An Empty Box Full of Stuff

By Ornella Sabti

Newlyweds John and Akira were never madly in love. John decided to marry Akira on the basis that it was time to settle. They live a routine life in Roseland, a quiet middle-class suburb of Toronto. Akira befriends their conservative neighbors and demands that John fit her image of what a good husband should be, but it’s not him. John devotes more time to his guitar than to his wife. Desperate for attention, Akira embarks on a lesbian love affair with her old high school classmate Kyla, only to find out Kyla is also a guitarist. Akira is trapped between two people who seem more passionate about their music than about her. Will Akira ever find happiness?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu Publishing Services
• Release date: Jun 15, 2015
• ISBN: 9781483429823

Book preview

‘John’

1

J ohn didn’t care much for his Englishness. He had put that side of him to rest when he immigrated to Canada. He even lost his British accent. So, it is official, he would joke, I look and sound Canadian. Surely, I must be Canadian now. But, when he married Akira, he began to feel awkwardly English again. The other married couples would call them The British Couple. After twenty-five years of living in Canada, he officially became The Englishman for, what seemed, all the reasons he hated being an Englishman.

Greg, another English fellow at the party and John’s old co-worker, took one look at Akira and wouldn’t stop making East Indian slave jokes for the rest of the evening, but always all in good fun as he put it. John laughed politely at Greg’s racist jokes while trying very hard to pretend they weren’t aimed at his loving wife, the woman he was to share the rest of his life with. If John didn’t care about being English, he cared even less about Akira being an Indian woman. What John liked about Akira was that she was different and that was very much John’s type for each woman he had seen over the years had been different from the previous one. He was happy upon his arrival in Toronto many years back when he discovered that he wasn’t the only one who had had the brilliant idea of immigrating to Canada. The Polish, the Chinese, the Jamaicans, the Lebanese were all among some who had come over too and many were nice enough to bring their daughters along. Of course, after much multicultural celebrating on his part, John decided it was time to settle down when he reached well over his forties and his friend Leah had found a suitable match for him: Akira. Because she was an attractive woman who was still only in her early thirties, John felt he couldn’t let the opportunity slip away and asked for her hand in marriage after a couple months of romanticizing her with exotic restaurants, cheesy hand-written poems and sharing made-up stories about each other’s childhoods. Akira said Yes! and moved in with John right away. Their house was in the community of Roseland, a quiet suburb of Toronto.

These neighbourhood dinner parties had shortly after their wedding day become a weekly ritual. Last week they spent the evening with Carol and Michael, who were from the church they had only attended once after Carol had invited them to pass by one Sunday. This Saturday they were dining at Simon and Leah’s, the couple who had set Akira and John together a couple of springs ago. It would be almost two years that they had been married and John was more than proud of himself for not even having considered sleeping with another woman, yet.

Looks like your glass is half-empty, Greg pointed out to John, noticing his sad-looking pint.

Yeah, I might have another.

Why don’t you get Akira to go in the kitchen and fetch you a cold one, eh?

Drop it Greg! It’s getting old now, John said.

John went to the kitchen to fetch himself a cold one and snatched a few cocktail sausages too. He quickly tried to run away from the kitchen when he spotted Carol there. But it was too late for she had caught him.

John! How have you been? she asked.

I’m alright, been busy. How are things with you and Michael?

We’re good, thank you. We were wondering about you the other day. You and Akira don’t come to church anymore?

Well, I could hardly say we ever went to church in the first place. We just thought we’d stop by that one time just to check it out.

You didn’t like it?

Sure! It was very nice.

So we can see you there soon, I hope? she asked with beaming eyes.

I don’t think so Carol. I’m sorry, it’s just that neither of us are, umm, Catholic.

You don’t have to be Catholic, John. Church is for everyone!

I don’t know Carol. It does say ‘Catholic Church’ so I was under the impression it was for Catholics.

Well, I understand, Carol said disapprovingly.

We might come to the summer barbeque next month, he added hesitantly when he didn’t like the aftertaste of this conversation that had gone sour.

Oh, good! It’s for charity, you know? All the profit goes to feed Toronto’s starving welfare population, she explained. John knew all of this already as this was Saint Patrick’s fifth annual Eat for Hunger barbeque that he would attend.

