Sinister Intent: Book 2 in the #1 bestselling Red Dust Novel Series

By Linda Dowling

Sinister Intent is the #1 bestselling book two in Linda Dowling's Red Dust Novel Series, being developed for screen by acclaimed Australian filmmaker Jayden Cummins.

HUNTED. THREATENED. RUINED.

Will Lisa O'Connor's s

• Language: English
• Publisher: Linda Dowling
• Release date: Sep 1, 2020
• ISBN: 9780648714835

Linda Dowling

Linda Dowling grew up in the Western suburbs of Sydney, Australia. During her childhood, she spent most of her time in rural areas and has continued to enjoy life in the bush or in areas with natural surrounds. Her aunt, a wonderful horsewoman, lived in Carinda, New South Wales and taught her a great deal about horses, riding and the outback. It was during her vacations with her aunt that Linda herself fell in love with the vast outback plains and the Aboriginal culture, their stories and their unique but simple way of living. Linda has a natural affinity with Indigenous peoples and was the only white girl selected to play for the Papua New Guinea softball teams at the Pan Pacific Masters. In her professional life, Linda has established and managed four medico-legal firms, including her own. During the course of her career, she has been involved in reporting on coronal matters and inquests. She has also worked with the NSW Police State Crime Command Centre and in various Royal Commissions where she was exposed to the worst of human nature. Linda has drawn upon her professional and personal experiences while writing her Red Dust novel series, but the stories are a work of fiction and do not depict any person, living or dead.

Book preview

JUSTICE

ONE

ROAD TO JUSTICE

The shearing season had long ended and a stillness had settled over Woori. Lisa O’Connor breathed the country air in deeply as her eyes roamed over the red dust of the outback landscape. Woori, her aunt and uncle’s sheep station and homestead, had been her home for three years now. She never tired of looking at its majestic plains and variety of wildlife. Today, however, the serenity of the scenery before her contrasted harshly with the knot of anxiety she felt in the pit of her stomach.

With each passing day, as the month of November drew closer, her apprehension mounted. How was she ever going to survive this investigation? It would bring back so many horrible memories, not to mention the demons she fought daily to keep from entering her consciousness. Talking to strangers about her ordeals was going to be dreadful. It would be even more difficult without Billy. The months had been long and lonely since he left to go Walkabout, and her heart ached for him.

It was mid-morning when Lisa eventually came inside. Aunt Zena raised her eyebrows and looked at her as she walked into the kitchen and slumped into a chair at the table. Sensing Lisa’s unrest, she said gently, ‘The police arrive next month, Lisa. It’s the fifth of November, remember?’

Lisa’s mouth suddenly went dry. She inhaled deeply in attempt to calm her nerves and steady her voice. ‘No, Aunty, I haven’t forgotten. How could I? This investigation, strange people, reliving everything again is something I’ve not stopped thinking about. I feel anxious all day, in the pit of my stomach. There’s this constant churning, even when I go to sleep. I really have to push it out of my head, and then my heart starts thumping. Sometimes I feel like I’m spinning out of control, and I am so nervous having to tell the police about the things Lenny did to me when I was younger . . . and what Superintendent Ash did at the Girls Home. What if the police look at me like I’m dirty, or like I’m damaged goods or . . . or that I led them on, like . . . like it was all my fault! My own mother calls me a liar; maybe they’ll think that too!’ She looked beseechingly at her aunt as she fought to control her rising panic.

Aunt Zena laid a comforting arm around Lisa’s shoulders. ‘Please stop thinking like this, sweetheart. Why do you project this continual shame on yourself? Don’t blame yourself! There is no way a girl your age could have made these things up. Alan and I will be right here with you every step of the way, and just remember, there is a female constable coming along with the two detectives. She will basically be a support person for you. Andrew Collette said she will help to reduce the interview tension and provide reassurance to you, especially to decrease any tendency for self-blame, and you do have that tendency Lisa.’

Lisa began to fidget, hoping Zena didn’t notice her kicking her feet back and forth under the table. Her aunt knew Lisa was agitated, and that lately there had been a pervading sense of powerlessness surrounding her. She didn’t want to worry her aunt even more, but the thought of revealing her painful past to police officials was filling her with dread.

‘What if they don’t believe me?’ Lisa’s voice pitched higher, her breathing becoming more rapid. ‘I know I’ve told the truth. These things did happen and . . . and they just have to believe me! Why would I make it up?’ Her face twisted in anguish, and her fists were clenched on the table. She began to crack her knuckles, which were now turning white.

