Merry Hanukkah

By Debby Caruso

Meet Rhonda, a semi-neurotic ad agent and Christmas fanatic,
who decides she’s going to make a fabulous Hanukkah
celebration for her new husband James and his family.
In the midst of trying to create the perfect day, Rhonda meets with
various roadblocks: a hostile mother-in-law who takes the joy out of
any day

• Language: English
• Publisher: Debra Caruso
• Release date: Sep 18, 2018
• ISBN: 9781732519015

Book preview

Merry Hanukkah

Copyright © 2018 Debby Caruso

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Book cover design and interior formatting by Tugboat Design

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Acknowledgements

Chapter One

It’s more perfect than I imagined. I look around, but I feel as if I’m standing outside myself as I breathe in the garden.

I look to James and see him framed by gorgeous flowers and all forms of greenery, things I can’t even hope to pronounce, and I smile.

Our eyes hold for a long moment, and then I let loose a conspiratory giggle.

I DO! I practically shout. I turn to acknowledge the crowd as I hear loud clapping and a wolf whistle, and I’m sure I’m grinning from ear to ear. And as I turn back to both the Priest and the Rabbi standing behind us, halfway under the chuppa, we kiss that first sweet kiss.

Out of the corner of my eye I see the Priest and the Rabbi bump into each other, eagerly waiting to give the next instruction, however I am consumed with James, passionately kissing, standing in the center of my long-held dream.

When we part, I catch Uncle Ben’s eye. Apparently my grin is contagious.

James, we still have a glass here that looks like it needs breaking, the Rabbi instructs.

We share a look. James snatches the linen-wrapped glass out of the hand of the hovering rabbi, and at the moment that his foot crushes the glass, the right side of the assembled guests shouts out, Mazel Tov!

And the left side, Amen!

Chapter Two

I’ve decided I never want to stop dancing. I look up and see the white lights strung from every corner, held together in a gorgeous arrangement right above my head in the center of the tent. There’s a crowd around us now, and as James pulls me close, I hear several oohs and aahs hit the air. He pulls me in, grabs a quick kiss, and then extends his arm so I dance away in a flirtatious maneuver we had practiced once or twice.

There is a seven piece band on the stage playing L-O-V-E, and as the song ends, the lead singer of the band calls everyone’s attention.

Oh! Rhonda and James…you two are too…are too… She doesn’t finish the sentence, rather begins making strange hand gestures and blinking wildly at the crowd. Then she laughs maniacally, as if she is in on some sort of hilarious joke. She is the stereotype of a wedding singer gone bad: a late-fifties wanna-be rock star with high hair, heavy lipstick, and exaggerated enthusiasm. She stops abruptly, then carries on. Well! Well! We’ve got a special request from Uncle…Ben!

I hear her mumbling then, half-into the microphone, as she grabs a piece of wadded-up paper and adjusts her skirt, Oh, like the rice!

I cannot imagine what she’s been drinking all night, and decide it’s no big deal as long as she stays standing. And singing.

Uncle Ben crosses the dance floor and steals me away from James. At that moment, the band lurches into a raucous rendition of Help Me Rhonda by the Beach Boys.

He starts it.

We begin shouting the lyrics back and forth, all while dancing and laughing. We’re making a spectacle of ourselves and we don’t care one whit, and as I come up for air, I see James with a great big smile, drinking us in from the sideline.

Uncle Ben pulls me close and whispers in my ear.

You, my dear, are more than I ever hoped for James. Then he twirls me.

As I come back, I almost shout. Uncle Ben, you’re the best!

He winks, and we finish the song with flair. As we exit the dance floor, I nod towards my mother-in-law, who is chain-smoking and scowling at me from a nearby table.

I only wish she felt the same.

Viv? Please, don’t let my sister-in-law bother you. She’s only happy when she’s miserable. He laughs a loud and hearty laugh, and gives me a pat on the shoulder. Now go find your husband.

I cross the dance floor to find James in conversation with his grandfather.

I put my arm around his waist, and my head on his shoulder. I take a moment to listen to the banter between them.

I agree, Grandpa. I’m going to have Uncle Ben light the first cigar later on, and Grandma shouldn’t say anything because tonight is a special night.

I try to hide my grin in James’s sleeve.

Rhonda, take notes, dear. A man needs a cigar on a night such as this. He nods his head sagely, but there is a twinkle in his eye.

I reach down to plant a big kiss on his cheek. He turns his wheelchair more towards me.

Grandpa, I not only agree, I may just join in the festivities right along with you fellas.

Really? Grandpa gives James a worried look.

She’s joking, Grandpa. James turns to face me. Grandpa isn’t that progressive. He pulls a face and I stifle a giggle. After a few more moments, we decide to eat something…finally. People warned me that you never get a chance to eat on your wedding day, but I never did take them seriously.

I’m famished! I say this to James through a huge hunk of bread that I just stuffed in my mouth sideways. I’m about to wash it down with some wine when Desiree comes barreling up to me.

Conference! Ladies Lounge! Presto! Change-o! Now!

I am chewing and making hand gestures towards my plate, to no avail. I should know better. Desiree is a force that will not be denied.

You’ve got your whole lives to eat together. Come! Now! Desiree begins to tug on my arm. She smiles benignly at James. This will only take a sec.

James, his mouth crammed with food, nods and makes some sort of hand gesture as if to say, Go.

The next thing I know I am being pulled across the dance floor by my maid of honor. In the shuffle, I grab another drink off the tray of a passing waiter.

Thanks! I call to him.

And Dez! This dress only goes about FIVE MPH! I’m coming! Chill out! I’m trying to drink and not spill in a two thousand pound frock of white.

I don’t want you to miss this.

We make a circuitous route through the reception and into the house, navigating a narrow corridor, and then pulling to a stop outside an ornate door with a flower painted on it.

Desiree presses her finger to her lips and then ushers me inside the door. We stand silently in the anteroom and after a moment begin to hear voices from the room adjacent. Desiree puts her head up against the adjoining wall and motions me closer. We’re trying to eavesdrop over the sound of toilets flushing and running water at the sink.

All I’m saying, Viv, is that you better get it together. You’re a little happy already, and we still have to take family pictures. Plus, look at your lipstick! Aunt Bunny makes a tsk-tsk sound that echoes in the bathroom, and Dez and I are just about holding it together ourselves.

"I don’t care about