Religion had seemed to be something more abstract in Canada to John than it had back in the United Kingdom. Catholicism was more of an old trend that was back into fashion, rather than a religion, in Ontario. John blamed the Ontario school system for this. In Ontario, there were public schools and Catholic schools. Both were run by the government now, but the government, through much pressure from the Catholic community, had always ended up funding more money to the Catholic schools. A lot of that money was spent on fancy uniforms, larger fields, and Catechism lessons. Although John was very grateful towards the Canadian government for sponsoring barely legal teenage girls in short tartan skirts, he didn’t like the idea of schools being a forceful religious institution. However, John noticed Canadian parents seemed to rather like it, and so they would, year after year, send their unbaptized children to Catholic schools for the prestige of a Catholic education and watch their children dressed up in proper academic attire. Even his own Akira, who was born to a Hindu family in Mississauga, which was just outside of Toronto, had been a fashion victim of the Ontario Ministry of Education.

There you are! Akira said as she popped up from behind John. What are you doing in this corner by yourself? I thought you were with Greg.

I was. Then I bumped into Carol. I’m trying to hide from both of them.

Carol? I didn’t know she was here. How is she?

Since when do you care?

She’s from the church, John, Akira said in a stern tone of voice.

Yes, the same one we don’t go to, John added sarcastically.

"Because you don’t want to go! I think we should go more often."

It was exactly this sort of unpredictable behaviour in Akira that made John feel like he had married a schizophrenic. One day she would be Hindu, the next day she was a Catholic Canuck. Most of the times, she didn’t know what she was and happily leaned on John’s English identity during these gatherings. Akira, of course, was an exception to John’s anti-Catholic rule. He secretly didn’t mind it so much if she took a liking into it if it meant keeping her far away from what he considered to be any strange Hindu values and traditions.

Akira grabbed John by the elbow, dragging him like a child back to the kitchen to find Carol.

Carol! Akira shouted enthusiastically.

Akira! Carol answered back as if the two had been old childhood friends and hadn’t seen each other in ages.

So glad to see you again! John and I were just discussing about going to church more often.

Really? Carol asked, with a puzzled look on her face directed towards John. "Well, tomorrow is Sunday."

That’s right! We’ll be there.

Thus, it was decided on that evening that John would let his Hindu wife force him into attending Catholic Church for God only knows what reason. Only in bloody Canada! John thought.

2

A kira was digging through her jewellery box.

Why don’t you wear those bracelets you like so much? John suggested.

Don’t be silly! I’m not going to wear my Hindu bangles at a Catholic church. Akira still tried her bangles on.

Oh, I’m pretty sure we already past the silly mark last night when we told Carol we would be coming at all.

Besides, Akira started as she wiggled her arm full of colourful, beaded bangles, it would be so ridiculous if I were jingling around.

"Well, you don’t have to wrap your whole self in them like you do. Have you ever considered just wearing a couple of bangles, like normal bracelets?"

Oh, so you think I’m ridiculous?

"You said you were ridiculous! My job is to agree with whatever you say. For once, I can honestly say you’re right because I think you’re being ridiculous right now."

I just don’t know what to wear!

Then please, Akira, let’s just not go. The whole thing is ridiculous! John pleaded.

No John! We’re going, Akira suddenly said in that similar harsh voice she used on him last night.

Why do we have to go?

Because, I was thinking about what Reverend Mulligan said.

About what?

About going to church. He’s right! Too often do people make excuses to not go to church because we assume we already know what’s right.

Don’t we?

No, we don’t. Everyone is doing what he or she thinks is right, but only God knows what’s right. So this is why we have to go to church.

Maybe we’re all doing what’s right for us.

That is selfish! I just think it would be good for us to be reminded of what is truly right.

Well, I still don’t think we were doing so bad trying to figure that out for ourselves.

John locked himself in the bathroom to shower while Akira was still deciding on what to wear from the pile of clothes she had made on their bed.

***

They both walked into the church holding hands. She had finally decided to wear her sombre grey pencil skirt from her work clothes with a white silk top which she complemented with a fake pearl necklace that she thought looked real. It was much less complicated for John who had just picked one of his suits at random which he wore with his only clean shirt.

Akira! Come sit with us, Carol said to the couple as she welcomed them at the entrance.

Of course! Akira followed Carol with her grip on John’s hand.

John rolled his eyes when he found out they were seated at the front. He hid himself at the right end of the pew. Akira sat next to him. Carol and Michael squeezed in right after.