‘Take a couple of deep breaths, Lisa, please. This is only the beginning. We have a lot to get through and the detectives will cover everything with you. They have to, in order to get these men prosecuted. They will gather and probe for information. That’s what they do. It’s their job. You can trust them. And besides, Detective Collette has already told us they have more information on both Lenny and the superintendent. There’s no reason for them to doubt you. You must remain positive.’

Lisa’s face flushed with colour. She suddenly jumped up, the chair falling backwards, fire flashing though her spirit once more. ‘They have to get those bastards. If they don’t, I will. I will find a way to make them pay for what they did to me, and all the other girls!’ She stormed out the house, the door banging loudly.

Lisa ran to the ute. A billow of red dust followed her as she started it up and raced wildly down the road, heading to the far paddocks.

The lanky figure in the distance was unmistakable. Her Uncle Alan was bent over, fencing. He looked up as Lisa approached in the ute. She dried her eyes so he didn’t notice she’d been crying.

When Lisa pulled up, he took a puff on his cigarette and drawled, ‘In a bit of a hurry kid?’ She smiled. He always had a calming effect on her. ‘Too early for tears as well. What’s up?’

Lisa attempted to conceal her uneasiness. ‘I’m just getting really anxious about the police coming, Alan, and telling them all that stuff, the personal stuff that went on. I don’t want them to think I’m lying or I’ve made this up.’

‘Only you can tell the police what happened, Lisa . . . you know that. I’d gladly swap places with you but I can’t. No-one can. You lived this horror, now it’s up to you. Finish the job. Make sure those mongrels get what they deserve.’

Lisa relented. ‘Yes I know, but . . . but I feel so much hatred and so many other feelings. I just want to yell and scream or punch something. Why did it happen to me?’ Her chin rested on her arms as she watched Alan repair the fences out the window of the ute.

Alan straightened up and hesitated before restarting the conversation. ‘Lisa, why does anything happen to anyone? It just does. Do you ever tell yourself you’re safe, kid?’

Lisa shrugged. ‘Huh? Not really. Why?’ She swallowed hard and wondered what his next comment would be. Alan always seemed to have a logical answer for most things.

‘Because you are, Lisa . . . here with me and Zena, safe as a house, as they say, and protected. Nothing will harm you here. So, you have to keep telling yourself that while you tell the coppers what went on. Hard, yep, for sure; it certainly doesn’t conjure up a warm, fuzzy feeling. And maybe when you provide all the information, you’ll be off your rocker slightly but there will also be a huge sense of relief. Anyway, just remember how those dickheads are feeling right now. They would be shit scared, terrified. Quaking in their boots.’ He gave Lisa a wry smile. ‘They’re the ones who are probably thinking of running away. Probably on their bikes now and peddling bloody hard. Like a rabbit caught in the spotlight.’

Lisa mulled this over. ‘I never thought of it like that.’

‘Trust me, the coppers would have told those bastards what they’re investigating. They know they’ve done it. Guilty as. So you’re in the driver’s seat. Have courage, Lisa. You’ll need to have more courage than you ever had before. But you’ve got that in spades. I doubt your courage will desert you now.’ Alan smiled at her encouragingly.

Lisa felt her spirits lift once more. ‘Thanks, Alan. You have a way of putting things that sort of makes me see sense.’ Alan seemed to have answers for everything. He always made her feel good and put things into perspective. Lisa tilted her head to the side and pensively looked across the vast paddocks. If only I didn’t have to face what was coming. If only there was another way for this to be handled.

‘Best wipe your face some more and we’ll head home for a cuppa. I’m done here,’ said Alan, hopping onto the motorbike.

‘I can’t wait for the next shearing season, Alan,’ Lisa said, her voice sounding melancholy.

‘Missing Billy? . . . Oh, yes, and of course the rest of the crew?’ asked Alan, with a wink.

‘Yes! I didn’t realise how much I would. The place seems so quiet and empty without everyone.’ Especially Billy. Her heart leaped at the thought of him.

‘They’ll be back, kid, next season. Never know for sure who will turn up, but you have to concentrate on what’s coming. The coppers, the charges unfolding, court, all that. Come on, let’s head back. See you at home, chin up now.’

Lisa, feeling calmer, drove back to the house far slower than when she left.

Zena quickly came to the back door. Alan took off his hat and kissed her cheek while Lisa parked the ute in the shade. She knew her aunt was worried about how she was going to cope with the official investigation, and that she didn’t want her healing to go backwards.

