Sacred Gifts Of A Short Life: Uncovering The Wisdom Of Our Pets End Of Life Journeys

By Elizabeth Ann Fernandez

“Sacred Gifts of a Short Life”, a 152 page publication, chronicles the end of life journeys of several of Dr. Liz’s patients in a way that allows us all to see death from the perspective of both profound sadness, and precious sacredness.

Sacred Gifts of a Short Life takes us on an exploration of some of the difficult

• Language: English
• Publisher: Wisdom Paws Publishing
• Release date: May 9, 2019
• ISBN: 9780578511313

Elizabeth Ann Fernandez

Listening to the call of her heart from an early age, the author chose to pursue a life's work based on what she loved. From as early as age six she was passionate about animals and medicine. By age eight she was clear that she would be a veterinarian. After graduating from veterinary school in 1982 she worked in emergency medicine for many years. This experience, and the loss of both parents within a few years of graduating formed a foundation for seeing an abundance of end of life scenarios and the ensuing emotional challenges. In late 2001, trusting the voice within to guide her, she was inspired to study Chinese Veterinary Medicine. Over a period of several years she transitioned from the intensity of western emergency medicine to the intimacy of holistic housecall and acupuncture practice. The patient demographic of this type of practice lends itself to the geriatric patient. Thus the emphasis on end of life narratives. During this same time she was introduced to Adyashanti, a spiritual teacher with no specific religious affiliation, who offered a very clear and simple perspective about death. Resonating with these deep truths she began to share this wisdom with clients. Most often words would simply flow unbidden from her lips finding a receptive ear that would immediately find comfort and resonance with the truth of what had been spoken. Witnessing these occurrences, she began to reiterate these ideas with others, to the same effect. It was some time after that, that she found herself surrounded more and more with clients searching for ways to navigate these end of life issues. The volume of these situations brought with it much sadness. After some soul searching she asked what this sadness wanted of her. The answer that came through was that this book wanted to be written. As if to reenforce this, more than one client literally shared with her that she should "write a book"! So it became evident that this book was to be birthed. www.lizfernandezdvm.com

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

— ABRAHAM LINCOLN

Veterinarians have a unique relationship with death. In this society, ours is the only profession sanctioned to euthanize a living being because they are loved, and not because they are being punished or to be used as food. During my thirty-plus-year career, I have personally euthanized hundreds of beloved pets. People often tell me and my colleagues that they don't know how we can do it. Many share that this was the one reason they didn't become a veterinarian. For many who did choose this profession, this is the part of the career that is the most challenging. If we don't have a good relationship with death ourselves, it can be difficult to help others when they are facing the death of a loved one. Veterinarians can be very good at compartmentalizing feelings in order to cope. This may well be a contributing factor in why the suicide rate for veterinarians is higher than average.

In 2001 I chose to shift my focus from emergency medicine to Traditional Chinese Veterinary Medicine. I decided to begin offering acupuncture and Chinese Medicine via a house call practice. Seeing my clients and patients weekly, biweekly or monthly, I soon developed a very intimate relationship with them. It was common for me to have multiple in-depth discussions about death and quality of life.

At first, I didn't offer in-home euthanasias. I didn't want to become known as doctor death. I also didn't feel I could sustain myself, emotionally, with a practice where I spent a large portion of my time euthanizing pets. However, as I watched my patients age and deteriorate, I realized I actually wanted to be the one who helped them transition peacefully into death while in their home, surrounded by those they loved. I also realized that it was equally important for the family.

The intimacy of these journeys invited me to explore death more deeply. I was already familiar with death at a very personal level. Both my parents died when I was in my late twenties, shortly after I graduated from veterinary school. My mom died first. She was fifty-two. My dad was fifty-four when he died nineteen months later. They both died of lung cancer. My siblings and I were the primary caregivers for them during their illnesses. My exploration of the spiritual realm began during that time.

By the time I started offering in-home euthanasias through my house call practice, I was beginning to see death through a broader lens. Mark Twain wrote, The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. Adyashanti, a spiritual teacher I admire immensely, tells us to die while you're alive and be set free, and that meditation is a dress rehearsal for death. I began experiencing death as simply a movement of love, a movement of life.

