and curtain tie-back around His waist.  But one day it was as if I had gone on vacation and arrived home to find Him with a clean shaven face and wearing Crocs and blue jeans.  He looked a lot more like me than I’d ever seen before.  He was still my Savior, but much more real than I’d ever known Him to be.  And He could handle me, every ounce of me, exactly as I was. 

What is in these pages is in no way an attempt to slam the faith I grew up with; (although there will be slams.)  It is an attempt to REVEAL some of the ways our progress, as Jesus followers, has been slower than it should be, and in some ways, no different from the pursuits that separated us from His kingdom before we gave our lives to Him.

The Cart Before the Horse

Having the cart before the horse can really complicate a journey; still it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take it.  A lot of what you are going to be reading in this book is about shedding the cloak of a subculture within Christianity.  Most of us who have been raised in evangelically Christian homes are a part of this Christian subculture whether we realize it or not.  I would love it if we could all shed the cloak of the Christian subculture before we begin, but since this book is about shedding that cloak, it just wouldn’t work.  Some of you will know exactly what I’m talking about in this book because you are in the process of shedding the cloak of sub cultural Christianity.  Others of you will be realizing, maybe for the first time, that the cloak of sub cultural Christianity has been keeping you warm for many years.  I want you to know I feel privileged to be a part of this important journey with you.  And lastly, some of you may complete this book, thinking only of someone else who needs to hear this, assuming it has nothing to do with you.  To this last group I would say this; change and growth can only happen if we take a good hard look at ourselves.  Self analysis; taking our own spiritual inventory is the only way we are able to move forward in our journey toward God.

So what is sub cultural Christianity?  What is the Christian subculture?  To me, it is only somewhat definable in words, which I will be using.  It can be described pretty well by making fun of it, so I’ll be doing some of that too.  To break free from it, we must live as Ken Gire encouraged us to do in his book Windows of the Soul; which is living with an awareness that God is speaking to you everyday, in a zillion different ways; that He is around every corner, revealing His message through things that are sometimes, perhaps most times, anything but sacred. 

Sub cultural Christianity is not easy to define.  On the one hand we see it in Christian apparel; a t-shirt that says, Lord’s Gym, instead of a Gold’s gym.  We hear it in the language referred to as "Christian-ese, complete with hallelujahs and amens.  So why is it that we are prone to pray for traveling mercies" at the beginning of a church road trip, but not each day on the way to work?  And what about rated R movies?  We watch them at home but are uneasy at the idea of using clips of them in our churches.  And furthermore, why would we base our approval of a movie’s content on a secular group’s rating system, that being the Motion Picture Association of America?  I mean there are a lot of R rated movies out there that promote a healthy view of God and life, while there are some PG movies that celebrate the very things followers of Jesus are called to live in resistance to. 

Most of what it means to buy into the Christian subculture is to believe in the categories called Secular and Sacred.  While a sacred worldview may sound legit, it is certainly not something Jesus came up with.  The division between what is sacred and what is secular is something man-made not God-made.  You may think this distinction is a good one, that we need it to preserve our faith.  But that would depend on what you are trying to preserve.  Dividing everything into the separate categories of secular and sacred will not save us or anyone else, especially since our faith is not based on what we do, see, use; on how we act or talk; or on what we believe apart from the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and our acceptance of Him; but is solely based on HIS love, HIS forgiveness, and HIS acceptance of us as sons and daughters.  Jesus’ love, forgiveness and acceptance is not something that exists solely within the context of a sacred category.  You will not find His love shelved like a romance novel in the library of Christianity.  It is what everything; all of life (good and bad, secular and sacred) is based on.  Everything is a part of it, but it is a part of nothing.

So what difference does it make if I do live in the Christian subculture?  Can’t that be a good thing?  Isn’t that what being a Christian is about; separating myself from the secular world?  Can’t it work out for good that I wear t-shirts proclaiming God’s name?  And isn’t listening to Christian music a good thing for me?  Well, of course God can use the t-shirt for good, and yes, listening to the music could really affect you in a positive way.  But music, t-shirts and so many other seemingly Christian things do not, of themselves, nor because you wear them, listen to them, say them, eat them (scripture mints), make you a better or real Christian.  Yes, they could be good for you, but…they could also be bad for you. 

Bad?  How?

I believe the difference between living in the subculture of Christianity and just…living, can be of great consequence to our faith and to the thing, as believers, that we are most passionate about; that Jesus is most passionate about: finding and rescuing His children.  And although every believer would consider impeding this process to be a serious detriment to our world, not every believer understands how this happens. Also, not every believer realizes that they still need to be rescued and what that rescuing entails.

We really have no biblical parallel to see what the subculture of Christianity looked like then (circa when Jesus was crucified), since these were the very first Christians.  The closest we can probably get to see a biblical representation of this would be the Pharisees praying loud in the streets and expecting those who call themselves spiritual to do the same and to follow all the rules set up by the religious leaders of their day.  But Jesus did none of these things.  He didn’t push spirituality on people.  He didn’t push prayer for safe travel.  He didn’t push people to dress up like the Pharisees, in long beautiful robes indicating a higher level of spirituality. He asked them to see Him, love Him, and live for Him, and…that’s pretty much it.  He never said pray for a good haircut, silk screen my face on a shirt and wear it, only sing songs about me, read this version of the Bible, call them ‘brother’ and ‘sister,’ wear a cross necklace (preferably gold), if you tattoo, scripture only please, if at all possible buy from Christian vendors, make my last name a brand and place it before things you like; for instance: Christian music, Christian movie, Christian book, Christian herbal remedy, Christian flatware, Christian political candidate, Christian doctor, Christian boy band, Christian poly-blend pantsuit, etc.

Okay, by now you should be getting the point.  Let me close by, once again, saying this: this is not a bashing session.  This is an attempt to pursue the freedom Jesus gave to all of us when He threw Himself on a cross and died for our sins.  I lived for years trying to be a good Christian, which meant something altogether different to me then, than it does now.  And the stories and reflections you are holding in your hands, are a representation of my journey from there, wherever that was, to here. 

As you decide to turn this page and begin, (or not to) you should know that I am not a textbook writer.  I am a storyteller.  Some of the things you read may stir you up and irritate you (I can tend to be a tad cynical).  Some may make you laugh, which would be a great thing.  And some may leave wondering what in the H-E-double hockey sticks I am talking about, also, in my opinion, a good thing.  But like I said, shouldn’t be boring.  That would be such big fat waste of your time, and even more of mine.

BELIEVING

Uncle Sal

When I was little I went to the same church until I was 14.  That’s when my mother decided we needed to be a part of a youth group, of which our little church didn’t have.  To be honest, I was glad we started going to a different church.  There was so much about our church I didn’t like.  Depending on the year (and the pastor) our little church fluctuated anywhere between 25 and 150 people.  It was OLD SCHOOL!  It was like there was a time warp machine set up at the doors and when you walked through them you were instantly transported back to some time in the 1930s or so, complete with long dresses, a lack of cosmetics, and that bullcrap church language where we all called each other brother and sister but only when we were in the church building.  Seriously, if you were to leave the church and drive to the gas station half a mile down the road and see one of the ushers from your church, you would now call him Ernie instead of Brother Ernie simply because he was no longer in the church.  I