Lisa came up the back stairs. She was sheepish as she sat down. ‘Sorry, Aunty. I’m just so scared and angry at the same time. I want to get through this but I’m so worried that I won’t be believed. That I’ll go through all their invasive questions and for what?’

Zena gave her a hug. ‘Don’t be sorry, darling girl. Anger is a good thing when it’s channelled the right way. And being scared is okay too. But deep down inside you must know that they have a lot of evidence to go on. I agree with what Alan just said while you were parking the ute. Your anger and resilience will help give you the courage to work with the detectives and put these men away for good. Even though it might feel paralysing to relive all that trauma, your anger will see you through. And these men know they’re guilty, so they must be really panicked right about now, just like Alan said.’

Lisa looked at Alan. ‘Rabbits in a spotlight,’ she murmured as a faint smile crept across her face.

‘That’s it, kid. Keep that thought.’ His eyes were kind as she looked at him.

‘Am I missing out on something here?’ Zena asked.

‘Nope. I let Lisa know what happens when you throw a spotlight onto an animal in the dark. They sit there stunned because they’re so frightened or surprised that they cannot move. Our friends Lenny and Superintendent Ash will be the same when the boys in blue come knocking. How I’d like to be a fly on the wall.’

Zena laughed, breaking the tension they’d all been feeling. ‘Husband of mine, you do have a way with words. But changing the subject, when are you riding out to see Binna again, Lisa?’ Zena probed.

‘Maybe tomorrow. Why, Aunty? I did say I’d come back as soon as I could. Binna said she wants to do a special ceremony.’

‘Special? That sounds good. How wonderful of Binna. You know the effect she has on you, and you have made so much progress. Don’t let anger or fear tear you down now. Stay focused. I think what we have set in place, in terms of Dr Tyler and Binna, will hold you in good stead for what’s coming. The police will be here in just over three weeks’ time and will stay for a few days or for however long it takes. They’re in no hurry. The detective I spoke to said it often takes a few days to go through everything thoroughly as they don’t want to put too much pressure on you. And I do want them to have all the facts before they leave here. You would understand that.’

Lisa nodded but felt a gnawing anxiety at the thought of the police staying in their home. Under the same roof and facing them every day.

‘Are you happy to review all of your statements before the police arrive? I know it’s horrible, but the more we talk about it, the more we have it out in the open, and you’ll be able to recall things with greater clarity.’

‘Okay,’ said Lisa hesitatingly. To go over her statements and revisit the horrible abuse made her stomach churn again.

Zena tried to allay her fears. ‘I have very positive feelings about Dr Tyler. Don’t forget your first appointment is this Thursday in Walgett. A few sessions with her before the police arrive will provide you with more mental armour.’

Lisa hoped so, although she knew her whole life was about to be audited by three strangers.

◊

Over dinner that night, Lisa was very quiet. Zena watched her niece play with her food. Her spark had been missing since Billy left. She hoped Lisa would pull out of it with the tasks at hand and console herself with the fact that he was coming back. But what if he doesn’t? Zena wondered. She pushed that thought to the back of her mind. Her niece had enough to deal with. Zena would remain positive that Billy would return. She suddenly had an idea that might cheer Lisa up.

‘Lisa, you should come to the RSL this Saturday with us. Be good to get out of the house.’

‘Sure, if you want,’ responded Lisa, giving her aunt a droll look.

‘Of course we want. If possible, it might take your mind off things momentarily. The worst is yet to come but at the end of it, the best will come.’

Lisa helped wash up with Zena and stacked the last few dishes.

‘Let’s hit the sack, Zena,’ Alan said as he placed an arm around his wife’s shoulders. ‘It’s trying times but nothing we can’t get through. Get some sleep, kid,’ he said as they watched Lisa head to her room.

◊

The softness of the morning light filtered through the windows. Lisa stirred. She heard the laughing call of the kookaburras while the magpies chortled. Her eyes slowly fluttered open to meet the streaks of colour that radiated into her bedroom, the bright plumes of orange and red, the darkness lifting into the sky. She never closed the curtains at night, always eager to meet the beginning of a new day. Billy would say every day is a new beginning, with new dreams. How she missed him. She rolled on her side and looked at his necklace. What if he doesn’t come back? The loneliness stabbed at her heart like a dagger, cold and sharp.

She wandered into the kitchen where Zena was busy making chutneys. The sweet aroma filled the air.

‘Morning, darling girl. It’s a beautiful day, getting warmer now though as summer approaches.’

Lisa kissed her aunt as she threw some bread into the toaster.

‘Good day for a ride, Aunty. I’ll head out and see Binna and Ningali after my chores.’ Lisa brightened at the mention of a visit to the ladies.