My most intimate and profoundly moving example of this was when I euthanized my cat, Willie. I did it on my pillow on my bed. He was ready, and finally so was I. He wouldn't eat, and that morning he wouldn't purr. After I gave him the final injection I laid his warm, limp body on my lap and began to meditate. Willie loved meditating with me, so I felt this was the perfect way to say goodbye. I simply allowed myself to feel into the void, to feel the stillness.

As I sat there with my hands over Willie's heart, I suddenly felt a strong, warm sensation enter my hands, radiate through my body, and fill my heart with love. I smiled and tears ran down my face. I thanked him and kissed him, feeling so blessed and grateful. This was one of my firsthand experiences of the no-thing that remains. As I lost Willie's physicality, I became acutely aware of this eternal love that had been, and would forever be, within me.

There can be excruciating pain here. There is immense vulnerability is this space. There is also incredible vitality and intimacy as well. The veil between the world of love in form and the world of formless love is lifted. It is very foreign to many of us. Yet, here there is a grounding peace and openness.

That day I was both sad and in a very sacred space. I know my patients felt it because they were unusually calm and cooperative. This observation was also affirmed by their people even though I chose not to share my morning events with them due to the challenges they were facing themselves.

This book is obviously for people who have pets. It is also for anyone in the veterinary profession who deals with euthanasia. I especially hope that veterinary students will find it helpful. By my offering scenarios for them to consider while not in the midst of emotionally-charged life and death situations, it is my hope that students and young veterinarians can more peacefully and confidently offer guidance, infused with compassion and love. I also hope it gives them a healthier relationship with death, so they can navigate their own inner terrain with the same compassion and love.

Since this book is ultimately a book about death, it may be beneficial for anyone who works in the healthcare industry or a profession that deals closely with death. Death is (without exception) a topic that applies to all of us. From that perspective, this book may be worthwhile for anyone. It offers perspectives on how we can learn to see death in a way that is not frightening or overwhelming. That is not to say that we will not be deeply affected by death, or that we can rise above it. On the contrary, my purpose here, as well as that of our short-lived furry loved ones, is to invite you to fully experience the devastation one feels from death, and to begin to see that this is only half of the experience. It is my personal sense that we must be willing to experience the downside of death fully in order to appreciate the sacred blessing that is also simultaneously and always present.

There are signs that this topic of death is beginning to come out of the shadows. This makes sense with the aging of us, baby boomers. Recently, Death Cafes have begun to spring up around the globe. These are simply groups of people who get together over tea and talk about death. There is a growing industry of in-home funerals and death midwifery. In November of 2014, NPR did a five-week series on death. There was also a recent article in the Sunday Los Angeles Times Magazine, entitled Death Redesigned. The idea presented was that death has a negative image, and it would be a good idea to rebrand it!

It feels like this book is part of a much bigger movement towards this idea of redesigning death. I invite you to entertain the idea that there is something eternal, something formless, that outlives our physical form. Some may call it love, while others might call it divinity. There is also our physical form, which we call our humanity. The formless divinity or love is the essence of life. Our physical form or humanity is the manifestation of life. Death is the doorway into this formless essence.

This book chronicles the intimate journeys of people and their four- legged loved ones as they faced the reality of death. My purpose is to illustrate that each of us can and ultimately will face this reality for those we love, and for ourselves as well. This book is not a prescription. It offers a perspective of death that, hopefully, allows us to meet death in all its mystery and accept it on its terms.

What I know to be true is that the form this takes is infinitely varied. There is no way to know what you are going to do, or what is best to do, until you are faced with the reality before you. The key is to be open to what is happening in the moment, and let the wisdom within guide you.

Many of us have much difficulty being open and tapping into that inner wisdom when we are emotionally distraught. It is a myth of our modern society that we can (or should) know, or that someone else knows, the right thing to do in these situations. This is an impossible assumption because there is no right or wrong. I have attempted to provide some guideposts and reference points that can be helpful, but these are only maps. As it has been said, the map is not the territory. Each situation is unique and must be honored as such. We are each capable. We are invited by life to choose our unique path based on the information at hand. We are free to adjust, amend or abort our chosen path if circumstances suggest this is needed.

Death is not an easy topic to explore. That