Battered Broken and Abused: The Subtitle of the Book

By Monessa Tingle

Battered, Broken and Abused

The masks she wore early on, were only meant to cover the outward parts of her life that she didn't want others to see.  But, as the years went by, she found those masks were necessary to cover both inward and outward abuse.  Abuse can begin in the ho

• Language: English
• Publisher: Monessa Tingle
• Release date: Jun 9, 2020
• ISBN: 9781087886855

Monessa Tingle

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Book preview

1

Introduction

Sometimes people look at you and have no clue as to what you’ve been through or are going through. They look at how you’re dressed, how your hair looks, what your makeup looks like and how you are behaving and place judgement on you merely because of that. However, some of us know how to suffer in silence and have it down to a science. I am a living testimony of the cliché saying, I Don’t Look Like, What I Have Been Through!

I was battered, broken and abused but no one knew because I was ashamed, embarrassed and just plain scared to tell anyone. There were a very select few in my inner circle who had knowledge of something but not sure what, but their hands were tied since I would not allow them to do anything about it. This cycle continued for the better part of my life and seeped into every area of it. It was like I was a magnet for abuse in all forms.

Growing up I’d witnessed my alcoholic father deal with my mother and my siblings in an abusive manner. When he died, the matriarch of our family continued the cycle, with manipulation and emotional abuse. (At least when it came to me.) Various relationships that I had were abusive. Abuse comes in different forms, but I will talk about the ones that I have experienced. There’s mental, verbal/emotional, financial, manipulation and the more common one, physical. I believe that my parents used all of these at some point in time while dealing with our family. This seed was planted into my mind and life and out of lack of knowledge, became a stronghold.

I remember watching my father abuse my siblings physically and for no real reason other than the fact that he had been drinking and they were sitting there. His reasoning was that they needed to be toughened up. He used his weight as the head of the household to be abusive in any way he saw fit. These times occurred in a 50/50 split between when he was drinking and when he was making a conscious decision to be abusive.

Once, I was scheduled to go over a friend’s house for a sleepover. It had been planned for a whole week. I was so excited and had been well behaved. She called to say that she and her father were on their way to pick me up. As I sat there patiently and quietly waiting at the dining room table with my father next to me, eating dinner in a drunken state, he looks at me