‘Great, hun. Take these fresh vegetables I picked from the garden this morning and a jar of this sweet chutney and say hello for me. I must try and get out there soon to see them as well.’

Lisa buttered her toast. Seeing Binna and Ningali always gave her something to look forward to.

As if reading her mind, her aunt ventured, ‘Billy will be back, Lisa. You never hear from them until the season starts. They do their own thing, go Walkabout and go further inland to their country. He’s still going through his rite of passage and other rituals. As Alan and I have told you, they have their own laws. You must keep busy and time will soon pass. The next few weeks will be challenging, so we need to focus on this now. You are the voice for all those girls in the Home, past and present.’

Lisa knew she was right. As she thought of those girls still imprisoned in Parramatta Girls Home, her spirit steeled itself to help them.

‘Yes, Aunty, you are so right . . . you and Alan always are. I want to help all those other girls. There are so many who have been in those places, all suffering some sort of punishment and humiliation. Sometimes that thought alone is unbearable.’ The anger in her voice was evident.

‘Keep thinking that way, Lisa,’ said Zena as she bundled the vegetables and sweet chutney into a calico bag. ‘For the ladies. They both have a sweet tooth. By the way, Alan is keen, as am I, to get our breeding program under way. He may try to put Noir and Khartoum together this week.’

Lisa enthused, ‘That will be great. What beautiful foals those two will have together.’

‘Yes, so you may like to give Alan a hand and watch what he’s doing. He’s looking at buying some more mares at the sales, so you’ll be busy getting them settled in if he finds something he likes. Always something to do around here.’

‘Sorry, Aunty. I guess I have been moping, I miss Billy. He was just so different . . . different to anyone I’ve ever met.’

Zena’s expression softened. ‘He is a lovely boy, Lisa, and Alan thinks he’s been one of his best workers, but you mustn’t let it get you down. He’ll be back. Try and brighten up; we have a lot do to before the next season.’

Lisa washed up her plate and then hugged her aunt. Zena was always trying to cheer her up. She was so grateful for both of them in her life. God knows where she’d be now if it weren’t for them. She resolved to not be such a misery guts. ‘I’m off to do my chores then and I’ll be better in my outlook after that.’ Lisa looked at the calico bag on the table. ‘I’ll grab this when I saddle up.’

‘Good girl. I’ll see you later. Have faith and stay strong.’

As Lisa cantered along the dusty road towards her friends’ humpy, she saw Binna’s white hair in the distance, where she stood proudly, looking up the road. Her frail arm lifted, and she gave Lisa a small wave.

‘Hey, Binna,’ Lisa greeted as she pulled Neddy up near their shelter, tethering him to the closest tree. She grabbed the calico bag and came to Binna, who now sat cross legged, waving at the flies with a eucalypt branch. Ningali was nowhere to be seen.

Giving the old lady a hug, Lisa said, ‘I’ve brought some vegetables from our garden as well as a sweet chutney Zena made.’ Binna flashed her toothless grin as Lisa sat down next to her.

‘How have you been, my friend?’ Lisa asked gently.

‘Bin good. Ningali look after me well, true and proper. How you bin now season finished up.’

‘I’m okay, but it’s different. So very different, Binna. I did love all the people around, and the atmosphere. It was fun. It’s just us three now, and even though I love my aunt and Alan, I still miss everyone else.’ Lisa picked up some red dirt and let it fall through her fingers. She knew Binna sensed that her thoughts were drifting.

‘You bin missing dat boy . . . Billy. He get under your skin. Everyone like dat boy. He can touch your soul. Burnu, he dun good with him. I hear da sadness in your voice.’

‘Yes, you’re right as always. I miss him, Binna. I haven’t heard from him. Has anyone? Do you know anyone who may have heard where he is, what he’s up to?’

Binna drew lines in the dirt, circles and hills and what appeared to be a snake.

‘Billy crosses from boy to man now, through da bush and da deserts. In da ranges, under da sun, da moon and da stars. He come back, but then proper good man. No boy left.’

‘When? When will he be back, Binna?’ Lisa asked earnestly.

‘Not know for sure, but he be back when ready.’

Lisa’s sadness filled the air. ‘Big sorrow for you now, little one, but it get better.’

Lisa sighed as she looked at the drawings in the dirt. ‘Tell me a story, Binna. I want to hear one of your special ones. They always make me feel good inside.’ The old lady tapped her stick on the ground.

‘I tell you about da turtle. You bin swimming in da creeks and rivers with dem turtles.’ Lisa nodded, although she had never seen one.