Here, Carol said to Akira and she handed her a pamphlet. It was a copy of this Sunday’s readings.

Akira shared it with John and they flipped quietly through the pages trying to figure out where to start. They sat through the entire service, which lasted for what felt like the whole Sunday. John was trying to listen to the Priest, but the sermon sounded so foreign to him that he was unsure if he were even talking in English.

Yes, of course he’s talking in English! Akira whispered angrily into his ear.

Sorry, it must be some kind of Catholic-Canuck dialect I’ve never heard, he whispered back.

Shh! She gave him a cold look.

After Akira had shushed him, John just sat quietly for the remainder of the sermon until it was finally all over.

At the end of Mass, the two couples walked out to the parking lot together. As Michael opened Carol’s door, Carol waved and smiled at the other couple.

So we’ll see you again next week? she asked Akira.

Of course! Before Carol sat in the car, Akira added, You two should come over for dinner one evening.

That would be lovely!

Why don’t you two come by next Saturday?

Sure.

When Michael and Carol drove off, John and Akira went in their car. John paused before starting the engine.

"You could’ve asked me before inviting people over to our home," he said.

Oh? Because I need your permission now, do I?

"No, you don’t need my permission. It would just be nice to talk things over together before making decisions, like a couple!"

You’re raising your voice for nothing, John. It’s just dinner. It’s not like we had plans anyway.

Fine.

They drove home not saying a single word to each other the whole way back.

3

S ummer was approaching and John finally had something to look forward to. Summers in Ontario rhymed with long weekends at the cottage, barbeques, cold beers by the lake, and, more interestingly, it meant a new young female intern would come on board at his work. He had never slept with any of these students because they were all too young for him, but having beautiful fresh-faced females prance around in short skirts at his office did make work more pleasant. He didn’t feel guilty about fancying them so long as he kept a safe distance away from them.

He sat quietly at his desk deleting all his junk email then reading jokes sent to him by his colleagues he got every Monday morning to kick off the workweek. His friend and co-worker Gordy popped in his office.

Hey Buddy! How was your weekend? Gordy asked.

I went to church, John mumbled without paying much attention to his own words as he kept staring at his screen.

Church? Gordy asked confused.

Akira wants us to go to church now.

Oh? I didn’t think you guys were religious.

Trust me, neither did I.

Gordy looked at his friend who was buried in his desk. He shut the door and pulled out a seat in front of him.

Listen, me and some guys go to this strip club every week. You should come with us.

I don’t think so Gordy.

Look at you! You are whipped! You need this. The ladies at The Fab are gorgeous. Some of them are so nice too. You’ll fall in love with them!

Thanks, but I’ll pass. I never liked strip joints. The ladies just tease you there. You end up paying way too much for what you get.

So what are you saying John? Gordy asked with a cheeky smirk on his face.

Get outta my office Gordy! I didn’t mean that. I am not looking for anything!

Hey, you better watch out next week. You know what’s coming.

Behave, Gordy! These girls are here to learn.

And I plan to teach them. Don’t worry, I am very careful with jailbait.

Gordy stood up and opened the door. As he was about to walk out of the office, he turned to John.

Lindsay! he cried.

Who?

That’s her name. The intern that’s coming next week.

Gordy, I told you, I don’t care!

"Well, you should care John! ’Cause she is going to be your assistant. No joke." He winked at him and left.

John was left alone in his office, glancing at the screen full of jokes he suddenly didn’t think were as funny as they had been just moments ago. It reminded him that this was as entertaining as his life got: hearing the same jokes repeated over and over again, but told a slightly different way and that he could have very well googled himself. Maybe Gordy was right about him. He had become the joke! A lot of guys would feel lucky about having Lindsay on board as their assistant so maybe he should too. After all, he could somehow find some sort of fulfillment in mentoring a young and ambitious student.

***

A couple of weeks ago before they had started going to church and befriending Carol and Michael, John was still surprised that he and Akira had been married for already two years. Now as he watched her turn their whole house around, shuffling CDs, boxing certain DVDs and baking recipes from Cozy Home, he began to wonder if it had been only two years.

Why don’t you make butter chicken? John suggested. You make the best butter chicken!

Because they’ll think we just eat Indian food.

We should be so lucky! I prefer Indian curry any day to these dry finger foods. Can you at least take out the chutney for dipping so that we can offer our guests some flavour?

You’re always making jokes, John!

