Before And After You Say I Do

By PhD LPCS Kirby Edwena B.

No one marries with the intent of getting a divorce; yet, preparation for marriage is often inadequate. In this guide for building and maintaining a successful marriage, Dr. Kirby will help put your mind at ease as you prepare for life’s most important journey. You will become more aware of what you need to know about marriage before and a

• Language: English
• Publisher: Palmetto Publishing Group
• Release date: Feb 17, 2020
• ISBN: 9781641117722

PhD LPCS Kirby Edwena B.

Edwena Kirby, PhD, LPCS, is a licensed professional counselor, therapist, school social worker, child and family support team leader, advocate, and mentor with more than 30 years of experience working with marriage and family issues. Dr. Kirby specializes in marriage and couples counseling, anger management, trauma, and PTSD. She has participated in training at the Yale Child Development Center, and worked at the Department of Human Resources, Department of Social Services, and State of North Carolina Department of Education. She has been married for nearly thirty years and has one child. Dr. Kirby has authored two other books: Through the Lens of the Disadvantaged and The Essential Measures for Student Success.

Book preview

Introduction

A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).

Marriage is one of the most impactful experiences an individual will ever have. With this in mind, would it be helpful for you and your partner to write down and discuss what your specific roles will be in building a strong successful marriage? Have you ever asked yourself what will I do before and after I marry to have the joy and happiness I desire? Few people do, leaving many inadequately prepared for marriage. Would you agree no one marries with the intent of getting a divorce? And do you believe it takes the efforts of both individuals to make a marriage work?

Marriage is legal and emotional connections. From the legal connection, there is a concern of divorce, which often causes financial burdens. When the lives of two are separated, there is emotional trauma that is often experienced by many, including children, parents and other family members. The repetitive observation of this form of conflict causes a plethora of individuals to never see a successful marriage. As a response to their emotional feelings, reservations and apprehensions mount surrounding getting married. Some people term it cold feet.

The truth is every marriage experiences some form of conflict. Apostle Paul affirms this when he says, "Those who marry will face many troubles in life (1 Corinthians 7:28). Many studies support that conflict is inevitable; however, difficulties in marriage can be resolved when genuine efforts are made to resolve them.

There is a general consensus that the goal of every couple is to have a lifetime of happiness. If couples are ill prepared and or are too immature for the on-going work, sacrifices, and commitment that marriage requires, the likelihood of success decreases. To create happiness, a