‘One day, Wayamba, da turtle-man. . . he out gathering food. He see another man's wife, Oola, and her three children digging yams. Wayamba decide he would like a wife and family so he took dem home. When Wayamba's tribe saw what he had done, dey were very angry and dey go see dis turtle-man. Dey agree Wayamba must be punished, so he was showered with da spears. Wayamba chose big shields and slung one on his back and da other one on his front. Dem spears come whizzing through da air, Wayamba drew his arms inside da shields and duck his head down between them. Da spears of his tribe, dey come down on him, and there was nowhere to run. So he dived into da creek and swim down deeper and deeper. Dat was the last time da tribe saw Wayamba; he never surfaced again. Sometime later in dat water-hole where he had dived down, da tribe saw a strange creature that had a plate fixed to its back. When dey tried to catch da creature, it drew in its head and limbs, and dey don’t capture, so dey said it must be Wayamba. Dis da beginning of Wayamba, or as we now say da turtles, and dey live in da creeks and water holes.’

Binna drew a picture of a large turtle. ‘Good eating, dem turtles,’ she cackled.

‘Great Dreamtime story, Binna, but I’m not sure I’m up to eating turtles yet. I’ve tried goanna but I may have to pass on the turtles! I’d feel sorry for them.’ Binna just cackled again. ‘Will Ningali be long?’ Lisa asked her.

‘Ningali down at da river. She bring back maugro.’

‘What’s maugro?’

‘Fish.’ Binna made hand movements like a fish swimming. ‘Maugro taste proper good.’

‘We have da special ceremony. Secret women’s business. Just you and me, little one. Healing. We use da sky charms,’ said Binna as she pulled out some glassy stones.

‘What are sky charms?’

‘Dey glass stones, dem fall from da sky. Dey connect to da sky spirits. Lookem like emu eyes. Sky charms very powerful medicine. Good for da storms in your life. Get you on da right track. Now we begin.’

Directly behind Binna was a large shell filled with herbs, native tobacco and some bush cherry bark. She began to rub two sticks, her frail hands working vigorously, and a small flame ignited. She fanned the flame and the smoking began. She began chanting and held Lisa’s hands.

Lisa closed her eyes and breathed the sweet smell of the fire. It was like her body was floating and no longer of the earth. She felt her shoulders relax and her mind clear, while an energy moved through her body. Binna finally stopped chanting, and Lisa opened her eyes. She breathed in the old lady’s strength and wisdom. Binna moved her hand towards Lisa and placed two stones in her right hand. She began chanting again and then stopped. ‘Throw da stones now. You calm your mind. Sickness not return.’

Lisa picked up the stones and threw them into the bush. Binna smiled and nodded. She looked very pleased.

‘You plenty strong now. No more pain. Dem bad spirits, dey leave you now. You lay down, let your mind flow . . . open da senses. All da Spirits of the Land, dey here watching,’ said Binna as she ran her wizened hand over the red dust.

Lisa curled up in a ball and lay down under the shade of the humpy. Binna sat next to her and picked up two clap sticks, moving them together and singing softly as she clicked them.

Lisa fell into a deep sleep, happy to lie on the red dirt floor, the smoke wafting around her, the sounds of the bush and Binna next to her. She murmured softly. Billy was there. His spirit had come to her. She felt him. Oh how she yearned to see him in the flesh.

Just then, Ningali entered the humpy, carrying fish. ‘Da baby she bin sleeping?’ Binna nodded.

Lisa opened her eyes and sat up at the sound of Ningali’s voice. She stretched slowly and felt the energy and peace in her body and mind. ‘Hello, Ningali,’ Lisa smiled. ‘What have you got there?’

Ningali held up three maugro and looked very pleased with herself. ‘Me catchem maugro. Plenty big feast tonight, missy. Me makem da cook up,’ she chuckled as she put the fish down.

Lisa reached over and took Binna’s hands. ‘Thank you, Binna. I feel at peace, and my mind is clear. You chase the bad spirits from me. I’m happy. But now I have to get going or they’ll have a search party out for me,’ she teased as she dusted off her jeans.

After hugging both ladies, Lisa set off, waving goodbye as she headed back to the homestead. ‘Come on Neddy, I’ve been away for over half the day.’ As Lisa rode, she thought of Billy and wished he was by her side. Stay safe, Billy, wherever you are. I know you were with me today. That thought filled her with some comfort as she made her way back to the Woori homestead.

After hosing down Neddy and giving him a hay bag, Lisa went inside.

‘Well there you are! I was getting worried,’ said Zena as she put down the newspaper.