But you never laugh at them. I am just trying to have fun with you. You seem so unhappy these days.

I’m not! I’m just trying to prepare this meal. It’s hard work.

"I’d hate to remind you, but this was your idea."

I know!

Well, can’t we just have a good time this evening?

I will as soon as I’m done with everything. I promise, tonight will be fun.

Akira closed the box with all the forbidding rock CDs from John’s album collection and DVDs that had one too many sex scene or gunshot. She dragged the box to their bedroom and hid it under the bed.

The doorbell rang and Akira almost shrieked.

It’s them! she cried.

Probably, John said calmly.

Akira rushed to open the door and greeted her guests. She looked over both her shoulders expecting to find John next to her, but he hadn’t followed her to the door. He was seated comfortably in the sofa chair in the living room, already nibbling at the tacos and salsa dip.

Carol and Michael followed Akira to the living room and John still did not budge. He gave them a simple hello as they sat together on the couch in front of him. Akira offered them taco chips, but they refused.

Why don’t you get the drinks, John?

Sure, what would you like to have? We have everything!

Well, I’ll have what you’re having, John, and Carol usually just has a glass of wine, Michael answered.

Sure.

John went to the kitchen to prepare the drinks. He came back out with two glasses of white wine for the ladies and brought him and Michael the whole bottle of whisky. Akira said tonight was going to be fun. So let’s have some fun!

Cheers! John lifted his glass full of whisky to everyone.

Cheers! They all chanted back to him and took the first sip of their poison.

After a few drinks and church gossip, they sat at the dining table. Akira served them the chicken fingers with mashed potatoes. Michael had taken up John’s offer for seconds and they both finished what was left of the dish to Akira’s delight.

When dinner was over, the ladies were in the kitchen cleaning up while the men sat on the couch in the living room on a mission of their own to finish that bottle of whisky.

So are you a Manchester United fan? Michael asked, trying desperately to spark up a buddy conversation about sports.

I’m actually originally from Birmingham.

I really like soccer!

The conversation drowned when the two had finally confessed they only watched a few games during the World Cup that knocked on their door every four years. It always made for an awkward conversation when these Canadian guys tried to impress John with their know-nothing knowledge of a game John was not a big fan of. He had never watched much football back in England, and watched even less of it in Canada where he had learned to accept calling it soccer.

The ladies came back from the kitchen and joined the men in the living room.

So what were the two of you talking about? Carol asked.

We were just talking about soccer, Michael said as though he had accomplished something important.

Well, I bet John is a big soccer fan. Aren’t you, John? Carol asked.

John is from England and soccer is really big there, Akira added.

Yeah, John is actually a Birmingham fan, Michael told the women.

John sat there mute while watching them talk about soccer and how it was apparently his favourite sport. Everyone had a say about him being such a soccer nut. As they went on talking, he continued drinking shots of whisky to distract himself from the conversation. By the end of the evening, he was a VIP member of the Canadian Club.

It’s getting late. We have to get up early for church tomorrow, Michael said politely.

Of course! So do we! Akira said proudly.

We have to go in extra early tomorrow to start organizing this year’s Eat for Hunger barbeque coming in a couple of weeks. John said you two might come, Carol told Akira.

Of course we’ll come to the barbeque! We have gone to it together for the last couple of years.

Well good! It’s for charity! All the money goes to feed Toronto’s hungry poor, Carol reminded them again.

John walked the couple to the front door as Akira went to grab their jackets from the closet.

Thanks again for having us Akira, Carol said. She and Michael slowly stepped out of the house and John feared they were never going to actually leave.

It was our pleasure! You two have a good night.

Goodnight! Carol and Michael cried back to them and John shut the door behind them.

When they were alone again, Akira told John, Well, I think the evening went well.

Yeah, sure.

Maybe you and Michael could go watch a soccer game together one day?

I don’t think so.

Why not? You two seemed to really hit it off.

I was being polite. Just for the record, I hate soccer!

Oh we were just talking.

Well, now you know. So maybe you should think twice before suggesting that I go watch soccer with some church fellow.

Alright, I’m sorry.

John didn’t add anything.

They both got ready for bed. Akira removed her makeup, brushed her teeth, and put on her nightgown gracefully. John simply slid off his pants and stumbled onto the bed shirtless wearing nothing but his boxers.

John?

What?

I was thinking…

About what?

Maybe we should have a baby.

"Well