It All Began When I Was Born

By Frank J. White

As I look back on my life, some of which appears here in print, I find that who and what we are begins when we are born.

In the beginning we have no choice as to who we are as it is instilled in us through the prominent people in our lives, as well as the environment in which we live.

Yet as we grow in consciousness, the responsibility falls more with us than with anyone or anything else. It becomes all about “our” choices.

This book is about the struggles in my journey of finding that I’ve always had the power to make my life what I want it to be.

My intention for this book is to help, those who now suffer as I did, to find hope.

To tell you not to give up! Not when you’re so close.

Change what you believe about yourself and you will begin to change your life. For the better! Your own personal victory is coming, if you choose it to be so!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Dec 27, 2011
• ISBN: 9781312609150

Book preview

It All Began When I Was Born

It All Began When I Was Born

By Frank J. White

Table Of Contents

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1 In The Beginning

Chapter 2 Life Outside The Home

Chapter 3 And So Began The Adult Years

Chapter 4 Life After The U.S.A.F

Chapter 5 Life Tested What I Had Learned

Chapter 6 Succeeding Only To Fail

Chapter 7 The Beginning Of The End Of Old Me

Chapter 8 The New Me Is Born

Chapter 9 Growing Pains

Chapter 10 The New Me

Chapter 11 Going Forward

Chapter 12 Devine Guidance And Instruction

Chapter 13 The Power Of Beliefs

Chapter 14 And So The Journey Continues

Recommended Authors

Acknowledgements

To God, Great Spirit, My Creator, My Friend. I am grateful for all of my life’s experiences, the good as well as the bad. For in them all I have come to know myself in a way that never could have been otherwise.

To Alana and Megan. My lovely little wonders! You both have brought so much love and joy to my life. I’m so proud and honored to be your Daddy!

To Johnny and Jeanne’ Ford. Thank you for being my Friends!

Introduction

The following chapters are a description of my life as I now see

it. Although this is an abridged version of the story of my life, it

is not meant as an autobiography. It’s actually the story of two

Frank White’s.

There is the first me who was torn by doubt, fear, anguish

and extremely low self esteem. And the second me, that exists

today, happy, loving who I am, and looking forward to an even

greater future.

This is a story of my journey of change, of self acceptance,

and arising from the depths of despair and hopelessness, to become

the person whom I’ve always supposed to have been.

This story is not meant to cast blame on anyone. I don’t tell

of my past challenges to make anyone look bad, and it is

definitely not a poor me pity party story. For I have played my

part in it all, with the choices and decisions I’ve made. I’ve surely

been no angel in my lifetime.

These words are written in the hope that you, the reader, will

take from this reading the realization that you don’t have to keep

on living in hopelessness, despair, unhappiness and self doubt. I

want you to realize that you are not your past and that "your past

does NOT equal your future".

I want you to know that you can change your life by

changing how you see yourself and the possibilities for your

future.

So come with me, and hopefully you will see that you too,

can take your life back and live the life you truly deserve!

Chapter 1   In The Beginning

I was born in 1959 in Illinois. My father (now deceased) was

a black man, and my mother a white woman. I have an older

brother, and four younger sisters.

I’m told that the hospital I was born in was a hospital and a

sanitarium. And back then the word sanitarium was synonymous

with loony bin.

I say that because I sometimes wonder if I was born in the

sanitarium part. You see, my mother has her own personal demons

that she fights, even to this day.

She made me the target of mental, physical and emotional

abuse. I guess I was her means of fighting those demons. Until,

at the age of nineteen, when I left to join the U. S. Air Force.

I regularly heard that I was stupid, no good, and was

even told no one will want ‘something’ like you. To her I wasn’t

even a person I was a ‘thing".

She regularly, until I was about 15 years old, beat me upside the head. I

got used to seeing the flashes of light when she would hit me.

She was very creative in finding ways to torture me. For

example, whenever it was my turn to wash the dishes my mother

would make me wash them in scalding hot water. My hands would

look like boiled lobsters, and