‘I fell asleep after Binna’s ceremony. It was just her and me, Aunty, and she used these sky charms. It was amazing.’

‘What are sky charms?’ asked Zena, somewhat curious.

‘Emu eyes,’ Lisa giggled. ‘No, they look like emu eyes. Binna said they are glass stones that have fallen from the sky. I can’t describe how I feel inside, in my mind,’ she exclaimed as she pointed to her head. ‘How do they do this to you? How can they have this power?’

‘I don’t know, Lisa, but I’m so very grateful and wish I had just some of that power. Binna is well respected as a healer, you know that. You’re glowing,’ observed Zena. ‘Well, go wash up. We’re not long off dinner and an early night is needed as we’re heading into Walgett tomorrow to see Dr Tyler.’

Instead of fear or apprehension crossing her face, Lisa took a deep breath. ‘Yep, Aunty. I’m ready. Can you sit with me before we go to bed so we can go over our notes.’

Zena looked surprised. ‘Yes, of course. I didn’t want to push it, but that’s a great idea before we see Dr Tyler.’

After dinner, they headed to the sitting room where the notes were filed, categorised in two piles.

‘Where do you want to start, Lisa?’ Zena asked encouragingly.

‘Here,’ she decided, pointing to home - Fairfield. ‘Where it all began,’ she said defiantly, the heat surging into her cheeks. Over the next two hours, Lisa would stop and then take a few breaths before reading again. Waves of nausea stopped her talking on many occasions but she quickly recovered with steely determination and turned the pages. Once she’d read through everything she’d written on both Fairfield and the Parramatta Girls Home, she turned to her aunt, her eyes shining with tears.

‘I’m confident I’ve not left anything out. I feel prepared but still am shaking in my boots. I have so much to tell the police. I just think of the girls in all those Girls Homes, not just Parramatta. I heard the other girls talk about Hay and Minda and what they referred to as the ‘Cooty’ girls. Short for Cootamundra,’ said Lisa.

‘There’s no doubt in my mind, Lisa, that the same conditions would apply there, just the same harsh discipline and punitive treatment,’ sighed Zena. ‘I’m just so glad they allowed the police to come to Woori. I think it was your notes that we sent them that got us over the line. I stressed you were deeply affected by the events and that having to go down to Sydney when we were meant to be attending regular psychiatric counselling would be very disruptive for your recovery. Andrew agreed and admitted there were no set protocols. It’s entirely dependent on the individual, and each person is assessed on a case-by-case basis.  The purpose of their interviews with you is to replicate our notes into formal typewritten statements, which will be used in evidence.

Lisa felt her anger bubble to the surface. ‘And there were the girls that were raped and fell pregnant, and their babies were taken from them. I get so sad thinking about what happened to all of the girls put into these places, and of course, my friend, Julie. What happened to her body? What did they tell her mother? All those things are in my head, but worst of all, I heard girls saying the police knew all about it and everything was covered up.’

‘Maybe, but who knows for sure. I would say though, a lot has been covered up over the years but that is about to all spill out. It’s a matter not just for the police but also the appropriate authorities. The main thing is that you have started the process to bring justice for these girls. You are now their voice and this voice must be heard.’

Lisa yawned, the weariness now creeping into her body. ‘I’m sleepy now, Aunty, but I hear what you say. Although I’ve never been a champion of any cause.’

‘Well, you are now,’ murmured Zena.

Lisa kissed her aunt goodnight. She knew she was safe, even though her heart was pounding at the thought of telling the psychiatrist tomorrow what had happened to her.

Before sleep came, Lisa picked up the quartz stones Burnu had given her when he left and kissed them, squeezing them tightly. I hope Dr Tyler will be able to help me, she thought as she fell into a fitful sleep.

TWO

THE PATH TO HEALING

Sleep was no friend. Lisa woke early, quickly showered and put on the navy blue shift dress she’d laid out the previous night. Sometimes Mrs Dunphy got some good clothes in at the haberdashery store in Walgett. Patent black shoes with a small heel and she was ready. The quartz stones sat neatly in her pocket.

‘Good morning,’ said Alan as she walked into the kitchen. ‘You look lovely. All set to go?’ Lisa wondered if he could sense the fear in her heart, even though she did feel much calmer after her healing with Binna yesterday.

‘Err . . . yes, thank you, Alan, but I’m a bit nervous. My stomach has flutters, but then again, I know I’m prepared. Where’s Aunty?’

‘Getting ready, kid. She’s just as nervous as you. Tossed around like a fish on a boat last night. Here, help yourself to some bacon and eggs,’ Alan offered as he slid the plate across.

‘I’m not that hungry, Alan. Too jittery and . . . well, you know, it’s the feeling of the unknown and another stranger.’

‘Yep, I can understand that, but your aunt’s orders. Try to have something.’

When Zena came into the kitchen, she wore a grey suit with a white shirt. Zena cast her eye over Lisa. ‘Good choice, dear. Have your breakfast and we’ll get on our way. Don’t forget your sandshoes for the gates and one of Alan’s old shirts to throw over the dress. Helps stop the dirt getting all over your clothes.’

Alan placed a cup of tea in front of his wife with some buttered toast. He knew, instinctively, she felt the same as Lisa.

‘Alright, we’re done here! Time to hit the frog and toad. Don’t want you to be late,’ he exclaimed. As they were about to leave, Alan held Lisa’s hands. ‘Remember what I told you, kid. Be strong now. This lady today will be able to help you.’ He kissed them both on the cheek. ‘See you when you get home.’

◊

As they pulled into Walgett, Lisa felt her first rush of nerves and gritted her teeth. She remembered what Alan had said about the Freedom Riders, the crazy Sydney University students led by Charles Perkins who made a significant protest outside the Walgett RSL Club as they would not let indigenous ex-serviceman into the club. How brave they were to do that. I must be as brave.

The streets were wide, and it was always fascinating to people watch. There were the cow cockies in their Akubras having a yarn in the street, stock trucks, people coming and going, just the bustle of a small country town. But her favourite was the Walgett War Memorial, erected in 1922. So many names, so many lost young men. Alan always spoke so proudly of the men who lost their lives serving their country. The Aboriginal meaning for Walgett was where the two rivers met, and every time she plunged into the river after riding, she thought of this. Lisa had also wanted to do the Norman Walford walk one day, after Alan had told her his story. The track was nearly two miles long but it celebrated Norman’s life as a tracker with the NSW police for many years. It was this history, the birdlife and the Namoi River that held her fascination.

‘Here we are,’ said Zena as the old blue Zephyr drove slowly past the shingle with the name Dr Helen Tyler. ‘I’ll park up the road and we’ll walk back. Are you okay, Lisa?’

‘I can feel my heart racing, Aunty.’ Lisa nervously felt for the quartz in her pocket, ‘But I’m okay.’

‘That makes two of us,’ Zena said softly. ‘It’s good to be apprehensive but I’m sure you’ll really appreciate what this lady has to offer. I’m told by Michael Raby that she’s an expert in her field and has handled a lot of cases similar to yours over the years. You’ve nothing to lose, Lisa, and only good things to learn. I think if Michael, being the superintendent of police here in Walgett, offers her name as an expert then we are well on the right track.’

‘What will I learn?’ asked Lisa as they reached the front door of Dr Tyler’s office.

‘Coping strategies for one thing, relaxation techniques, as well as therapy,’ said Zena as she pushed the door open.

‘Afternoon,’ Zena said to the receptionist, a young red-haired woman in her early twenties with a very friendly face. Lisa glanced around. They were the only ones in the office.

‘I’m Mrs Smith and this is my niece who has the appointment, Lisa O’Connor.’

‘Just take a seat, Mrs Smith. Dr Tyler won’t be long,’ the young woman said warmly.

Zena held Lisa’s hand. She was fidgeting and trembling slightly. Zena squeezed her hand reassuringly.

A door opened and a woman in her early fifties entered the waiting room. Lisa knew instantly that coming to see her was a good move. Dr Tyler wore her blonde hair in a loose chignon at the nape of her neck. A simple white linen blouse, tapered tweed skirt and flat shoes were finished off with a string of pearls. When she smiled, her blue eyes crinkled, and she exuded kindness. She was warm and engaged Lisa with her eyes.

Dr Tyler walked over to where they sat. ‘I’m Dr Tyler, ladies,’ she greeted with an outstretched hand. Her voice was soft but confident. Lisa wondered how many horrible stories this woman had heard over the years. The doctor shook Zena’s hand first. ‘Mrs Smith,’ she said warmly, and then turned to Lisa. ‘And you must be Miss O’Connor. Welcome. This must be a very difficult thing for you to do, to come here today.’ Lisa nodded and smiled. She liked this woman.

‘May I call you both by your first names?’

Lisa looked over at Zena and both could feel their tension visibly melting away.

‘Yes, Dr Tyler, this is fine with both of us,’ she agreed.

‘Umm . . . yes, it’s okay, I would like that,’ chimed Lisa.

‘Good! Then you can call me Helen. Please come this way.’ They followed Dr Tyler into her office. It was a large, airy room with soft bluish-grey walls. Fresh flowers were on her desk, and the walls were covered with beautiful art work, a mixture of Aboriginal and Australian landscapes. A rich brown leather couch was opposite her desk, but two large floral chairs were next to a bay window that overlooked a small cottage garden. There was a peaceful feeling to the room.

‘Thank you for reaching out, Lisa. Counselling for sexual abuse is about healing and teaching. There are three phases to my therapy. The early phase will focus on building trust and preparing you for the healing process. I will encourage you to tell me what has happened to you, and this may prove to be very difficult.’ Lisa’s throat felt tight and dry upon hearing this, but she nodded slowly, her hand still clutching Zena’s.

‘Sometimes, the memories are all jumbled, and the pain of these memories can be overwhelming, and sometimes, you just don’t know where to start.’

Dr Tyler spoke calmly so Lisa started to relax. ‘Do you feel this way, Lisa . . . with the pain and the thought of being overwhelmed?’

‘Yes, I do, I don’t know where to start, and I feel such hatred and anger sometimes.’

‘Understandably, Lisa. This is a natural reaction, but we will deal with this emotion as we progress. Peace and contentment needs to come from within when we are facing our inner struggles. The middle phase is where the brunt of my work is done. We reprocess the trauma. In general, in these situations, I’ve found there is anger towards the abusers, non-protective parents, siblings and even caretakers. During your sessions with me, this is where you will release some of the feelings associated with the trauma, and the impact. From there, you can move forward.’

Lisa felt hot tears stinging her cheeks, hearing Dr Tyler’s words. It was the mere phrase ‘non-protective parents’ that made her bottom lip tremble. Dr Tyler handed Lisa the box of tissues. ‘This is where I will teach you coping strategies while educating you in terms of cognitive restructuring.’

Dr Tyler rose from her chair. ‘I’ll just stop for now, as that is a lot to take in.’ She pressed her intercom, and the young receptionist woman appeared shortly after with a tray of water and glasses. ‘Thank you, Sandra.’

Dr Tyler poured three glasses and handed one to Zena and Lisa. ‘How does this sound to you so far, Lisa?’

Lisa nodded, her voice cracking with emotion. ‘I understand, Dr Tyler. I’m looking forward to trusting you and working with you,’ she admitted, pressing the glass of water to her lips, which felt as dry and parched as a desert.

‘Zena, your thoughts or questions?’

‘I am so grateful to you, Dr Tyler, oh sorry . . . Helen. This is harrowing for Lisa, particularly as the detectives from Sydney will be here in just over three weeks’ time. Lisa will have to revisit everything we have documented here.’ Zena handed a brown envelope to Dr Tyler.

‘These are the notes we both made over the past few weeks. It may help you with Lisa’s sessions. I’ll give a copy of these to the detectives when they come to our property, although I did send the documents to them in Sydney for review.’

‘Thank you, Zena. This will be of significant value.’ Her eyes moved to Lisa.

‘This will be horrific for you, Lisa, but we will work together to get through this. You were not responsible for what happened to you. When we’ve finished, you will feel more in control and hopefully, more able to deal with the impact the abuse has had on your life. In view of the fact the police will be arriving shortly, I want to see you twice weekly. Is that a possibility, Zena?’

‘Yes, absolutely.’ Zena was pleased. ‘Do you know how long the treatment will last. I guess that’s asking how long is a piece of string?’

Dr Tyler smiled. ‘Yes, it is. Some people respond quicker than others. But in the termination phase, I’ll teach Lisa empowerment and how to make her own choices and decisions. It is important at this time that she is supported.’

‘My husband Alan and I are always here for Lisa.’ Zena took Lisa’s hand again.

Dr Tyler acknowledged this with a look of approval. ‘Very good. I can see she is loved, which is so crucial. I now need you to leave Lisa with me for an hour.’

Zena nodded. ‘Okay. I have a few things to do. I’ll see you in an hour.’

‘Perfect,’ said Dr Tyler. ‘We’ll book a few further appointments for Lisa before you leave today. Thank you for providing me with this documented information. I’ll ask Sandra to photocopy the documents as she said you needed these back for the police.’

As Zena rose to walk to the door, Lisa felt frightened. Dr Tyler seemed to sense her fear. ‘It’s okay, Lisa, to feel fear, but I am only here to help you and teach you techniques that you will utilise all throughout your life.’

Zena’s eyes met Lisa’s. ‘You’ll be